Before they introduced the world to Eric Cartman and friends, South Park creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone were hired by Universal to create a "training video" geared toward boosting team moral after Seagram's company bought the studio back in 1995. However, at the time, no one knew who Parker and Stone were, let alone the fact that they were complete maniacs. What followed was a hilarious (and, as far as Universal was concerned, unusable) training video starring folks like Steven Spielberg, Sylvester Stallone, James Cameron, Michael J. Fox, Demi Moore and Angela Lansbury, among others.

If you're one of those people looking for a few laughs on a crummy Monday afternoon, then this is sure to do the trick ... if only to watch Speilberg act as a tour guide traveling through the Jaws attraction. Enjoy! (Note: Due to foul language, this video is potentially NSFW.)

[via The Movie Blog]

Showgirls, perhaps the most notorious film ever to garner the highly problematic NC-17 rating, is being adapted into a stage musical by the movie's screenwriter Joe Eszterhas. Even having penned the likes of Flashdance and Basic Instinct, Eszterhas is in serious danger of Showgirls being the one film mentioned when one day someone has to write his obituary (one could understand if he chose to distance himself from the film, but not Joe). With the aid of the producers of Urinetown (check the link, I am not making that up) the musical version of Showgirls will soon be appearing on stage in, appropriately enough, Las Vegas. The opening number will be a little ditty called "Where the Hell Are My Clothes?" (OK, that one I made up).

The 1995 film tells the story of Nomi Malone (Elizabeth Berkley, in an obvious attempt to distance herself from the teeny bopper character she had played on TV's Saved By the Bell), a tempermental and frequently naked young woman who claws her way to the top of the Vegas Showgirl profession. Eszterhas is well aware of the flim's shortcomings. New York Magazine quotes him as saying, "It's a movie that I wish I'd have written differently, and I wish would have been cast differently." This new musical version "celebrates the over-the-top and campy nature of the piece."

[via TMZ]

Feel free to say I'm "out of the loop" on this whole thing, but I just read about this story today. And, for those of you who, like me, had no flipping idea who Guy Goma is or was, well, his story is fantastic. But is said story worth an entire film?

A little background: Guy Goma is a man who wanted a job. After applying to work as an accountant for the BBC, they called him in for an interview. While he was sitting in the waiting room, some producer jumped out and grabbed him, thinking Goma was Guy Kewney, editor of Newswireless.net. See, Kewney was supposed to appear on TV to talk about a court case involving Apple Computer and The Beatles' record label, Apple. Long story short: They got the wrong Guy. And, what followed was a hilarious on-air interview with a dude who had no idea what was going on, yet managed to answer the questions in a somewhat intelligent way.

Now, producer Alison Rosenzweig (Windtalkers) wants to turn the entire incident (which, apparently, garnered a ton of attention across the pond) into a movie. She's currently searching for a studio to back the project. Okay, it's got a great beginning, but there's no way this story has enough juice to carry an entire film. I'm curious: How do you Brits feel about this?

In our never-ending quest to bring you as much information about the upcoming Snakes on a Plane as possible, ladies and gentlemen, I present you with ... Snakes on a Bling!

That's right, those SOAP marketing maniacs are at it again -- this time they want you to shell out $3,900 for this lovely gold necklace adorned with sparkling diamonds. Designed by Lin Shaye, who plays someone named Grace in the film, this pricey piece of jewelry could help you become the cool kid on the block for once. Imagine showing up to that midnight SOAP screening wearing this fine bling when all your other friends have on boring Samuel L. Jackson t-shirts?

Too expensive? Perhaps you'd dig a Sterling Silver Snakes on a Plane Dog Tag? Priced at a reasonable $300, this will allow you to show all those who stand in your way that you mean business. Tell me folks, does it get any worse than this?

[via Film Rot]

Contrary to what you may be thinking after reading the title of this post, I am not talking about a film festival here. No sir, this is a straight-up, fun-loving, knee-slapping, Idaho-style festival, complete with all kinds of Napoleon Dynamite-related activities. From July 4 through July 8, folks visiting Preston, Idaho (where Napoleon Dynamite was filmed) have the chance to participate in a number of events.

