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3/19/2005
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KLB - Everyone Should Have a Blog
I tell you, every time I vent about my job on my site, I get off the internet and I feel so much better. The blog is like having a therapist. Believe me, when you live in Korea you wish you had a therapist sometimes. That's why so many people go out and vent together. It's not that they hate it here - though some do and they should just go home - but they need a means to get it off their chests and out of their systems.
It's a conflicting existence in this country. So much to appreciate and enjoy - so much to curse and complain about. I just prefer to do my complaining online and relax and have a good time afterward - but that's just me. That's pretty much my personality though. I'll fly off the handle over something then when I'm threw, I get over it - usually 15 minutes later. Women, on the other hand - and I won't mention any names - whoa, can they ever hold a grudge!
Of course, I forsee more difficulties and frustration at my job and I don't think I'll be able to make it through until August - but who knows. The problem is that almost every teaching job here is a pain in the ass in one way or another so there's no great alternative. I guess if I'm going to be miserable, however, I may as well do it "full time" and get a salary and housing money along with it. And I'd never have to see Cathy again in my life. That will be almost as great a day as when the job in Nowhere-dong ended and I said goodbye to Windy. Like Windy, Cathy is not a bad person and I'd probably like her if I didn't have to work with her, just as I liked Windy outside of teaching her at the hagwon.
I'm seriously considering putting in my notice and taking a brief trip overseas, say for a week. I want to visit my friend who lives in Beijing anyway. I'm not sure Julie will be able to handle not seeing me use the computer and playing video games for that long though. Maybe I'll leave a cardboard cutout of myself wearing sweatpants and holding an Xbox controller. She'll never know I'm gone!
Well, it's Saturday morning. I guess I should do my best to get out there and enjoy the weekend. Looks bright and sunny. Spring is coming. I'm going to take Julie to lunch - maybe some don cass - and check out some cameras or something. Have a great weekend!
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written by shawn matthews
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3/18/2005
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KLB - I Spoke too Soon Again
I hate my job. I've been trying to convince myself it's not so bad, but it's going straight downhill again. I'm a fool for not quitting when I had the chance. Fuck.
It started today at 2:00 when I asked Cathy, "Are we definitely getting books on Monday?"
"We can talk about this later. Right now it's 2:00 and you have to start class."
"Yeah, well, I'd be happy to start class on time if we had a book, Cathy."
"I see. Can you take attendance now?"
I looked at my cell phone. 1:59. "Cathy, it's not 2:00 o'clock. We don't have to start class exactly on time like robots, you know." As usual, more than half the kids hadn't arrived yet either.
Anyway, that's the same BS I deal with everyday. Now back to the topic: books. Get a load of this. After class, to my surprise, Cathy came to my desk with copies of the teachers' books for three of the four classes. Well, great, I thought. Finally! Before handing them to me, however, she struggled (and she should have just said nothing) to explain how she got them. "You have to know Bonnie is so busy these days. I'm suffer from the stress. The other teachers [she means the other teachers' assistants] yelled at me about my ask for books for you."
"What? Who yelled? What are you talking about? You said we're getting books on Monday. I didn't ask for them."
"Because I know you want using book. If you have a book you teaching better and easier. I think so. So I ask Bonnie many times and the other teachers scolded me."
"The other teachers don't have books?"
"These days, nobody use books. Except you now."
"What? Are you kidding? What do the other teachers do every day?"
"Phonics and activities and games. I think that's good. They spend the time making good plans. But you need book, I know."
Imagine me as I sat there listening to this frustrating, insulting spiel. I've spent the last 3 months basically with no real book, teaching phonics and games and activities - and doing a great job of it I might add seeing as we got 21 new kids to sign up - all the while looking forward to finally getting some real books. The nerve of me!
Then, get this. Cathy went on to suggest that I actually call Bonnie and thank her for the books. "She's kind, I think. She's so busy but she came here today to give these to me. You are lucky. I had to come here 11:00 because of you need books."
