November 25, 2005

Jesus Christ Superstar in Japanese (MP3s)

Fo_sheezy_my_jeezy_1What better way to kick off Christ's month-long birthday bash than with the Japanese version of Jesus Christ Superstar? Here it is in its entirety, featuring a great Judas, a lame Pilate (a shame, since Pilate has many of the best songs), the needless knockoff song Can't We Start Again Please, inappropriate livestock sound effects and inexpicable excursions back into English.

Overture  |  Heaven On Their Minds  |  What's The Buzz  |  Everything's Alright  |  This Jesus Must Die  |  Hosanna  |  Simon Zealots - Poor Jerusalem  |  Pilate's Dream  |  The Temple  |  Everything's Alright - I Dont Know How To Love Him  |  Damned For All Time - Blood Money  |  The Last Supper  |  Gethsemane - I Only Want To Say  |  The Arrest  |  Peter's Denial  |  Pilate and Christ  |  King Herod's Song  |  Could We Start Again Please  |  Judas' Death  |  Trial Before Pilate  |  Superstar  |  Crucifixion  |  John Nineteen Forty One

If you enjoyed these, don't forget The Rocky Horror Picture Show soundtrack in Norwegian. Lots of other MP3 posts from Beware of the Blog here.

November 23, 2005

A Thanksgiving Prayer from William S. Burroughs

Burroughs3Straight from Blame-America-First World Headquarters to your hard drive, here's a Thanksgiving Day prayer from William S. Burroughs, from a video directed by Gus Van Sant (mpg video for download). In this 1986 poem, Burroughs salutes our nation of finks "where nobody is allowed to mind his own business." And he throws in a few bad words for the KKK, Prohibition and "Kill a Queer for Christ" bumper stickers for good measure.

November 19, 2005

The $4000 Dead Turkey Complaint

Woman_rifleThe FCC may have stopped fining stations for indecency, but they've never let up on another favorite area of enforcement: their rules against putting people on the air without their knowledge (the reason why all on-air phone calls start with "you're on the air").

Just in time to establish their pro-Turkey Thanksgiving stance, the FCC has fined a station in Montana $4,000 for putting a turkey-rights activist (not pictured at left) on the air without her permission. But this wasn't a morning zoo situation. The station (KZMN in Kalispell) was conducting a Thanksgiving food drive in November 2003, and they had hung a dead turkey (or a replica thereof) outside the station's studios. During a program which was soliciting pledges of food, a caller was put on the air with the host, Paul Gray. Gray dutifully told the caller that she was on the air, and she proceeded to complain about the dead turkey hanging outside KZMN's building. The trouble started when the first caller handed the phone to a co-worker, and Gray neglected to notify the caller's co-worker that she was also being broadcast. Gray told the caller's co-worker to "quit complaining, and listen to the station." She filed a complaint with the FCC, who originally fined KZMN $6,000, then lowered the fine to $4,000. Still no word on whether the turkey was real or rubber. via FMBQ

All media outlets, WFMU included, get their share of crackpots complaining about all sorts of things. Since I can't share the complaints that we receive, here is a voice-mail reeived by a TV station that had aired a program which dared to question the true nature of crop circles. MP3 for download via del.icio.us/tag/audio

November 18, 2005

Erotic Aerobics MP3s

Eroticaerobics_1I figured I would complete today's triumvirate of smut here on the FMU Blog by posting MP3s for my favorite exercise record, Erotic Aerobics. But don't get the wrong idea about this material- just because these tracks have titles like  Fan Dance or Pelvic Pleasures (mp3s), and contains lines like "Get down on all fours" and "Open your thighs wide," this ain't no collection of audio pornography. This is classy stuff! For one thing, our Aerobics Caller here is Pierre Raymonde, who is French or at least pretends to be. And French is classy, (or at least it was when this LP came out, in 1982). And Pierre's not exhorting over some cheap wikka-wikka-wikka porno music, he's using classical music! Need I say more? I will anyway. Rull yooor eeps.

Breathing Warm Ups  |  Body Manipulations  |  Kinky Chorus Kick and Flash  |

Turn And Tease Me  |  The Strippers Strut  |  Sensual Warmups  |  Pelvic Pleasures

Lover's Lunge  |  The Shameless Shake  |  Fan Dance

November 17, 2005

Tony Blair versus The Sex Pistols

Tony_blair_sex_pist_1It's sort of refreshing to see an old King Crimson fan cast as The Antichrist. The gyrating Maggie Thatchers don't hurt either. Somehow I don't this is going to be as big as JibJab. Flash animation page. via Mr. and Mrs. Wheatley, Ltd.

November 15, 2005

61 Versions of Tico Tico

No_fuba_poster_2MP3s: 61 versions of Tico Tico below the jump

Maybe the reason I keep playing single-chord songs on my show lately is because at one time, I couldn't get enough of the song Tico Tico, the tune that packs in more notes per measure than a scat singer on Dexedrine. I stumbled onto my cassette cache of Tico Tico's the other day, and without someone nearby to slap some sense into me, I ripped all of them. Then I came to the station and proceeded to find even more versions. Then I stupidly searched online and.. and...and... just go below the jump for all 61 versions.

Tico Tico was written in 1917 by Zequinha de Abreu. The song's first title was actually Tico Tico no Farelo, and in the 40's it became Tico Tico no Fuba. The song was imported to the US by Disney via their animated piece of World War Two-era Happy Latinos propaganda, "Saludos Amigos," in which Donald Duck introduces the song. That version is below. Do I want more versions? No. Unless you have the Captain Beefheart version. I gave up my Tico Tico obsession on the air years ago because I quickly discovered it was a bottomless pit of wants, desires and notes. Lots of notes. Three hour's worth (note to Kenny G: don't do it!)

Next song to get this treatement, The Internationale. It has fewer notes.

Continue reading "61 Versions of Tico Tico" »

November 14, 2005

3 Videos: Subway Car Video, Ali Snubs Bush and Al Qaeda Cartoon Outtakes

Parasite_2Here's how to turn a subway car into a film projector, using only suction cups, mirrors and a laptop. The perpetrators in this case pulled it off in Berlin. Had they tried this stunt in New York, they'd be facing charges right now. Quicktime video for download via del.icio.us/tag/video

Alibush2Last week, President Bush awarded a Presidential Medal of Freedom award to Muhammad Ali, calling The Greatest "a man of peace," and "the greatest of all time." Ali responded by making the internationally accepted "this guy's nuts" sign as Bush tied the ribbon around his neck. Windowsmedia video for download

The Family Guy started off a recent episode with a great idea - what would the outtakes from an Al Qaeda "death to infidels" video look like? Of course, it ends with Stewie kicking some Al Qaeda ass, which would never happen. If anything, Stewie would join up. Windowsmedia video for download (last two via theync.com)

The Kid From Brooklyn Speaks The Truth

Kidfrombrooklyn_2The Kid From Brooklyn is neither a kid nor is he from Brooklyn. He's a poetically foul-mouthed ticket dealer from Jersey named Mike Caracciolo, but the ticket racket's never been the right place for him. As he likes to tell people, he really oughta be an actor.

The Kid may want to be an actor, but he's found the perfect medium, taping his own video rants and posting them on his Kid From Brooklyn site. He's been at it for a few years, but he's been on a real tear lately. Since his own servers are a little on the sluggish side, I've re-posted three of his latest video rants here (nsfw):

The Importance of Telling People to Go Fuck Themselves (wmv video file)

The Big Man On How To Stop Terrorism (wmv video file)

The Big Man Introduces Mona, (Mrs. Kid From Brooklyn) (wmv video file)

via metafilter

November 12, 2005

Cleaning Out My Inbox

Mary_lou_1While visiting Brazil, Arnold displays his deep respect for local mores and customs. Quicktime Video  via del.icio.us/tag/video

Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing. via Hemaworstje

Dance moves circa 1974, via an Isley Brother's Soul Train Line. Mpg video via del.icio.us/tag/video

The ever photogenic Laura Bush. Thanks Rebecca!

Cool remix of toy instruments. via growabrain

Forget Judith Miller. What's Jayson Blair been up to? Thanks, Steinski!

Covert cameras for every use. Don't miss: 1  |  2  |  3  | Thanks again, Steinski!

Relive your (my) 7th grade drug education class! Pretty pictures | Junkie Comics. via Hemaworstje, Ethan Persoff

Using cartoon technology to teach kids to kill themselves. Iranian suicide bombing cartoon. (streaming windowsmedia video clip, via del.icio.us/tag/propaganda

In case you missed it, here's that Japanese TV game show clip of the kids with the pork chops strapped to their heads. Oh, and there's a big lizard, too: Google video, via boingboing

If World War Two had been an online game. via fazed

The infamous CIA sabotage manual from the early eighties. via flickr

Gallery of Luis Bunuel film posters.

Mary Lou (above) by Bryce (click on her!)  B/W Photos (below) from PhotoEye Galleries:

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November 11, 2005

Criswell Predicts MP3

Criswell_2For your listening and sampling pleasure, here's a 44-minute-long MP3 of the legendary Criswell predicting what he predicts best - the future, which is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives. I know that some of you will write off Criswell as another Ed Wood boy toy, but listen to the predictions he makes here, and you will be astounded by his accuracy. Among Criswell's 1970 predictions that have come to pass:

And that's just in the first few minutes of this MP3! Eventually, the great Criswell predicts the end of the world for August 18, 1999, which, unless I'm seriously mistaken, also came to pass.

Use Celery

CeleryThe latest piece of shameless propaganda from
the National Celery Board: .mov video file

November 10, 2005

Aluminum Helmets Found To Aid Fed's Access To Brains

FezSensible people have long accepted that the best way to prevent the government men from sending secret signals into your brain is by protecting your cranium with an aluminum hat. But now, four researchers at MIT have looked into the matter and have found that wearing an aluminum hat actually enhances the government's ability to access your brain's electrical system, by amplifying key frequencies which are reserved for government use.

The only sane conclusion is that the aluminum-hat theory was actually promulgated by the government itself! This means that the aluminum hats worn so prominently by Joachim Phoenix in the movie Signs amount to government-funded product placement. Article and research here. Thanks, listener Kevin!

The Family Guy's FCC Song

Stewey_toiletLast Sunday night's episode of The Family Guy was all about the FCC's (now dormant) language crackdown. It included a brief song and dance number about our favorite regulatory agency. Here's the MP3 of the song, and here's a link to the streaming video of it, via devilducky.

November 09, 2005

The Hits of 1966, With a Lisp (MP3s)

Rock_hudsonA few weeks ago, I posted 21 versions of They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha Ha, including one by Teddy and Darrel. Little did I know that the WFMU library included the entire Teddy and Darrel LP, These are The Hits, You Silly Savage, which I post here in its entirety. I found these on a collection called Queer To The Core. The original album came out in 1966, and featured Teddy and Darrel lisping and swishing their way through the hits of the day:

I'm Hungry  |  Wild Thing  |  Gary Ghoul Boy  |  Little Red Riding Hood  | 

The Hollywood Agent  |  These Boots Are Made For Walking  | 

Teddy_darrelStrangers In The Night  |  Say There  |  Hanky Panky  |

Hollywood Swings  |  They Took You Away, I'm Glad, I'm Glad  | 

Hold On, I'm Coming

Me and Takeshi Down By The Schoolyard

Psychedelic_schoolkids2Here's a video I stumbled across which seems to show Japanese schoolkids engaging in freestyling, cheerleading and consuming a large unidentified piece of meat. Get past the annoying editing, and there's plenty here to ponder, not the least of which is: why does the spasmodic catholic school girl always seem to get the better of the shirtless mohawk sporting suspender guy? Video here. (wmv file for download).  via  hemeworstje

November 07, 2005

Wealthy Geek Pays $20 Million to Wear Cartoon Helmet in Outer Space

Char_aznableDaisuke Enomoto (aka Dice-K) will soon become the fourth space tourist of all time, paying $20 Million to the extra-terrestrial travel agency Space Adventures for the privilege of spending ten fun-filled days in the International Space Station. Enomoto dreams not only of gazing down at the earth from the heavens, but to do so decked out in the costume of Char Aznable, his favorite character from the popular anime series Gundam. Enomoto is already entertaining bids from Japanese companies to build him a working red space suit based on the blond-haired, blue-eyed Char Aznable, whose name is derived from Charles Aznavour, but who is better known in the anime universe as The Red Comet.

While wearing his cartoon helmet and space epaulets, Enomoto will also be trying to convince the various ETs he encounters that he is friend, not foe. So the costume had better be good. Here is Enomoto's SETI at home page. Don't you wish you had $20 million to follow your dreams, too? Article here.

UPDATE: Listener Nick send us Char's theme song, Hori Kouichiro's Char ga Kuru (MP3)

Record Related MP3s

Sparkly_turntableAs a way of thanking everybody who came to the WFMU record fair this weekend, and also in an effor to engender cross-format peace and understanding, here are a few record-related MP3s:

John Lennon - Tower Records Ad
John does a great job as a guest DJ on Los Angeles station KHJ as he hawks Tower Records.

Althea and the Memories - Worst Record Ever Made
Kim Fowley pulled some pre-pubescent fans into the studio for the backing squeals.

Akaten - Suite USA Record Company
Atsushi Tsuyama (Acid Mothers Temple) and Tatsuya Yoshida (Ruins) provide a muscial recitation of the major record labels.

Vernon Oxford - Turn The Record Over

Tom Tall - Stack of Records

Playmates - While The Record Goes Around

Moose Jackson - Big Ten Inch Record

Dinah Washington - Record Ban Blues

Bob and Ray - Columbia Phonograph Spot

November 02, 2005

Mike Bloomberg's Cartoon Handjob

Bushbloombergad_2New York mayoral wannabe Freddy Ferrer recently released an animated campaign ad (in jibjab style) which depicts mayor Mike Bloomberg giving a cartoon handjob to Dubya. The ad is available from Ferrer's site (it's the one called "Buddies") but in the event that they take it down, I've posted it here as well (mov file for download).

What's interesting is that in the fallout from the ad, The New York Times failed to mention what made the ad so controversial in the first place. It's the cartoon handjob, stupid!

But the Times' myopia pales next to the question of what exactly constitutes a cartoon handjob. Some experts contend that the ad doesn't depict a handjob at all. In the ad, Bloomberg reaches his well-moneyed hand over to Dubya's crotch and rubs it, eliciting Dubya to grin and kick his heels. But Bloomberg's hand never actually penetrates Bush's trousers, which technically speaking, makes the act frottage, not a handjob. But different rules apply to the world of cartoon sexuality. Things have been so quiet here at the cartoon sexuality desk that all the frottage in the world would not awaken our cartoon sexuality editors from their slumber, so we may never know the answer.

For me, the most offensive part of the ad is not the handjob, but Ferrer's campaign slogan: Fernando Ferrer. He's not like Mike. He's more like you. Ferrer's slogan writers clearly owe royalties to Andy Breckman, who penned the WFMU slogan, Helping listeners like you become less like you.

November 01, 2005

Web-Only Shows and Podcasts

Steveporcaro1982_1WFMU Unshackled: With our new Fall-Winter schedule, WFMU unveiled a radical new concept - 15 hours a week of freeform programming which is aired only on the internet. (Since Nachum Segal's JM in the AM already had established it's own 24-hour-a-day webstream, we replaced JM in the AM on the freeform stream with programs that are free of the FCC's incomprehensible language restrictions. JM in the AM is still heard over the air, and online through Nachum's JM website.)

After a few false starts and technical snafus, the web-only slot is now running smoothly, from 6-9am EST Monday through Friday mornings. On Mondays, you can hear John Allen's new show, Thursdays brings you the return of the Cosmic Cowboy and on Friday mornings, Chris T returns to the phones with a three-hour edition of Communication Breakdown (you can call Chris while his show is in progress at 201-536-9368 or toll-free via the internet phone service Skype at "WFMU-FM."). On Tuesday and Thursday mornings you can hear various WFMU DJ's stretching out in the FCC-free zone with pre-recorded web-only shows. Like all WFMU shows, the morning web-only shows will be archived in both mono Realaudio and stereo MP3 formats. Thanks to Bill Zurat and John Fog for their hard work in making this innovation possible!

Podcast Update:
With our new schedule, twelve WFMU shows are available as podcasts, meaning that the MP3 archive of each new show is be delivered automatically to your computer and/or MP3 player. Returning to the podcast roster is the found-sound extravanganza The Audio Kitchen, and joining our podcast ranks for the first time is Clay Pigeon's brand new Dusty Show, an analog audio orgasm in its own right. There's more information on our Podcasts, the links you need to subscribe to these showsand instructions for getting started on our Podcast Central Page.

Next up at the geeky buffet: live WFMU streams and archives via internet-enabled cell phones and PDAs. Stay tuned...

DJ Compilation of the Month: The Incorrect Music Companion 2001

Incorrect_2001MP3s: 22 Incorrect Music artifacts below the jump.

This month's DJ compilation is the Incorrect Music Companion, a collection of Outsider Music compiled by Irwin Chusid and Michelle Boule. Irwin and Michelle did the weekly Incorrect Music hour from 1997 to 2002. You can still hear all their realaudio archives from this page. This collection was their fundraising marathon premium from the March 2001 fundraiser. It includes such Incorrect standard bearers as Mr. Snuggles (MP3), Mother Rage (MP3) as well as an early appearance by the Langley Schools Music Project (MP3). (Illustration by Michelle Boule)

Continue reading "DJ Compilation of the Month: The Incorrect Music Companion 2001" »

October 31, 2005

Remixed Halloween Safety Soundtrack

HalloweensafetyFor those of you heading out tonight to Trick and/or Treat, Listener Al presents this audio remix of an old classroom training film on Halloween safety. Don't forget, Keep Your Jokes Funny and Safe. Unsafe Jokes Are Not Funny. via artofbleeding

Kiss The Goat! Satanic Mass MP3

CovenGo ahead and Kiss The Goat. You know you want to. Go ahead. I dare you. Kiss it. I double-dog dare you.

Don't know what I'm talking about? Download this MP3 of a Satanic Mass by the band Coven. You'll never hear the phrase "Kiss The Goat" the same way again.

OK, so you'll never hear the phrase "Kiss The Goat" again at all. It's still a great Satanic Mass, as Satanic Masses go. It came out on Coven's 1970 LP Witchcraft: Destroys Minds and Reaps Souls. For years, I though that this was the same Coven who had the hit with One Tin Soldier, but apparently, that was the British Coven, and this is the American Coven. To make matters even more confusing, the American Coven included a member named Oz Ozbourne. No relation. Just Kiss The Goat and shut up.

If this Satanic Mass doesn't fulfill your Halloween quotient for evil, don't forget about my 70 minute Satanic Halloween Mix, The Horror (MP3), which also includes portion's of Coven's Satanic Mass. (Careful, it's huge - clocking in at almost 100 Megs.)

Hail Satan. Over and out.

October 30, 2005

Bizarre, Smutty Video from LTK Commune

Ltk4_2If the People's Republic of China still has military designs on Taiwan, they might want to first check out the latest video from the Taiwanese political novelty band Loh Tsui Kweh Commune (Download .mov movie file). After a visual checklist of internationally-accepted rock cliche's (devil horns, stage diving, guitar smashing, keyboard histrionics, etc), the band (also known as LTK and LTK Commune) gets down to business with the old chainsaw-up-the-butt gag. (Did I mention the video's complete absence of work-safeness?) But LTK doesn't stop there.

Ltk2_1Before finally getting down with Buddhah, the band engages in male lactation fantasies and inexplicable product-positioned prostate exams. All in all, a bizarre and wondrous Asian smutfest, full of highly entertaining imagery, much of which would be scandalous here, but which is apparently A-OK for that haven of free-speech, Taiwan. via del.icio.us/video

October 27, 2005

Sing Along With JFK MP3s

Jfk_singalong_2The assassination of John F. Kennedy may have marked the end of American innocence, but it crowned Vaughn Meader's First Family LP as the king of the cut-out bins for decades, a position it still holds to this day. What a shame that this fate was not bestowed upon George Atkins and Hank Levine's Sing Along With JFK LP instead. In 1961, Atkins and Levine took snippets of JFK's early presidential speeches, added an accordian player and a chorus, and set Camelot to music. JFK's pal Frank Sinatra was good enough to put out a small pressing of the LP on his Reprise label.

Although the same technique has been applied by others (including the George W Bush Singers), the inspiration of the Sing Along With JFK record has never been equaled, even (and especially) by Atkins and Levine's RFK/LBJ-based followup, Washington Is For The Birds.

Here are all six musical tracks from the LP Sing Along With JFK:

Begin Anew For Two  |  Let Us Begin Beguine  |  Alliance For Progress Bossa Nova
Ask Not Waltz  |  The Trumpet  |  Let The Word Go Forth

October 26, 2005

Video on History of Electronic Music

SoundhouseI never thought I'd be posting a filmstrip on the blog, but here you go: Pathways To Music, Part One: The Birth of Electronic Music (mov file for download). This is part one of the series - if you know where part two is, let me know. This installment covers "electronic" music from 400 BC to 1950, including analog techniques such as the "soundhouses" of the 17th century (pictured at right) to the glass harmonica, before finally moving along to early electronic instruments such as the Dynamophone and the Ondes Martenot. And the case is made that DJ Paul Hindemith was the first turntablist of all time, yo!
UPDATE: Here is part two (MP4 file), via GetLoFi. Thanks, Tony!

October 24, 2005

PiL on American Bandstand, 1980 (video)

Lyd1In our ongoing series of subversive American Bandstand performances, here's a video clip of Public Image, Ltd. performing Poptones and Careering on American Bandstand in May, 1980 (97 mb of mpg goodness). It's the best lip-synching I've ever seen, if you like your lip-synching honest - which is to say that John Lydon's microphone rarely comes within 18 inches of his mouth.

I'm surprise he even bothered to pick up the mic at the start of the clip. Also of note: Dick Clark confusing Jah Wobble and "Johnny" (with Lydon's able assitance), not to mention Lydon's lethargic enthusiasm in the midst of the confused disco chaos. The clip is really poor quality, as is befitting such a sarcastic performance. Now if we only had a video clip of their famous show/riot at The Ritz in 1981.

Download American Bandstand Video Clip. Thanks Listener Chad!

Step Right Up! The Art of the Sideshow Pitchman (MP3s)

MP3s: 18 spoken word tracks of sideshow pitchmen and pitchwomen below the jump.

Ward_sutton_illo_1Last August, I headed over to the New Jersey State Fair, minidisk in hand, ready to record the sideshow pitchmen and barkers I'd heard there the year before. The sideshow had a great fire-eating midget, but the pitchman mumbled a spiritless 30 second spiel, and then actually turned on a tape loop of another carnival barker. I had clearly waited a little too long to get recordings of a bonafide American pitchman.

Fortunately, the WFMU cassette library has a tape called American Talkers: The Art of the Pitchman, and I've posted all 18 tracks from it. This tape came out in the early Nineties, and even that was too late - half of these tracks are of career sideshow "talkers" who recreated their classic pitches (aka "ballys") as part of a festival at The Smithsonian Institution's American Talker's Project in 1980. But a few date from earlier than that, and all of the pitches from the early 80's are authentic, from the some of the greatest living pitchmen of the pre-war era like, Ward Hall and Fred Bloodgood.

Continue reading "Step Right Up! The Art of the Sideshow Pitchman (MP3s)" »

October 22, 2005

Spanish Version of Jack-FM: Hola "Jose!"

