I love funny horror movies -- movies that manage to scare me a little, or creep me out, but also make me laugh. Sure, there are lots of spoofs of horror movies, from Young Frankenstein to the Scary Movie series, that might be hilarious at times but don't keep the audience on the edge of their seats. And straight-forward frightfests are everywhere these days. However, it's a rare movie that can hit both ends of the spectrum with skill. The criteria for my seven funniest horror movies were that they had to actually be horror movies -- in other words, I had to jump or hide my eyes at least once, and laugh out loud at least once.

In compiling this list, I left off some horror comedies I like a lot because they're not yet widely available: for example, I saw Frostbite and Severance at Fantastic Fest this year, but they haven't been released in American theaters yet. I also left off horror movies that weren't intended as comedy, but that some people laugh at today for camp value or even sheer awfulness. At least one film isn't included because I haven't seen it, but I'm not saying which one(s) because my little brother mocked me mercilessly for not watching it and I don't need further abuse. Feel free to comment on which movies you think I should have included, though.

Halloween is a great time of year if you love horror movies. I'm not what you'd call a horror buff -- I'm way too much of a weenie. I'm the person you see at horror flicks hunched way down in my seat with my jacket ready to hide my face in if it gets overwhelming. Plus, I have a very active imagination, and when I see a really scary movie it stays in my head, and then late at night when I'm taking a relaxing bubble bath after the kids have gone down for the night, I'll hear the voice of Pennywise the Clown giggling in the drain, telling me how "we all float down here." God, I hate clowns.

Nonetheless, there is something shiveringly delicious about being scared just the right amount, isn't there? That rush of adrenaline, that thrill of being in danger, tempered by the knowledge that we are perfectly safe in a theater seat with a bag of popcorn and a box of Whoppers to help see us through. Here are some horror flicks that really scared me, that stayed in my head somewhere to haunt me late at night, to come creeping out of dark shadows. They're scary, but oh so good ...

The Changeling -- This is my favorite horror movie ever. George C. Scott stars as a writer who, after the death of his wife and daughter in a tragic accident, rents a spooky mansion. All by himself. Right away, creepy things start happening -- and I mean creepy. This film is packed with send-a-shiver-up-your-spine moments: The spooky voice of Joseph, a ghost child recorded on tape during a seance, audible only when it's played at the right speed; a ball bouncing down the stairs; visions of a bathtub with a drowned child. Look! I have goosebumps just thinking about it! And yet this is one scary movie I can watch over and over again. Once you've seen this movie, you'll never look at wheelchairs the same way again.

Just about every big-budget mega-movie gets its very own video game tie-in, from Harry Potter and Narnia to Spider-Man and Lord of the Rings. Used to be that 92% of these movie-license games were grade-A certifiable crap, but we've come a long way since then. (Nowadays it's only about 55%.) One of the newest (and lovably geekiest) trends in video games is the "retro" approach, which is what I call it when someone says "Hey, you know what old movie would make for a great video game? Mannequin!" before heading off to design a video game in which you're required to collect hundreds of dismembered mannequin parts while avoiding the affections of a harrowingly annoying homosexual stereotype and thwarting the nefarious schemes of a bizarrely prissy James Spader.

Fortunately, nobody's gotten it into their head to make a video game out of Mannequin, but there have been some really slick video games based on some really cool "old" movies. But let's get one turkey out of the way first:

Happy Labor Day! All year long, you've been working hard, meeting deadlines, filing reports, sending emails, crunching numbers and counting up those vacation days, while strategically placing them at certain times throughout the year in order to maximize their potential. Heck, you deserve a day off -- 24 hours of rest, relaxation and a whole lot of nothing.