Some of the activities featured are:

• A Napoleon Dynamite parade through the town of Preston.
• A Napoleon Dynamite tour with a map locating several places in which filming took place.
• Oohh, how about a special performance from The Happy Hands Club in the Preston high school auditorium?
• Think you have mad Tetherball skills? How about signing up for the Tetherball tournament?
• Folks can also check out a tater tot eating contest and a football throwing contest too.
• Finally, the festival wraps up with a Napoleon Dynamite look-a-like/moonboot dance contest.

Probably the funniest part about this festival is that, as far as I can tell, at no point do they screen the actual film they're celebrating. You'd think that would be a pre-requisite to the whole thing, right? If any of our loyal Cinematical readers was able to check out the Napoleon Dynamite festival in Preston, Idaho, do drop us a comment and let us know how it was. Personally, it looks pretty damn sweeet!

 [via The Movie Blog]

Odds and ends from Thursday:

• Damn, talk about a quick turnaround -- that Nativity film already has a teaser trailer online, as well as some behind the scenes footage. Pic, which will tell the story of Mary from a "strong female perspective" is directed by Catherine Hardwicke and stars Whale Riders' Keisha Castle-Hughes. It's not too uncommon for a film to move along this fast, though a speedy production can sometimes hinder its final outcome. Everyone involved wants this flick in theaters in time for Christ's birthday, so only then will we see if this lightning rod is any good.
• I can't stand these little pop-culture phrases that clever writers dream up, only to pollute the environment and drive me crazy. Where's Al Gore's documentary on the words Mimbo and Metrosexual? That's what I want to know. Anyway, Paramount Pictures snatched up the pitch Frenemies from writers Dwayne Stempel and Jennifer Robinson. Frenemies. Yes, that's what it's called. Wanna know what a Frenemy is? I know you do. You're dying for it. Well, the story revolves around two best girlfriends who, for one reason or another, become archenemies. Get it? A Frenemy is a friend who becomes an enemy. What will they come up with next? Just shoot me now.
• Since I'm always looking for reasons to bash Jamie Kennedy, a wonderful little story popped up today that was just too good to ignore. Seems the actor/comedian wants to become a real-life rapper. Oh yeah, and you thought Malibu's Most Wanted was just a joke. Nope, this guy is actually hoping to be the next Eminem -- he even has a record deal with plans to release his first rap album next month. Sorry folks, the only joke present here is the artist himself. Has anyone heard his music? Is it really as bad as I know it is?

UPDATED TO ADD: Yes, I know about Kennedy's TV show, however a lot of people thought it was a joke because, well, the guy does stuff like that. And so, to repeat myself, the only joke present here is the artist himself.

Odds and ends from Friday/Saturday:

• Make-up maven Stan Winston and his production company are now gearing up for their latest: Producing the horror mystery The Deaths of Ian. Pic, which will star Mike Vogel and be directed by Dario Di Piana, has a sort of Groundhog Day feel to it. Well, that's if you replace the silliness of Bill Murray with the scariness of Stan Winston, of course. Story will tell of an all American guy who is murdered, only to wake up again and find that, with each new day, comes a new kind of death.
• Now that the Dane Cook laffer Good Luck Chuck is finally on its way into production courtesy of Lionsgate, Variety reports that Jessica Alba has snagged the lead female role and will star opposite everyone's favorite comedian. Dane Cook and Jessica Alba? In love? Seems like the perfect match -- ya know, if either of them were actually good at acting. Pic will revolve around a serial dater who feels comfortable in the role of next-to-last-boyfriend-before-soulmate. However, when he actually falls in love with one of the girls (Alba), he must do everything to keep her from leaving him for a future husband.
• Since it's the weekend, I figured I would end things off with a funny, yet awfully moronic clip from YouTube. In it, some amateur actors dress up as some of your favorite superheroes to re-create the famous homo-erotic volleyball scene from Top Gun. Seeing as everyone has been obsessed with the notion that Superman may or may not be gay as of late, why not take the topic to a new level and really have fun with it? Enjoy the weekend folks!