Bullshit_meter_200Complain about it all you want (see comments on this post and this one), but Jack FM has been so succesful that it's now expanding to the Spanish language radio market, rechristening the philosophy of "Play What We Want" as  "Toca Lo Que Quiere." Maybe my erstwhile announcer Julio can now get a job. From newradiostar:

Entravision Radio, announced today the launch of 'Jose: Toca lo que Quiere,' the first Spanish-language "Play What We Want" radio format. 'Jose,' who personifies everything heard between the music on the new format, will make his debut on Thursday, October 20th at 3:00 p.m. Pacific Time on KRCX 99.9 FM in Sacramento and at midnight, local time, on KCVR 98.9 FM in Modesto, and KCVR 1570 AM in Stockton, California, KRZY 1450 AM Albuquerque, New Mexico and KMXA 1090 AM Denver, Colorado.  'Jose: Toca lo que Quiere' (he plays what he wants) targets Hispanic adults 25-54. Featuring a mix of Spanish-language adult contemporary hits from the late 1970's to today, 'Jose' will air a wide variety of music from an array of artists, such as Los Bukis, Juan Gabriel, Los Yonics, Rocio Durcal, Los Tigres del Norte, Vicente Fernandez, Los Angeles Negros, Mijares, Alejandro Fernandez and more. "Entravision Radio leads the industry by innovating and creating new Spanish-language radio formats that are just as diverse as the U.S. Hispanic market itself," said Nestor Rocha, Vice President of Programming for Entravision Radio. "We are very excited about the launch of 'Jose' and will continue to create Spanish-language radio formats that accommodate the different tastes of groups within the U.S. Hispanic marketplace."

October 20, 2005

The Shemp Meditation Tape

ShempBack in the late 1980's as the New Age movement peaked, WFMU agonized over the fact that the station had absolutely nothing to offer the Windham Hill crowd, which was fleeing the station's membership rolls in droves. The solution was to place Dave the Spazz under house arrest until an appropriate audio solution could be assembled. The result was the Shemp Meditation Tape, which Dave described this way:

Recommended for new age nitwits and chucklefucks alike....scientifically mixed in Shemp-A-Rama for your enlightened casaba-banging pleasure.... Soar the Horwitz heavens and become one with Shemp's karma on the Heee Beee Beee Beee side... transhempify your mind and cook your chakras on the life-infirming Ahh Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha side.

The Shemp Meditation Tape went on to become the top selling item in WFMU's well intentioned but fatally flawed Catalog of Curiosities, which was in business from 1993-1997.

Heee Beee Beee Beee side (MP3)
Ahh Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha side (MP3)

(Produced under armed guard for WFMU by Mahavishnu Dave Thespazzyrama in the palatial Spazzintologist Compound.)

Bathtime in Clerkenwell MP3 and Video

Real_tuesday_weld3Everytime I play the song Bathtime in Clerkenwell (MP3) on the air, I get calls and e-mails about it. It's by the band (The Real) Tuesday Weld, from the soundtrack to the book I, Lucifer by Glen Duncan. I haven't read the book, but the soundtrack is great. As is this cool black and white animated video of the song (wmv video file), by Alex Budovsky, which apparently won the best animated short award at Sundance last year.

October 18, 2005

Prince on American Bandstand, 1980 (video)

Prince_1Here's a fairly gigantic video clip of Prince lip-synching on American Bandstand in early 1980, after the release of his second LP Prince (mpg file, 94mb!). The lip-synching, crotch grabbing and dancing are all well and good (and impermissible in today's broadcast environment), but the best parts are Dick Clark's attempted interviews with His Majesty. Prince exudes total indifference to Clark and to this, his first big national moment.

via del.icio.us/tag/video

October 17, 2005

In Praise of Gibberish

GibberishHere's an idiotic and hilarious video clip about the joys of gibberish, and the power of peer pressure. via Hemaworstje via catmanandmary

October 16, 2005

Victoria Reveals The Truth About Young Hae-Chang Heavy Industries and Jim Morrison

Hae_chang_1Here's a piece of flash art by "Victoria," who identifies herself not only as the brains behind the South Korean net art duo Young Hae-Chang Heavy Industries, but also as the electronic reincarnation of The Lizard King. Shades of both 386DX and Rene's "I Am The Best Artist." Thanks Listener Charles!

October 14, 2005

The Dirty Mac doing "Yer Blues" at The Rock and Roll Circus

Dirty_mac_2Here's a video clip (mpg file for download) of John Lennon, Eric Clapton, Keith Richards and Mitch Mitchell (Jimi Hendrix Experience) performing under the name Dirty Mac as part of the Rolling Stone's 1968 TV special, Rock and Roll Circus.

After an unfunny Mick Jagger (doing a lame American accent) interviews an amusing John Lennon, the impromptu supergroup launches into a version of Yer Blues that makes the White Album version sound lame and hollow. This was the first time Beatle John had performed in public without John_and_mickThe Beatles, and fortunately audio and video were on hand to preserve a great performance, with Keith on bass, Clapton on guitar, Mitchell on drums and Yoko mercifully crawling into an un-mic'ed black elastic bag. Apparently on other songs that day, Yoko provided her customary caterwauling. (If it's Yoko caterwauling on TV behind Lennon you want, see The Professor's post about the Mike Douglas show performance that made Chuck Berry's eyes roll.

via del.icio.us/tag/video

October 13, 2005

The Secret of Lil' Markie Revealed

Lilmarkie_bigVideo: Quicktime file of Large Happy Man holding Lil' Markie captive inside his body.
MP3s: 17 Lil' Markie tracks below the jump.

Listeners to Kenny G's show or Irwin's old show Incorrect Music may recall the pleadings of a certain helium induced duck-child named Lil' Markie, as he begged his mother not to abort him (Diary of An Unborn Child MP3), or his drunken Daddy not to feel so bad about killing him (Story of An Alcoholic Father MP3). As bizarre Christian Kiddy records go, the Lil' Markie material stands alone.

But something never felt right to me about Lil' Markie. For one thing, he looked human, but he sounded suspiciously like a puppet. But there were no strings to be found. From the sound of it, Markie carried himself like a well respected leader of the  Christian Puppet community, but unlike Lil' Joey, Lil' Harry or Lil' Jackie, not only were there no strings, there were no hands up the back, no hinged dummy-jaws. Nothing to suggest puppetry. It didn't make sense. To my mind, the helium duck-child voice was not of human origin.

Now at last, the mystery is solved. The other day on the Bomarr blog, this video surfaced (Quicktime file). In it, you will see video footage of a Large, Happy Man singing the Large_happy_manpraises of Jesus. But that's not the strange thing. About halfway through the video, the voice of Lil' Markie emerges from The Large Happy Man.

This is visual proof that The Large, Happy Man swallowed Lil' Markie whole and is now exploiting him on tours of churches around the United States!! When Lil' Markie sang Use Me (MP3), he didn't mean this! The actual identity of the Large Happy Man has not been verified, but he claims to be one Mark Fox.

Ignore Mark Fox's preposterous claims and jump below the fold for Otis Fodder's MP3 collection of Lil' Markie tracks, plus other Lil' Markie links. Thanks to Otis, Bomarr, and Pea Hicks.

Continue reading "The Secret of Lil' Markie Revealed" »

October 12, 2005

Fun Video Clip of Reg Kehoe and The Marimba Queens

Marimba2_1Here's a great video clip of Reg Kehoe and His Marimba Queens, performing sometime in the early 1940's: big MP4 file | small MP4 file (click to download files). Here's the page on archive.org that this came from. There's more versions of it and info over there. Thanks to Carrie from Stay Free for alerting me to this little wonder.

This band apparently performed at the start and end of the vacation season in Hershey, Pennsylvania every year. The clip here came from a PBS show Matinee At The Bijou. A fuller version of this segment was made available to the public originally as a "soundie," a film reel that played inside a video jukebox of the day called a Panoram, a precursor to the Scopitone.

Marimba3The bass player is a guy named Frank Denunzio, and he gets my nomination for the upright bass player hall of fame, for his visual antics alone. And then there are the wonderful Marimba Queens. Sigh.

All in all, a real delight of a clip. Maybe I'll rip and post a batch of tracks from other marimba bands.

Thanks Carrie!

October 10, 2005

I'm A Genius, Too! The Murry Wilson Tapes

MP3s: The Beach Boys Help Me Ronda Sessions - Full Version | Edited version
Flash Animations: Peter Bagge's Murry Wilson: Rock and Roll Dad - 1 | 2 | 3 | 4

Murry1_1January 8, 1965: The Beach Boys enter the studio to record what will become their second number one hit, Help Me Rhonda. Well into the session, a drunken Murry Wilson (Brian, Carl and Dennis' Dad) arrives and proceeds to commandeer the session with psychodrama, scat singing and weepy, abusive melodrama.

The session tape captured it all, and versions of these tapes have been floating around bootlegs for years. The fact that the tapes survived is itself surprising - you can hear Brian and Murry fighting over the tape recorder controls at the 35:30 mark of the full version, Murry wanting to stop the recording, with Brian ultimately keeping the tape rolling. And it's a good thing that Brian won out, because this audio verifies many of the Murry Wilson horror stories described in the Steven Gaines book, Heroes and Villains: The True Story of The Beach Boys.

Here's the full 40 minute version of the Help Me Ronda sessions for you completionists: (MP3), and here's a twelve minute edit I did for other attention-challenged people such as myself: (MP3). Recently, Listener Jeff alerted me to Peter Bagge's four-part animated Murry Wilson flash series, which Icebox put out in 2001. Here are all four installments as Shockwave 3.0 files: Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Listening back to the full Help Me Ronda sessions again, I'm struck by how sane Brian sounds when compared to Murry, and how mature and patient he is for a 22 old standing up to his abusive, alcoholic father. After listening in on this session, It's easy to see why the Beach Boys eventually purchased Murry a fake audio console for their sessions, so he could twiddle knobs to his heart's delight without destroying anything.

Continue reading "I'm A Genius, Too! The Murry Wilson Tapes" »

Cleaning Out My Inbox

Applause_2Animations of plantlife gone berserk. All this video needs in Werner Herzog intoning about the chaos of nature and it would be complete. via fazed

From the makers of the above, it's a dream come true: robots harrassing pigeons in the east village. (Click on the 2nd video down on the right.)

When Flying Dogs Attack. via peremeny

The secrets of Bohemian Grove, gathering place of powerful, fat, naked men.

Listener Wendy's home in the hills.

Oh_bondage_2Devendra Banhart goes to great lengths to ensure that he wont be a Starbucks poster boy (video).

The Japanese Gallery of Psychiatric Art.

In May, I wrote about the art of free running, aka Le Parkour. Here's a new free running video making the rounds (windows media file).

Eight, count 'em, eight galleries of bathroom graffitti.

A new video from Jason Forrest / Donna Summer: War Photographer (Quicktime file)

1041056977nudepengins7620pingpongnativesWhere_she_died





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October 08, 2005

I, For One, Welcome General Zod

ZodportraitAs much as I would like to throw WFMU's political weight behind the candidacy of Christopher Walken, it is impossible to do so at this time. WFMU heartily welcomes General Zod to our beautiful planet, and we endorse his candidacy for the 2008 Presidential Election.
via Irwin

Operation Care About Colored People

ColemanPresident Bush has chosen his mother and William Bennett to head up a new racial sensitivity initiative, to be known as "Operation Care About Colored People."

Last month, William Bennett stated on his syndicated radio show, "If you wanted to reduce crime, you could -- if that were your sole purpose -- you could abort every black baby in this country and your
crime rate would go down."

On September 5th, former first lady Barbara Bush said in a radio interview regarding the hurricane evacuees in the Houston Astrodome, "So many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

These statements were the basis for the president's decision to choose the two to lead the racial sensitivity initiative, according to White House Press Secretary, Scott McClellan, who answered critics during a press conference.

The initiative will utilize public service announcements, print advertisements and radio ads featuring Mrs. Bush and Bennett, who will talk about their own experiences with racial sensitivity and how racism has effected their lives in a Fox News special, hosted by former child star and Cashcall pitchman, Gary
Coleman.

Asked about the president's new racial sensitivity initiative, Coleman said, "I think it's a great place to borrow money."

via poppycaca (satire)

October 07, 2005

Our Millionth Hit!

Millionth_1Sometime in the last few hours, Beware of the Blog had it's one millionth hit!

If you were the millionth person to check us out, step forward and collect your free toaster. We're working on an honor system here people, so no false claims please. The toaster emits sparks while toasting, but other than that, it works really well.

Seriously, thanks to all of our authors, readers and commenters for helping us reach this milestone.

Here are MP3s of ten "million" songs as a way of showing our gratitude:

William S Burroughs - Millions of Images
The Homosexuals - A Million Keys
The Runaways - I'm A Million
The Raincoats - You're A Million
Public Enemy - One Million Bottlebags
Claude King - A Million Mistakes
Bel Larks - A Million And One Dreams
Jawbreaker - Million
National Lampoon - Land A Million
XTC - Millions

October 06, 2005

Little Steven Versus The Fucking Pussies

Little_stevenThis via Irwin: Little Steven's keynote address at the Radio and Records 2005 Convention.

Date: Thursday, July 23, 2005
Place: Renaissance Hotel, Cleveland, Ohio
Audience: 250 Program Directors

Fred Jacobs introduces a four-minute video bio. At its conclusion, the Dovells' You Can't Sit Down explodes from the speakers as five Go-Go girls come out of the wings surrounding Fred, much to his discomfort. Little Steven enters to thunderous applause. He cuts off the music with a wave of his hand, leans into the microphone and says "Ladies and Gentlemen, Fred Jacobs."

The music returns as the girls exit. A stunned audience applauds wildly as Fred, very uncharacteristically, dances off with them.

Little Steven: Well that was worth the price of admission alone. (more applause and laughter... Steven paces with the hand held mic for a minute, and then. . . )

"I Love Radio! (applause once again erupts) And I feel nothing but love in this room because as I look around, I see only two kinds of people. Our beloved affiliates . . . and future affiliates. (laughter) So no matter what happens in this next half hour, remember what I just said. It's just family talking. And without any further disclaimers let me ask the only important question that is on my mind, and I'm sure you've been thinking about it also, especially lately.

(pause)

When Did The Fucking Pussies Take Over?

(applause and laughter)

When? Don't you look forward to the day when your grandson is on your knee and he looks up and says, "Grampa weren't you in radio once?"

Continue reading "Little Steven Versus The Fucking Pussies" »

October 04, 2005

The Horror Compilation (MP3)

Skull4As a special Halloween treat, here's a seventy minute long horror music mix I put together for the 2001 WFMU marathon, culled from years of Halloween specials on my Wednesday morning show. When the big day comes, throw a speaker out on the front porch, hook it up to your MP3 player and set it on repeat, this'll keep those satanic dilletantes at bay. Careful though, it's a ginormous download, clocking in at a whopping 97 megs. Download The Horror.

Artists on the mix include: Krzysztof Komeda, Wojciech Kilar, Krzysztof Penderecki, Jaap Blonk, Albanian Men's Choir, John Cale, Dick Jacobs Orchestra, Jerry Goldsmith, Theatre of Tragedy, Barnabas Collins, Endvra, Elend, Coven, Daniel Licht and others. For more info, go here.

September 28, 2005

Van Morrison's Contractual Obligation Album

Van_morrisonMP3s: 31 improvised songs from Van Morrison's Bang Records Contractual Obligation Session, below the jump.

In the great pantheon of contractual obligation records, there is the noisy (Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music), the brassy (Neil Young's This Note's For You) and the phony (Monty Python's Contractual Obligation Record).

And then there is Van Morrison's Bang Records Sessions.

In order to fulfill his obligation to his early solo label Bang Records,Van Morrison sat down in 1967 or so and cranked out 31 songs on the spot, on topics ranging from ringworm to wanting a danish, to hating his record label and a guy named George. Make sure you get past the first few tunes - it takes him a few to get cooking.

Listener Scott S, who originally brought the tapes to our attention in 2001, wrote:

As far as I know, none of this stuff was ever issued in the '60's. I can only surmise at some point in the early '90's, whoever controlled Van's Bang masters ran across the tapes and - either having questionable ethics and/or a twisted sense of humor - licensed the tapes to European labels that were releasing compilations of Van's Bang-era material. I know of at least two double-CD sets that include demo stuff as the second disc - one is Payin' Dues on Charly in 1994, and the other is New York Sessions '67. WIll Rigby told me that he saw a single-disc best-of that actually mixes legit Bang-era Morrison tracks with material from the demos - now that must be an interesting listen. I guess there's irony in the fact that Morrison recorded these tunes as a big fuck-you to his label - before he signed to Warner and recorded Astral Weeks - yet ultimately the joke's on him, now that they're being packaged as legitimate tracks (on "best-of" collections, no less).

Continue reading "Van Morrison's Contractual Obligation Album" »

September 26, 2005

Radio Cheesecake

Coquette_1 Pool_1 Table_3_3

  Stepping_high_1_1 Leg1_2_1 Leg2_2_1
Once upon a time, radio was sexy. As were zaftig figures, checkered shorts and the Stepping High Dance. From the online archives of the Los Angeles Public Library. Thanks, Mr. Science!

September 25, 2005

Emergency Alert System Warning on Katrina

Santorum_tongue_editI've spent more than my fair share of airtime complaining about the uselessness of the Emergency Alert System - how it wasn't activated on 9/11, or the time it accidentally ordered a one-hour evacuation of the entire state of Connecticut, or how it failed to suggest any course of action (or even mention the word "flood") when the Delaware River swamped towns in Pennsylvania and New Jersey last spring.

But you have to hand it to the EAS' partners at the National Weather Service for their warning on Hurricane Katrina. As the storm headed into the mainland, the agency offered this assesment to broadcasters in three states:

"Most of the area will be uninhabitable for weeks, perhaps longer. At least one half of well constructed homes will have roof and wall failure. All gabled roofs will fail leaving homes severely damaged or destroyed. The majority of industrial buildings will become non-functional. Partial to complete wall and roof failures is expected. All wood-framed, low-rising apartment buildings will sustain major damage, including some wall and roof failure. High-rise office and apartment buildings will sway dangerously... a few to the point of total collapse. All windows will blow out. Airborne debris will be widespread. Power outages will last for weeks as most power poles will be down and transformers destroyed. Water shortages will make human suffering incredible by modern standards. Preparations for evacuations and relief should be rushed to completion."

The message is a rare glimmer of government competence in the sea of ineptitude that Katrina and its aftermath became.

Alas, that is not how Senator Rick Santorum saw it. Santorum introduced legislation (Senate Bill 786) which would make it illegal for the National Weather Service to issue such warnings, putting control of weather forecasts solely into the hands of private companies like Pennsylvania-based AccuWeather, which just happens to be a Santorum donor.

September 24, 2005

21 Variations on "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-haa!"

NapoleoncomplexMy earliest memories of playing with records were sticking my head up to my parent's phonograph cabinet and listening over and over again to the end of the Strawberry Fields Forever single for the faint "I Buried Paul," and similarly burning out the grooves on the backwards B-side of Napolean XIV's They're Coming To Take Me Away.

Paul is still dead, but imagine my joy 39 years later when we received Napolean Complex, a collection of 21 international versions of Napolean XIV's 1966 hit single. Being a sucker for German, my favorite is Malepartus II's version, but it's hard to resist Rose Brooks when she sings "You Thought I'd Go Buhzoik?" And then there's Lard's impressive extended version. Download and enjoy them all.

Napoleon XIV - They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-haaa!

Josephine XV - I'm Happy They Took You Away, Ha-haaa!

Henry The IX - Don't Take Me Back Oh-nooo!

Continue reading "21 Variations on "They're Coming To Take Me Away, Ha-haa!"" »

September 22, 2005

Toilet Huffing. Very Big In Germany.

Toilet_huffing_1This one is Bryce's fault.

When I first saw it, I immediately assumed the worst - that our German friends are inhaling teutonic sewer gas to get off.

A quick trip to babelfish's translation page was little help. But it did turn up such linguistic nuggets as this:

In the offer inventions are like the Klo Atmer, the wiedergeburt, or the fish head roof impact device.

Finally, a translated paragraph shed light on the mystery: in the event that you cant escape from a smoke filled building, you stick a tube into the toilet and inhale the rancid (but smoke free) sewer gas. Or as babelfish put it:

The fresh air equipment of the Kaliforniers William of cross-beam is to save with fire in smoked dwellings the life to humans. According to cross-beam must they in addition only a hose into a toilet insert and the "fresh air" deeply existing in the tubing system inhale.

Great idea, now that I understand it. Sewer air is better than no air at all. I will add a rubber tube to my stale cache of duct tape and plastic sheeting.

September 20, 2005

Bingo Gazingo Serenading Kenny G

Kennyg1_1If you're wondering what Bingo Gazingo's been up to since WFMU released him from contract, check out this animated video of the septuagenarian ranter's song Kenny G, with backing from My Robot Friend.

September 19, 2005

Kanye West Video Mashup

Black_lanternFrom the mouth of Steinski: I dunno whether Kanye was right about George Bush and black people, but I love it that someone turned his interview into a mashup, and someone else turned the mashup into a video, all in like a week.
Black Lantern siteQuicktime video download

Vintage Beatnik Poetry MP3s from Cafe Bizarre

Beatgen_1I really should have posted these the day that Maynard G Krebs passed away, but I was asleep at the bongoes that day. So here are a batch of spoken word tracks recorded at Greenwich Village's Cafe Bizarre, long before "Beat" became a parody of itself.

And while we're at it, have a look at a documentary on the Greenwich Village scene, narrated by Jean Shepherd. (via the Internet Archive)

The MP3s from Greenwich Village's Cafe Bizarre Presents Assorted Madness start after the jump:

Continue reading "Vintage Beatnik Poetry MP3s from Cafe Bizarre" »

September 17, 2005

Shoe Bomber..or Parasitic Humanoid?

Parasitic_shoeSure, you can laugh at the Parasitic Humanoid, but the next time a silent Toyota Prius is sneaking up behind you and your Parasitic Humanoid buddy, who'll jump out of the way in time - you, or the parasite?

I think you know the answer.

But Parasitic Humanoid can do more than avoid oncoming cars from behind, unconsciously-like! Much more. You know you're dying for a behavioral interface that can capture and retrieve your own behavior, you're just too embarrased to ask for it! You want a limbic resemblizer that's edgy, yet sensitive to galvanic vestibular stimulation? Just don your Parasitic Humanoid Lover!

Capture and retrieve your best behavior and steal your Parasitic Humanoid's prettiest fingernail sensors. When you play golf, you may want to capture and retrieve your best shot and use it again and again. Otherwise, feel free to download the data of the swing from the Parasitic Humanoid of Tiger Woods. You may exchange data for dance steps like name cards in a ballroom. (Fig.15).

September 15, 2005

WWOZ Update 4: We Begin To Emerge

French_quarterIn his fourth and possibly his final post, WWOZ General Manager David Freedman (no relation) makes his way back into New Orleans, puts FEMA on his speed dial, inspects his transmitter (it's OK!) and starts to make sense of how to put his broken station and scattered staff back together again. Along the way, he wonders about the future of the "northern capital of the Caribbean." David's previous posts are here.

It is 3 AM Thursday, September 15. I am writing this as I sit in my new apartment in Baton Rouge (4th location, 4th blog, 10th day out). I am thinking back on last Tuesday. Just two days ago. It seems so far away.

I had finally figured out how to re-enter New Orleans legit. As they finished announcing a phone number on the radio, I began dialing it. Never mind that it was 8 PM, the Mayor was no longer blocking passage to New Orleans. He was allowing any businessman with a legitimate business reason to get a pass to enter the city. Just call this number and get a pass to the city.

My cause was certainly legit. I needed to go in to inspect the WWOZ tower and transmitter. If those parts of the broadcast chain were OK, WWOZ could possibly get on the air from New Orleans a lot more quickly than we had thought. We wouldn't have to wait for replacement equipment. We wouldn't have to set up a temporary tower somewhere out of the city. It would cost less and be quicker. That was certainly a legitimate business reason.

