WFMU's Beware of the Blog

WFMU Listener Art

A few months ago, WFMU was lost in a dark wooded forest of creative blockage, with nary a flashlight or compass to guide us back to the path of artistic awareness. We sent out a desperate cry for help, beseeching listners to submit their t-shirt and sticker designs for us to have our way with, and o, were we led back to the light!

This year's Logo-Rama contest elicited the largest number of artistic submissions on record, and they were all so good that we can't help but share them with you. Take a gander at the myriad of listener art submissions right here.

The decision was tough, but we could only select 2 winners: Gregory Jacobsen's "Creepy Meatball" design (left) is featured on our December t-shirt giveaway (snag one for yourself by donating $45 or more to the freeform cause), and Nick Dewar's "Dancette" design (mock-up on the right) will be featured on a sticker to be given out during WFMU's 2006 on-air fundraising Marathon.

A big thanks to all of our artistically-endowed listeners who participated!

Still More Nazi Swing Music (MP3s)

Last March, I posted what I thought was the first volume of music by Charlie and His Orchestra, a Nazi big band assembled by Hitler's minister of propaganda, Joseph Goebbels. You can find that post and all 22 tracks from it here. It turns out that what I posted was actually the second volume of this material, so here are the 22 tracks from volume one.

Charlie and His Orchestra was led by Karl Schwendler, an English speaking German who broadcast Nazi-themed swing and big-band hits every night on the medium-wave and short-wave bands throughout the 1930s to Canada, the US and Britain. Leave it to Goebbels to take the music of The Andrews Sisters, Paul Whiteman and Irving Berlin and fill it with venomous rants against Jews, America and the British. The man took his propaganda seriously. But at least he admitted it was propaganda, unlike the current crop of spin-meisters.

In a 1928 speech, Goebbels expounded on his then-radical theories of manipulation. What he said then seems today to be cutting edge meme-ology, and provides an insight into why he favored using the most popular music of the day to spread his message of hate:

"An idea always lives in individuals. It seeks an individual to transmit its great intellectual force. It becomes alive in a brain, and seeks escape through the mouth. The idea is preached by individuals, individuals who will never be satisfied to have the knowledge remain theirs alone. You know that from experience. When one knows something one does not keep it hidden like a buried treasure, rather one seeks to tell others. One looks for people who should know it. One feels that everyone else should know to, for one feels alone when no one else knows. For example, if I see a beautiful painting in an art gallery, I have the need to tell others. I meet a good friend and say to him: "I have found a wonderful picture. I have to show it to you." The same is true of ideas. If an idea lives in an individual, he has the urge to tell others. There is some mysterious force in us that drives us to tell others. The greater and simpler the idea is, the more it relates to daily life, the more one has the desire to tell everyone about it."

The full text of this speech is here. Follow the link below for the MP3s of Charlie and His Orchestra.

Adventures In Amplitude Modulation - Part 1

This is the first post in a series inspired by my personal radio listening habits. However, you can relax. I won’t be offering up a “connoisseur’s” list of my favorite radio stations or bragging about my personal taste in music. At least, not exactly. Often I listen to radio as an explorer of sorts. and occasionally I record some of these aural ventures. In this post (and others that may follow) I’ll offer a taste of where I go and what I hear on these radio hikes, such as they are.

Other than the Internet and my occasional purchases of the New York Times, my main source of information & entertainment comes from radio. However, what makes my media intake more esoteric than most is that I exclusively listen to AM radio and shortwave broadcasts. I don’t watch television and almost never listen to the FM band. Generally, the TV content I do take in, I now gather from the Internet. And to be honest, I occasionally do hear WFMU in the car, but at home I pick up WFMU on the computer. With 128K MP3 stereo streaming, it’s far better than the reception I muster with my radios here in north Brooklyn.

I suppose if I didn’t have all these albums, CD’s and cassettes laying around I might listen to FM more often, or even subscribe to (god forbid) satellite radio. For now, when I want music I listen to my own. When I turn on a radio I want something else. I want novelty, mystery, and most importantly something human. Every commercial music station on FM feels like it’s programmed by a committee of consultants. And even NPR sounds safe and tested these days. On AM and shortwave you're more likely to hear ad libs, idiosyncrasies, mistakes and raw conspiracy & rumor that isn’t always processed for pure potential profit. Oh sure, there ARE agendas and ulterior motives everywhere, probably just like where you work. Bottom line, most of U.S. FM radio is all about mindless listening and shameless profiteering, (Oh, and there's usually a few interesting non-profit stations at the end of the dial.) But AM and shortwave is about power, language, and cultural & ethnic identity. The “word,” whatever that’s worth these days still holds power on the traditional static-ridden bands that carry signals far distances. I like that.