My favorite kinds of movies to watch on Labor Day are those that remind me why this day is important in the first place -- ya know, why it matters. And, what a better way to do that then to throw in a package of tasty microwave popcorn, slide into those comfy slippers and settle down with a few of your favorite work-related flicks. So, on a day that's dedicated to the American working men and women, how about we celebrate not working by enjoying some of the following films:

Although they do have their fans, Broken Lizard can't seem to get a break from the critics. The troupe behind Super Troopers, Club Dread and now Beerfest continually garner low scores at Rotten Tomatoes, because they're just not that funny. Especially compared to a number of other great comedy groups, such as the following (in no particular order):

• The Marx Brothers - Groucho, Chico, Harpo, and sometimes Zeppo were the undisputed champions of ensemble comedy. Each one of the real-life brothers filled a specific category of comedian: the witty one; the sly con artist; the silent clown and the straight-man. Often Margaret Dumont was also on-hand as the comic foil, and could technically be considered part of the troupe. They lasted for technically 13 features (plus two shorts, one of which is lost forever, and a 1957 film called The Story of Mankind, which they had a cameo appearance), many of which aren't very good but all of which are enjoyable for their anarchic humor.
  
• Monty Python - Beginning on a BBC sketch-comedy show, John Cleese, Eric Idle, Terry Gilliam, Graham Chapman, Terry Jones and Michael Palin went on to make a number of hilarious films together. Aside from the actual Monty Python movies -- my favorite of which is not Holy Grail, but Life of Brian-- they continued working together, not always completely, in later works directed by Gilliam and Jones, as well as other pictures like A Fish Called Wanda and Yellowbeard.

Born in late 1971, I was raised on a steady diet of Star Wars, Willy Wonka, King Kong and The Sound of Music -- but once I got just old enough to figure out the correlation between TV Guide and the family tube, I was off and running. And let me tell you this: If you were a teeny little sci-fi geek in the early-to-mid '80s, and you didn't mind digging back a few years for your cinematic treats, you probably sat through some exceedingly weird flicks. I'm not here to trash or praise these movies, but to shine an affectionate little beacon on the fact that ... damn, those were some weird-ass movies!

Flash Gordon (1980) -- OK, here's where I break two rules right out of the gate: 1. Flash Gordon was released in 1980, so technically it's not from the '70s. Sorry. 2. I said I wasn't here to trash or praise the films, but if there's one flick out there that makes me feel like I'm nine years old again, it's Mike Hodges' adorably kitschy Flash Gordon. Boasting a production design that's as dazzling as it is kooky, a wonderfully out-of-place (yet still rockin') Queen score, a handful of really ripe acting performances, and more than a few bizarre occurences, Flash Gordon is grade-A loopy, but it's still a whole lot of fun.

Battle for the Planet of the Apes (1973) -- Ape-maker Arthur P. Jacobs was absolutely intent on squeezing just a few final drops of blood from his played-out simian series, and the result is a movie in which apes and the human slaves do battle with a bunch of mutants who somehow have lots of nifty weapons. Plus, c'mon, you know you wanna see Claude Akins, Paul Williams and John Huston dressed up in full ape-face regalia.

Silent Running (1972) -- Special effects genius Doug Trumbull makes his directorial debut -- with a screenplay by Stephen Bochco ... and Michael Cimino? OK, sign me up. Let's check the back of the box ... hmm, an outer-space greenhouse manager is told to destroy his beloved forests (which happen to be the very last ones in existence) and return home. But since the main character is played by Bruce Dern, I suppose "he goes a little insane" is a foregone conclusion. Plus the flick has shrubbery, murder and robots -- and despite my snarky attitude, I think it's actually quite a good movie.

Soylent Green (1973) -- We all know the "surprise ending" by now, but Richard Fleischer's 1973 sci-fi / murder mystery still holds up surprisingly well, despite its rather outlandish "2022 New York" setting. Look beyond the somewhat meandering gumshoe machinations and you'll find one of the grimmest and darkest depictions of the future ever created for a mainstream movie. Plus, Chuck Heston is always good for a few great pieces of over-ripe scenery-chewing, and he does not disappoint here.

A Boy and His Dog (1975) -- A post-apocalyptic Don Johnson wanders through the wastelands while telekinetically chatting with his furry canine companion. Things seems to be looking up for Don when he stumbles his way into a community full of women who need impregnating, but (believe it or not) things get even weirder after that. Based on a novella by Harlan Ellison, this flick's enjoyed a pretty solid after-life as a forgotten cult classic ... but I just don't get it.