Continue reading "WWOZ Update 4: We Begin To Emerge" »

September 14, 2005

Videos: Soulwax, Sun Ra, Pink Floyd, Joy Division and a Cheesy Euro Disco Instructor

Here's a batch of videos, and not a single one has anything to do with Katrina!  All these videos must be downloaded before viewing. (For Katrina videos, go here.)

SoulwaxFirst off, the most recent video, NY Excuse by Soulwax, aka 2 Many DJs, celebrating trash and culture, not necessarily in that order. Or is it a culture of trash? The archival footage is nicely done, as is the Barbara Kruger-esque agit-prop. Download video (Windows Media file)

Pink_elephantsHere is a video mashup of Pink Elephants On Parade, with music by Sun Ra and the visuals from the movie Dumbo. The Sun ra tune originally appeared on Hal Wilner's Disney tribute LP. I saw the Arkestra perform this at The Bottom Line shortly before Sun Ra dies, and they played it as they paraded around the club. Download video (Quicktime video)

Disco_lesson_1For many Cheesy Euro-Disco aficionados, merely watching the sensual gyrations of Dschingis Khan or Tommy Seeland does not suffice. Action is needed, but can the Cheesy Euro Disco moves actually be learned, or are these abilities genetically inbred? Unfortunately, the moved can be learned, and here is a video to prove it. Download video (mpeg file) More Cheesy Euro Disco links here. And yes, "Cheesy Euro Disco" is now one of the most popular search strings bringing people to this blog.

Syd_1Here is a video of Syd Barrett and Pink Floyd performing Jugband Blues, sort of his farewell song from their album Saucerful of Secrets. Not sure where this came from, but it's clearly been transferred from film. The sounds is good, but why does that sousaphone sound like a kazoo? Actually, the horn moments appear to be spliced in, and the rest of the film seems to include an actual performance. Download video (mpeg file)

Joy_division_1Before your mental image of Ian Curtis is forever destroyed by Jude Law's portrayal of him in the forthcoming Joy Division movie, have a look at the real item performing She's Lost Control. Download video (realvideo file). And before your mental image of Iggy is sullied by Elijah Wood's portryal of him, have a look back at the young Iggy performing and rubbing peanut butter all over himself in Cincinatti, ca. 1970.
 

 

September 12, 2005

Gonadically Speaking, R Shand is The Embalmanization of The Rap Game

RshandU Wanna Be A Grip?

"Listen, learn & comprehend the sheer joyfultudinal sounds as R Shand raps about the eggstimatic joy of being a grip."

"It's raw, uncut, & Bangin G ! Dang...if Shand woulda gone to those classes, his flow mighta been too refineded & sonically correct....and that ain't what's happening in New School."

"Euphemistically speaking, the aural flatulence of his thrombamatic sounds will discombobulate the senses."

"No one has ever quite captured this fecal bliss quite like one R Shand."

"His flow is better than Fitty Sense, he conjures up Nastonian sounds out the Ying Yang twins!"

"Not even Kanye can flow quit like R Shand & gonadically speaking, he is the embalmanization of the Rap game."

"R Shand has bought a bubonic smile to my face like the plague & he has given me esteferic hope for the future of Rap."

"We have seen the future of Hip Hop/R&B & he is called R Shand."

"U Wanna Be a Grip takes rap to a new level! I was taken into a world of rhymes spit out at micro speed and hydro proximate lucidity. These rhymes grip you and send you into spasmatic convulsions of the cranial cortex. I felt so gripped, and no one can gripe about his spitability!!! In other words the boy be baaad..... Thank You R. Shand, I'm gripped and ripped and you are so hip!!!"

"Songs like this need to be on the radio because I get tired of hearing 50 Cent, The Game, and Kanye West talking trash when you have undiscovered talent waiting in the wings like R. Shand!!! He makes me want to become a grip. Thanks for music that will outlast what's hot right now, R. Shand!!! BUY THIS!!!!!!"

Blame should go to Otis Fodder and even more blame to Phil Milstein.

September 11, 2005

WWOZ Update Three: Saving The Record Library

Hole_in_roofHere's another update from David Freedman from the streets of New Orleans. David is General Manager of WWOZ, the great community station of New Orleans. WWOZ's studios and record library were spared severe damage in Katrina and only suffered moderate flooding and no looting. But in recent days, David's been struggling to protect WWOZ's record library and equipment from being destroyed by subsequent rains - Katrina left OZ's studios and library exposed to the elements.

David also discovered that the WWOZ broadcast tower was in fact severely damaged, contrary to their first observations from a distance. In the course of dealing with these issues, David observed pockets of normalcy in New Orleans next to armed checkpoints, and he also reports on the non-state of forced evacuations.

First, a recent story from the New Orleans Times-Picayune, followed by David's update.

Times-Picayune - Saturday, September 10, 2005

Roof damage threatens priceless WWOZ record collection

By Dave Walker
TV columnist

The studio equipment and irreplaceable record and CD collection at noncommercial WWOZ 90.7 FM, the public radio outlet that beamed New Orleans music and culture to the region and, via the Internet, the world - survived Hurricane Katrina but might not survive the city's current lockdown.

Continue reading "WWOZ Update Three: Saving The Record Library" »

September 10, 2005

Batch of Katrina Videos

Cnn_weathermanI long to care about Silly Bullshit again.

Every once in a while, I hear the faint sound of Silly Bullshit calling my name throught the pines.. "ken... keennnn.." I turn my head towards the voice, but it is gone. Just the wind blowing through the non-existent pines. No Silly Bullshit.

I thought I was close to getting back to the Silly Bullshit today, when I looked at this video by Katrina evacuee Charmain Neville, who is indeed related to Art and Aaron.

After you've taken a look at that, download this Blame Game video (quicktime file). It includes the now-famous "Fuck Yourself, Mister Cheney" clip. But of far greater interest is the ever-eloquent Bill O'Reilly, who equates stranded hurricane victims with drug addicts, and finds the silver lining which we all missed.

But I agree. It is too early for playing The Blame Game. Now is the time for tarring and feathering those responsible, without casting aspersions.

Here is the video (quicktime file) of that genius, Wolf Blitzer, referring to the residents of The Big Easy as "so poor... so black." Who is dumber, Wolf Blitzer or Larry King?

Before the hurricane even hit, this CNN weatherman (windows video file) proved himself to be The King Of The Hissy Fit. And this New Orleans resident (quicktime file) correctly told a Fox reporter to fuck off. But who's laughing now?

Finally, here is the repaired (but still FCC-Unfriendly)  version of the Kanye West Goldiggers remix,  George Bush Dont Like Black People (MP3). via FWMJ via boingboing

I hope to return tomorrow with more videos, this time of Silly Bullshit.

Other videos via del.icio.us/tag/system:media:video

September 09, 2005

Update on WWOZ, New Orleans

WwozHere's the latest from WWOZ General Manager David Freedman, who managed to get back into New Orleans to inspect the station's damage.

Below is a report of my first hand inspection of our facilities in New Orleans and some of our options:

Damond Jacob (our Chief Engineer) and I, along with Robert Carroll and Ron Curtis, Chief Engineer and Operations Manager of WWNO, entered the city by night (Wednesday) and stayed on the outskirts at the home of a friend who happens to be a sherrif's deputy and who also happens to have electricity and running water! His house had flooded, and the floor boards were buckling.It smelled moldy and felt dank. Outside, 50 pounds of rotting shrimp from his freezer added quite a heady aroma.

He had food and bottled water. Indeed, the next morning we were able to purchase groceries at a neighborhood CVS pharamcy. This might have been the only place in New Orleans where this was possible, and only because it was on the outermost perimeter of the city. There were no groceries or convenience stores once we were in the city proper-- just pallets of MRE's.  We drove over to the west bank Wednesday night to inspect WWNO's tower facility. There was about 250 feet of transmission line wrapped around a guy wire. Otherwise, everything seemed to be in shape.

Continue reading "Update on WWOZ, New Orleans" »

9/11 On The Air

Wolverton04_2If you missed it, last night's episode of Aircheck was incredible. It's an hour of 9/11 radio coverage from live news/talk stations in New York City. The archives are up here: Streaming Realaudio | Streaming MP3.

Hearing this coverage brings back the confusion and chaos of that day four years ago, and it also puts into perspective the current coverage of Katrina and the storm's aftermath.

You'll hear all the rumors and spreculation (some right, most wrong) as they fall off the presses and off the lips of announcers at WOR, WABC, WCBS-AM and other New York City stations. A propeller plane has hit the South Tower. The FBI announces that the attack was NOT terrorism. The left half of the south tower has collapsed.

Great editing job to Evan for this episodem and to Brian for the great Aircheck Series, and hats off to The Professor for capturing all this when it happened.

September 07, 2005

I'm A Work-Is-Shit Anarchist, and I Approve This Message

ArbeitCheck out this amazing political ad from the German Anarchist Pogo Party: Link (mp4 video file for download). Instead of the usual empty political promises, the party's campaign spot splices together scenes of debauched revellers smashing furniture, children playing with axes, and groups of couples kissing and groping each other. The best part is that the Hamburg-based group gets national airtime for free, due to German campaign laws, and despite some outrage over the spot, it will continue to air nationally. Here's a link to the German Anarchist Pogo Party website, and here's the Reuters story on them. Thanks Bill Z!

September 05, 2005

Report From WWOZ New Orleans General Manager

Vintage_crescentI've been helping David Freedman (no relation), the Manager of WWOZ New Orleans as he works his way to the outskirts of New Orleans and locates and assembles his staff. Here is an e-mail he asked me to post on the WWOZ website. I'm posting it here because it's of great interest to fans of radio or New Orleans, and I dont know how to post larger items like this on the WWOZ site, where I've been helping out as well. Their webmaster is temporarily offline, so I'm posting here, and linking to it from the WWOZ homepage.

It's David's personal account of the crisis of a lifetime, for him, WWOZ, New Orleans and America. And a heart wrenching tale from WWOZ's Production Director Dwayne.  -Ken

The following is a first-person account of some of the moments in the life of General Manager David Freedman as WWOZ confronted the crisis of a lifetime. This first person narrative should be taken just as such. Which is to say, that while I sat in Hot Springs, Damond Jacob in Dallas, Dwayne Breashears in Lake Charles, Tony Guillory in Lafayette, Christian Kuffner en route to Asheville, N.C., Maryse Dejean in Natchez, Robbie Benjamin (formerly Muni Malone) in Alexandria, Marlene Wadsworth in Mendenhall, Missiissippi, Fred Goodrich in Dallas, Mary Johnston in Lafayette, Parker Sternbergh in Florida, Tom Morgan in Pensacola and many many more of our Board members, volunteers and concerned community/pubradio and on-line fans each have a week's worth of story to tell that would only begin to approximate the effort and genuine concern for WWOZ's survival. I just have one piece of the story. But I thought you might want to follow it and I invite others to post what they experienced and continue to experience as we climb back from this devastation.

David Freedman
General Manager
WWOZ-FM

Continue reading "Report From WWOZ New Orleans General Manager" »

September 02, 2005

New Orleans, WWL and WWOZ

Jesus_weep_1I have a big batch of MP3 and movie posts to put up here, but Katrina has changed things.

This one hurts.

Where to begin. The humanity? The musicians. The architecture. The culture that's lost. The hell it has become.

There's always been a connection to New Orleans on WFMU, as there would have to be for any station that takes music seriously. As I tap, Monica's doing a great show dedicated to the victims of Katrina. Doug and Spazz both did incredible New Orleans / Louisiana shows this morning and last night. (Doug's archives are here: MP3 | Realaudio and Dave the Spazz's archives are here: MP3 | Realaudio.) Doug aired that incredible interview with New Orleans mayor Ray Nagin, which you can download here: MP3.

Nagin was interviewed on WWL 870 AM last night. WWL's coverage of this disaster has reportedly been incredible.

UPDATE: WWL now was an online stream, as part of a radio consortium called United Radio For New Orleans. Go here and click on "listen live" for a windows media player feed. Thanks Chris T!

As for WWOZ, the great community radio station in new Orleans, I've been in touch with David Freedman, their General Manager. WWOZ's been destroyed - transmitter and production studio under water, no word yet on their main studios, but it seems unlikely to me that they are still in useable shape even if they were above the water. David is holed up in a motel in Arkansas, the closest room he could find when he evacuated. Needless to say, WWOZ is off the air completely, not even their stream is up. The staff is scattered all over the south, some even in the hellhole at the Superdome. They're searching for family members and each other.

And even if WWOZ were to rebuild their transmitter in a year (which is highly unlikely) how much of their audience would still be there listening to their FM signal? The hurricane has destroyed their over the air audience, but it doesn't have to also mean an end to their significant online audience. I'm working with David to help get some kind of temporary WWOZ stream back up as soon as possible, maybe even tomorrow, and then as the WWOZ staff find one another, the station will get back up with a temporary studio. WWOZ's website is till up here and when the temporary stream goes up, there will be links to it there. General relief agencies are listed here. I'll keep you posted about the OZ stream here as well, and if I get a minute I'll put up a batch of MP3s.

UPDATE: The WWOZ In Exile stream is up via the WWOZ Home Page. Thanks to all the FMU staffers who've offered help, and especially to The Professor and Bill Zurat for getting a WWOZ stream back online. In the coming weeks, this stream will be replaced by WWOZ proper, and the folks at WWOZ are already laying out plans for putting up a new temporary transmitter.

August 31, 2005

The Difference Between Finding Soda and Looting It

Looting_1FindingPictured on the left is a young man with soda he looted from a grocery store in New Orleans. Pictured on the right are two New Orleans residents who found soda at a grocery store. See the difference?

Editorial verbiage courtesy of Yahoo News. See the original looting post here and the original finding post here. Thanks, Steinski, via blackcrack list.


UPDATE: The photographer who took these photos has checked in here and says that in fact the people shown at the right did find their soda, as opposed to looting it. Thanks, Phrankenshop via metafilter!

August 30, 2005

The Rawker Rawks Out

TherawkerAnton Maiden he ain't, but The Rawker reaches new heights of surrealism with his shirtless accappella renditions of ACDC and Zeppelin tunes. According to the legend, The Rawker was kicked out of his band after the vocal monitors they bought revealed how awful his singing was. But undeterred, The Rawker made 20 VHS copies of himself singing in his bedroom and left them at the local music store, looking for a new band. My favorite Rawker clip is Whole Lotta Love, in which our hero recreates Robert Plant's howling at the moon perfectly, which is all the more strange since there is no instrumentation behind him. Me, I prefer The Rawker accappella. But if Pure The Rawker is too much for you, there's already a page of Rawker Remixes. via therawker
 

August 27, 2005

Meet The Beatle Barkers

Meet_the_barkersIn the shameless pantheon of novelty music, there is one sub-genre so unspeakable that it's practitioners almost never reveal their actual names. I speak of course of the Singing Animal Song. The Beatles Barkers are no exception. Nowhere on their album (released in the middle of the night in New Zealand) does an actual human being accept musical responsibility. It is credited only to "The Woofers and Tweeters Ensemble," but even this obfuscates the most important point about this deservedly unappreciated genre - the best Singing Animal Records are those in which there are in fact no animals at all. The Beatle Barkers success (if in fact there is any) is derived from the fact that, unlike other Singing Animal records, the animal noises are in fact samples made by human beings. Animal noises are too important to be trusted to the animals.

Here in its discredited entirety is the Beatles Barkers LP, including the original version of that most rancid song, Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da. Beatles-ologists know that Paul McCartney originally penned this aural trainwreck for Badfinger, who respectfully passed on it. Badfinger in turn passed the song on to The Woofers and Tweeters Ensemble, who recorded it in early 1968, but did not release it until 15 years later, after New Zealand's musical statute of limitations had expired.

Pictured above left is Dr. Phrankenshop's new cover for this album. A higher quality copy (as a pdf) is available here. The original album cover is here (jpg).

All My Loving
Can't Buy Me Love
Day Tripper
Hard Day's Night
I Feel Fine
I Saw Her Standing There
I Want To Hold Your Hand
Love Me Do
Ob-La-Di Ob-La-Da (original version)
Paperback Writer
She Loves You
We Can Work It Out

August 24, 2005

I Can See My House From Here

FlashearthFlash Earth takes google maps to an extreme. You start off with a flat map of the world, and then using the scroll bar on your mouse, you can zoom in to almost any point on the earth, right down to specific buildings. Pictured to the right is WFMU's neighborhood in Jersey City. It's fun to look for what your neighbors are secretly building in their backyards, not to mention monuments and other landmarks. As you might expect, some parts of the world are more extensively photographed than others. (When you click the link above, you'll get a message which you need to only say "OK" to.)

August 05, 2005

"Phil Collins Minus One" And Other Promo Scams

CollinsoncollinsMP3s: Collins on Collins, David Bowie Idents (1 | 2 | 3), King Coleman ID, Homer Simpson ID, Weezer ID, Weezer and Peaches Remix

Back in the days before Clear Channel owned every other station in the country, record labels were forced to do a little bit of legwork in order to promote their releases. Throughtout the 70's and 80's, one technique in their arsenal was to mail an "interview records" to every station in the country. Interview records were essentially spoken word karaoke interviews with rock stars, so that a local station could pretend that its own jocks had landed the big one. Stations received a record with the rock star giving answers to interview questions, which were supplied to the station on a script.

An hour or so in the production room with reel to reel tape and a razor blade, and voila! even the lowliest station in the country could air that exclusive interview with Jimmy Page! We still have one such interview record in the mighty FMU record library, "Collins on Collins," in which Phil Collins knowingly chuckles to your insighttful questions, and waxes philosophical on "Philmania" and the difference between "pop fans" and "music fans." Here is an MP3 of the Collins on Collins record which came out in 1985. If you really want to play along at home and ask Phil the questions so he can knowingly chuckle and reply to you, here is a pdf document of the script that accompanied the record.  Another variation on this theme were rock star "indents," in which a celebrity introduced his or her new single. Here are a few David Bowie idents we still had laying around: Bowie Ident 1 | Bowie Ident 2 | Bowie Ident 3 (Station Manager Ken)

Continue reading ""Phil Collins Minus One" And Other Promo Scams" »

August 04, 2005

Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Body Workout MP3s

Arnold240(mp3s: 13 fully aerobicized mp3s below)

All those tales of groping and "rowdy Hollywood parties" couldn't stop Arnold's inexorable march to the governorship. Secret salaries for promoting over-the-counter steroids in muscle magazines haven't brought him down. Even his oft-quoted admiration of Hitler was a non-issue.

But Arnold Schwarzenegger's opponents have overlooked the most embarrasing episode in Arnold's pre-political carreer  - the exercise record he recorded in 2000, Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Body Workout.

Yes, more damaging than appearing pregnant in the movie Junior, more humiliating than the box office performance of Kindergarten Cop, Arnold's Total Body Workout record has him doing 12, 24, 36 reps of calf raises to It's Raining Men (MP3)!

Think about it. Calf raises to It's Raining Men. It could achieve what groping affidavits, over the counter steroids and Rob Reiner can only dream of.

Part One (Without Weights)

Save The Overtime For Me
(Gladys Knight and The Pips)
Don't Stop Believin'
(Journey)
867-5309/Jenny
(Tommy Tutone)

Continue reading "Arnold Schwarzenegger's Total Body Workout MP3s" »

July 22, 2005

Iggy Pop Video From 1970

Iggypop018Since Mike Lupica revealed the circulatory benefits of chronic heroin use, as evidenced on Iggy Pop's chest, I thought it was only fair to give equal time to the young Iggy. Here's a video (51 MB mpg video, for download) from a 1970 Cincinatti concert, in which a boyish looking James Osterberg has his way with a vat of peanut butter while singing TV Eye and 1970. This is also the show that resulted in the iconic image seen to the right. Pay special attention to the play by play announcer ("That's..peanut butter!") and the various shrieks, cries and etchings of audience members as they swarm Iggy. via del.icio.us

July 21, 2005

American Song Poem MP3s: MSR Madness, Volumes 5 and 6

MP3s: 56 of them below the jump, along with pdfs of the CD cover art and booklets for both volumes.

Song_poemWFMU is happy to be the official host for the final two volumes of CD releases from the American Song Poem Music Archives. Prepared for release back in the late 1990s, for various reasons these two albums have been sitting on curator Phil Milstein's shelf ... until now.

Here are Phil's long-awaited collections, titled, respectively, I Like Yellow Things: MSR Madness Vol. 5 and Rat A Tat Tat, America: MSR Madness Vol. 6. Each album features full-color cover artwork by legendary cartoonists Peter Bagge (vol. 5) and Rick Altergott (vol. 6).  Together, these two volumes collect 56 of the best and weirdest song-poems that emerged from America's "send in your lyrics" musical factories. Back in the day, non-musicians mailed in their addled and/or eloquent poetry (often scribbled on sandwich bags or cocktail napkins), and for a small fee, a song was created out their poetic detritus. The concept is nothing new - there have been numerous anthologies of song poems (and even a film about the phenomenon), so many in fact that you have to wonder just how much good material there is. These collections answer that questions - tons of it, especially if you keep an open mind and you're as receptive to the strangeness of the genre as you are to the pained emotion and the historical insight they often provide.

There are some real gems here, including Burmese Land and Octopus Woman, Please Let Me Go, both favorites from Irwin Chusid's and Michelle Boule's Incorrect Music show. My own favorite here is technically not a song poem (because writer and singer are the same person), but it still fits - William Arpaia's magnificent Listen, Mister Hat. Like many song poem collections, there a batch of excellent anti-hippy musical diatribes (Till Death Do Us Part, sung by Heroin herself, Smoke It - The Pot  and The Doing Of Our Thing) And several others - My Daddy He Died in 1969, Stay Where You Are, Green Fingernails and Gretchen's New Dish - all testify to the continued richness of the song  poem genre. And that's just on Volume Five! So get started downloading, and listen! Special thanks to Phil Milstein, Irwin Chusid and Otis Fodder.

Continue reading "American Song Poem MP3s: MSR Madness, Volumes 5 and 6" »

July 19, 2005

Dubya Ringtones: Answer This!

News_bush_4Bush_bw2_1Set you cell phone to presidential zinger! What better incentive to answer your phone as quickly as humanly possible than by installing one of these eleven ringtones, each comprised of the vocal stylings of our Commander in Chief, as remixed by WFMU's public domain audio elves.

To get these ringtone on your phone, you need a cell phone with online web access. Point your cell phones browser to this address. All Dubya ringtones are available for free in three ringtone formats, the most common one of which is 3GP. Only certain phones support MP3 and WAV ringtones.

Catapult The Propaganda
(musical version): Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)
(shortwave version): Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)
(spoken version): Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)

"Third time I've said that. I'll probably say it three more times, see, in my line of work, you gotta keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in. To kinda catapult the propaganda." (Audio Unedited)


W_fish_4Fish Peace

(musical version): Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)
(spoken version): Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)

"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully." (Audio Unedited)


Bush_nosepickHeadpop

(musical version): Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)
(spoken version): Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)

"You know, I, I hope, I, I dont wanna sound like I've made no mistakes, I'm confident I have. I'm sure something will pop into my head here." (Audio Unedited)


Red_1Totally Fresh
: Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)

"My answer to that question is, is that, again, I repeat what I said earlier, heh, the, the, uhm, heh, y'know, we were shooting cruise missiles, and, heh, they dont protect us from killers. Uh, y'know, as I say, you're, you're catching me totally fresh, hah, uh gosh, I, y'know, I, I would, I, heh, the, the, uhm, heh. (Audio Edited)


W_does_the_hoodooDictatorship Is Easier
: Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)

"If this were a dictatorship, it's be a heckuva lot easier. Just so long as I'm the dictator." (Audio Unedited)


Gagging On The Donkey
: Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)

"Y'know (much stammering), Blacks are gagging on the donkey, but not yet ready to swallow the elephant" (Audio Edited, except for the last 14 words, which are 100% unedited.)