We Suck, But We're Free! More Scare Tactics From the NAB

With Howard Stern moving to Sirius Satellite Radio in less than a month, the National Association of Broadcasters (NAB) is stepping up its scare tactics to keep people away from alternatives to broadcast radio. Here is another spot the NAB recently released to commercial stations all over the country (MP3), including the NAB introduction. It doesn't mention Sirius or XM by name, but you know who they're talking about. (Here's a previous post about the NAB's last scare-spot.)

In this spot, the NAB paints an absolute nightmare scenario for its core constituency of male radio listeners: during a baseball broadcast, it's two out, bottom of the ninth inning with the bases loaded, when a hit is headed out of the park - it's going, going, when suddenly the broadcast is interrupted by an a long distance operator requesting 25 cents for the remainder of the broadcast. The horror! What more proof do you need that the good Lord ordained that radio should be free?

The spot is remniscent of the famous Heidi incident in 1968, when NBC cut off a New York Jets game during the critical game-deciding moment so they could cut start the TV version of the movie Heidi on time. The ensuing outcry changed the nature of sports television in the US forever.

Clearly, the NAB sees Sirius as a huge threat. My colleagues in non-commercial radio see podcasting as a bigger threat than Sirius or XM. People who work in radio are running scared, which makes sense, if you see new technologies as a threat instead of the opportunities they could be.

Sony's Deteriorating DRM Mess: One Month Later

It's been one month since details of Sony's invasive Digital Rights Management rootkit malware came to light.  (See my earlier articles: Nov. 1, Nov. 3, and Nov. 7.)

About 9,777 blogs now mention "Sony rootkit", while a web search for Sony rootkit malware yields 13 million results.  Here's a messy update on this mess:

Sony hired First 4 Internet (one of whose corporate directors spent 12 years as a Sony director) to build the intrusive digital restrictions management software "XCP", which has been quietly installing itself on about half a million computers over the past year, including military and government sites.  Many more Sony CD's install spyware DRM called "MediaMax", made by another Sony-related company, SunnComm.

Some of the bad things the XCP and MediaMax DRM malware do:

• Modifies your OS to hide and embed itself (and helps other malware hide itself).  It masquerades as a real Windows service, to make it harder to notice that something bad is running.
• Interferes with your computer's ability to read the audio on that CD, not letting you use your own audio player.
• Silently interferes with any CD-ripping software you might use, even with non-Sony CD's, adding random noise to your copies.
• Secretly "phones home" to send information about you and your listening habits back to Sony (although Sony originally denied this).
• Runs all the time and slows your computer down.
• Can crash your computer, while being difficult to diagnose and repair due to its self-hiding methods.
• Using advanced tools to try to uninstall the software can render your computer's CD drives completely useless.

Some bad things Sony (and friends) appear to have done:

• Snuck the XCP software onto people's computers, providing nothing but a legal jargon license that never actually explained what the software would do, while claiming it could be uninstalled without providing an uninstall mechanism.
• The MediaMax software may install even if the user clicks "Decline."

Oh My God, You Don't Know What You TOOK?

I was watching the Brian Turner / WFMU-curated episode of NY Noise the other night, and up comes this Public Service Announcement from the Bad Council (who've actually done some cool things - remember The Crying Indian (RM video link)? One of theirs).  Two little kids are having diner dinner with Dad, who's clearly got a scar on his ear where once hung an earring.  The announcer says something to the effect of "your dad had an earring back in the day when only bikers and hippies had earrings" (the dude's only like 30, but whatever).  "And you know what bikers and hippies had in common?  The Drugs."  The remainder of the hour was filled with similarly snarky anti-drug messages from the same source, like the dad who rolls himself up in the rug and tells his daughter he's a joint.  Relating, you know.  A bunch of grownups desperately trying to convince their kids they're hip to the now scene, while maintaining a just-say-no message. 

One of my duties here at the so-called Magic Factory is serving as Public Service Announcement Director, so if some organization's got an anti-drug campaign, they're sending their material to me.  Mostly it's dreadful.  Mostly it's the former mayor of Hillsborough or some such place politely suggesting the kids find something else to do: "Hey kids, my anti-drug is politics!" - in astoundingly low fidelity.  But not the Bad Council!  They're F-U-N!  Sometimes.  No, mostly not.  Here's all the fun ones, enjoy.