Logan's Run (1976) -- Also known as "the very first sci-fi movie I ever saw, and the one that blew my brain out the back out my skull, but not literally." Here's the scoop: It's the 23rd Century, and once you hit the age of 30 you go to "Carousel," which is where your body is zapped dead by lasers, but your soul is transported to the body of a lovely new baby -- or so everybody thinks. (Why is everybody in the future so damn gullible?) Those who doubt that "Carousel" does what it promises decide to "run," and that's where the nasty "Sandmen" come in: Their job is to track and kill the "runners" before they make it out of the domed city, but what happens when a "Sandman" is forced to become a "runner"? Well, let's just say it involves Farrah Fawcett, a frozen robot, and some of the wackiest set design ever caught on film. But for all its accidental goofiness, I think Logan's Run still holds up as a damn fine sci-fi adventure. That robot sure was silly though...

Zardoz (1974) -- Sean Connery, clad only in an ill-fitting red diaper, leaps from a giant floating evil god's head and must deal with stuff like Eternals, Brutals, Apathetics, Renegades, Vortexes and forced erections. (Don't ask.) Despite being one of the very strangest sci-fi flicks ever produced, Zardoz is actually pretty darn watchable, what with all its outrageous costumes, indecipherable dialogue, and semi-lofty concepts. If anything, Zardoz proves that it's entirely possible for a major motion picture to be made while the entire production crew is zonked out on LSD.

I'm a film critic and I love horror movies. According to the studios, I do not exist. This year they have decided that horror movies (among other types) don't need reviews, and they have opened some dozen of them without press screenings, the latest batch being Pulse, Snakes on a Plane and The Wicker Man. Now, it may be that these movies are terrible. Or perhaps they just require a certain sensibility to understand them. In any case, they deserve a shot, and to show the studios that we critics are capable of getting horror movies, I worked on a list of the seven best from the past seven years. Surprisingly, my master list came out to more than 30 titles, which I painfully pared down to this final seven (I even had to leave out Saw and Ravenous!). Significantly, each of these films was made available to the press prior to their openings.

1. Pulse (2001, Kiyoshi Kurosawa)
This, the scariest movie I've seen in years, gave me the creeping tingles. Like Lynch or Bunuel, Kurosawa has the power to tap right into our most nightmarish fears, but does it subtly, normally, like something lurking just outside the periphery of our everyday existence. Released in the U.S. in 2005.

2. Land of the Dead (2005, George A. Romero)
Romero adds another chapter to his legendary, brilliantly masterful zombie series, evoking all manner of classical imagery to build a harrowing portrait of the way we live today. And that's really scary.

3. Audition (2001, Takashi Miike)
Three words: watch the bag.

4. The Blair Witch Project (1999, Eduardo Sanchez, Daniel Myrick)
Pushing through the hype, the money, the buildup and the backlash, one can find at the rocky center a really good, quite imaginative and gripping film done with an eye on the unseen and the unknown.

5. The Descent (2006, Neil Marshall)
The second-scariest movie I've seen in years features incredible use of total darkness as well as a surprising look at the darkness of the soul.

6. Session 9 (2001, Brad Anderson)
This underrated, barely noticed film is perhaps the most intelligent haunted house (or rather haunted hospital) movie I've ever seen.

7. The Devil's Backbone (2001, Guillermo Del Toro)
This creepy flick, improbably set in an adobe school smack in the middle of the bright Spanish desert, may be Del Toro's finest hour.

Since V for Vendetta was recently released on DVD, I've found myself asking a deep, philosophical question. How many other actresses shaved their heads or went totally bald for the sake of the cinematic arts? It turns out there were quite a few. I found nine worth mentioning and eventually decided to drop Robin Tunney (Empire Records) and Demi Moore (G.I. Jane) to runner-up status.

1. Maria Falconetti in The Passion of Joan of Arc (1928)

Falconetti set the tone for bald chicks for generations to come; many critics have singled out hers as the greatest movie performance of all time. Most of the movie is in close-up and you find yourself looking more at her haunted eyes than you do her close-cropped dome.