Finger1And Neither Do We
: Download (3GP | MP3 | WAV)

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful. And so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people. And neither do we." (Audio Unedited)

Mucho thanks to Mark Smith for the idea and the help, and to The Professor for his help. Look for more ringtones here soon.

July 16, 2005

Men!

Nissin_menHere is Japanese hammer throwing champion Koji Murofushi whipping his ramen (and himself) into a frenzy: Link. (avi video file for download, via octopusdropkick)

July 15, 2005

Cleaning Out My Inbox

AhnuldcWith all today's brouhaha about the Governator's five million dollar muscle magazine shilling contract, how come nobody is praising Ahnuld's fine work on this amazing Japanese commercial? (quicktime .mov file for download) via Cynical-C Blog and imockery

Chris Cunnigham's most disturbing Aphex Twin video yet, the not-for-the-squeamish and not safe for work Rubber Johnny (shockwave video). See, I told you that chihuahuas were not of this world! Thanks Brian!

Following up on Dave the Spazz's coverage of The Beach Boys own Mount Rushmore, Rich submits this Leni Riefenstahl-esque tribute to Freddie Mercury. And for all you Queen fans, here is All Your Base set to Bohemian Rhapsody (flash page).

Cool gallery interface from a Spanish artist.

Bawdy Songs, erotic toasts and lascivious recitations.

For fans of big ass horns. Thanks Kevin!

July 12, 2005

Hillary's Mad Magazine Metaphor

12alfred12bushNo sooner had I vowed to ignore all American politics unless cartoon characters were directly involved, than Hillary Clinton dared to compare President Bush to Mad Magazine's cartoon mascot, Alfred E. Neuman. "I sometimes feel Alfred E. Neuman is in charge in Washington," said the Senator during a speech in Colorado. Clinton later invoked Neuman's catch phrase, "What, Me Worry?" to great comic effect.

Republican reaction has been swift.

"If Bush is Alfred E. Neuman, your husband was Larry Flynt," roared Rush Limbaugh. (On his show, Limbaugh neglects to explain why he opts for the Larry Flynt comparison, rather than referencing the obvious cartoon character to make his point. The lascivious Pepe Le Pew or Foghorn Leghorn would have been more appropriate choices for a cartoon-based Bill Clinton metaphor.)

President Bush himself fired back, comparing Hillary to "Lucy" from Charles Schultz' Peanuts. "Much like Lucy, Senator Clinton is an annoying, bossy loudmouth," Bush said. "And she's always pulling the football away at the last second--only in her case, the football is the truth."

"Bush is Like Comic Book Idiot," read the headline in the Telegraph UK .

"At a time when President Bush and most elected officials are focused on the security of our nation, Mrs. Clinton chooses cartoon metaphors which utterly lack any cultural currency," charged Steven Stabile, chief GOP curator for the Cartoon Art Museum.

Whatmeworry"Not only does Hillary Clinton obviously read Mag Magazine, she bathes nightly in the blood of Christian babies," alleged fellow Senator Rick Santorum.

It should be mentioned that Mad Magazine is great these days. Peter Kuper, Drew Friedman, Peter Bagge are doing art, and the writing is funny and excellent.

In order to qualify this post for our popular Cartoon Sexuality category, I am obliged to include this link as proof that there are probably people out there who are sexually attracted to Alfred E. Neuman, despite what Hillary Clinton may think.

A Musical Fungus Among Us

Fungus_1MP3s: Fungal remix excerpts of New Order, Soft Cell, The Eagles, The Beastie Boys and Gordon Taylor.

Mold and Music go way back. Remember Moldy Oldies, before they disappeared from the airwaves thanks to Jack FM? Or how about Moldy Figs, the sarcastic term applied to swing and big-band fans who snubbed post-war Jazz innovations like Be-Bop (think: the record collecting crowd from the film Ghost World). And then there was that one armed drummer for The Barbarians, Mouldy. (Listen to Mouldy's theme song from Charlie's 1/10/05 show in streaming realaudio).

Continue reading "A Musical Fungus Among Us" »

July 11, 2005

The Truncated Life of a Modern, Industrialised Chicken

Chickens_01Doron just sent along this link to The Truncated Life of a Modern, Industrialised Chicken, from Matthew Herbert's forthcoming record Plat du Jour (song link: streaming MP3 which unfortunately opens in WMP). It was recorded using only sounds derived from chickens, chicken eggs and chicken related activities. The song takes a minute before it gets rolling, due to cheep audio foreplay.

Here's the description of where all the sounds from the song come from:

Chickens_03_2The Truncated Life of a Modern, Industrialised Chicken Field Recordings:

- 30,000 broiler chickens in one barn
- 24,000 one minute old chicks in one room of a commercial hatchery
- 40 free-range chickens in a coop
- One of those chickens being killed for a local farmers' market and its feathers      washed and plucked.
- A dozen organic eggs from tescos
- A 2.0l 21 centimeter pyrex classic bowl made in the UK

All melodies and chords are samples of eggs on pyrex bowls and played by
phil parnell, dave o'higgins, pete wraight and matthew herbert.

All live percussion is made from a dozen organic free-range eggs, egg boxes and egg cups and played with chopsticks by leo taylor.

The bassline is a 'cheep' from a minute-old chick, pitched down.

July 08, 2005

Cleaning Out My Inbox

Ugliest_dogThe world's ugliest dog has been located. Styggeste hund, indeed. (via b3ta)

Dschinghis Khan and Cheesy Eurodisco completionists might want another video of the band in action, this time doing their society thing with an orchestra and everything. (Realvideo clip for download, via Listener Ed)

"Put the camera down and worry about your friend." (streaming quicktime video, via fazed)

And you thought it was wet in Glastonbury? (Doh! This is Glastonbury)

Expansive art/photography site with many well known photographers and works. (via peremeny.ru)

Great page of Brazilian Bossa Nova and Samba MP3s, via Listener Zach.

How do you get extra credit from Professor Fuck? (via b3ta)

Nice street art / graffiti sketchblog.

Live in a giant coconut or create your own flying carpet. (via gizmag)

Go get lost in superbad.

Where sheep are nervous.

Psychedelic Christian Radio: Pastor John Rydgren MP3s

Pastor1(MP3s: all 19 of Pastor John Rydgrens Silhouette radio spots are linked below the jump along with more illos that Dennis Worden's did in 1988 for our former zine, LCD.)

When Liz played Pastor John Rydgren's Rinky Dink last Tuesday, I was reminded of just how great and weird Rydgren's radio spots were, and what a strange confluence of events created the country's only Psychedelic Christian format back in 1967.

Heading into the Summer of Love, Rydgren was the crafty head of the TV, Radio and Film Department of the American Lutheran  Church. Years before the words "Jesus" and "Freak" became joined at the rib, the straight-looking Rydgren created a daily radio show called Silhouette in which he became the reassuring, resonant-voiced Hippy for God. Rydgren wrote, announced and programmed Silhouette, taking his musical and cultural cues from The Electric Prunes, Herb Alpert and the cover of Time (Is God Dead?), with a vocal delivery that was straight out of the Tom Donahue / Scott Muni / Ken Nordine school of breathy baritone radio seduction. Silhouette dropped all the counter-cultural codewords of the day into a heady mix of Peace, Love, Sex, Drugs and Jesus. Not to mention Fuzzy Guitars.

Continue reading "Psychedelic Christian Radio: Pastor John Rydgren MP3s" »

July 06, 2005

Synchronized Chinese Arm Dancing

Chinesedance_1Sorry, if I knew what this style was actually called, I'd use it to describe this amazing little dance number (streaming windows media video) by a supposedly deaf Chinese dance troupe. But their ears aren't what's at issue here - it's their arms (32 of them at last count) and their 320 synchronized fingernails. It almost turns into Chinese Euro Disco at the end, but a choreographer of much wisdom pulls it back from the brink. via fazed

July 05, 2005

The Amazing Disappearing Indecency Issue

FccIt's coming up on seven month's since the FCC issued an indecency fine, after a year in which they issued more fines than in the previous fourteen years combined. While I welcome this silence on one of the most burning issues of our great republic, it does make one wonder exactly what the hell is going on. Did the FCC get gun-shy when a few broadcasting behemoths (Fox and Viacom) threatened to take the Commission's illogical and inconsistent rules to the Supreme Court? Or is the FCC simply in disarray following the departure of Michael Powell? And what ever happened to the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act, the congressional act that would've increased by ten fold the fines that stations face for uttering dangerous phrases like "Sit On My Face."

The Center For Public Integrity just issued this report which speculates that the FCC feels it has already accomplished its mission of airwave cleansing. The CPI report also has new handy-dandy charts showing the levels of fines for the last 14 years, and the most fined programs. (Bubba The Love Sponge checks in at third place.)

My own opinion, expressed in this post last March, was that both the FCC and Congress overplayed their cards in 2004, inviting constitutional challenges they might have lost (in the FCC's case) and tacking on extra censorship baggage which might have doomed the new legislation (in the case of Congress).

Kevin Martin, the new FCC head, has yet to demonstrate where he is taking this issue. He talks a much harder line than Powell did, but the Martin FCC, to their credit, has yet to take a single action on the issue. Let's hope it stays that way.

July 03, 2005

Interview with Kenny G

Kv_1WFMU's Kenny G, although spending the summer in rehab, granted an interview with Repellantzine.  Kenny holds forth on various alleged theories which, in his muddled mind, excuse his on-air hijinx. Read it here.

June 28, 2005

Ten Commandments MP3s

Ten_commandsIn honor of the Supreme Court's wacky, FCC-like decision on the Ten Commandments, here are four Ten Commandment MP3s:

Charlie the Hamster Sings The Ten Commandments (via 365 Days)
The Ten Commandments of Love - Five Diamonds
Ten Commandments - The Fugs
Ten Commandments of Love - Harvey and the Moonglows

The Glass Harmonica: Stairway to Madness

GlassstairwayListener Max sends in this mp3 of Stairway to Heaven, as performed on the streets of New Orleans by Peter Bennett, Glass Harmonica player. To be more accurate, this guy (pictured at right) is playing a Glasharfe (or Glass Harp), the most common current incarnation of the rubbed glass instruments often referred to as Glass Harmonicas. A Glass Harp consists of a series of wineglasses, each filled with a different amount of water, so that a soggy finger rubbed on the glasses gets them vibrating at different tones.

Glasharfe_hande_1The Glasharfe was popularized by Bruno Hoffman, the German virtuoso whose records rekindled interest in the Glass Harmonica (aka Armonica), and the compositions written for it from 1760-1820, when the instrument was the must-have accessory for parlors and sitting rooms. Here's a Realaudio archive of Hoffmann playing Fantasie in E Minor, from Bryce's July 25, 2004 show. You can play with a virtual Armonica here.

Continue reading "The Glass Harmonica: Stairway to Madness" »

June 27, 2005

The Rocking Son of Dschinghis Khan

Dchingiskhan_1Just when you thought that the Cheesy Euro-Disco drought would never end, listener Ed comes to the rescue with this newly found video of Dschinghis Khan, taking a stab at Der Rock und Roll, with The Rocking Son of Dschinghis Khan (right-click to download 21mb windows media video). Dschinghis Khan pulls out all the stops - gold lame pants, smoke machines, Cossack costumes and dancing, weird utterances like "Look at me, Daddy," Abba-esque background vocals and of course, that crazy Rasputin looking guy who comes out at the end for a quick round of berserko dancing which manages to get the attentive Euro-Disco audience to actually clap their hands. Thanks Ed!

More Cheesy Euro-Disco MP3s and videos here.

The Sun Sets on Heino's Career

Heino1The teutonic albino popstar known as Heino (and also known as Old Weird Eyes, รœber-Creep and Euro-Elvis) is retiring, saying "I've accomplished everything there is to accomplish in this business." Official word from the German language Der Speigel here. Heino will tour Germany one final time this October, and then he'll hang up his dark glasses for good.

Actually, he wont be hanging up his dark glasses. He needs them. Oscillating eyeballs and all that.

Not a single Heino mp3 in the house, but here's a page of Heino realaudio samples, courtesy of the Heino worship page.

And what I would give for photos of the "Trial of a Thousand Heinos" from a few years back. Heino sued another performer for copyright infringement, charging that performer with stealing his look, or his sound, or something. The day the trial began, hundreds of people showed up at the trial, all dressed like Heino. Thanks Boris!

Commies with Headphones

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Great collection of radio images from Soviet magazines. via del.icio.us

June 24, 2005

Nike Rips Off Minor Threat

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And Dischord Records isn't happy about it. via pitchfork
UPDATE: Nike's skateboarding division issued this apology.

You and The Pop Charts

Find out what song was number one on the pop charts the day you were born. Mine was Stagger Lee by Lloyd Price. (Works from 1952 on, for the UK and the US charts.) More on Popstrology here (warning though, it's a glorified ad for the book). via del.icio.us/tag/music

A Hundred Wheels of Death: The Brooklyn Bike Brawl

Bike11Bicycle gangs from all across America  converge on neutral turf in the neighborhood of Red Hook Brooklyn this weekend. There, in front of the cranes and shipping yards, on one of the last true pieces of NYC waterfront, they will begin to trash their homemade frankenstein bikes in a free day of bike game blitz. There will be madness, blood and insane bikes for everyone to ride, and events for the stronger and crazier of you to join. WFMU's Small Change will be DJ'ing at the afterparty, along four other DJs and four bands, including Cleveland's This Moment in Black History.

Events will include; flaming barenuckle tallbike jousting of death, the most hellish allmighty footdown,  the bike toss (the drunk guy favorite), and many more!

Continue reading "A Hundred Wheels of Death: The Brooklyn Bike Brawl" »

Takeshi Terauchi MP3s

Terauchi_1One of my favorite guitar players is Takeshi Terauchi, one of the many Japanese guitarists inspired by The Ventures 1962 Japanese tour. Takeshi had a whammy bar, and boy, did he know how to use it. The '62 Ventures tour inspired an entire musical movement in Japan, the Eleki scene. (Eleki is short for Eleki Boom, or Electric Boom.) Here's the mp3s for an entire album of Takeshi Terauchi with his first band, Bunnys (not the LP pictured at right).

UPDATE: Thanks to Cecile-Anne for the song titles!

The Theme of Terry | It is Sworn Not to Come Back | Black Carnation | Burn | The Shout of The Sun | Dream in Ocean | Test Driver | The Go-Between of the Rainbow | The Flying Guitar | Lonely Boy | Hey! Chance | I'm Believe

June 23, 2005

Cleavage Pillows and Poop Hats

Poophat_1Ever the innovators, the Japanese have now developed the cleavage pillow and the poop hat. via del.icio.us

Do Not Offer Sheep Food or Documents

Japan_warning_sheepThe Warning Signs of Japan, featuring wide-eyed caucasion children, ultra-cute animals, and stick figures engaged in all manner of mayhem. via del.icio.us

June 22, 2005

Amazing DJ Yoda Mini Mix

YodaA few listeners asked me about this track I played this morning, so here it is for you: DJ Yoda's Annie Mac Mini Mix (mp3), which he did specially for Annie Mac's BBC radio program last month. And here is the set that DJ Yoda did for a British magazine, which we aired on Re:Mixology a few years back (realaudio archive ).
mp3 via boomselection

June 21, 2005

Murray Saul on Aircheck

SaulIf you missed the return of Aircheck last Thursday night, then you owe it to yourself to check out the Realaudio or the MP3 archives of Murray Saul. For years, we only knew of Murray as the "It's Friiidayyy!" guy, and we included a brief snippet of his insane on-air banter on Radio Archival Oddities, Vol. 2.

From there, he was ID'ed by former Clevelandites, who remember his rants as the city's top rated DJ on WMMS. Saul's take on the rapid-fire Top 40 radio announcer is unique to say the least, due to his utter inarticulateness. But he doesn't let a loss of real words stop him - he descends into yowza bowza wowzas, roaring infectious gutteralisms that'll soon have you joining in his celebrations of the weekend, potsmoking, sex and his endless tirades against the evil slavedriver.

Slap A Superstar DJ

FatboyThe Urban 75 DJ Gallery lets you slap around your least favorite superstar DJ, or remix their faces. More fun than Chris Rock taking the stage after Fatboy Slim and calling him "Whiteboy Retarded." Also check out the Punch a Celebrity page. via Urban75

June 20, 2005

Treasure Trove of Found Sound Vocal Workouts

Karaoke200

MP3s: 30 of 'em, below the fold.

Back when WFMU's Professor was still producing The Audio Kitchen - the greatest found sound radio program of all time - he threw together a compilation for WFMU's record library called Sing Along With The Music. It featured 21 tracks of people singing along with music, usually in the privacy of their own homes. Those are the first 21 tracks I've included below, and I've added nine more that seem to fit in with the theme.

While it's easiest to refer to most of these recordings as karaoke, it's not that simple. Karaoke usually takes place in bars, with an audience. What sets most of these recordings apart is that they were, for the most part, recorded at home, usually without the intention of an audience ever hearing them. This gives most of the recordings a refreshing lack of self consciousness. Of course there are exceptions. Moritz' version of Bohemian Rhapsody (mp3) definitely sounds like a karaoke performance, and Biz Markie's version of Benny and The Jets (mp3) was intended to have an audience. Those singalong tapes were how Biz built his early career.

Continue reading "Treasure Trove of Found Sound Vocal Workouts" »

Bibleman Vs The Northeastern Liberal Elite

Bibleman2Bibleman is coming, and he's ready to smite you. More specifically, in his newest episode, he's ready to smite his arch nemesis Wacky Protester, who aims to to create a world where there will be no Christians, no churches, no Bibles, and no God! Wacky Protester (pictured in blue to the right) is armed with his latest Anti-Christian weapon - the NeuroIconoclasticSkeptisiser, which he uses to lure unwitting Vacation Bible School students into his Animated Reconstructive Transport (A.R.T.), where they will be trapped in a world where there are no rules, no faith, no hope and no future! But Wacky Protester is no match for Bibleman, who grunts scripture and seethes dialog like "The full armor of God. Never leave home without it."

If it's possible to track a culture by monitoring it's cartoon characters and puppets, then Bibleman warrants some special attention. His enemies are protesters, skeptics, art and Jews. And Ricky Martin. And there's big money trying to propel Bibleman beyond the lucrative but limited Christian video market.

That's why Bibleman is coming to The Big Apple. Next Saturday, June 25th at the Flushing Meadows Fairgrounds in Queens. Bibleman and Reverend Billy Graham, who is bringing it back home to the city where it began for him in 1957, when he preached over 100 nights in a row at Madison Square Garden. The preacher who kept his flock intact while the liberal forces of darkness reigned supreme throughout the Sixties and Seventies is reaching out to the newest generation of Christian soldiers by sharing the spotlight of his final evangelical tour with... Bibleman.

Continue reading "Bibleman Vs The Northeastern Liberal Elite" »

June 17, 2005

The Persuasive Power of Public TV's Power Puppets

Bert_ernie_1Bert and Ernie, the gay puppet power-couple most famous for cohabiting on the TV show Sesame Street, came to the nation's capital on Thursday to plead with The House Appropriations Committee not to cut their funding.

Today's New York Times covered the puppet's plea, which preceded the Appropriations Committee's vote to slash federal funding to National Public Radio (NPR) and the Public Broadcasting System (PBS) by fifty percent:

"What has happened under the committee proposal will be disastrous for public broadcasting as we know it," Representative David R. Obey of Wisconsin, the senior Democrat on the committee, said.

Another Democrat, Representative Nita M. Lowey of New York, held up Bert and Ernie puppets from "Sesame Street" as she urged lawmakers to restore the money.

But Representative Ralph Regula, Republican of Ohio, noted that "Sesame Street" receives little taxpayer money and could easily survive with the cuts."

Your puppets get one half of 1 percent of the money," Mr. Regula said. "So you can relax, Nita."

Continue reading "The Persuasive Power of Public TV's Power Puppets" »

June 16, 2005

Three Jersey City Headlines

From my customized google news box, which monitors our hometown of Jersey City, among other things:

Two Wounded In Gun Battle in Jersey City Police Station

Teen Charged in Triple Revenge Shooting in Jersey City

Jersey City OKs Shorts and T-Shirts

Cleaning Out My Inbox

Furniture2_1Time to move this stuff from my inbox to yours...

One of the true wonders of New Jersey.

Japan-bashing artwork by Korean schoolkids.

Finally, a roadmap to the wide world of sexual deviancy. Human Furniture? Turkey Men?

Amazing German karaoke version of Bohemian Rhapsody (MP3). I've got a ton more stuff like this to put up in the next few days, watch for it!

Cool trippy movie called Ministry Messiah by Dutch filmmaker Gints Apsits (Quicktime).

The Museum of Retro Technology, including rocket powered bicycles and alcohol-fueled record players.

Van Gogh's letters, indexed by keywords like "venereal" and "hallucinations."

A Russian painter's incredible online gallery and even more incredible gallery interface.

All hail The Toilet Union.

Catalog of various end-of-the-world scenarios.

Wonderful art by Alex Gross.

The Fifty Greatest Song Parts. It would be fun to do a FMU version of this.

Copyright-free spoken word samples of famous literary works via Penguin Books.

Beautiful gallery of early photographic technique of cyanotypes by photographer Edwardo Aites.

Good new mashup of Led Zeppelin and Snoop Doggy Dogg (mp3).

Do Not Click On This Link. 

Thanks del.icio.us, boingboing, peremeny, Sarah, Music for Maniacs, fazed, beatmixed, J-Walk

June 15, 2005

That Axis Power Vinyl Fetish

SyuugouI guess this is why we have a category called Cartoon Sexuality.

Someone in Japan has a thing for... vinyl. Specifically, upskirt anime imagery (nsfw, the site is in Japanese, but click on any of the links and you'll get the idea pretty quick). Maybe the vinyl fetish is an axis power kind of thing. We only just learned that that the Nazis invented the inflatable love doll. But was Himmler's "gynoid" love doll made of vinyl or elasticized polyethylene?

And what the hell is that South African anti-rape device made out of? It's the vaginal equivalent of a Bait Car (or more accurately, a parking boot) clamping itself emi-permanently onto a rapist's penis with microscopic hooks. Of course, a woman would have to wear it all the time. But it's worth it. Once he realizes that his penis is under permanent polymer lockdown, the rapist calmly surrenders to the nearest police station or hospital, where he is placed under anaesthesia for device removal.

If the clamp really catches on, think of all the corporate logos that will require updating.

All this talk of penile bear traps makes me worried about testicular cancer. Not for me, but for all my fellow penis owners who refuse to check themselves. Let's see, how can we teach men to check themselves for testicular cancer so they dont end up like Tom Green? I know, how about a public service announcement which tricks men into checking their balls by getting them to jerk off? Excellent idea! (flash movie)

thanks b3ta and del.icio.us

June 14, 2005

New York In The 70s Online Gallery

Mudd_club_bomb_std_1Laughing_gas_std_1Allen Tannenbaums book of photographs entitled New York In The 70s has been assembled into an online gallery. Check the nightlife section in particular - great photos of The Mudd Club, Max's, Studio 54, Plato's Retreat, etc, from back in the days when sex, drugs and bombs were all allowed in clubs. Some images not safe for work.

Why My Hometown Wears a Wire

Eruv9b_1My hometown of Highland Park, New Jersey wears a wire.

The wire encircles the entire town, unbroken. It's not a telephone or electrical wire, although sometimes it looks like one. It's a single strand of heavy gauge wire, with no breaks in it, that encircles the town and part of the adjoining town. It runs for miles. It's incredibly important to some of the residents, but most people in Highland Park aren't even aware that it exists.

The wire carries no electrical or communications signal of any kind - electrical, telephone, television, internet. It's a dead wire. Although it could carry signal, because it's a continuous loop - a circuit. It has to be.

Continue reading "Why My Hometown Wears a Wire" »

June 13, 2005

Jackson Moonwalks

491_moonwalk_1

Sorry. Just felt the need to be completely irresponsible and announce the news before it's announced. This is a blog, isn't it? And it'll make a great headline in the tabloids tomorrow.