A few months ago I may have bit my lip and shrugged this off, but these days I find myself snapping quickly and half-yelling at her. "First of all," I started, "I don't understand what you're telling me. It sounds like I'm making some big problem around here because I want a book to teach with. What kind of English program doesn't supply kids with any books? That's ridiculous! And you're the one who told me we're getting new books on Monday. I didn't know that was a problem for you. I don't get it! Why did the other teachers yell at you?"
"I asked Bonnie about the books many times. They told me Bonnie's so busy and I shouldn't ask for books. I didn't know that before."
"You know what, Cathy. I don't care that Bonnie is busy. This is her program and her job. She has to supply me with books. That's common sense. I'm tired of teaching class with no materials. We couldn't even use the damn copy machine until this week. Why do I have to thank her for giving me books? She should call and thank me for teaching with no materials." [I realize I should be telling this to Bonnie - hell, I should have called her during class time and reamed her out and then stormed out of the building into a fiery sunset].
"You should to make the curriculum and materials, the other teachers said."
"I don't care what they say. I am a part-time teacher. They are full-time. They get a salary. They get paid to go in and make games and materials. We don't. I've been doing the best I can with no books and pulling it off. You think it's OK to work for free and that's fine. You do what you want. But I'm not going to make activities, games and materials in my free time. I might if I didn't waste 3 hours a day travelling back and forth, but that's the way it is. I don't think wanting a book is an outrageous request is it? Forget it, I don't want to talk about it anymore. All I know is I have new books finally and that's good."
Seriously, she should have just given me the books and said nothing about it. To make matters worse, the books are inane. I'm not making this up. It's as if Bonnie picked the worst possible ones just to spite me. I wish to hell I had my camera to show you. Just picture full size pages with one item on each page such as a classroom object. A full page. A picture of a pencil. 50 minutes.
I tried to shrug the frustration off again, but on the way home I felt very depressed. What am I doing with my life? I love living here, but I hate teaching here. What can I do? What are my options? If only money grew on soju bottles...sigh. I found myself getting annoyed easily on the train, too. People kept bumping into me and pushing me out of the way. A group of older women, whom at one time I may have considered charming and sociable, were chattering obnoxiously loud and I almost told them to shut up. Later, on the Songnae bus, I nearly fell as the driver slammed on the breaks and wailed the horn. Finally, I passed by the health-club and it looks like the untimely remodelling will never be finished by Monday.
Lately I've decided I'm going to stop recommending people try teaching in this country. Don't come here. Don't even think about it. Read my book, the three of you who bought it, but only focus on the worst parts of my experience. That's the way it really is. There's no Island of Fantasy - so keep dreaming. Don't let it take you four years to make the realization.
Even when you love teaching the kids, as I do at my school - they are the main reason I stayed - there's so much stupid BS that ruins the experience. It's good money, sure, but it's not worth it. Not at all. Though not for everybody, living in Korea is a lot of fun. no doubt about it - especially if you have a lots of friends or a girlfriend - but teaching in Korea is an utterly horrendous ordeal. Every job I've had here has been a nightmare, now that I think about it. Even the easiest of schedules/jobs bring about the worst of stress. I think I need a break - and soon. For now, time to crack open a beer. Phew.
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written by shawn matthews
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3/16/2005
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KLB - New Class
Well, I got my new class today. It has 12 students in it. There's something about starting a new class with new kids that is inspiring. You can totally take charge and lay the groundwork for a smoothe class. I set the tone today by introducing classroom language: stand up, sit down, raise your hand, stop and listen, take out your pencil, etc. They went from running all about the room at the beginning of class to being virtual puppets of mine by the end. We finished with a fun game of Simon Says. Tomorrow I will start phonics. The rest of the new kids have been dispursed throughout the other levels. It was actually a very good day, despite having no books. I think I can manage until the end of the week anyway. Maybe I'm just in a good mood, but it dawned on me after school that I just made $110 teaching from 1-4:50 with three ten minute breaks. When you think of all the people working their fingers to the bones for a few dollars a day, I have to consider myself a lucky person. Sometimes I lose site of that and bitch and moan about the BS, but deep down I do know I'm fortunate.
Cathy, on the other hand...once again she informed me today that she slept just two hours last night. I asked why - a big mistake.
"I was at the office until 2:00 AM."
