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How adventurous should your family vacation be?

Joshua Montgomery, left, learns to play a Balinese xylophone outside Ubud, Bali.

• Budget Travel: Traveling with children abroad

• GoNomad.com

• Thomson Family Adventures

• Lonely Planet Travel Forum

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(AP) -- When Lauryn Axelrod plans a vacation with her teenage son Josh, she begins with one question: What new cultural and physical experiences do I want to give my child?

Sometimes the answer includes international travel. "We took Josh one year to the Yucatan on an organized learning vacation, kayaking in a beautiful biosphere with a Mayan storyteller," she says. Other trips involve a mellower type of adventure-seeking: On a recent road trip to Key West, Florida, mother and son meandered through small towns, chatting up locals and dining on regional delicacies.

"It's an attitude toward travel," says Axelrod, of Pawlet, Vermont, who founded the adventure travel Web site GoNomad.com. "You can go to the town next door and have an adventure if you approach it that way."

Adventure vacations lack the predictability and convenience of a week at Walt Disney World. And they're not for all families all the time.

"It's great to learn something, but nowadays kids are so stressed at school and parents are so stressed that when you go away, you shouldn't feel you need to come back knowing the history of the Aztecs," says Julie Edelman, author of "The Accidental Housewife" and a commentator on family topics.

But fans of the adventurous family vacation -- from camping at Yosemite to trekking through Thailand -- say it can give kids a broader understanding of the world, as well as strength, confidence and, perhaps, a greater appreciation of the comforts of home.

The key is finding a balance between adventure and relaxation.

Some aspects to consider if you're contemplating an adventure vacation with kids:

Family time

Sometimes, a resort with kids-only activities may be just what mom and dad want. "It's important to expose your kids to certain cultural things," Edelman says, but adds, "There's nothing bad about them sitting on a beach digging a sand castle, and you kicking back reading a romantic novel and having a cool drink."

Adventure trips, on the other hand, are about togetherness. Your family might learn to sail together, or try horseback riding.

"Most of the families we're dealing with have busy schedules -- probably busier than they'd like. They want to spend time with their kids," says Jim Kackley, general manager of Thomson Family Adventures.

One middle road might be to stay at a resort with kids' activities but enroll in them for only a couple days. Spend the rest of the trip exploring the area outside the resort together.

Cost

Group lessons in sailing or horseback-riding, for example, can be expensive. But you might balance that with savings in other areas: A family sailing in the Caribbean for five days can pack sandwiches, fruit and vegetables to keep meal costs down. Camping can keep accommodation costs low for a family learning to ride horses and round up cattle at a ranch.

Going online can also reap savings. The Internet's ocean of information and booking opportunities has made even the wildest travel -- a safari in Africa or camping in Australia -- more accessible for families who can't afford expensive packaged tours. Doing online research can also get kids involved in planning the trip.

Schedule vs. serendipity

In some foreign countries, a tour company can be an enormous help. "At a lot of the destinations, you really need a ground operative to take care of the logistics," says Kackley, whose company brings families to places such as China, Tanzania and Egypt.

But a packaged tour limits spontaneity, something many adventure travelers value.

"The pace on a guided tour may not fit when your child wants to eat or nap," says Robin Goldberg, senior vice president of global marketing for the travel publisher Lonely Planet. "That ability to linger behind can be so important. If you're on the beach and your child is really interested in something, you don't want to rush to get to the next site."

Safety

Choose a destination that fits your family's needs. Costa Rica, for instance, has become a popular choice for families because it offers outdoor adventure, but also political stability, safe drinking water, familiar food and no risk of malaria. Also, flights from the United States aren't prohibitively long for families with young children.

"Knowing your kids is important, and doing things that are age-appropriate," advises Axelrod. "You're not going to take a 3-year-old to go zipping across a rainforest canopy, whereas a 12-year-old will think that's the greatest thing."

Her son has recently been trying to decide which of his experiences to draw on in writing college application essays. Riding horses across the plains of Mongolia? Hiking through the Irish countryside exploring ancient castles? Visiting a war crimes museum in Vietnam and discovering how differently Vietnamese children are taught about the conflict with his country?

Whichever he chooses, his mother believes those real-world experiences he gained on vacation were priceless.