Hey Dad,

My children are trying to kill me! Don't tell me to relax … that's the problem. I can't. It's some kind of plot to do away with me through sleep deprivation.

What's the deal with kids wanting to sleep in their parents' bed anyway? I know all about how comforting it is, and some say it's a throwback to the womb thing, but I think it's more than that. I think it is a well-thought-through plan to exhaust and exasperate parents. After all, a tired, bleary-eyed parent is an easy-to-take-advantage-of parent.

Take last night. I'd been asleep for about three hours when I heard a thump and the pitter-patter of little feet running down the hallway. It was Abe (our two-year-old). I knew where he was headed.

He had developed a routine. He ran into our room, climbed over his mother like he was running an obstacle course, and then squirmed his stocky body between us. Seconds later he was snoring and flopping like a fish in a sack. With his leg across my back, I felt like I was sleeping on the ledge of a city building … balanced on the edge of disaster.

"That's all I can stand; I can't stand no more," I hissed. I got up, flipped his lifeless body over my shoulder like a gunnysack, and returned him to his bed.

Tick … tick … tick …

A while later, I heard the "thump-and-run." He was back.

I gave him two minutes and then took him back to bed.

On my way back to bed, I half excepted to find him lying in my spot. He wasn't but did show up again about an hour later … bless his little heart.

I was too exhausted to care and slipped into a coma, until later, when I was startled to feel his finger in my left nostril.

Like it always does, morning came and brought a new light. I rolled over and saw the perfectly still face of my little boy. He stirred, opened his eyes, and smiled a warm, "I love you" smile.

He had won … and I was tired but glad he was there beside me.

That's what being a dad is all about. We're supposed to be tired, worn out, and under-appreciated. It's a badge of fatherhood and something to be worn with honor.

So … yawn … you 'da dad,

Copyright Todd Wilson, 2004. Used by permission.
[01/21/04]

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