UPDATE: You heard it here first, because we have no journalistic ethics whatsoever. Congratulations, Michael! Thanks Jones!

Have a pro-Michael Jackson mp3 by James Kochalka Superstar.

UPDATE2: NY Post and Daily News both run with the same picture and the headline "Boy, Oh, Boy!" But The Post comes through: June 14, 2005 - Michael Jackson moonwalked off scot-free from a kiddie-sex rap and every other charge against him yesterday.

Laura Cantrell in Vanity Fair

Laura_c_1WFMU's own Laura Cantrell is featured in the current issue of Vanity Fair, along with Mark "Deep Throat" Felt. Laura will be touring the US later this summer to support her new CD, and she'll also be doing a version of The Radio Thrift Shop for BBC Radio Scotland.

Matching Japanese Doll Women

Peanuts1Remember the miniature singing Japanese fairies from the Godzilla movie Mothra? They were The Peanuts, and their appearance in three Godzilla movies launched hugely successful singing careers. Here's an MP3 of The Peanuts serenading Mothra, and there are two full albums worth of The Peanuts MP3s here.

But as successful as The Peanuts were, they merely paved the way for another female Japanese duet, Pink Lady, who ruled Japanese popular culture for three years in the late Seventies, and dropped off the radar just as suddenly after their attempt to break into the US market sputtered following their TV show, Pink Lady and Jeff.

Pink Lady and The Peanuts both represent an archetype of Japanese pop music - twin female singers who sing, act, talk and dance in unison. While the basic act has been updated with the times, it hasn't completely disappeared. Puffy Ami Yumi fit the mold, and in a weird way, so do Afrirampo, g-strings and pasties notwithstanding. Here's a realaudio archive of Osaka's Afrirampo rocking it on Brian Turner's 9/14/2004 show. They may not talk in unison the way The Peanuts did, but the old archetype of matching doll-women singing and acting cute wont fade away. It runs deep. Girls just like to have fun. And wear matching dildoes.

WFMU Podcast Update

Mj_ipodLots of news on the WFMU podcasting front! This is the first week of our new summer schedule, and three new shows join the roster of WFMU podcasts - Professor Dum Dum's Lab, Aircheck, and The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment, bringing the number of WFMU Podcasts to 18! And one show that we're already podcasting - Do or D.I.Y. with People Like Us - will switch from re-runs to new shows. The new FMU schedule is here, and our podcast page is here. (Podcasting delivers the MP3 archives of these shows automatically to your computer and/or MP3 player so you can take the shows with you.)

Our two podcast-only shows both have new episodes out. The new episode of Chris T's FCC-unfriendly Communication Breakdown can be downloaded directly here (MP3), or streamed from this page. And the new installment of Noah's biweekly podcast of unreleased hip-hop, Coffee To Go can be downloaded here (MP3) or streamed from this page.

Detainees at Gitmo Being Forced to Listen to Christina Aguilera

Christina_aguilera_1What does Christina Aguilera have in common with  Barney The Purple Dinosaur, The Bobby Fuller Four, Matchbox Twenty and The Pretty Things? They're all included in that rarified playlist of recording artists approved for use in torture. The Drudge Report printed excerpts from a forthcoming article in Time Magazine which alleges that "interrogation" techniques at Guantanamo Bay include "Detainee #063" being forced to listen to the music of Christina Aguilera.

Continue reading "Detainees at Gitmo Being Forced to Listen to Christina Aguilera" »

June 12, 2005

Computer Listening Rising, Radio Listening Dropping

Waves_4A recent study by the NPD Group asserts that while radio is still the most popular means for delivering audio to consumers, its use in The United States dropped 4% in 2004, while listening to music on computers rose 22% in the same year. For what it's worth, I've noticed similar trends right here at WFMU - based on our fundraising marathon, the number of FM listeners has been declining steadily and the number of online listeners has been increasing. Fortunately for us, the number of new online listeners is more than compensating for the loss in FM listeners. Article from Billboard.

Memphis Phone Sex

Vanilla_bean_1One of the most inspired phone pranks I've ever heard was when WFMU's Frank Balesteri (aka The Vanilla Bean) called a phone sex outlet in Memphis, Tennessee and pretended to be a guy with an Elvis fetish. But Frank's real stroke of genius was turning the tables on the actress/operator and getting her to fantasize about Elvis - his guitar-shaped swimming pool, Elvis getting laid in heaven, the jism on his blue suede shoes. Frank even gets her singing "It's Alright, Mama," or at least all the lyrics she could remember. Too bad this was never aired. Or so I was told. Download the MP3. (Not safe for work. Taken from WFMU's 2-CD set, Radio Archival Oddities, Vol. 2)

June 11, 2005

Simultaneous Conch Blowing in Kathmandu

Conch2A bourgeoning independent radio scene in Nepal was crushed last February, when the Nepalese government restricted all non-governmental FM stations to broadcasting only music. Recently the affected stations staged a protest which consisted of 45 stations simultaneously broadcasting conch blowing, and mailing broken radios wrapped up in Nepal's constitution to government officials. Article here. via nfcb listserv
UPDATE: The protest has moved into the streets.

Christmas In June

Lock_n_load_jesus_1I thought that Christmas In July had been cancelled due to budget cuts, but apparently it's merely been moved up to June. How else to explain the sudden appearance of these pages in my inbox?

Jesus is back and his name is Ted.

Christ approves of anal sex and threesomes.

Freaky paintings of Patriot Jesus.

Spend your True Christian Dollars with Miss Poppy. Be sure to pick up an armed fetus

Thank You? Jesus, Rich, Superfrankenstein and del.icio.us

German Street Art

Muenchenmai04173_1

Incredibly extensive online gallery of German street art and graffiti. via

June 10, 2005

Dave The Spazz Waxes Wax and CBS-FM

SpazzLast night on Music to Spazz By, Dave the Spazz did his longest non-marathon monologue ever, but it was a great one. He listed the defining musical moments of his life, waxed nostalgiac about CBS-FM and his favorite Top 40 DJs like the great Dan Ingram and Harry Harrison. In short, everything that made Dave the social retard he is today. Hear Dave's monologue as a streaming MP3 here, or as a streaming Realaudio archive here. If you miss CBS-FM, you can join the roster of mourners in the comments section of this post here

Language Removal Contest

Language_4Here's an end-of-the-work-week audio contest for you. Below are links to ten mp3s of ten famous people speaking, with all of the actual language removed from their speech. All that remains are the interjections, gutteral noises, yawns, screams, background sounds, denture-clacking, tongue flapping and other sonic ephemera that accompanies normal speech. It's not as hard as you might think - various tracks contain all sorts of audio hints as to the speaker's identity. The first person to identify all ten speakers correctly wins a WFMU T-shirt and double CD of live music from WFMU. Put your guesses into the comments section.

The mystery speakers are: Maya Angelou, Phillip Glass, Elton John, Thelonius Monk, Marilyn Monroe, Henry Rollins, Susan Sontag, Sylvester Stallone, Gloria Steinem, and Malcolm X.

And here are their MP3s to download: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten.

MP3s courtesy Language Removal Services.

Cheesy Puppet Disco Loop

Puppet_discoLife is a Cheesy Puppet Disco. And it never ends. Video Loop. Thanks PLU!

NYPD and RIAA Raid Mondo Kims

Kop_circle_logo_2The RIAA, in conjunction with the New York Police Department (Or vice versa, depending on who you believe) raided Mondo Kims yesterday, arresting five store employees and charging them with trademark counterfeiting. The police seized 470 CDs, 53 videos and 27 DVDs. They also seized DVD and CD burning equipment. Most of the seized goods were described as "urban in nature," meaning that the seized CDRs were mostly hip-hop CDR mixes. Article from the NY Times here (may require password) and from MTV here.

June 09, 2005

Masters of Psychobilly

Dean_carterOne of my favorite recent records is a little gem that Program Director Brian found called Call of the Wild by Dean Carter, on the Big Beat label. Calling him the missing link between rockabilly and garage punk doesn't do him justice. Recorded mostly between '65 and '68, it's psychobilly pure and simple, with a backdrop of echo chambered heavy breathing, tortured off kilter guitar and barely controlled singing. Here's a sample of four Dean Carter songs from the WFMU realaudio archives, and here's the same four-song clip as a streaming MP3 archive. The songs in the archive clip are: I Got A Girl, You Tear Me Up, Run Rabbit Run and Would You Believe?

The only thing I could connect Dean Carter to when I heard it was another classic of inbred psychobilly, The Musical Linn Twins, which was recently reissued by Norton on a seven inch single. From our Realaudio archives, here are The Musical Linn Twins doing Indian Rock and Rockin' Out The Blues.

Rush Limbaugh Art Gallery

Jeff_christie_2The Limbaugh Letter is the newsletter for fans of The Rush Limbaugh show. Now the cover art of The Limbaugh Letter has been assembled into an online art gallery by Doug Henry, the man who has portrayed Rush slaying various liberal dragons over the years. But under the guidance of The Limbaugh Letter's editorial staff, Rush doesn't stop at slaying dragons. Henry's brush has portrayed Rush slaying donkeys, Rush boxing, Rush dousing the wicked witch of the east, Rush as Indiana Jones, as General Patton, as Santa Claus, as a Jetskier, and my personal favorite, Rush as a hippy. Thanks Rich!

June 08, 2005

23 MP3s of Wild and Wooly Vocal Stylings

Mouth_press2_3In honor of Donna's return to WFMU weekly schedule (Wednesday's 3 - 6pm, beginning June 15th), here are the MP3s of her 2001 marathon premium, Babble. She described it this way:

All manner of vocal stylings, ranging from Ethiopian herdsmen serenading their cow's udders to avant garde types with microphones lodged in their esophaguses.

Continue reading "23 MP3s of Wild and Wooly Vocal Stylings" »

June 07, 2005

People Like Us new Film: Story Without End

Story_wo_endA new short film by WFMU's own People Like Us can be downloaded or viewed here as a streaming file from the Internet Archive. People Like Us' weekly radio show, Do or D.I.Y returns to the airwaves on June 15th and will air each Wednesday from 7-8 pm, following Seven Second Delay. Do or D.I.Y is one of 15 WFMU shows which are available for automatic mp3 download via podcasting. Currently, we're podcasting the old Do or D.I.Y shows. On June 15th, we'll begin podcasting the new ones.

June 06, 2005

The Bait Car Videos of British Columbia

Baitcar_2In keeping with two great Beware of the Blog traditions, making fun of Canadians and overusing the F word, I present to you The Bait Car videos of British Columbia. Bait Cars are rolling, remote-controlled traps to catch car thieves and put 'em away. Is this some Totalitarian Canadian Nightmare? Have the Canucks actually out-Orwelled Old Glory?

No need to worry, we have plenty of Bait Car programs here in the USA. Over 100 police departments around the country use Bait Cars, which are decked out with satellite tracking equipment, remote controlled engines and door locks, hidden cameras and occasionally, expensive easy-to-steal stereo equipment as additional bait.

Of course, videos like this make the prospect of encroaching governmental entrapment so worth the gamble! In a Burnaby, British Columbia video called Oh No (streaming wmv file), a Canadian car thief is grooving to The Verve's Bittersweet Symphony when he realizes that he's the target of a dragnet. As he laments his predicament, he whines "oh fuck" and "oh no" to the music. Only when the police disable his car by remote control does he realize that he's driving a bait car. By the end of the video, you actually feel bad for this guy - no mean feat.

In the production entitled The Prayer (streaming wmv file), two young car thieves discover religion during a night of joyriding while listening to British Columbia's Finest Alternative Rock. These videos are amazing enough on their own, but the rock radio backdrops just make them perfect.

How long before the Security and Exchange Commission sets up a Bait Corporation Program? Don't hold your breath. Bait Cars are more fun. via fazed

Electrelane Live on WFMU

Rachel_mia_1Electrelane stopped by last week to record a great session for OCDJ's Plug and Play program. You can hear their set as a streaming Realaudio archive here. Electrelane's set starts 5:40 into each archive. And here is a short video file of them playing in WFMU's Love Room (avi file for download).

Mammatus Clouds

Mammatus1_2 Mammatus2_2
Mammatus Clouds. Who knew? via del.icio.us

June 05, 2005

A Batch of Great Current Music Videos

Head over to Colonel Blimp, a London-based video house which is producing some of the more interesting current  music videos you'll find these days. Besides a great one from WFMU's own Donna Summer, you'll also find a Cheesy Euro-Disco anthem featuring power tools, plus videos from Dizzee Rascal, The Streets, Interpol, Chicks on Speed, Bjork, Basement Jaxx and others.

Donna_summer_vid2_1My favorite has to be Donna Summer's (aka Jason Forrest) video for Stepping Off, directed by the boy wonder Waverly. Structured as a rock tour travelogue, Stepping Off touches on dozens of Seventies rock cliches - wizards, dwarves with fake beards, coke and girls. And refreshingly, Donna Summer never appears in his own video. Click for the video here (Streaming Quicktime 6, but can also be downloaded from the site).

SatisfactionBringing Cheesy Euro Disco into the 21st century, we have Benny Benassi's Satisfaction, directed by Dougal Wilson, featuring scantily clad babes in safety glasses operating two-speed power drills, Belt Sanders (110 or 220 volts!), Dual Actions Saws and Orbital Sanders. Video link here.

Dream_1Another winner is Dizzee Rascal's video for Dream, also directed by Dougal Wilson. Dizzee covers the song Happy Talk from South Pacific while cavorting on top of a grand piano with criminal puppets and marionettes. Video link here.

Be sure to also check out Klonherz' Three Girl Rhumba (video link here), and FC Kahuna's Hayling (video link here).

June 04, 2005

Helge Schneider Salutes CBS-FM

HelgeIn memory of CBS-FM, I make this offering of mp3 cover versions by the great German comedian and ersatz rock star Helge Schneider, from his album Eiersalat In Rock. On this album, Helge is backed up by his rock and roll band, The Firefuckers: Nights in White Satin | Hey Joe | A Whiter Shade of Pale | My Generation | Ebony and Ivory | Whispering

Thanks to foreign listener C for making this post possible!

June 03, 2005

CBS-FM Adopts Jack Format

WCBS-FM has signed on to the Jack format, as the ipod-emulation format sweeps the nation. Infinity has also turned Jack on in Chicago. As of five pm today (Friday June 3rd), New York City no longer has an oldies station, at least in the 1950's sense of the word. It's hard to consider it a bad thing for commercial radio stations to expand their playlists, yet this still smacks of utter desperation. And then there's Mickey Dolenz. Lots of listeners have weighed in on the Jack format in the comment's of Brian Turner's post here. via FMQB

MP3s of 78 rpm Records

Hrecord_retIf you like to mix and match your ancient and modern technologies, then head over to Turtle's 78 rpm Jukebox for a batch of mp3s of records made during the acoustic era of recording, before electricity was used in the recording process at all. Turtle is offering up scads of public domain material  by Bill Murray and others who've been featured on both of WFMU's 78rpm / Edison Cylinder programs, Thomas Edison's Attic and The Antique Phonograph Music Program, both of which are also available as podcasts. via boingboing

June 01, 2005

Fucking USA Video

FuckingusaI don't think the North Koreans like us very much. This is allegedly a North Korean anti-American propaganda film which owes a lot to Team America. Quicktime video via robpongi (nsfw)

NYC Department of Transportation's Camera Corps

There are forty five cameras in the naked city. This is one of them.

May 31, 2005

The Robots of WFMU

Passing_robot_1Everybody loves a good robot or two. Here at WFMU, we have three of them. Two of them call up our DJs from time to time and say things like "telemetry channel - zero zero." From time to time, you might hear one of our DJs announce on the air that they have to go back to music right away because the robot is calling. It's true. When the robot calls, a bright strobe light goes off in the studio, everybody has a seizure and the DJ is supposed to drop everything and find out what the robot has to say.

Our third robot, I can't tell you what he does. But he lives on Mike Lupica's desk and he has an arm that moves back and forth and does stuff. Dave the Spazz opens his show with a robot. You know the one - Hal, from 2001 A Space Odyssey. The one with the heavy breathing who goes "Just what do you think you're doing, Dave?"

Continue reading "The Robots of WFMU" »

May 30, 2005

The Way To Do A Parade

S_royal28_grandRoyal03_grandThe people in Nantes, France really know how to do a parade. During a festival commemorating Jules Verne, a giant marionette climbs out of a huge barrel, mounts a mammoth mechanical elephant and parades through the streets. As the parades through the streets, the French giantess takes a shower, sucks a giant lollipop and rests on the elephant's tusks, before she is ultimately hoisted into a giant rocket and set ablaze. Great photo-montage here, with quicktime videos. The site is in French, but just follow the arrows at the bottom of each page. via del.icio.us

Seven Minutes In Deadwood

Swearengen3_3The TV show Deadwood has taken the art of cussin' to new heights. Fans of the show are even known as fucknuts. But despite what you may have heard, Deadwood is not all blowjobs, cocksuckers and titlickers. Specifically, in a sample 60 minute episode, 53 minutes of it were 100% curse-free! I painstakingly edited out all the clean phrases and passages from one episode of Deadwood, distilling the show down to its brilliant essence. I now present to you Seven Minutes In Deadwood (mp3, not safe for shit - wall to wall cursing and ethnic slurs). (For fans of the show, this is episode ten of season one, the episode known as Mister Wu.)

Backmasking for Dummies

Satan_1The problem with backmasking is that there are so many demonic dialects, who can possibly keep up? You can never be sure exactly which evil deeds the Rock Demons are trying to implant in your subconscious. Well, fret no more. Jeff Milner's handy-dandy backmasking site lets you play songs forwards or backwards, and it even displays the secret satanic messages for you while you listen. Who knew that Robert Plant was really singing about an evil "little toolshed where Satan made us suffer" in Stairway to Heaven? So the next time the talking dogs show up at your house wanting proof of purchase stamps for all your evil deeds, you'll no longer be able to feign ignorance. via del.icio.us

May 28, 2005

Japanese Manhole Covers

ManholeThe Japanese make some bad ass manhole covers. via fazed

Russian Art Site

Dont let your ignorance of the cyrillic alphabet keep you from this excellent Russian art site (but do let a lack of bandwidth or flash keep you away). Despite the language barrier, there's tons of chance entries to surrealist and fantasy art sites, like the galleries of Maria Isabel Arango or Ernst Fuchs, Jessiekitty's intriguing bondage blog, world press photos of the year, and the work of P Grik. And of course I had to go to a Russian site to find a great blog from our own backyard, the Wooster Collective's celebration of street art. There's a link there to us as well, otherwise how would I have found this?

The Demented Leftist Cabaret of Kollektiv Rote Rรผbe

Scherben_1Here are the mp3s of an album called Paranoia by the mysterious German band known as Kollektiv Rote Rube. The album was released in 1976, and was a collaboration between Kollektiv Rote Rube and the better known German band Ton Steine Scherben. At least that's what I think; this band has been a real mystery to me since receiving the cassette from a friend of a friend nearly 20 years ago. If any German speakers can provide their best guesses at the track titles or any other information, please add it to the  comments section. Kollektiv Rote Rube appear to have been a Munich-based theater group who collaborated on this album with Ton Steine Scherben. Beyond that, I dont know much but there is information online in German about them, and they are listed as a musical influence on a Nurse With Wound page. My favorite tracks are the disturbing number five, eight, ten, fifteen, sixteen & the filthiest song I can play on the US airwaves, number seventeen (immer wieder fickin?).

Happy listening: One | Two | Three | Four | Five | Six | Seven | Eight | Nine | Ten | Eleven | Twelve | Thirteen | Fourteen | Fifteen | Sixteen | Seventeen | Eighteen | Nineteen.

May 27, 2005

Gunther and His Ding Dong

Guntherimages3OK, I submit. I will create a separate category for Cheesy Euro-Disco.

I received my DVD with the video of Baccara's Yes Sir I Can Boogie a few days ago, and it was terrible. But then, as if The Disco Gods heard my disappointment and wanted to make it up to me, Listener Jon notified me about 2004's huge Euro-disco hit, Ding Dong Song, aka Oh, You Touch My Tra La La, by Gunther and The Sunshine Girls. Watch the video here (streaming wmv file from jengajam). Baccara may dance around suggestively, but Gunther delivers. (Not safe for work due to soft core lesbianism and frothy champagne bottles.)

And check out the GI Joe remix of the same (right click to download wmv file, via ebaum).

Afraid to admit that you like Cheesy Euro Disco? Be not alone.

The Haka

Haka1_2And speaking of sound effects, the greatest chant on earth is The Haka (mp3), the hundred-year old Maori rugby chant of the New Zealand All Blacks team. Hakas also refer to the stance that players take while doing The Haka, and recently, mystery Hakas have been popping up around New Zealand. And oh yeah, The Haka is patented, so don't get any ideas, you rugby teams. Or DJs.

Karate Sound Effects

Bruce_lee2Sunrise_karateLife without karate sound effects is not worth living. (MP3 of "Stick Fight" from Bruce Lee's Game of Death.)

May 24, 2005

Fainting Goats

FaintgoatWith all the fake viral crud swarming around the web these days, isn't it refreshing to know that Fainting Goats are real? What they are. Why they fall over. Fainting goats in action (mpeg video file). Fainting Goat / Yooper Humor Heaven. Festival of Fainting Goats. Fainting Goats slang. Get yer Fainting Goats (ifilm movie). via Life in the Present.

May 23, 2005

The Art and Poetry of Fatal Facts

The US Department of Labor's Occupational Safety and Health Administration have collected and illustrated a collection of data about fatal industrial accidents. The descriptions read like some kind of demented poetry:

Osha2A contract employee
was assigned to sandblast
the inside of a reactor vessel
during turnaround activities at a petrochemical refinery

the contract foreman connected

the employee's supplied air respirator
to a hose containing what he thought was plant air

Instead it was nitrogen

Both hoses were identical except
for markings at the shutoff valve
The sandblaster entered the vessel
descended to the bottom
placed the respirator hood
on his head

and was overcome

Thanks to Evan Funk Davies

Soundtrack for Torture

Sonicwar_1MP3s: The More You Sell (retail motivational training from The Happy Listener's Guide to Mind Control) and Kris Jensen's Torture.

In November 2003, one of our DJs received this e-mail from a WFMU listener stationed in Iraq:

Hi, I'm currently deployed to Iraq and recently discovered your program. Since then My tank crew and I listen whenever we get the chance. The reason I'm writing is that we have been looking for anything we can find by happy flowers, not just because I think My Skin Covers My Body is the greatest record of all time, but also It's perfect for Psychological Warfare. Well, the only song we have here is Charlie Got a Haircut and we've used it so much, we can't stand it. Basically I wanted to check if you know somewhere we can score some Happy Flowers we can then load onto an Ipod to use on the Iraqis. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Continue reading "Soundtrack for Torture" »

May 22, 2005

The Saints Preserve Us From Peter Frampton

Stranded_shad_2The Saints came all the way from Australia to play live on Terre T's Cherry Blossom Clinic yesterday. You can hear their set here in streaming MP3, or here in streaming Realaudio. And here is a short video clip of them performing in WFMU's Love Room (avi video file, right-click to download).

As they were loading in, Chris Bailey from the band informed me that, if it werent for The Saints, we'd still be playing Peter Frampton. Taken aback, I informed him that we never stopped playing Peter Frampton (realaudio). He then gave me a big bear hug and licked me all over my face. OK,  that didnt actually happen. Except for the Peter Frampton part. And the licking.