(mp3s) A-B-C-D-PCP...  |  Baa Baa Black Sheep  |  Humpty Dumpty

These here all cleverly update some of your favorite nursery rhymes, while the ones that follow get a little more "very special episode" on you:

(mp3s) You Wanna... y'know?  |  You Don't Know What You Took?!

Now let's go back to 1973, when Bill Cosby actually did this kind of thing pretty well (RM link to Kenny G's show). "The Dopepusher" (alright, the chorus blows -- but those shouted verses are great!)

And finally, don't forget: Daddy drinks because you cry.  (mp3)

Upcoming Special Programs on WFMU

December is set to be a heartstopping month in terms of live music and special programming on our webstreams, archives, and ever-lovin' FM signal. Go to our upcoming page to peer through the bug splattered windshield that I like to call "the future" for Townes Van Zandt documentarian Margaret Brown, UK folkie Bridget St. John, MIT Professor Noam Chomsky, Garage Rock legends The Original Sins, Philly-style newcomers Jukebox Zeros, avant noiseniks The Noisy Meditation Band, and early 70s John Peel fave Michael Chapman -- all of whom will be swinging through our hallowed halls this month. Also worthy of special attention is the multi-band extravaganza that will be hosted LIVE on Transpacific Sound Paradise from Barbes in Brooklyn. If you're local to the NYC area, come down and experience some LIVE seat-of-the-pants radio with hosts Rob Weisberg and Irene Trudel! More info on all of these special programs can be found here.

Cleaning Out My Inbox, Covered Face Edition

Did you know that it's a bad idea to give powerful hallucinogens to soldiers? Who woulda thunk it?  But here's a British newsreel film that proves it (downloadable mpg video). via undercurrents from a UK newsreel about British Army drug experiments.

How not to display rare records (downloadable wmv video). Maybe he can replace that cylinder here. Thanks, Listener Tom via Nata2

Touchradio has created the longest language removal exercise yet, of our own Vicki Bennet, from her program Do or D.I.Y. You can download all of Vicki's tongue flaps, uhms and ah's here.

Another creepy classic from Mr. and Mrs. Wheatley: Horrorclown (streaming Quicktime video, nsfw)

Feeling too productive at work? The bouncing girl will change all that.

A truly creepy tale of serial rape by telephone, reminiscent of the famous Milgram obediance experiment. Thanks? Listener Mike

The great Bush-Blair swear-off and Anti-drug Russian waxworks, via b3ta

Six Degrees of Smoking.

Heidi Barack's musical portraits.

incriminating photos via Happy Palace and the LA Public Library:

Cleaning Out My Inbox

While visiting Brazil, Arnold displays his deep respect for local mores and customs. Quicktime Video  via del.icio.us/tag/video

Ain't Nothing Like The Real Thing. via Hemaworstje

Dance moves circa 1974, via an Isley Brother's Soul Train Line. Mpg video via del.icio.us/tag/video

The ever photogenic Laura Bush. Thanks Rebecca!

Cool remix of toy instruments. via growabrain

Forget Judith Miller. What's Jayson Blair been up to? Thanks, Steinski!

Covert cameras for every use. Don't miss: 1  |  2  |  3  | Thanks again, Steinski!

Relive your (my) 7th grade drug education class! Pretty pictures | Junkie Comics. via Hemaworstje, Ethan Persoff

Using cartoon technology to teach kids to kill themselves. Iranian suicide bombing cartoon. (streaming windowsmedia video clip, via del.icio.us/tag/propaganda

In case you missed it, here's that Japanese TV game show clip of the kids with the pork chops strapped to their heads. Oh, and there's a big lizard, too: Google video, via boingboing

If World War Two had been an online game. via fazed

The infamous CIA sabotage manual from the early eighties. via flickr

Gallery of Luis Bunuel film posters.