2. Constance Towers in The Naked Kiss (1964)

In the opening moments of Samuel Fuller's crime classic, prostitute Kelly (Towers) swings away with her purse at the camera, beating the living tar out of some john who refuses to pay her. At some point during the scuffle, the victim reaches out and snatches her hair right off the top of her head! She's bald as a cue ball! (She then spends the entire credit sequence re-arranging her wig.) It's likely that Ms. Towers actually wore a skin wig (Fuller probably didn't pay enough to warrant a real shave), but the force of this sequence alone earns it a spot on the list.

With the release of Little Man, I was shocked to find no protests from little people. Is this movie not the worst representation of dwarfs in decades? Though I'm not sure if the actors playing Marlon Wayans' body are actual little people, it must be insulting that a real little person isn't playing the "vertically-challenged" character. Wasn't it bad enough that The Lord of the Rings trilogy didn't use dwarfs as hobbits? Basically Little Man backtracks the portrayal of little people and makes them out to be freaks once again.

So, I'd like to take this opportunity to salute the little people in movies. They are in fact all over the big screen, mostly as stand-ins and stunt-doubles for children, but once in awhile they are really celebrated with prominent roles. These roles have decreased, though, since CGI replaced many creature characters so we have fewer little people dressed as Ewoks, robots and other sci-fi/fantasy inventions. I chose seven films I think are quite significant in the showcasing of individual little people. I've deliberately left out Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs on account it obviously doesn't use actual little people, and I've also omitted The Wizard of Oz since there are no real standouts, only a lot of dressed-up extras.

There's bad casting and good casting, to be sure, and sometimes there's strange casting. But sometimes, out of left field, someone agrees to act in a movie with a certain director, and you just can't see the connection. Sometimes this works out, and other times it does not.

1. D.W. Griffith & W.C. Fields, Sally of the Sawdust (1925)
Yes, the great, curmudgeonly comic with the bulbous nose, the penchant for booze and a curdling disdain for children and animals found himself working with the famously Victorian silent-era film pioneer. Griffith's career was on the way down, and Fields' was on the way up, and they met in the middle for this actually rather delightful comedy-drama. Fields occupies the co-starring role (opposite Carol Dempster) as a carnival cardsharp.

You'll no doubt remember all the controversy and skepticism that surrounded the production of Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl... Oh wait, maybe you wouldn't remember it -- because it existed only in the deepest realms of mega-movie-geekery. Much of the skepticism and dismissive chit-chat came from the fact that the movie was based on an amusement park ride ... but the astute movie nuts knew what the problem was:

There hadn't been a good pirate movie in about three decades, and we had no reason to think that trend was about to be bucked. I know what I'm talking about, because I was one of the hand-wringers, one of the oh-so-brilliant movie nerds who knew that any sort of pirate movie was doomed from the word go. (Needless to say, in the case of The Black Pearl, I was dead wrong, and I was extremely thrilled to admit how wrong I was.)

So with Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest only a few days away (and AWESOME!), I thought it might be fun to dredge back over the past few decades and dig up some of the gold-plated mega-turkeys that managed to keep the pirate genre buried at sea.

"Funny, how gentle people get with you once you're dead."

The above quote is from the 1950 film Sunset Blvd, directed by Billy Wilder. It's Wilder's 100th birthday today; sadly, he died in 2002. Wilder co-wrote directed some of the funniest American movies ever-- Some Like It Hot is probably the one people remember best -- as well as dramas like Double Indemnity, Sunset Blvd, and The Apartment. Even his less successful and lesser-known films include some wonderful moments. So in honor of Wilder's birthday, here's a Cinematical Seven on the creme de la creme of fantastic, memorable scenes in Wilder's films.

When a film festival has 418 films, you're bound to miss a few you wanted to see. It was a cinematic hydra -- for every film I saw at the Seattle International Film Festival, there were always two more I didn't catch. Here are the seven films I most regret not being able to work into my SIFF-tastic viewing schedule:

