Pay Per View
Helping my 75-year-old mother recover from her mastectomy was made easier by Mom's upbeat attitude about the situation. "It doesn't make any difference," she told me. "No one sees me but the doctor, and I have to pay him to look."
—Connon Barclay, Zeeland, Michigan

Just Shut Up
Several years ago, our new assistant minister was delivering his first sermon to the congregation, when an elderly woman in one of the front pews shouted, "Oh, shut up!" The young preacher, taken aback, stopped mid-sentence, held on to the pulpit, and, with his mouth agape, stared at the displeased parishioner. He soon discovered that her harsh words had been directed not at him but at her squeaking hearing aid.
—Eva R. Priestley, Mt. Laurel, New Jersey

Funny Footwork
We had gathered at my pastor's house for our church's monthly leadership meeting. Assembled around the dining room table were the elders, deacons, and their spouses. I sat next to an elder who was a good friend of my husband's. My pastor's little dog loved to sit under the table and let us rub our feet on her back and belly. I had my shoes off and felt her bump me, so I happily rubbed my feet on her while the pastor talked about integrity and accountability. Suddenly, I heard a bark, and there was the dog—across the room. I threw up the tablecloth to find I had been playing footsies with the elder. "I thought it was the dog!" I blurted, as my face turned a million shades of red. "I sure wondered," said the equally embarrassed man.
—Diana Mylek, Waterville, Ohio

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