Mary Lou (above) by Bryce (click on her!)  B/W Photos (below) from PhotoEye Galleries:

Criswell Predicts MP3

For your listening and sampling pleasure, here's a 44-minute-long MP3 of the legendary Criswell predicting what he predicts best - the future, which is where you and I will spend the rest of our lives. I know that some of you will write off Criswell as another Ed Wood boy toy, but listen to the predictions he makes here, and you will be astounded by his accuracy. Among Criswell's 1970 predictions that have come to pass:

• The political rise of the American south
• The red versus blue state culture wars
• Genital piercing and ornamentation
• Jennifer Beals and the leg-warmer epidemic
• The great caf-tunic contagion of 2005
• The backlash against liberal Hollywood entertainers
• Homosexual Cities and the Contented Discontents!

And that's just in the first few minutes of this MP3! Eventually, the great Criswell predicts the end of the world for August 18, 1999, which, unless I'm seriously mistaken, also came to pass.

Use Celery

The latest piece of shameless propaganda from
the National Celery Board: .mov video file

Aluminum Helmets Found To Aid Fed's Access To Brains

Sensible people have long accepted that the best way to prevent the government men from sending secret signals into your brain is by protecting your cranium with an aluminum hat. But now, four researchers at MIT have looked into the matter and have found that wearing an aluminum hat actually enhances the government's ability to access your brain's electrical system, by amplifying key frequencies which are reserved for government use.

The only sane conclusion is that the aluminum-hat theory was actually promulgated by the government itself! This means that the aluminum hats worn so prominently by Joachim Phoenix in the movie Signs amount to government-funded product placement. Article and research here. Thanks, listener Kevin!

More Record Fair Recap

Bronwyn and Miss Amanda have already written Record Fair round-ups, but here are a few more pictures of the fun and mayhem from this past weekend. 

Early Friday morning.  An empty Metropolitan Pavilion awaits the arrival of hundreds of record dealers, who are lining up outside on 19th Street, waiting until noon, when they can start bringing thousands and thousands of obscuro records and CDs.  The two fellows in the far right picture were at the front of the line.  They arrived at 6am to secure their place!

The night before, the Pavilion had hosted a fancy-schmancy benefit dinner where a motorcycle autographed by former Police-frontman Sting had been auctioned off.  When we arrived early Friday morning, the motorcycle was still there, and some of the volunteers and I  took turns sitting on it, including lovely volunteer Mary, who you see here.  The Stinger-cycle was just the first of many brushes with fame during the Fair.  Other reported celebrity sightings at the Fair this year included actors Benicio Del Toro and Rosie Perez, musicians Carlos D (Interpol) and Tom Verlaine (Television), and comedians Rachel Dratch, Jeffrey Ross, and Horatio Sanz, who showed extremely good taste in choosing a "Where Dead Air Lives" t-shirt to purchase from the WFMU Swag table.

Lawsuits against Sony for sneaky DRM, and refuted denials from malware author

Lawsuits, incompetence, and denial: Some news in the case of Sony's music CD's installing nasty hidden software on people's computers. (Prior articles: Sony CD's caught... & Sony releases PR "patch"...)

Declan McCullagh writes in CNET about a class action lawsuit being prepared against Sony, and the possible reverse lawsuit that could occur from Sony against those who dare to remove the malware from their own machines:

Now the lawyers are taking aim, too. Robert Green, a partner at the San Francisco firm of Green Welling, says he's readying a class action lawsuit against Sony.
[...] In a bizarre twist, though, it's not only Sony that could be facing a legal migraine. So could anyone who tries to rid their computer of Sony's hidden anticopying program. That's because of Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, which bans the "circumvention" of anticopying technology.

An Italian group (ALCEI: Electronic Frontiers Italy, which is the "Association for the Freedom in the Interactive Communication Electronic" using a bad translating program) is pursuing a suit against Sony. (Here's the suit announcement, badly translated from Italian.)

Mark Russinovich of Sysinternals receives a response from First 4 Internet, author of Sony's DRM malware, denying all wrongdoing.  Russinovich refutes all their denials:

[...] Their claim that the communication is "one way" from Sony's web site is false, however, since Sony can make a record of each time their player is used to play a CD, which CD is played, and what computer is playing the CD.
[...] Sony's patch is dangerous because the way that it removes the cloak could crash Windows.
[...] Besides demonstrating the ineptitude of the First 4 Internet programmers, this flaw highlights my message that rootkits create reliability risks in addition to security risks.
[...] The comment does not explain why Sony won't simply make the uninstaller available as a freely accessible download like they do the patch, nor why users have to submit two requests for the uninstaller and then wait for further instructions to be emailed (I still have not received the uninstaller). The only motivation I can see for this is that Sony hopes you'll give up somewhere in the process and leave their DRM software on your system.
[...] Instead of admitting fault for installing a rootkit and installing it without proper disclosure, both Sony and First 4 Internet claim innocence. By not coming clean they are making clear to any potential customers that they are not only technically incompetent, but also dishonest.