"What? Why?" [don't ask questions Shawn]
"First I had meeting. Then I had to call the parents, then do the paper work and organize and..."
I've stopped feeling any pity for her, not that I felt much to begin with. I still think she enjoys being a martyr and that she could stand up for herself if she wanted. After living with Julie so long, this "I have to do like this - I'm Korean" crap doesn't cut it with me. Learn how to be confident - or at least efficient. Why does she work 12 hours/day for a job that pays her for 3? That doesn't call for pity, admiration or respect. It's just stupid. I mean come on, she has more education than I do. She's just a few classes away from her MA degree in English Education. Assuredly she could do better. Then again, I guess she will be doing better once she gets the degree. No. I know her - she will always suffer at work no matter what job it is.
Tonight I stopped off at the grocery store downstairs in Hyundai Department Store. I wish I had my camera so I could snap some pics of the delicious meal I picked up for Julie and I: some fusion noodles and rice dish and 2 giant stuffed mandu dumplings. She should be pleasantly surprised when she comes through the door in a few minutes.
In other news, I finally beat Ninja Gaiden the other night and plan on taking a break from the Xbox - maybe. I don't have much to do these days actually. I'm not sure if I mentioned this or not, but I joined a health club. I worked out for less than two weeks, busting my butt, and then they closed down without warning for remodelling. They have been closed for nearly three weeks. So nice of them to have told me that when I signed up. And it's not because they can't speak English either - Julie was with me. Anyway, they will finally be reopening on Monday and I'm pretty sure my three month membership will renew at that time. It makes me mad though because I could have had a month under my belt by now. Now it's like starting for the first time again.
Well, Julie is just about here so I'm going to get things ready for dinner. See you soon.
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written by shawn matthews
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3/15/2005
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KLB - Seoul Magazine Interview
I forgot to follow up about the interview/photo shoot with Seoul Magazine. You can get a brief feel of what it was like here at James' site. It wasn't a lot of fun due mostly to the whipping cold, but not too bad and we all walked away with box sets of 7 Korean DVDs (photo should go here if I had a camera). A really nice set, actually.
You will see, depending on what they publish, the difference between first and third place bloggers. For example, Question 1:
"Are you a kind of celebrity in the cyber world among expatriates in Seoul?"
James:
Not a chance. [struggles desperately to recall some recognition, then:]
I occasionally meet people in bars around town who've seen this site- the conversation normally goes like this-
Bloke:"Aren't you that guy?"
Me: "It wasn't me, I was at home playing cards the entire time, you can ask anyone"
Bloke: "'Getting Lost in Seoul.com' or something right?"
Me: "Oh the website, yeah that's me- do you read it?"
Bloke: "Not really, I just look at the photos."
Me: "Oh right, so do you like..."
Bloke: "Is that Sam girl here?"
Me: *sigh*
Shawn:
"Well, it's not as bad as it was a few years ago, but I still can't walk down the street without someone shouting, 'Holy Jesus! There's that Korea Life Blog guy!' Same in Japan."
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written by shawn matthews
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KLB - The Roller Coaster of Work
OK, here you have it: yesterday, a Monday of all days, was officially the last day of our program's semester. In case you haven't been following, the school's new semester started a week and a half ago. The change in the students' school schedules seriously affected my classes. Everything has been in disarray - mixed levels, no books, students showing up 10, 20, 30 minutes late.
On Friday Cathy informed we would be having a party Monday (today) and not studying. Thank God, I thought.
So I skipped in today in high spirits, expecting a relaxing, playful day with the kids. Wrong. Cathy had prepared a small party for the end of each class and told me I had to teach until then. Great.
At exactly 2:00, when only 2 out of 6 kids had shown up, she began her, "Shawn, please take attendance," routine. [She's switched from taking it herself to telling me to do it since Connie told her it's my class and my job]. As you can imagine, this pissed me off. However, I kept my cool by telling myself things will be on track soon. I ended up reviewing for tomorrow's level test for 40 minutes.
Then again at 3:00 Cathy told me again to start the next class. This time, however, only 4 of 17 kids had arrived yet. I told Cathy we could wait a bit and to stop worrying. We have no books or materials anyway.
"No, Shawn. It's time for study," she said again. "Play a game or do something."