May 21, 2005

Cookie Monster Karaoke

Growl_karaoke_1
And speaking of Cookie Monster Vocals, follow the bouncing ball with Growl Karaoke. (flash animation, via del.icio.us)

Electronic Musical Toys of the 60's and 70's

Beegees_machineHere's a great collection of electronic musical toys from 1954 to the late 80's, including the Shaun Cassidy Electronic Organ, the Bee Gees Rhythm Machine and Mattel's Magical Musical Thing. For a more grownup version of the same thing, visit the Synthmuseum, where you can find the old WFMU favorite, the Optigan.

Taking toys like this and hacking away at their innards is now known as circuit bending, and there's no circuit bender quite like the Norweigan musical outsider Tore Honorรฉ Bรธe, who is also the king of aliases. His homemade musical laptops are things of beauty, and also earned him a place on tour with Einsturzende Neubauten. Thanks, listener Bas!

May 20, 2005

The Fifty Worst Hairstyles of All Time

Choppa_styleAnd they missed choppa-style! Link, via Cynical C-Blog.

Chamber Muzak MP3s from Real Fish

Real_fish_1In 1990, our Program Director picked up a batch of dollar LPs from the local Tower Records annex. Amid the dross were three albums from a Japanese band called Real Fish. Little is known about the band - they were somehow related to the great Japanese producer Haruomi Hosono (of Yellow Magic Orchestra), and all three of their records came out on the Invitation label. But the music was unique and fascinating - it has elements of Japanese muzak and allusions to the "new chamber" stuff that was floating around Europe at the time (Belgian bands like Julverne - realaudio clip). But it's on the Averybigbandundescribeable side, which is why I love it so much. If only all muzak were half this intelligent. Here are mp3s of seven tracks from their two albums - the aply titled A Very Big Band in Heaven (1984) and When the World Was Young (1987).

1. White Gloves  2. Rendezvous  3. When The World Was Young  4. Monday  5. Beach Parasol  6. Parade   7. Size of Love

Cleaning Out My Inbox

HaircutformeetingsIt's time once again to purge these items out of my inbox before they start to grow fuzz all over them. Then I can get back to preparing some new MP3 posts.

* Why did someone leave this video clip of Kenny G and Irwin doing karaoke to The Carpenters in my Studio C folder? Dont they know how dangerous leaving stuff like this laying around is? (avi video file)

* Virtual mumblypeg. The screaming is the best part.

* My beloved Latvia is a 33 to 1 longshot in the Eurovision betting pool. And how in the world can Wigwam generate 4 to 1 odds?!

* Vinyl as a visual medium.

* The amazing real-time World-O-Meter.

* Keep the Freesound project handy for the day the MP3 police show up at your front door.

* Captain Tolerance says: Change Your Race!

* Buy My Fucking Ringtone (nsfw)

* Break out the sunscreen!

* Everything you need to pass a piss test, including the prosthetic penis. (nsfw)

* Another way to postpone aging. (streaming wmv file)

* The endless Zoom Quilt.

* The musical preferences of British politicians.

* Finally, a site dedicated to Brainfreeze.

Thanks Erella, Bill, Bryce, John from Oslo, b3ta, eyebeam, fazed, del.icio.us

May 19, 2005

Jim Hawthorne - The First Freeform Radio DJ Ever

Jim_hawthorneFor many years, I subscribed to the conventional wisdom that freeform radio got its start on KPFA in Berkely, the first non-commercial radio station in the country, and the cornerstone of the Pacifica Radio anti-empire. In the mid-Fifites, story has it, some late night DJs at KPFA began to experiment with formats, techniques and illicit substances, even going so far as to do the occasional audio collage!

Then I heard Jim Hawthorne, and I had to rewrite the history of freeform radio, at least in my own head.

Continue reading "Jim Hawthorne - The First Freeform Radio DJ Ever" »

May 18, 2005

Let Them Sing It For You

Yes, it knows the F word. Thank you Radio Sweden.

Stop Me Before I Euro-Disco Again

ApacheQuestion: What do you call a batch of Danish hippies cavorting in a field with a trio of gyrating Indian maidens?

Answer: I dont know, but watch it here and don't avert your eyes.  (right click to download mpg)

More importantly, does this mean I have to create a separate category for cheesy Euro-Disco even before my Baccara video arrives in the mail? Actually this is a video of Danish singer Tommy Seebach covering The Shadows song Apache. And if you liked Tommy, you're sure to enjoy Vitalic and Dschinghis Khan. Thanks Carrie from Stay Free for the link.

The Simpsons as Described by WGBH

Bart_blindMP3: Simpsons episode with "DVS" audio captioning for blind people.

The other night, I turned on The Simpsons, only to find that the program's audio had a weird narrator describing almost everything that was happening. At first I thought that The Simpsons were parodying the voice-over approach from another Fox show, Arrested Development. It turns out that my broken VCR was picking up an additional audio channel instead of the main one, and in the case of The Simpsons, I was hearing the DVS, or blind captioned version of the show. DVS stands for Descriptive Video Services, and it's the audio equivalent of closed captioning for the deaf. Here's a large MP3 of the DVS version of The Simpsons "Rapture" episode from May 8th (right click to download).

Continue reading "The Simpsons as Described by WGBH" »

May 17, 2005

Cookie Monster: The Real Most Influential Musician of All Time

Cookie_monster_worth_1MP3s: Ted Shred's Michael Jackson vs Cookie Monster and Daniel's Death Metal Warmup Exercises (right-click to download, plus streaming Realaudio samples below).

I have to take issue with Program Director Brian's characterization of "Animal" from the Muppets as the most influential musician of all time. I didnt think I would have to explain this to you Brian and I hate to publicy correct you, but "Animal" is a puppet. Made of cloth and wire. He doesn't really play the drums at all. When you watch "Animal" during a drum workout, the drums you hear are played by a session musician working for Sesame Workshop. That Buddy Rich clip was done with puppets and trick photography.

Just because the term "Animal From The Muppets" brings up an impressive 807 google citations doesnt mean that any drummers out there actually want to sound like Animal. So how can he be an influential musician?

I grant you that Animal may be a convenient lynchpin for current drummers and rock writers. But he is far from the most influential musician of all time. He's not even the most influential Muppet. If we seek to honor one musician who has been extraordinarily influential, a lone artist who has singlehandedly influenced world wide musical markets and scenes for over a decade, from the deepest underground to the most mainstream, we need look no further than Cookie Monster.

Continue reading "Cookie Monster: The Real Most Influential Musician of All Time" »

May 16, 2005

French AIDS PSAs

I wrote about Public Service Announcements last month and included some beautiful Mexican PSA art. Not to be outdone by the Mexicans, the French have released a few PSA posters about AIDS prevention that are, how shall we say... rather saucy. Click here to see them. (Not safe for work. Unless you're French. Or a spider. Actually, you would have to be both. via b3ta newsletter.)

May 15, 2005

The Road From Yamasuki to Bananarama

Yamasuki400UPDATE: MP3 now available for download - Yamasuki. Thanks, Finder's Keepers!

One of my favorite recent records is a reissue from 1971 called Le Monde Fabuleux Des Yamasuki. It's a wild amalgam of psychedelic pop, fuzzed out guitars, children's choirs and karate chants, coming together to create a sort of multi-kulty rock opera. The record started off as a cross-cultural dance project intended to bridge gaps between Europe and the Far East, but the two French pop producers in charge of the music quickly got carried away, learning Japanese, importing children's choirs and even hiring a famous Judo master from Japan to yelp and roar in the background. OK, so I'm a sucker for yelping. Especially Japanese yelping.

Continue reading "The Road From Yamasuki to Bananarama" »

May 14, 2005

Abstinence Clearinghouse A Magnet for Horny Motorists

Brothel2_3In what sounds like a devious employee prank, Google Maps is identifying certain U.S. businesses as whore houses. What a great public service this would be if the brothel ID tags were accurate! Alas, they are not. Go ahead and try it before Google management plugs the hole - go to Google Maps, type in a zip code and include the word "brothels" without the quotation marks.

One business that was misidentified as a cathouse is the Abstinence Clearinghouse in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, a non-profit orginization that hooks up people who are against pre-marital hookups. Leslee Unruh, the President of the Abstinence Clearinghouse, while angered about Google's little "mistake," said that it at least explained an ongoing mystery:

"We've been seeing some strange men stopping by the office," she said. "They're clearly looking for something. If they're traveling and using Google, maybe they think we're..." she said, but didn't finish. "We're right off the Interstate."

"I'd love to know what's going on," she said. "Although we do have a red lamp near the window. I told my staff, 'we have to get that out of there.'"

via Yahoo news.

 

May 13, 2005

Sonic Weaponry

It's long been known that various governments have sonic weapons in their arsenals, sound cannons that can be aimed at enemy troops (or in some cases, their own citizens). But now this video proves that European gameshow hosts have been experimenting with the same technology (windows video file, right click to download), often to devastating effect. via alldumb.com

May 12, 2005

Bootleg Browser

That's bootlegs as in live concert audio, not as in mashups.

Must...Adopt...Chicken

MailorderchickenFor those who love chickens or hate powerpoint. Mailorder Chickens. (Flash animation)

May 11, 2005

They Wanted Fast Songs

Afghani singing sensation Nasrat Parsa was killed because he didn't play the right music at a Mother's Day concert, his grieving family says. The 34-year-old died just after 11 p.m. Sunday from injuries sustained in an early morning attack. A 19-year-old Burnaby man is in custody facing a charge of manslaughter. "Put them in jail forever. Life sentence. They should be executed," Parsa's grief-stricken brother, Ehsan Parsa, said yesterday. He said the attack outside the Days Inn in the 2000-block Kingsway happened without warning or provocation.

Ehsan and his brothers, Najeeb and Nasrat, were met at the hotel at 1 a.m. Sunday by a group of men Ehsan recognized from the Saturday night concert at the Vancouver Playhouse. At the concert, the men were drunk and dancing. One jumped on to the stage and asked the internationally acclaimed singer to change the music to something quicker. Parsa said the event was a Mother's Day celebration, not a wedding, and he could not meet the request.

"They wanted fast songs," Ehsan said.

Thanks to DJ Rix, via Canada.com

Space Sounds

Ever wonder what a magnetosphere sounds like? Me neither. But now you can actually hear one, on the Space Sounds site, where you can also tune in to the actual audio of black holes, cosmic debris, tweeks, whistlers and more. Warning, the site also peddles a line of swag. How people can do that is beyond me. What I want to know is how these sounds were recorded in the vacuum of space.

She Be She Strike - Long Version

TumasiquissaMP3s: 30 Minute version of She Be She Strike and three songs from Inuit singer Tumasi Quissa: Iyagaaluit, Irngutapiga Qiayuapeomat and Niaquvinialuit.

A few weeks ago, I posted five excerpts from a legendary underground cassette called She Be She Strike,  which captured some amazing radio from an Eskimo janitor and his friends who allegedly took over a Canadian radio station when the regular staff went on strike from the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (or CBC - "She Be She"). The original post is here. A few people asked me to post the full unedited version, so I'm putting that up now (MP3, right-click to download). Two people from the CBC stumbled onto the original post, and they're trying to get the tape translated from the original Inuktitut. I'll report back when there's info about these tapes from the good folks at the CBC. 

The 30 minute version is rich with Eskimo radio goodness, but listening to it again makes me realize that there is an even longer version that this 30 minute version was made from. I heard that on WFMU in the late Eighties, but there's no trace of it now...

Continue reading "She Be She Strike - Long Version" »

May 10, 2005

Angelina Jolie Homewrecker Song

Angelina2Amazing near-X-rated song and video about the breakup of the century, starring Brad, Angelina, Jennifer Aniston, Mariah Carey, Halle Berry and Condoleeza Rice like you've never seen her. Not safe for work. via alldumb.com
UPDATE: The song is by Bumba and Jhae.

More Disturbing Canadian TV

A bold and innovative television public awareness campaign about domestic violence will not be shown on Calgary television stations due to an unfavourable ruling from the Television Bureau of Canada (TVB). You can watch these public service announcements yourself, but please make the children leave the room first:  Boardroom and Restaurant (right click to download mpg files). Both from the Homefront Mission of Calgary. These two PSAs were deemed to be too graphic to broadcast, according to Canada's Telecaster Guidelines. via Cant Stop The Bleeding.

Vatican Guilty of Radio Poisoning

A court in Rome on Monday convicted a Vatican cardinal and the head of the city-state's radio station for electromagnetic pollution. Here in the homeland, we call this RF Radiation. I would contend that if the Vatican is breaking Italian regulations by irradiating the neighbors, then the regulations must be wrong. (Environmental infallibility and all that..) Thanks to Bob W for the link.

Bring Me The Video of George's Jig

Dubya apparently wiggled his hips in Tblisi, Georgia last night, at least twelve hours ago, and still no video! At least I couldn't find it yet. And George's jig was (appropriately) televised on Georgian television over and over last night. The internet was supposed to make all embarassing political moments available to the entire world immediately! My kingdom (or at least a few CDs) to the first commenter who can link to video of yesterday's Georgian jig. Remember Dubya's dance with Ricky Martin at the first inaugural? While searching, I did stumble across this video about an extraterrestrial puppet who really likes Jesus (Quicktime video of The Junior Christian Science Bible Lesson Show).
UPDATE: Listener Jeff found and edited the video of george's brief jig. Right click here to download windows video file. Thanks Jeff!

May 09, 2005

Donna Summer MP3s

Cobraguitar_1WFMU's own Donna Summer (aka Jason Forrest - no, his cease and desist letter hasn't yet arrived) has a page up of MP3s from his label, Cock Rock Disco. Donna beams his show / podcast to WFMU from Berlin, and it airs Thursday nights at 6pm on WFMU.

Secrets on Postcards

Stopped_lyingSince January, people have been mailing their deep, dark secrets, contained on anonymous postcards to this address:

PostSecret
13345 Copper Ridge Rd
Germantown, Maryland
USA 20874-3454

They're up for the whole world to see here.

The Company We Keep

Ariana Huffington's blog launched a few days ago, and lo and behold, there is a permanent link to WFMU's Beware of the Blog on the main page. The best part of it is that we are on the same list as Rosie O'Donnel's blog, which features her great metaphysical poetry, stuff like this:

between the runaway bride
the 10 pound hamburger
michael jackson
and now cruddy corey

iโ€™m beginning to lose hope
i wonder if we will ever
again
get real news
in this country

Also on Arianna's new blog, you can check out Hilary Rosen's sad lament about the horrors of digital rights management. Poor Hilary (the former head of the RIAA, and one of the people responsible for raising copyright protection to its current level of hysteria) purchased an iPod and now she can't figure out how to move her Microsoft files onto it. And Harry Shearer makes the enticing suggestion that he may soon be posting his famous found video feeds online.

You Drive Me Nervous

Driving

What the hell is going on here? I would understand if Putin's steering wheel were on the other side...

May 08, 2005

Two For Mothers Day

MomsHere's two appropriate songs for Mother's Day, in case you're still living with her or she happened to have been killed by Rock and Roll.

First, Rock and Roll Killed My Mother (streaming Realaudio) by The Hi Fi Guys, from Brian Turners show from December 7, 2002. Second, I Still Live With My Moms, (streaming Realaudio) by Thirston How III, from Noah's Coffee Break With Heroes and Villains from July 19, 2004. Thirston Howl III will also be live on Noah's show this coming May 25th.

Two More Telemarketer Strategies

Following up on Andy Breckman's pretend-to-be-retarded telemarketer ploy, here are two more strategies. First, Eugene Mirman negotiates a killer long distance rate, while simultaneously destroying the gay agenda (MP3 download). Second, Jessica Kane reveals the most subversive technique of all - being nice! (streaming realaudio from Kenny G's April 13, 2005 program)

May 07, 2005

The Multicultural Barking of Dogs

BzzzpeekLaughter may be universal, but the the sound that dogs or pigs make is not. According to this site, oink oink turns into buubuu in Japanese. But bzzzpeek explores this concept one better, inviting kids from all over the world to actually record and submit their best animal impersonations. (requires flash)

May 06, 2005

Vomiting The News

MP3 of a News Announcer from Sydney, Australia reading the news and losing her lunch, all  at the same time. via b3ta newsletter

Yippie Yi Yo

Ghost_1Thirty two versions of Ghost Riders In The Sky.

Le Parkour

Parkour2_1The art of running away from the police has finally been elevated to the status of Eastern Religion through the practice known as Le Parkour. Think Will Smith chasing down the alien in Men in Black II, or the rooftop chase scene in the remake of The Untouchables. Le Parkour goes under a few other names such as Yamakazi or Free Running. Its high priest is a Frenchman named Sebastien Foucan, and it tends to flourish in densely populated urban areas with lots of flat rooftops, the better for leaping across. Here's a parkour video (wmv file) from the British parkour group Urban Freeflow, and to see just how pervasive this new religion is, check out the latest Spike Jonze commercial for Adidas (Quicktime video).

May 05, 2005

Unshackled!

Unshackled2The longest running dramatic series in radio history is Unshackled! and it's still being produced every week, complete with live cheesy organ music, folie artists providing live sound effects and original morality plays, each proving "that Christ can break the fetters of sin and set the sinner free." Unshackled! has been produced weekly since 1950 by The Pacific Garden Mission in Chicago, and can be heard on 1,550 radio stations, in 147 countries. It's the radio equivalent of Chick Tracts and Reefer Madness.

Hearing Unshackled! is like listening in on radio's past, which is how I feel when I listen to th great Paul Harvey. I've stumbled onto Unshackled! broadcasts while driving cross country several times, so I was overjoyed to discover that their programs for the last seven years are online in Realaudio and Windows Media Player format. Check out this episode from December, 2001 (streaming realaudio), in which an evil father buys pot for his son, just so he can confiscate it and then flush the pot and his son's head down the toilet! But the good times dont stop there - check out the capsule descriptions for each show. The shows are catalogued with capsule summaries like "Alcohol, Hobo, Blindness," "Jewish, Mental Illness, Marijuana" or "Country Music, Bigamy, Pride."

Negotiations are now underway to bring several Unshackled! episodes to WFMU's Aircheck program this summer.

May 04, 2005

Something About Livestock

Horsey2_1MP3: German language version of the Mr. Ed theme by Ralf Paulsen

Here I am, tiptoeing around the minefield of federal language laws during the most severe FCC crackdown in history, and the first lady's all over the TV, making jokes about the president jerking off a horse! And it's not the first time that the notion of hammering away on a big old slab o' horse cock has been granted this special legal exclusion. Just last November, the FCC ruled that the Fox television show Keen Eddie was AOK, despite its scene of a prostitute jacking off a racehorse.

Now granted, the FCC's decision on Keen Eddie was an agonizing one to make. The vote was 3-2, in favor of Fox, with Michael Powell casting the decisive vote, and we all know what a fan of horse racing he is.

Continue reading "Something About Livestock" »

May 02, 2005

The Homosexual Energy Agenda

A few days ago, the satiric site The Swift Report ran a funny piece about Bush blaming high energy prices on, you guessed it, those gas-guzzling homosexuals. There was one group for whom the satire wasnt quite far fetched enough - Dubya's conservative brethren. Matt Drudge and Andrew Sullivan both believed the story and linked to it as an actual news item, and Rush Limbaugh said on the air that he didn't know if the site was legit or not, but if it was, those evangelical Christians had better chill out.

Hip-Hop Airchecks

Turntable_1Tons of hip-hop radio mixes from the Eighties available as MP3s here, including Mister Magic and former WFMU DJ Steinski.

MP3 Archives Just Got Fatter

Painting_hogStarting today, all of our MP3 archives will be recorded in resplendent 128 kilobits-per-second audio, instead of that measly, insect-like 96k rate that we once used. (What were we thinking with that 96k crap anyway?) The first show recorded at the new, better-sounding rate is Tony Coulter's show from today, Monday May 2nd. Hear it in all its life-affirming sonic glory here (streaming MP3). All MP3 archives from now on will be at 128k, instead of 96k, and as usual, we will keep them posted for 15 days, while the Realaudio archives stay up until the Phat Lady Sings.

New Communication Breakdown Podcast Available

A new episode of Chris T's FCC-unfriendly podcast, Communication Breakdown is out and can be downloaded as an MP3 here, or streamed here (not safe for work). You can sign up to have all new episodes of Communication Breakdown (or our 14 other podcasts) delivered to your computer or iPod on our Podcast page.

May 01, 2005

Get Yer Celebrity Skin and Bodily Fluids!

DrothOnly $33 for some Michael Stipe fecal matter! And why is Sammy Hagar's bacteria worth less than David Lee Roths? via fazed.net

April 30, 2005

Conet Project MP3s

SpyHard core WFMU Listeners are probably familiar with The Conet Project, a four CD set of shortwave recordings of "Numbers Stations." Now the entire set can be downloaded directly from Irdial, here. Numbers stations have been used by various international spy agencies to communicate with the agents in the field. A typical numbers station will repeat an endless series of numbers, only a tiny portion of which actually carry any meaning. It's the needle-in-a-haystack approach to secure encryption. Via One Man Safari.

1,159 Naughty Words

Gay_usaI've long been in favor of the FCC issuing a list of words which are no longer allowed on radio and television. I think it would actually make it easier for DJs to express themselves on the ordinary (but currently banned) topics of sexuality and excretion. But after seeing this list of 1,159 banned words from the National Football League, I'm having second thoughts. And what the hell is a "420" or a "deaper?"These are the words that the NFL wont print on their popular personalized NFL jersies. Full story here, via outsports.com.

April 29, 2005

Imagine...

Dubya singing Imagine and Walk on the Wild Side (MP3). Here's the collection it came from. More Dubya remixes here. Thanks to Listener Michael.

Do Geese See God?

Baby_gramps2_1Here's an MP3 of Palindromes, performed by Baby Gramps on WFMU in June of 1988, hosted by Nicholas Hill. Baby Gramps is a Seattle based performer who is best described as a cross between Popeye and a Tuvan Throat Singer. This track is his crowd-pleasing ode to palindromes, words, phrases (or in his case, entire books) that are spelled the same backwards and forwards. Not to be confused with the current Todd Solondz movie.

April 28, 2005

She Be She Strike

Inuit_accordian_3Eskimo Radio MP3s: Ayatollah Khomeini, You Are My Sunshine, Labatt's Beer Ad, Heart of Stone, Marijuana Humor.

The story and the tapes began circulating around the cassette underground in the early-eighties: an Inuit Radio station operated in Northern Canada by the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (CBC) was vacated by its regular staff due to a CBC strike, and the station was temporarily programmed by its Eskimo janitor and his buddies. The phrase "She Be She Strike" (CBC Strike) can be heard repeatedly on portions of the tape which are not excerpted here, but the truth may never be known until the language can be identified and a native speaker translates the entire recording, hint hint.

The story isn't too far-fetched though; the CBC operates dozens of Inuit radio stations through it's Northern Service, and the record shows that they've had their fair share of strikes over the years. You can listen to some of the Inuit stations over the net these days, like this daytime-only station (Windows Media feed).

Continue reading "She Be She Strike" »

April 27, 2005

Podcast Number Fifteen: Coffee To Go

Ipod_cartoonWe launched our fifteenth podcast today, Noah Zark's podcast of underground, unreleased hip-hop, Coffee to Go. This is our second podcast-only show and our first podcast-only music show. You can download the MP3 of the first Coffee to Go here, and you can sign up to receive all future shows (and our 14 other podcasts) on our podcast page. You can also listen to Coffee to Go as a streaming archive on this page. There will be a new MP3 of Coffee to Go every other Wednesday at Noon, starting today. Noah describes his new show:

"When it comes to hip-hop, radio either supports the major label funded sounds or the independently released up & comers. Where do unsigned acts go? Look no further; "Coffee 2 Go" is THEE spot to drop your most raw and grimey unmastered demos! The half-hour shows are hosted by Noah Zark, DJ BrownBum and The Custodian Of Records. Download the MP3 of the show every other week as a new batch of tracks gets their due! A new edition of the show will be available for download or streaming every other Wednesday."