UPDATE: Sony's Deteriorating DRM Mess: One Month Later (Dec. 1, 2005)

Sony releases PR "patch" for its DRM malware that doesn't address the problems

After a flurry of thousands of blog postings (those pesky bloggers!) exposing the nasty malware Sony CD's had been hiding on people's computers (here's my original discussion of the situation), Sony has, predictably, made an (empty) Public Relations move.

Sony has released a "patch" which the mainstream media is covering with misleading headlines like "Sony Music issues fix to anti-piracy program." But all this "patch" does is make some of the internal files associated with their nasty program appear less hidden.  It doesn't do a thing to address the majority of the problems with the malware.  It doesn't remove the sneaky DRM.  And, rumor has it that this patch will reinfect a machine that was previously cleansed of the malware.  (Read Sony's spin here)

Here's the original list of issues from my previous article:

• 1. The hidden software is poorly written, and hogs computer resources at all times, even when CD's aren't being played.
• 2. Its hiding techniques could inadvertently make it easy for others to hide software on the machine.
• 3. It takes actions that could result in a system crash.
• 4. It disguises itself as a legitimate Windows service.
• 5. It doesn't provide a way to remove the software.
• 6. Upon manual removal of the software, the CD drive can be rendered useless.

The new Sony patch only addresses issue #2.  It totally ignores the rest of them, and of course ignores the broader issue that Digital Rights Management is bad for everyone.  If the movie- and music-industry owned politicians have their way, "forget, realistically, that your computer will ever be under your control again."

Here's a longer article on this subject: Sony DRM is worse than you might think.

By the way, Universal Music uses the same DRM malware.  UPDATE 11/29/05: Since First 4 Internet has removed all their pages that admit to this, read the excerpts on Google's search results page instead.

My previous article for more background on this subject: Sony CD's caught installing extremely well-hidden and sketchy DRM software

UPDATE: Lawsuits against Sony for sneaky DRM, and refuted denials from malware author (Nov. 7, 2005)
UPDATE: Sony's Deteriorating DRM Mess: One Month Later (Dec. 1, 2005)

4-Legged Mind Control

I readily admit to have toyed with the idea of recording an instructional tape loop that would hypnotize my cat into starting up a pot of coffee in the morning... But some folks, presumably the ones who lurk in superstore pet emporia sporting sweatshirts screened with a photo of Mr. Snuggles all dolled up in tacky holiday-themed accessories, have come up with an internet radio station designed for pet owners to leave on for their furry friends as a substitute for human interaction during the workday.

It sounds like a good idea, right? Keep Rover's mischievous daytime habits at bay by distracting him with noise while you're at work... But as any good parent might ask, what kind of brainwashing methods will be used, and how effective are these protocols in clinical trials? Now, for the expose...

A few examples from CatDog Radio's playlist: Elvis "Hound Dog", Baha Men "Who Let the Dogs Out", Hall & Oates "Everytime You Go Away", Mariah Carey "Can't Let Go"... could you possibly select a better soundtrack for Snowball to chew through your cashmere and light your couch on fire? Rather than acting as a soothing sedative, these tunes are likely to crank up the aggro dial on any self-respecting animal, including humans. If a dog is capable of learning the names of 200 toys, he sure as hell knows when he's being fed offensive music.

Of course, WFMU provides plenty of high-quality pet-friendly programming, guaranteed to keep your companions in a happy trance. Rather than subjecting poor Fifi to the swill of late 80's, try some of our wiser alternatives:

- Pet-fronted bands: Hatebeak, Caninus, Dutch Singing Parrot (all real audio links)
- Ken's favorite parrot training record (real audio)
- Check out the Greasy Kid Stuff archives which are full o' tunes for kitties, doggies, and rodentia (all real audio links)
- MP3s of the entire Beatle Barkers album 
- The fantastic Thai Elephant Orchestra (real audio)
- A clip from Phillip Kent Bimstein's album Garland Hirschi's Cows (real audio)
- The Jingle Cats perform "Little Drummer Boy" (real audio)
- Rats screeching from an excerpt of "Rat Relocation" by Matmos (real audio)
- Mader's "Loons" (real audio) should please the flying reptiles
- Sealy Dan "I Feel Good" (real audio)
- Chicken versions of "Psycho Killer" and "Mission: Impossible" (real audio)
- "White Cat Heat" by Godz (real audio)
- Or if foul-mouthed foul is more your speed, check out archives for the Dirty Duck's program

...and so on.