No, this is not a joke. 26 years after Breakin' and Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo danced their way onto the scene, a third installment of the cheesy franchise appears to be heading our way.

Oh, and check this out: All three of the original stars will be returning. Break'n Revolution (Yes, I know it sounds like a piece of exercise equipment and/or a different version of Dance Dance Revolution) will bring back Turbo (Michael Chambers), Kelly (Lucinda Dickey) and Ozone (Adolfo Quinones) to act as older, wiser break-dancing mentors to a troubled young student.

The first two films were all 80's, complete with large boom boxes, colorful Michael Jackson-esque jumpsuits and horrific dialogue ("Girls are whack, man!"). I'd be curious, after so much time has passed, how they will update something that is so obviously stuck back in another decade. Perhaps the answer is found in the following sentence taken from the film's plot description on IMDB: "Though the story is intense, the real "intensity" will come from the extraordinary dance moves that can only come from "Break'n." Killer!

[via Movie Blog]

Theater chains looking to enhance the overall movie-going experience may want to follow in Japan's footsteps and bring back Smell-O-Vision. That's right folks, seven different distinct smells will accompany Terrence Malick's The New World when it's released in Tokyo next month. Since Colin Farrell stars in the film, does this mean audiences will have to endure the stench of cheap sex and cigarettes for a couple of hours?  Actually, no -- that smell is being reserved for Miami Vice.

Created by NTT Communications Corp., this version of Smell-O-Vision will not just match scents up to certain scenes. Instead, it is hoping to tap into the emotion of a scene by releasing a pleasant fragrance throughout the theater. For example: If it's a love scene, then a floral scent will roam about. In a sad scene, the smell of peppermint and rosemary will take over. Oh, and every time Colin Farrell is on screen, the smell of hot will engulf all females present. Guys, start growing a goatee.

The same company is also producing a $680 dollar home version of the scent system that can be synchronized with DVDs. Um, why would I pay that much money for something like that when I can simply spray some air freshener and get the same exact result for, like, three bucks? Do you ever think that Smell-O-Vision would fly here in the States? Better yet, throughout the world? If not, why?

 

Oh, I know you're just dying for a Snakes on a Plane update. Admit it, this is the only summer flick you're truly looking forward to. I mean, we've got snakes, a plane, Samuel L. Jackson and a title that's so bad, it has us dying to see it. Question: Has that ever happened before in the history of film? Like, ever?

According to the film's blog (Yes, this puppy has officially hit cult status), a bunch of the cast just recently returned to the set for re-shoots in an attempt to push the film from a PG-13 rating to an R. Um, did I just type that right? They are actually trying to give it an R rating? Question: Has that ever happened before in the history of film? Like, ever? Man, this one is full of surprises.

The crew member who wrote to the blog stated that these additional scenes are meant to "up the anty in previously filmed scenes and shoot additional ones." Up the ante? You have a bunch of deadly snakes released on a plane - what, did the writers decide to all of a sudden supply the reptiles with machine guns? Ooohh, I can't wait for the scene in which some cheesy couple wants to join the mile-high club, only to receive a visit from guess who. Oh, c'mon, like I'm not the only one.

[Thanks Peter]

Academy Award winner Reese Witherspoon has decided to trade in her Oscar glory for a job as a pizza delivery girl. The actress is currently in London where she's co-producing and co-starring in Penelope alongside Christina Ricci. The film itself appears to be some sort of modern day fantasy fable in which a girl (Ricci) attempts to break away from a family curse on a search for love and happiness.

With production starting later this month, Reese Witherspoon has signed up for driving lessons because, well, driving around London on a bike with pizza strapped to the back is kind of freaking her out. Here's the best part: After said lessons, our Best Actress will be tagging along with some regular old pizza delivery guy so that he can teach her the ropes.

Here's my question: Knowing Witherspoon is reportedly making upwards to $30 million for her role in Our Family Trouble, should she show up to your house with a pizza pie, do you tip her? And if so, how much? If it's less than $10 million, do you think she'd clock you over the head with a golden statue? Oh, and if there's something wrong with your pizza, would have to go through her publicist for a refund?