April 26, 2005

Jersey City: Get Laid, Be Happy

HulagalHot on the heels of being dubbed America's eleventh sexiest city, WFMU's hometown of Jersey City has now been crowned the country's third happiest place to live. Not to mention that we are the single most happy city on the entire eastern seaboard! Sez volunteer Therese, who notified us of our new distinction:

First we're the 11th sexiest, now the 3rd happiest.  Or maybe we're the third happiest because we're the 11th sexiest?  I'll leave that to the statisticians to determine..

What's not to be happy about? Our mayor is affectionately known as Diaperman, we're sitting atop a bubbling cauldron of toxic chromium and the Muslim and Coptic Christian communities are buddies once again! We're Happy! Living Happily! Now we're veritable heroes of happiness! (MP3s)

Article here.

April 25, 2005

State of the Art Cheesy Euro Disco

VitalicIs Vitalic the current incarnation of Baccara and Dschinghis Khan or am I just a sucker for rotating engine blocks, silver go-go boots and air guitar? Watch the video for his song My Friend Dario and judge for yourself (edited Quicktime movie). At first I thought that this video was one of those new-fangled fake viral movies put out by some net-slumming corporation to hawk its wares (in this case, some new kind of car engine). But no, it appears that Vitalic is really a Frenchman named Pascal Arbez who is committed to carrying the mantle of ridiculous European disco into the 21st century, his football helmet held high.

Pray For Refreshment

Prayer_logoWant to pray for President Bush but dont know where to begin? Just click here for the Presindential Prayer Team's website, which provides up-to-date prayer guidelines pertaining to the prevailing agenda and itinerary of the executive branch. It's kind of like buying one of those books of sample lottery numbers if you can't think of a lottery number of your very own. On the President's current prayer agenda: praying for "refreshment" at the presidential ranch in Crawford, Texas, and praying for the removal of roadblocks standing in the way of confirming capable judges, whatever the hell that might mean! And be sure the check out the Presidential Prayer Team radio spots, including this one (MP3) about how God protected George Washington despite being shot four times! You could become immortal too, if you would only join the Presidential Prayer Team!

April 19, 2005

The Anti-Edit

Nwa_cover_400pxFor those of you who like your curse words unencumbered by annoying non-profanity, here is the entire NWA album, Straight Outa Compton, with all the adjacent non-curse words edited out. Thanks Steinski! Like the site says, hurry, before they get their cease and desist letter.

April 14, 2005

A Public Service Announcement

Problemas_socialesThe best public service announcement we ever received was this one here (MP3 download), which was mailed to every radio station in the country by Donald Wildmon's American Family Association, which apparently still harbors fantasies of liberal gestapo squads shoveling heaps o' Bibles into the secular humanist bonfire. No word on whether this magical piece of radio theater generated the million signatures they were aiming for.

After that, the silver medal for funniest PSA has to go to Father Harry, God Squad.   I dont have the record handy, but the streaming realaudio is here. It's a touching tale of a young boy who loved his mother so much that he was forced to cut off his hands. Or should I say hand. Since he already lost the first one in an unfortunate fishing accident.

MonografiadrogasThe Mexican government has a tradition of printing up public service posters with wonderful artwork portraying the hazards of Alcoholismo, La Prostitucion, the scourge of Drogadiccion and Los Problemas Sociales in general.

While no satire can top Donald Wildmon or Father Harry, that doesn't stop people from trying. Ebaum's world remixed a batch of GI Joe video PSAs, which earned them a Cease and Desist letter from GI Joe's parents. And then there was Evolution Contol Committee's We Will Rock You PSA (Streaming Realaudio).

But the ultimate Public Service Announcement - the Holy Grail for PSA hunters - is an Arthur Godfrey clip which was recorded at the behest of President Dwight Eisenhower during the height of the cold war in the mid-Fifties. Godfrey recorded an announcement which was to be aired only in the event that the US was attacked with Russian nuclear weapons. After all, who better to calm raw, irradiated nerves than the man who sang that great paean to abused women, Slap Her Down Again, Paw!

April 10, 2005

The Happy Listener's Guide To Mind Control

Mind_title_3Back in the waning days of the Cold War, I made a cassette compilation of corporate, religious and political propaganda called The Happy Listener's Guide to Mind Control, and I offered it to donating listeners as a fundraising tchotchke for our 1991 fundraiser. Fifteen years, one new world order and countless layers of Orwellianism later, the MP3s for the Happy Listener's Guide found me, so I'm hypnotically compelled to offer the contents up once again, free of charge this time. Thanks to whoever took the time to rip them!

Continue reading "The Happy Listener's Guide To Mind Control" »

April 08, 2005

Cleaning Out My Inbox

The_boxSince we started up this blog, I'm collecting more links and such than I can possibly deal with. So I've decided to periodically clear out ye olde inbox and post them all list-style. Here goes:

* Stiff, Teutonic Countrified New Wave by Tex Haper, ca. 1984. (Realvideo stream, via Listener Zach.)
* Art by Bob Dodd.
* The Found Footage Festival Preview (Quicktime video)
* Hyperpatriotic Bombast video (about 86 people sent me this link, thanks to all)
* The American Nazi take on The Pope. (Thanks, Bryce, ya fuckin' Nazi!)
* Great Os Mutantes video. (via Bedazzled)
* A homemade Balloon organ, via Listener Erella.
* McDonalds Paying Off Rappers to namecheck Micky Dees. (BBC, via David S.)
* World War Two embroidered patches, many based on Disney.
* Time Travel and Teleportation Coming Soon.
* You Are A Fucking Cunt.
* Silly molecules, via listener Mark.
* Amazing space images from Hubble.
* Luciferian Talk Radio.

Worst. Standup. Ever.

Pearl_grossCheck out the comic stylings of Aunt Pearl. If you've had plenty of coffee, that is. Her brother Bob is quite the card. Dont miss the tortured warblings of John Daker, either. (wmv movie files for download)

From a public access TV show, which contains still more existential exercises in ennui, all of which can be found here.

April 05, 2005

The DJ Pope

Pope_laptopAll this talk about banging the Pope with a silver hammer to make sure he's dead, and how he was a rock star. I don't know about the silver hammer story, but this pope wasn't a rock star, he was better than a rock star - he was a DJ! He had a night (author makes internationally accepted gesture of DJ'ing by holding cupped left hand to ear while making scratching motion with right hand) - the best night of any DJ in the whole sanctified world! Sure he was a laptopper, but that counts! Sony actually put out a legit CD of The Pope's mixes in 1999. It was called Abba Pater. Download "Cristo E Liberazione," the hit single from it, here. Still don't believe me? Download your faith with another DJ Pope - Shelley Pope, aka The Black Pope - instead.

April 04, 2005

Your Space Exploration Dollars At Work

Eva_robotWhat's NASA been up to? Apparently, designing talking robot heads based on stoned teenage girls. Introducing Eva. (.mov video file, via fazed.net)

Your Emergency Preparedness Dollars At Work

The air staff at WFMU has grown accustomed to the electronic ravings of our Emergency Alert System unit. Periodically, it starts spitting out nonsense about an officially sanctioned "Unknown Event" which we are duty-bound to inform the public about, under penalty of federal fines. Then of course, there was that certain Tuesday in September when the unit didn't utter a peep, because (as the FCC told us later) certain emergencies (like truths) are "self-evident."

CivilemergencyThis is the $3,000 unit that the federal government forced us to purchase and install in our main studio so that the WFMU staff could keep you, the public, informed in the event of an emergency. (The fact that the likes of us are entrusted with such a duty should tell you something about the system's shortcomings right there.) But this past weekend, our beloved EAS unit pulled a fast one on us. It issued a "Civil Emergency Message"  issued by "A Civil Authority." Glen Jones was perplexed enought to call me at home about it. Announce it, I advised, and announce it Jones did. We had to announce it - that's the law. But what was the civil emergency - was Canada invading at last? Flaming hailstones? A mysterious odor? And who was the mysterious civil authority making this mysterious pronouncement - the governor? The mayor? The dogcatcher? Ours was not to understand - as broadcasters, we are merely proxies for passing on this momentous piece on non-information to the public at large, the better to quell public fears and sow utter confusion.

Checking the news later, it would be fair to assume that the civil emergency was related to the floodingArk_1 caused by this weekend's rains. In which case it might have been useful to warn people of something specific, like.. flooding. But the flood warnings ceased a while before the civil emergency warnings began. Ah well. At least it wasn't an "unknown event."

Maybe next time, for clarity's sake, we'll throw on Johnny Cash's German language version of Five Feet High and Rising. (MP3).

Three More WFMU Shows Being Podcast

Dog_cast_2Three more WFMU shows are being podcast, bringing to fourteen the total number of WFMU programs which you can subscribe to and have the MP3 archive automagically delivered to your computer and/or MP3 player.

Our three most recent entries into the podcast realm are Bronwyn's brand new talk show, Wise Up; Chris T's new FCC-unfriendly podcast-only show, Communication Breakdown; and the favorite gospel program of Jesus himself, Sinner's Crossroads with Kevin Nutt. A full listing of all of our podcast shows, with RSS feeds and instructions on how to get it all working are on our podcast central page. Of course, you can also download any of these shows manually, but everyone already knows how to do that, dont they?

April 02, 2005

Madonna and Eggs

Madonna_skullLong before she had her way with David Mamet and Lina Wurtmuller, Madonna had her way with...eggs. As evidenced in this video clip from her student days at the University of Michigan, she downs raw yolks a la Sly Stallone and does her best imitation of a skillet. via Blowupdoll. (asf file, will play with Windows Media Player)

Toilet Trees

Problem: Toilet plungers are vile, embarrassing, vengeful creatures.

Solution: Toilet Trees.

Submitted by Listener Marcy.

DJ Riko's Whistler's Delight

Whistlers_delightA few listeners contacted me about a track by DJ Riko, called Whistler's Delight, so I thought I'd post it for you all. Download the MP3 here. It's kind of a "Stars on 45" for the whistling set. DJ Riko has a ton of other MP3 remixes for download here along with the full track listing of Whistler's Delight.

April 01, 2005

Medieval Technology In Action: WFMU's New Antenna

March 29th, 2005. A day to ascend to the heavens - despite the fact that The Rapture wasn't scheduled for another six years, two months and three days. The last snow of the year was still on the ground and a light drizzle was falling as WFMU set out to replace it's 91.1 FM antenna. 016b_tower_framedBy the end of the day, the sun broke out and WFMU signed back on the air, pumping out a better signal than ever. The technology that made it happen spanned millenia, from ancient and medieval devices like axles, wheels, ropes and winches, to the old fashioned twentieth century art of tower climbing by eccentric tower guys, to the high tech back-seat-of-your-car computer analysis of the whole operation. Not to mention the laser guided hole cutter which carved out the precision entry system for the transmission cable. There's a photo gallery of the day's exciting events, and a batch of avi movie files for your downloading pleasure. Click here for the photo gallery, and here is a list of the movie files for downloading:

Johnny pulls some rope to send the new cable to the top of the tower. Download AVI file here.

Dave and Al hang out up top as the storm breaks up. Download AVI file here.

Johnny uses precision guidance systems to cut the transmission cable. Download AVI file here.

WFMU Chief Engineer John Fog tunes up the new antenna. Download AVI file here.

March 20, 2005

Article on Yo La Tengo Request-a-Thon

Today's issue of Jersey's Star Ledger has an article about the annual Yo La Tengo Request-a-Thon.

March 14, 2005

How to be a WFMU DJ

How_to_be_dj_2Here's an interesting piece of WFMU history: In 1985 when I became Station Manager of WFMU, one of the new DJs I gave a slot to was Neal Adams, who had a background as a commercial rock DJ. Unlike most WFMU DJs, Neal has one of those resonant radio voices, and his years working as a commercial jock had given him a totally different delivery than your typical FMU host. Although I liked Neal's show, there were some listeners and staffers who felt that Neal sounded too slick or commercial for WFMU. Irwin and I decided to give him an on-air training on how to sounds more like a "regular" WFMU DJ. Here is a realaudio clip (download only) of this segment from 1985 or 1986. Thanks to Lipwak for uncovering this.

Here are Neal's own recollections:

I was quite nervous about sounding "too commercial" when I first started on FMU. I had just finished working at a pretty bad commercial station in Westchester during the Phil Collins Susudio era and wondered if I now sounded like a complete outcast on FMU no matter how many Crass or Lilliput records I played.

I remember driving home from my show one day and hearing another DJ who I barely knew take a call from a weird-sounding crank, to which the DJ commented, "Well he certainly sounds like he belongs on WFMU more than that last guy!" Ouch, that hurt.

I let both Ken and Irwin know I was extremely self-consicious that my whole delivery and presentation may not fit in with the rest of the station. I truly stopped worrying after receiving the "How to Be an FMU DJ" lesson because we were all making fun of the whole notion of what's "artistic" vs. "professional" when it comes to radio, and from that point on I stopped taking it so seriously.

March 11, 2005

Demons Nesting In Brian Wilson's Body

WilsonIrwin submits this windows video file for your consideration.

Warner Brothers Records president Lenny Waronker claims to have encountered at least five different entities that use Brian Wilson's body as their home.

March 09, 2005

Miracle on Montgomery Street

Grilledcodger4Crowd_outside_1Today, March 9th 2005 will forever be remembered as the day the hand of the almighty reached down and touched WFMU. I'd go into more detail, but I'm on the air right now and our marathon is underway.

This morning listener Greg went to the diner down the street from WFMU - the Flamingo Diner - and he ordered a grilled cheese sandwich. When the sandwich arrived, it miraculously contained the image of WFMU's mascot, The Old Codger. The image is in way too much detail for this to be a mere coincidence. Sure, there are those who will write this off as a mere coincidence, but true believers in freeform radio will see this for what it truly is - the beginning of the golden age of all manner of grilled cheese and patty melt related sandwiches.

On this day, the power of the supreme being has touched WFMU.

The sandwich was brought over to WFMU and we started talking about it on the air. The next thing I know, there's a crowd outside our building asking to see the sandwich. At first there were a few people and we let them in. Then a dozen. Then more. We had to stop letting people in. We are now completely under siege. Hundreds of people are outside. The news crews have arrived.

The miraculous sandwich has now been sealed in acrylic and has been posted on eBay for a benefit auction for WFMU. The winning bid amount will be commensurate with the appropriate level of WFMU swag, in addition to this holiest of cheese sandwiches.

March 08, 2005

Andy Breckman is a Bad Man

HenrySince it's marathon time here at WFMU, I'd like to remind everyone just what an awful (albeit wealthy) person Andy Breckman is.

Last week on Seven Second Delay, Andy made a nine-year old boy cry. This isn't the first time Andy's made someone cry. Several years ago, he called a listener's elderly relative in a nursing home and drove poor Aunt Tess to tears.

Continue reading "Andy Breckman is a Bad Man" »

March 07, 2005

Sensei Rebel's Favorites

Sensei_1Listener Sensei Rebel posts his favorite songs and moments from the last week of WFMU, in streaming MP3 and streaming Realaudio. (Via the WFMU Messageboard.)

International
from Trouble's show, March 3, 2005
TBA - "If Your Heart Stops Beating..." MP3 | Realaudio

Ambient
from Trouble's show, March 3, 2005
ยต-Ziq - "The Wailing Song" MP3 | Realaudio

Rock
from Pseu Braun's show, March 4, 2005
Electric Six - โ€œRadio Gagaโ€ (Queen cover) MP3 | Realaudio

Dance/Techno
from Pseu Braun's show, March 4, 2005
MP3 | Realaudio

Jungle
from Nickel and Dime Radio, March 4, 2005
Kings of the Jungle - โ€œJungle Themeโ€ MP3 | Realaudio

Best Song of the Week
from Brian Turner's show, March 1, 2005
Muslimgauze - "Zibib" MP3 | Realaudio

Talk
from Chris T.'s show, March 4, 2005
Mick tells Chris he's never understood a word he's said MP3 | Realaudio

March 06, 2005

Minimal Techno Cats

Lou Z of The Push Bin on WFMU submits another nice Macromedia DJ toy for your consideration. (From Lou via Metafilter.)

Charlie and His Orchestra

The lure of the forbidden can be seen nowhere more clearly than the Parent's Television Council's filthy TV page. Here is the organization that has been responsible for generating millions of complaints to the FCC, and they make it possible to watch those delectably decadent moments over and over again.

Charlie_and_orch_1In the 1930's the Nazis had the same love/hate relationship with swing music. They outlawed it on their homefront, throwing it into  the category of "degenerate" art. But at the same time, they employed it in the service of the fatherland. Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's propaganda minister, assembled a fairly competent swing band called Charlie and His Orchestra to perform Nazified versions of the jazz hits of the day. Led by an English speaking German, Karl Schwendler, Charlie and His Orchestra broadcast on the medium-wave and short-wave bands throughout the 1930s to Canada, the US and Britain.

The idea was to lure the masses in with the irrestible tonic of swing music and then slyly work in the anti-Jewish, American and British lyrics after the second or third verse. The broadcasts of Charlie and His Orchestra were not available in the Fatherland proper, but that only enhanced their legend, and they picked up an underground following in Germany as well.

Continue reading "Charlie and His Orchestra" »

March 04, 2005

Guess the DJ Locker Contest, part 1

KitchenAs some of you know, each WFMU DJ has a locker at the station, and we use LP covers instead of name tags to mark each DJ's private cache. We're going to have a little "Guess the DJ Locker" contest here. The first person to correctly identify four correct DJs will win a WFMU messenger bag, or some other suitable WFMU Crapola if the winner already has the bag.

1) Each week, I will post a different LP cover here. You have to guess the owner of the cover that is featured here, not any of the other covers pictured in the locker picture to the left.

2) I will only show LP covers for lockers of DJs who are on the current on air schedule.

3) One guess per listener / reader per LP cover, as judged by their IP number.

4) Once the correct cover has been guessed, I will announce that on the comments list. First person to correctly identify four DJs, wins.

5) This is harder than it seems. There may not be a winner.

And here is the first mystery LP cover:

Hippies

And while you peruse the drug addled duo above, have a listen to some incredibly bad between-song comedy from a Crosby, Stills Nash and Young concert in 1970. (MP3) Thanks to listener Bruce for this clip. It captures something quite odious about the stupid 60's.

March 03, 2005

60 Versions of Sukiyaki

Sixty versions of the japanese-language hit song Sukiyaki can be found here. (via Metafilter)

New WFMU Auctions

NbnWe've got a few unusual items up for auction right now, including the Naughty By Nature bullet-proof bedsheets and pillowcases. It's true! Except for the part of them being bullet-proof. And next week we will have some great rare records to put up, just in time for the marathon. You can always check for WFMU's eBay auctions at this link. It's yet another great way to support the station and keep us free of The Man.

South By Southwest MP3s

Bob Brainen found this page of MP3 downloads from many of  the band's playing later this month at South by Southwest in Austin. Grab them before the host has to take them down! Link.

March 02, 2005

Cheesy Euro-Disco and Dschinghis Khan

DschinghiskhancoverFor several years, I've had an LP cover by the 1970's German disco band Dschinghis Khan gracing the cover of my DJ locker at WFMU. So imagine my surprise when Bryce mailed me this music video (mpeg video file) of the band doing a fantastic cheesy cossack disco dance number! And then when Nachum Segal saw my Dschinghis Khan LP this morning, he screams, "Dschinghis Khan, they're huge in Israel!" And then Nachum send me even more Dschinghis Khan videos. Why does Israel go crazy for bands like Dschinghis Khan, Baccara and t.A.T.u.? (MP3s) Why do I?

Don't answer that.

March 01, 2005

Thank You Ted Stevens

Stevens_2The very influential and powerful Senator Ted Stevens has said that the FCC is doing such a great job enforcing the broadcast airwaves, that they should also start policing cable TV and satellite radio, (where they currently have no jurisdiction to regulate "indecent" speech). All it would take is a congressional act to give the FCC the power to start censoring HBO and Sirius Satellite Radio, to name a few services that would see their first amendment rights reigned in. And guess what - there is a congressional act just laying around - it's called the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act (BDEA), and the House passed it's preliminary version of the bill 389-38 on February 16th.

So why am I thanking Senator Ted?

Because if he tries to extend the FCC's censorship to the cable and satellite industries, he will torpedo the BDEA's chance of ratification. This is what happened to the BDEA last year, when various Senators attached FCC ownership rules to the original censorship legislation. There was so much opposition to the FCC's corporate welfare program (aka "ownership rule reform") last year (on both sides of the aisle ) that the BDEA got bogged down.

I've got my fingers crossed that Stevens' attempt to extend censorship to paid subscription services will be similiarly unpopular by both groups of idiots in the House and the Senate, thereby torpedoing BDEA '05. Here's hoping!

FCC Says: "Private Ryan, Fuck Yeah!"

Mikeandbob2 It's no surprise that the FCC exonerated ABC's broadcast of Saving Private Ryan. Michael Powell had indicated this ruling was in the works a few months ago, and the decision echoes an earlier FCC ruling about an unexpurgated broadcast of the Spielberg movie in 2002. But with this decision, the FCC has now come full circle in its torrid affair with that "most profane word in the English language" (the FCC's words). As a broadcaster, I'm more confused than ever over where the line is, except that I can now rest assured that if Senator John McCain introduces an academy award-winning Steven Spielberg production about World War 2 on WFMU, our first amendment rights will be protected.

Let's review the recent history of the FCC's love/hate relationship with the F-word:

October 3, 2003: The FCC rules that the word "Fuck" is legal, as long as it's used as an adjective. This was in reference to Bono saying "fucking brilliant" as he accepted an award during the Golden Globe awards. The FCC's ruling is here. An excerpt:

"As a threshold matter, the material aired during the "Golden Globe Awards" program does not describe or depict sexual and excretory activities and organs. The word "fucking" may be crude and offensive, but, in the context presented here, did not  describe sexual or excretory organs or activities. Rather, the performer used the word "fucking" as an adjective or expletive to emphasize an exclamation. Indeed, in similar circumstances, we have found that offensive language used as an insult rather than as a description of sexual or excretory activity or organs is not within the scope of the Commission's prohibition of indecent program content."

Continue reading "FCC Says: "Private Ryan, Fuck Yeah!" " »

February 27, 2005

A Sign of Radio's True Desperation

Desperate_3In an indication of just how worried the radio industry is about competition from satellite radio (not to mention podcasting, MP3s, cable radio, video games and everything else), this pro-broadcast-radio ad has been circulating the commercial radio industry. (MP3) Nothing like yet another commercial to bring people back to a dying industry.

February 26, 2005

Yasir Arafat Spams From The Grave

An new take on an old scam, via Dan Mackta:

Dear Friend,

I am Mrs. Suha Arafat, the wife of Yasser Arafat, the Palestinian leader who died recently in Paris. Since his death and even prior to the announcement, I have been thrown into a state of antagonism, confusion, humiliation, frustration and hopelessness by the present leadership of the Palestinian Liberation Organization and the new Prime Minister. I have even been subjected to physical and psychological torture.

Continue reading "Yasir Arafat Spams From The Grave" »

Cussing More Expensive Than Radioactive Waste

Toxic_landfillRolling Stone magazine has confirmed what I had long suspected - that the FCC's language fines far exceed other governmental fines. The largest fine levied by the Nuclear (pronounced Nucular) Regulatory Agency last year was $60,000. The largest FCC fine? 1.2 million dollars, for Fox's "Married By America" bachelor party episode, in which all the bad words were edited out, and all the boobies were pixillated. A few years back, this 45-second-long ditty by Monty Python (MP3 download) garnered a $25,000 fine from the FCC, despite the fact that that the worst language in it is the phrase "Sit On My Face." And this was in the old days, before millions of American children were traumatized by being exposed to Janet Jackson's pasty for 11/32nds of one second.