• Frostbite - Man, I really wanted to see this film. It had vampires! Really mean ones! In Sweden! Where there's no daylight for part of the year, setting the perfect conditions for a giant vampire party: B.Y.O.B. -- bring your own ... you know.
• Host and Guest - This Korean film, about a cynical intellectual and an evangelist, won the jury prize for Best Director for helmer Dong-Il Sun.  I'll have to keep an eye out at future fests for this one.
• Starfish Hotel -  A Japanese gothic supernatural mystery? Holy geez, how did I miss that one? I overheard someone in the press office talking about how great this film was, but never managed to work it in.
• Beowulf and Grendel - Here I was all set to interview director Sturla Gunnarsson about Beowulf and Grendel, starring Stellan Skarsgärd and Sarah Polley and then I ended up not making the screening due to illess. I'm going to try to track this one down -- maybe it'll be at Toronto in September, and we can review it and do an interview then.
• House of Sand - How did I manage to miss this Brazilian saga about a family of women surviving amid the desolation of the desert -- again? I swear, one day I will see House of Sand, and then I will review it for you. It's on my "things to do before I die list" now, so it's official.
• Who Is Harry Nilsson (and Why is Everybody Talking About Him?) - Who is Harry Nilsson? The Beatles knew who the singer-songwriter was -- he was one of their faves.This film wasn't on my list, until I kept hearing people talking about being excited to see it, and, later, raving about what a fantastic film it was. Now I wish I'd had it on my list.
• We Go Way Back - I really wanted to catch this feature by former Fly Filmmaking Challenge director Lynn Shelton, about a woman confronted by a 13-year-old version of herself. Am going to try to track down a screener of this one. It had great buzz.

Below the fold, the seven films I enjoyed most at SIFF.

It's usually around this time of the year that movie buffs sigh and -- settling back on the rocking chair on their metaphorical porch -- reminisce wistfully about how they don't make summer movies like they used to. This, of course, inspires the daydream: What if they did? Specifically (as I was inclined to contemplate after a few deck beers) what if you made (or, for that matter, re-made) the three films that began with 1977's Star Wars today? The following's just an exercise -- think of it as the film nerd equivalent of Fantasy Football -- but here are a few picks for the leads in the original Star Wars trilogy, if you re-cast them today. Only two ground rules: No one who's been in a Star Wars film so far (sorry, Keira Knightley) and, well, no one from Serenity, either -- that's too easy. Alternate picks are included, too, if you want to go lower-budget ... and if you want to weigh in, there are fabulous prizes (well, prize) for the best cast of seven submitted by our readers. ...


1) Luke Skywalker: You want someone young and determined, who can grow into strength from uncertainty -- whoever gets this role has to be able to whine about the power converters and swing a lightsaber. My pick would be Ryan Gosling -- he's a good actor, has a strong presence, and his small-town Canadian roots would help him fill in what it's like to grow up on Tatooine. Alternate Pick: Shane West (ER; A Walk to Remember)  for the same reasons.

2) Princess Leia: Any Leia should be able to go from a diplomatic event to a gunfight and still look great doing either: Brains, pluck, sass and class. My pick would actually be Rosario Dawson, for all the above reasons, and as you can believe her as somene Han and Luke would fall for instantly. Alternate Pick: Evangeline Lilly, and not just for the barge bikini. But that'd be nice, too.

(More casting picks after the jump. ...)

Though Hollywood begins its summer earlier and earlier each year, in general, Memorial Day weekend brings us the season's unofficial start and everything that goes along with it. Hell yeah, it's time to open up the pool, grease up the barbeque and talk big budget blockbusters baby!

Growing up, with no school to occupy my mind during those three months off, there was nothing to look more forward to than a classic summer moviegoing experience. Now, in order to have such an experience, certain elements were required to be in place. First off, there needed to be a certain amount of hype connected to the film (or films). Usually, a teaser trailer over the Christmas holiday was enough to get any kid pumped up. As its release nears, deciding where to see the film and who to go with was (and still is) a problematic situation. For the most satisfying overall moviegoing experience, I suggest attending its opening night with one, or two of your best mates. Keep in mind, you will need to get there real early, but the wait is worth it ... depending on the film, of course.

Seeing as I'm only 29-years-old, the following films were chosen because a) I was able to see them in the theater when they were first released and b) I specifically remember each one bringing me a classic and unforgettable summer moviegoing experience. Sure, they may not be the greatest films ever made, but I can connect each one to a different time in my life. So, what is the ultimate summer moviegoing experience? That's up to you. Here are mine ...