Okay, I will try and get through this one without dying of hysterical laughter and, although it will be tough, I owe it to you to pull through. Deep breath. Apparently, real-life lovers Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz are meeting on screen (in a non-animated way) for the first time with a romantic comedy about figure skating. Must ... contain ... sarcasm.

According to Contact Music, which quotes a studio source, "Justin is a speed-skater and Cameron is a figure-skater, and the whole thing is set at the Olympic Games in the Olympic Village. Cameron and Justin have been working on a number of ideas together and this is one they are seriously considering taking ... on themselves."

Now, in my non-professional opinion, there could only ever be one film about figure skating - The Cutting Edge. I'm positive that film is on the top ten list of 99 percent of the population, however no one will ever admit it ... except for me! C'mon, the love, the passion, the Pamchenko Twist -- all of it, brilliant! While we're not exactly sure which direction the Timblerlake/Diaz romantic comedy will go in, I'd like to officially nominate it for a Razzie right now. Ya know, if that's okay.

When you're a kid and have dreams of some day gracing the stage at the Academy Awards, often you may make a few strange and unusual bets with your friends as to what you may say should you have the chance to speak to millions of people across the globe.

Best actor front runner, Philip Seymour Hoffman, made one such bet....and it could come back to bite him in the ass. When he was 16, Hoffman, along with friends Bennett Miller (director of Capote) and Dan Futterman (writer of Capote) got a tiny bit wasted one night. Hoffman explains, "We had this friend at the time, Steven, and we all made this drunken pact that if one of us ever won the Academy Award, that we would bark the whole acceptance speech. We were very serious. Literally, we were like, 'I'll do that. I will definitely commit to that."

Now that they're all grown up and their film, Capote, may play a big role at this year's Oscar ceremony, what have the men decided to do? Well, according to Hoffman, when they met back up with their friend Steven recently, he reminded the Oscar-nominated actor that the bet was still valid...and Hoffman isn't happy. ""The thing is you can't just bark, you have to bark until they pull you off (the stage). Let's hope I don't have to get up there." Oh, what I would give to see this go down.

In what has to be some of the funniest news of the day, a group of James Bond fans have come together to boycott Casino Royale because of Daniel Craig's involvement. According to a message on their site, www.craignotbond.com, "the purpose of this site is to protest Bond producer Barbara Broccoli's questionable decision to fire popular Bond star Pierce Brosnan and replace him with an unknown actor with a penchant for oddball roles, Daniel Craig."

Why all the hate for Craig? Beside it being a bit too late for this kind of mass boycott, can't you at least give the guy a chance? As if simply asking real hardcore Bond fans to boycott wasn't enough, the folks behind the website took things a bit further - they've provided you with an angry letter to use and a ton of email addresses for folks at Sony Pictures, MGM and United Artists. Oh, and there's also a petition you can sign, which so far, has only 328 signatures.

Seems to me this looks like a project for people with a little too much time on their hands. Personally, I love the approach they're taking with Casino Royale and think the bold casting choices will breathe some new life into this series. I see no reason to attack Craig's acting before we even see him as James Bond. Yet, if he turns out to totally suck the big one, then maybe I'll swing by and sign your bogus petition. Though, right now, I can think of a million better things to do with my spare time. Thanks for the laugh.

For this news I'm going to need you to sit down and move anything sharp away from your computer screen. Done? Okay. Today it was confirmed that 20th Century Fox is planning on going ahead with a Mr. & Mrs. Smith remake, to begin production later next month.

The studio's Vice President, Mtumne Ngumwebaum (best known for a last name no one can pronounce without laughing) announced that, this time around, they're "going to do it bigger and better, with twice the budget and even hotter stars." Hotter than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie? Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.

Right now Eli Roth is being considered to direct the mammoth production and, on a personal note, we at Cinematical couldn't be happier. Heck, we're huge Roth nuts - even Martha has posters of him on her wall. If ever a film deserved a remake, it's this one...and so three cheers to Fox for pulling it off.

Note: Thanks to The Onion for the scoop.

[via Alarm!]