A few weeks ago, I did my own brief survey of federal fines and came up with this list of non-FCC fines imposed by the Federal Government, so you can get some perspective on the current proposed laws to increase the fines for naughty phrases to half a million bucks each:

$10,000 for killing a Whooping Crane.

$54,500 for releasing anydrous ammonia into the environment.

$55,000 for illegally travelling to Cuba.

$70,000 for mishandling and mislabeling hazardous chemicals.

$116,000 for improper disposal of flammable materials and other violations.

$133,000 for exposing employees to infectious diseases.

$1.2 million for broadcasting pixillated boobs (FCC).

February 24, 2005

The Unluckier You Are, The Luckier You Get

SkydiveLike the time I almost put out my left eye because a waterski tow rope snapped right into it - everybody told me how lucky I was, despite the fact that the chances of the thing hitting me in the eye were one in a million! How 'bout if you were skydiving, and despite two instructors holding onto you (or perhaps because of them), your parachute ripped clean off your back - lucky or unlucky? And then, let's say your instructor still somehow managed to pull your back-up chute just before you hit the ground, but then you landed on top of a power line, almost electrocuting yourself - lucky, or unlucky? Download the video and decide for yourself. (Windows video file, via fazed.net)

February 22, 2005

Copyright Criminals

CcHere's a link to a ten minute long trailer for a forthcoming documentary on sampling and copyright. The doc will be called Copyright Criminals and it's by Kembrew Mcleod and Benjamin Franzen. The trailer contains clips from copright / sampling superstars Lawrence Lessig, Pete Rock, Matmos, DJ Qbert, Negativland and even our own Vicki Bennett. Link to Quicktime movie.

February 21, 2005

That Spinning Room Sensation

You know that feeling when you've had too much to drink and the room wont stop spinning? (shockwave file)

A Visual History of Whispering Imps

TampIsn't there supposed to be an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other? I guess not. Check out a visual history of whispering imps on magic posters.

Fox Promotes The Cartoon Gay Agenda

Simpsons_5Wow, Fox Television has really atoned for its pixillation of Stew's butt (from The Family Guy) with Sunday night's new episode of The Simpsons. Not only was Marge's sister Patty revealed to be gay, she was all set to marry her professional-golfer  / gay lover, when Marge discovered that said golfer was in fact carrying a fully operational cartoon penis! And that doesn't even touch on Homer's brief gay fantasy, in which he passionately and repeatedly tongue kisses himself! What are the Parent's Television Council going to say about this one? Will they include the Homer-Erotic moment on their best-of-filthy-TV page? Download an MP3 of Steinski's Simpsons remix while the PTV wraps its mind around this one.

February 20, 2005

Monkey Brain Controls Robot Arm, Moves Zucchini

Monkey_robotMonkeybrain_1Researchers at the University of Pittsburgh have developed a robotic prosthesis which is able to transport zucchini through time and space, using monkey brain power alone. Well, to be accurate, the monkey brain was housed inside a monkey body and the robotic arm was plugged into an electrical outlet. But you get the idea. It's long been established that monkeys are capable of operating complex machinery such as space craft (as evidenced by this mp3 of a historical reenactment by Monkeypiece Theatre) and "show me your breasts" buttons, but in this case, the monkey literally had his hands tied behind his back! (Thanks to Barb Economon / KFAI for the mp3.)

February 19, 2005

New York Times Takes On The Cartoon Butt Issue

Page32_2It is said that a society's worth can be measured by the amount of cartoon butts it leaves exposed.

If that old maxim is true, then we're living in a golden age.

In tomorrow's edition of the Arts and Leisure section, The New York Times joins Fox News in its journalistic disregard for accuracy in the coverage of the cartoon buttocks issue.

You may recall that in January, Fox television executives were compelled by the FCC's indecency crackdown to pixillate the exposed butt of Stew, a cartoon character on the animated Fox series The Family Guy. Page1_1

In the February 20 edition of the New York Times Arts and Leisure section, page 32 contains a full page photo-essay about MTV's promotional spots and imagery. In the image above, you can see the MTV images which The Times reprinted, with the caption:

"This on-air promotion used simple animation and graphics to parody sexual stereotypes."

But a Times editor apparently found the hand-on-butt action too saucy for the cover of Arts and Leisure, so they ran with a screenshot which leaves hand and butt romantically unattached. The meaning that is so clear on page 32, which is even funny (fulfilling The New York Times humor quotient until April, 2006), is completely lost. But at least nobody can accuse The Times of promoting the gay agenda!

At  least Fox has the FCC to answer to. What's the old grey lady's excuse? Why is it OK to run gay marriage announcements, but it's not OK to show clearly non-gay cartoon characters (the baseball players), expressing sportsmanlike camaraderie in a realistic fashion? At least on the front page of Section Two, anyway.

UPDATE: I corrected this post to reflect the fact that The Times did not in fact airbrush the images on page 32, but rather used a different screenshot from the  MTV animation in order to protect society from the North American Cartoon Hand-Butt Love Association.

History of Punk on the Lower East Side

Lewis_jeffrey2Has everybody heard Jeffrey Lewis' "History of Punk on the Lower East Side?" Stream it in: Realaudio or MP3.  It's a nine-minute tour de force tracking New York punk from Harry Smith to the New York Dolls. Thanks to listener Thelma for sending it along to us. When and if we get permission for an MP3 download, we'll make it available.

February 18, 2005

Marathon 2005

Zing_final2The annual combination-potlatch -barnraising -self-abasement-festival that is known as the WFMU marathon is upon us! Our new marathon pages are up!  See the new line of swag, our DJs new premiums, the remodeled Mouse prize warehouse, the unfinished co-hosts and webcam schedule. Oh, did I forget to explain what the marathon is? Check marathon central. The marathon runs from March 7th to March 20th.

Beatallica Gets Cease and Desist Letter

Sony has issued a cease and desist letter (pdf file) to Beatallica's Internet Service Provider to prevent the further dissemination of songs like this. (mp3)

Deep Wireless Festival in Toronto

Deep_wirelessThere's not many radio festivals out there, much less radio art festivals, but a big one is coming up in Toronto for the month of May. The Deep Wireless Festival will feature a month-long celebration of radio art, radio artists, sound artists, sound installations, and even broadcasting! Among other radio artists in residence at the festival will be Gregory Whitehead, of Kenny G's scream-a-thon fame. (mp3)

People Like Us Being Podcast

Plu_podcastOur eleventh show is now being podcast - People Like Us' Do or D.I.Y. Just like with The Audio Kitchen, these podcasts are not new shows - they're MP3 downloads of the older shows that were previously broadcast. Every Wednesday at 7pm, we'll be making an MP3 available of a Do or D.I.Y. show, making it possible to have this MP3 delivered automagically to your computer and/or your iPod.

The WFMU podcast page is here, and it contains a list of the eleven shows we're podcasting, plus instructions and links on how to get it all happening.

Actually, all this hoopla about podcasting is really overblown, since our listeners have been downloading our shows onto their iPods for years already. It's just the automatic part of the process that makes it new.

But the hoopla about People Like Us isn't overblown. There are lots of cut-up artists and sonic manipulators out there, but Vicki Bennett is in a league all her own. If you dont know her work, check the People Like Us website or go to WFMU artist search engine, run a search for People Like Us and follow the links to the playlists that have clickable song links. She's my favorite sound artist working today.

And big thanks to Doron, Michael and Bill for getting our podcasts off the ground.

February 17, 2005

Italian DJ Fined 1.4 Million For Illegal MP3s

Mp3_police2Quello รจ porco molto!

An Italian DJ was fined 1.4 million big ones for dragging a laptop full of MP3s down to a club.

via FMBQ.

February 16, 2005

38 House Members Stand Up To New Puritanism

The House voted 389-38 to increase indecency fines for radio and TV stations from the current cap of $32,500 to half a million dollars. And of course, the bill doesn't require the FCC to clarify or state their criteria for what constitutes indecency. The Senate still has to approve its own version of the bill, and then a compromise bill will need to be hammered out, approved by both houses and signed by Bush. This whole process failed last year due to the FCC ownership controversy, but that issue is now finalized so the bill is expected to be succesful this time around.

The House version approved today would:

Raise the maximum fine for broadcasters from $32,500 to $500,000 per violation, and for individual entertainers from $11,000 to $500,000 per incident. The fines are the same for non-commercial and commercial stations alike.

Allow the FCC to issue a fine against an individual without first issuing a warning.

Mandate a license revocation hearing after a third offense for a broadcaster. The FCC currently can hold such a hearing after the first offense, but is not required to do so.

Require the FCC to respond to a consumer's indecency complaint within six months.

Include protections for network affiliate stations that did not know what was to be broadcast by the network so they are not held responsible for indecent programming.

The Fuck Stops Here

Fstop450_1As you can see, my job has been reengineered somewhat by the FCC's indecency crackdown.

Today, the Senate gets its own ball rolling on the Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act (BDEA), as  the Senate Judiciary Subcommittee on Constitution, Civil Rights and Property Rights considers obscenity issues. They'll be discussing things like whether they should increase the fines to half a million dollars per cuss (like the House version of the bill) or whether they should take a stand for American values like free speech, and raise the maximum fine to a mere $350,000 per cuss (even if its not really a cuss). Meanwhile, the full House is expected to approve the House version of the bill today or tomorrow.

It makes me long for the enlightened days of the Hays code, when censorship consisted of a good, old fashioned list which clearly spelled out what you could and couldn't say or show in the movies. The FCC adamently refuses to issue such a list these days, repeatedly saying that to issue a list would amount to censorship. And the Supreme Court has reminded the FCC that, in between compelling broadcasters to pixillate the butts of cartoon characters, please be careful not to do anything that might restrict freedom of speech. After all, freedom of speech is what us merkins stand for, isn't it? What would those people in the insect nations think of us if we started restricting speech?

Meanwhile, the lobbying is heating up for a new FCC chairman who will take this issue seriously already! That Michael Powell was just a big softy on smut! So said a coalition of 30 House republicans in a letter to President Bush. And plenty of religious groups are also piping in, trying to get their boy Kevin Martin in to fill Powell's shoes. With Martin at the helm and anti-smut trailblazer Michael Copps at his side, and the BDEA filling their sails with wind, the next incarnation of the FCC could make the Hays code look like the golden age of the first amendment. Maybe that's not such a bad thing. It might finally force the issue to the Supreme Court, where the FCC stands a good chance of being rejected.

While some broadcasters and unions are toying with the idea of challenging the constitutionality of the FCC's current approach to this issue, it's tough to do, since the FCC effectively blackmails all broadcasters willing to take a stand on this with their oft-repeated threat to yank away broadcast licenses.

Eric Idle has the right idea. (MP3)

February 15, 2005

Brush Creek Follies on KMBC

KmbcHere's a great site dedicated to an old hillbilly radio show called The Brush Creek Follies from Kansas City. Alternate link here. Lot of great photos, audio links and video.

More Goodies From The Bandwidth Fairy

Bandwidth_fairy2With the installation of our extra bandwidth proceeding swimmingly, we can really start rolling out the goodies for our online listeners.

First off, if you're listening to WFMU's live MP3 streams, the Accuplaylist info will now start appearing in the player itself. This is only true if the DJ at the time is actually doing an Accuplaylist (typing in the names of the songs and artists they play on the air in real time as their show proceeds). There is a page which lists all Accuplaylist DJs here.

In the past, you would've needed a separate web page open to see the song title info. Now you can see it within your player, whether you're using Winamp, iTunes, or Realplayer (and my condolences to you if you're still using Realplayer). The song titling will also appear in other, less popular players.

Moving our streams away from Live365 will also mean that our live MP3 stream will hopefully stop experiencing those outages which had been happening with increasing frequency.

Later this year we are going to experiment with changing the live MP3 stream to a variable bit rate stream, which means that the fidelity will improve for people with good solid broadband connections. Also on the agenda of the Bandwidth Fairy: experimenting with the new format of AAC Plus, which should give improved stream fidelity for all broadband listeners.

February 13, 2005

Silence of the Lambs Video Mashup

I'm not sure that Andy Breckman would've cast Ted Levine as Captain Stottlemeyer on his little TV show Monk if he had seen his earlier music video work. (The Greenskeepers streaming video clip "Lotion") Not Safe for work: music or video.

My Bathroom is a "Private" Kind of Place

Houston_toilet1_1Everybody like a little privacy while going to the bathroom, right? That's why we run off into the bushes when nature calls on the great highway of life. (MP3 download of American Standard's pro-bathroom privacy anthem.)

Listener Stephanie submits these two pictures of a new public bathroom in Houston. (Apparently, London also sported one of these last Fall.) On the outside, it looks innocent enough - clean even! Mirrored walls suggest a public toilet that might not require you to turn your smeller off for the entire experience. But take a step inside and the walls are revealed to be one-way mirrors.  Houston_toilet2_3Now you're taking a dump in the middle of a town square, surrounded by your fellow citizens. You got a problem with that?

The toilets are the brainchild of artist Monica Bonvicini who wanted to see if people would "defy their own embarrassment" by using the free public stalls, which operate under the title "Don't Miss A Sec." Of course, these mirrored outhouses also happens to be a godsend for folks who like to have sex with themselves or others, but prefer to avoid the pesky imprisonment that sometimes accompanies such behavior.

I think I''d prefer the public toilets of Berlin, which descend into the bowels of the earth on an elevator in between uses, where they are sprayed and disinfected with post-Nazi-like precision. But that's just me.

R. Stevie Moore in Today's New York Times

I know I just mentioned R. Stevie Moore a few days ago, but lo and behold, today's New York Times has a great profile of the man and his union jack geetar. And here's an MP3 of his song Colliding Circles, which was in heavy WFMU rotation back when I first started doing a show.

February 12, 2005

DJ Food's Raiding the 20th Century

Dj_food_1To celebrate the long-awaited arrival of our cheap bandwidth, and to test the limits of our servers as well as my own common sense, I'm making this great hour-long celebration of sampling, mashups and general sonic tomfoolery available for 36 hours or so. It's called Raiding the 20th Century - Words and Music Expansion featuring Paul Morley, and it's by Strictly Kev, although DJ Food also figures in here somewhere also.

I played a few excerpts of this on my show last Wednesday, but frankly, my attention span has suffered irreversible damage from years of living in New Jersey, so I didnt play anywhere near the whole thing and probably wouldn't until next summer, when Re:Mixology will hopefully come back on our schedule.

So download this sucker while it's available, if you got yourself one of them new-fangled broadband connections. It's over 70mb tall, so be patient. Big Momma MP3 Download.

UPDATE: Our server is handling this file just fine, so I'm going to leave it up after all.

February 11, 2005

Momentum Gaining in Opposition to Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act!

Are we making progress? Twice as many congressmen voted "no" when this year's version of the "Broadcast Decency Enforcement Act" came up for a vote on Wednesday before the House Energy and Commerce Committee. Yes, this time around, two legislators voted against the bill that would increase the fines for a single randy comment to half a million dollars. Last year, only one representativie dared vote against the measure. But hats off to Janice Schakowsky (D-Ill.) and Henry Waxman (D-Calif.) for standing up for free speech. Their courageous vote will no doubt be used against them when they come up for reelection.

At this rate of added enlightenment, the House Commerce Committee will come to its senses around... 2027. Is my inner smut-peddler starting to show through? Bear in mind that we're not talking about fines for the seven dirty words anymore. Those days are long gone. I'd give anything to have a list of offensive words, phrases or topics that  we as broadcasters aren't allowed to utter. No, the FCC is acting like a highway authority that keeps issuing larger and larger speeding tickets, but refuses to post the speed limit. For a few years now (dating back well before Janet Jackson's pasty was exposed for 19/32nds of a second), any euphemism, or even scrambled, indecipherable words which happen to tingle the hineys of at least three out of five FCC commisioners could result in larger and larger fines and threats of lost broadcast licenses. 

Delaybutton2_1To the left, you can see how I am using my hands these days while doing my radio show. Finally our show Seven Second Delay is appropriately titled. Thanks to the FCC's sword of Damocles hanging over our head, we've installed a fancy new delay unit which delays our broadcasts by 14 seconds, allowing us two seven second dumps before we have to break out the automatic weapons on the offending source material.

And how about that Paul McCartney? All his lyrics about nymphomaniac transvestites and dope peddlers notwithstanding, (realaudio archive of Laibach's version of "Get Back") the FCC still received it's first ever complaints about a broadcast being offensive due to it's sheer, mind-numbing dullness.

February 10, 2005

Why Connecticut Was Evacuated

Eas2Now that I've finally kicked all those snooty Connecticut residents out of our basement, the truth can finally be told. Connecticut was ordered evacuated last week because someone in the Connecticut Office of Emergency Management hit the wrong button.

Oh sure, they issued statements saying that someone "issued the wrong code." That sounds so fancy and technical - "issuing the wrong code." But in fact, the whole Emergency Alert System in the country is built on a bunch of cheesy plastic buttons that are marked with notations like "Avalanche," or "Severe Thunderstorm," or the ever-popular "Immediate Evacuation." We also receive warnings about "Unknown Events" (really, we do!) but I have been instructed by the authorities to never label a button with that title.

What you see above is the actual section of WFMU's own Emergency Alert System unit, which is conveniently placed at kneecap level so as to encourage the accidental evacuation of entire states and regions. Now in WFMU's case, we've taken the precaution of having all of our DJ's kneecaps surgically altered to prevent this from happening. But in Connecticut it's apparently a different story. I've heard that the state is full of emergency preparedness officers who drunkenly wander their agencies corridors, peeing into potted plants and bumping into evacuation buttons.

Next time I need to go to Massachusetts, I'm taking a ferry.

The Numa Numa Song

Listener John from Oslo, our Scandinavian correspondent, submits this movie  for your  consideration.  The group is called Haiducii, which apparently means "The Outlaws" in Romanian. Romanian and English lyrics are available on this page.

February 09, 2005

R Stevie Moore's WFMU Song

Stevie_1Since I posted Crazy Mary's, how-shall-we-say... historically accurate WFMU song, I have to post another piece of WFMU history, R. Stevie Moore's  song, "Pledge Your Money"  (MP3 link) The phone number is no longer in service, so don't call it! If you haven't checked out Stevie's WFMU program archive,  you should. When I first started listening to the station in 1983, his shows blew me away and were one of the reasons I made the trek to East Orange.

Science Song MP3s

EnergyListener Jake sez:  Here is a page with mp3s from a collection of 50s/60s science records. Some nice tunes, very WFMUish. I've seen some of these records around but this is the first time I've seen them mp3ized.

February 08, 2005

Baghdad Radio

Faber_img_0010_1Lest you think that nobody in the military listens to WFMU, here is a picture of WFMU Listener Corporal Richard Faber, posing in Baghdad next to his truck, which is sporting the 2004 WFMU Bumper Sticker.

Colonel Faber recently e-mailed me and asked if I could send him some MP3 archives of his favorite FMU shows, such as Kenny G, The Audio Kitchen and Fabio, to name but a few. 

The notion that he might be listening to Kenny and Irwin doing their Karaoke version of Meatloaf while the mortars fly into his compound boggles the mind.

No matter how self-indulgent Kenny might get, it sure as hell must beat the local radio fare  (MP3).

Indecency Bill Picking Up Steam

Churchsign2As bad as things are with the FCC's indecency crackdown, we are now scheduled to descend a few circles of hell lower, as the House Commerce Committee is scheduled on Wednesday to approve the "Indecency Enforcement Act of 2005," which would increase the fines for references deemed to be naughty from the current $32,500 to $500,000. Not that the FCC or Congress would do anything to restrict free speech or anything like that. That would be wrong. Story here.

February 07, 2005

Crazy Mary's WFMU Song

The band Crazy Mary recorded this song for us and the amazing thing is how historically accurate it is, right down to the year Vin Scelsa started freeform programming on FMU, what night he was on, FMU early influences (WBAI), the FCC non-duplication rule fer Godsakes!

Now if I just had a copy of Chris Knox' "WFMU" song from his benefit at Westbeth ten years ago, I'd be  complete.

Two More Podcast Shows

Fresh on the heels of adding Dave Emory to the list of WFMU shows that are being podcast, I'm happy to say that we've added two more: Downtown Soulville with Mr. Finewine, and The Audio Kitchen with The Professor. You can get the full skinny on our podcasts on our podcast page.

Downtown Soulville  is currently on the air on Friday nights at 7pm, and features tons of great (mostly) Detroit based soul from the golden era. The Audio Kitchen was a show that featured found sound - thrift shop cassettes, answering machine tapes, home recorded travelogues and the like. It's not currently on the air (although the realaudio archives  are still up) because of the hundreds of hours The Professor needed to produce it on a weekly basis. The Audio Kitchen podcasts are the MP3 archives of the old Audio Kitchen shows that The Professor produced back when the show aired weekly. We'll make a "new" Audio Kitchen MP3 podcast available every Wednesday night.

ComplacencykillsPodcasting simply automates the process of downloading our MP3 archives onto your computer or portable MP3 player. We're somewhat limited by the copyright police as to which shows we're able to make available this way, but don't you worry - we'll find more and more shows to put into your iPod. Soon to come will be People Like Us' Do or D.I.Y.,  and Noah is working on a podcast-only show of underground and unreleased hip hop.

So we're up to ten podcast shows, and more to come. Download ipodder  already and get aboard!

January 15, 2005

Its the thought that counts

So there I was at the gym this morning with all the other hamster people, running on my exercise wheel while listening to The Kleptones on my iPod, when I started noticing an interesting football film clip being repeated on various TV screens around the place. Some player from the Minnesota Vikings was shown scoring a touchdowm then leaning over and rubbing his hiney against the goalpost. What's the big deal with that? Since I'm a TV watcher, and not a TV listener, it was difficult to figure out what was so scandalous about this end zone dance, but apparently the player was fined $10,000 for it.

Moss270Turns out the player is Randy Moss from the Minnesota Vikings, and he was fined $10,000 by the NFL for mooning the opposing team's fans after his touchdown.

Only problem is, he didn't moon anybody. Last I heard, mooning involved pulling down your pants and baring your butt cheeks at the intended moon-ee. Moss only pretended to pull his pants down, as you can see.

No matter. In the post-Orwellian age in which we live, it's the thought that counts. The NFL has taken a page from the FCC's playbook, and is fining this guy for what he was pretending to do, not for what he actually did.

This is just like the FCC's recent  $1.2 million "Married By America" fine against Fox television, the largest FCC fine ever. It was a remarkable fine for two reasons. First, the offending (and therefore illegal) scenes in the show included a bachelor party in which attendees licked whipped cream off of strippers pixillated boobs. That's right, pixillated. Any genitalia or nudity in the show was scrambled so it couldnt actually be seen.

But according to the FCC, a pixillated boob is just as dangerous as the real mccoy. A handful of viewers from one Fox affiliate complained, and the FCC in its infinite wisdom, multiplied the fine by the number of Fox affiliates that aired the scrambled mammary glands, despite the fact that not a single viewer from these dozens of other Fox affiliates actually complained. That's the second remarkable aspect of this fine - the FCC reversed it's longstanding policy of fining on the basis of listener complaints, and fined dozens of stations which were 100% complaint-free.

The FCC got started in this approach back in 2001, when it fined two commercial stations $7,000 a piece for airing what was the number one song in the country at the time, Eminem's The Real Slim Shady. Now we all know what a potty mouth Marshal Mathers has on him, so the stations were naturally broadcasting the radio edit of the song. You heard right -  they aired the version of the song that had all the cuss words bleeped out. They were fined anyway. That FCC decision is here. The stations contested the fine, and one of them eventually prevailed, after spending far more than the amount of their fine in legal fees. But you can see that not only was the FCC not initimated from fining for non-existent words (or images), the idea is actually catching on! Hence the NFL's 10 grand fine against Randy Moss.

So dont forget - just because you're minding your Ps and Qs and keeping your clothes on doesn't mean that you're not being dirty, dirty DIRTY! (Safe for work. Sort of.)