This time I just ignored her. I was so pissed off at her acting like she's my boss. Just to spite her, I opened the English Time book, stared at the pages and ignored her. She stood in the back, watching me like a police officer. I had all I could do to keep from blowing my top. A bit later, she took her phone and snuck out of the room. While she was gone, the students started arriving and so I started class by reviewing for the level test. Then Cathy came back and interrupted me, saying Bonnie was on the phone for me. Now picture all the kids watching me take the phone and staring as Bonnie tells me this:
"The vice principal just called me and said you are late starting class and reading a book. Actually a parent complained about it."
"Are you kidding?"
"No, are you reading a book? What's going on there?"
"Listen, I'm standing in front of the kids and trying to start class. Can this wait until after school?"
"Well, not really. This is an emergency."
"Is Cathy the vice principal? I know she just called you - I saw her!" I started getting loud and turning red. The kids were dead quiet watching me. Looking back I should have taken the phone into the hall but it was all such a shock at the time I was dumbfounded. As I got angry, Bonnie started to back down and told me not to worry and sorry to bother me, everything is fine, etc. Wtf? How ridiculous. I hung up with her and started yelling at Cathy. "What, am I stupid? What is your damn problem?"
"What? I didn't do anything wrong. She called me and said there was a problem and she wanted to talk to you."
"Whatever. If there's a problem, don't hand me the phone in front of the students. Tell her to call me after class next time."
I didn't talk to her for the rest of the day. In fact, I felt so pissed off I couldn't even teach. I just let the kids do whatever until Cathy finally started the party. Way to ruin a great day.
That was yesterday. Today things calmed down a bit because of "level testing." Can you believe this? Our program has just gotten a whopping 21 new students. Apparently I must be doing something right as a teacher, but you wouldn't know it the way everyone acts.
If you noticed, I enclosed "level testing" in quotes because all of the new students have already been assigned to a level. I got the new attendance list before the tests even began.
"Then why are we doing a level test today, Cathy?"
"We have to know what the students levels are."
"But you already planned the classes."
"Bonnie want us to do like this."
In other words, today was all a big waste of time as usual. I sat there all day doing level tests with kids who have already been placed in levels. There was a bright side though, if you can call this a bright side. Almost all of the new kids know absolutely nothing. Sounds bad, but it occurred to me that all my students had been like that at one time. I had forgotten what that was like. It was kind of funny when I was interviewing them. The new kids would stare at me blankly as I asked simple questions while my students whipped off phonics, read small passages, and answered a variety of questions with complete sentences. Yet the only feedback I get for my work is "are you reading a book and not starting class on time?"
To add insult to injury, at the end of class Cathy told me we won't be getting any books until next week. So I have 4 classes of 15 kids each to deal with and no books. I'm starting to wish I quit when I had the chance. Ugh. Teaching in Korea really sucks sometimes.
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written by shawn matthews
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KLB - I Spoke too Soon
Had a blowout with Cathy at work yesterday. I don't have time to write about it now. I just got the computer up and running and updated, etc. Yesterday it wouldn't boot up right and this computer doesn't boot into safemode the usual way. So I brought it over to the shop where I bought the computer to ask how you do it - bad mistake. They said "no problem" and told me they would fix it and to come back in a little while. Great, I thought, Unfortunately what they really meant was, "No problem, we'll reinstall Windows for you." Everything was gone. Oh well. I didn't have much on it really. Everything is on the Xbox or on DVD disks. So the computer is pretty much back to where I had it before. They did a bunch of tests too, I guess, and said everything is fine with the disk. At least that's something.
So stay tuned until later to hear about what happened at work. At least then you'll get the story and the follow up as well.
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written by shawn matthews
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3/13/2005
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KLB - First Shot
Well, it took a few days but my sister finally figured out how to use the camera (she had been using the disposable kind) and send pictures to me. Here is the first shot I got and the first time I've seen my nephew, Michael, who is named after my father. I must say he is adorable. My sister is completely excited with her new camera and I'm happy for her. It also makes me miss having one of my own. If I don't order one from the states, maybe I'll have to break down and get one from Walmart or something.
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written by shawn matthews
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