Thanks to volunteer Jared for the tip, and thanks to Ken for schooling my novice ass on the joys of animal and fake-animal recordings (according to the expert, songs that employ fake-animal sounds are far superior)!

t.A.T.u. - Lesbianism + White Power x Twin Blondes = Prussian Blue

Our own DJ Monica alerts us to a NY Daily News story about the latest hatecore incarnation, Bakerfield, California's Prussian Blue. But don't forget all the old school music-making hatemongers like Angry Aryans, Brutal Attack, Johnny Rebel and Skrewdriver, all available at the Resistance Records website. After you've seen the stupidity and hatred on display there, check out this fascinating Southern Poverty Law Center report on the founder of Resistance Records - it's not what you think.

Rent is too Damn High

Damian at Stay Free! alerts us to the Rent Is Too Damn High Party, throwing a hat into the ring for the upcoming NYC mayoral race. Their campaign song (MP3) explains everything.

The party's mayoral candidate and mastermind is ex-postal worker/Vietnam vet/martial arts instructor Jimmy McMillan, who once climbed up a cable on the Brooklyn Bridge armed with a machete to demand press attention. McMillan is actually on the official NYC ballot, running against a few other goons who are far too deficient in entertainment value to be mentioned.

Unfortunately, McMillan blames his rent woes on Jews (he also accuses them of creating a state of apartheid in Brooklyn), which is sure to derail his campaign. However, his site is full of nuggets like this:

All Poor People Are Being Force Out OF New York
*** HELL NO ***
This Is Jimmy McMillan, Ain't Nobody Running Nobody Anywhere.

Although McMillan's campaign may appear ridiculous, at least he's earnest. Remember when Jello Biafra ran for mayor of SF in '79? His platform included forcing businessmen wear clown costumes and banning cars within the city limits.

From the WFMU News Vault: New York Times Magazine, 1999

This week features a sort-of lengthy article (html link) entitled "No Hits, All the Time",  written about WFMU for the New York Times Magazine's April 11, 1999 issue.   Fast forwarding 30 years from WFMU's groovy past, we get a picture of the station as it is, more or less, in these modern times.  Quotes from Citizen Kafka, Kenny G, Monica, and other DJs attempted to elucidate for the coffee-sipping Sunday morning Times readers exactly what it is that makes FMU so different from your average pitstop on the radio dial.   

 

Hooray for Friday!

Congratulations FRIDAY!

The Village Voice recently named Friday on WFMU the Best Day of Radio in their recent "Best of NYC 2005" issue.  Props were given in particular to Doug, Monica, and Mike Lupica, who has, in fact, moved to Monday nights from 8pm to 11pm since the new schedule went into effect (pre-publication of the Voice Best ofs).  Doug and Monica still start off Fridays with a bang, and drivetime is now hosted by the delightful Donna.  Check out the full praiseful listing here.

 

Not Quite Quiet Time

Maybe we FMU folk just don't want to be alone in our own heads. We constantly placate ourselves with sounds.  Soothing and dreamy, digitally produced hums and blips, orchestrated and melodic, indigenous chanting, or as is often in my case mostly cacophonous, repetitive and sense-crippling . Whichever our pleasure, constant sound appeases us like a back rub after a breast feeding (including the regurge on the shoulder part).

So it came as a bit of a shock to discover via a couple of hours of slack research that there are those who might enjoy a some quiet time. Like the freaks at Noise Pollution Clearinghouse, or their weirdo crunchy S.F. brethren Sound Pollution dot org who would accuse members of our little community of being "Sound Abusers" with the following modus operandi:

The Psychological profile of a sound abuser:
From our studies, people that use noise in situations that are not qualified as an emergency, expose these forms of behavior:

1. Lack of awareness
2. Lack of responsibility
3. Intentionality
4.Selfishness
5. Lack of respect for others
6. Lack of respect for one self
7. Defiance, abusive behavior

Hey, what about number 8: Animal Masturbator? I can't understand people who feel the compulsion to make lists anyhow. Speaking of which, schizophrenics manufacture their own internal racket, as dramatized in this compelling audio slide show provided by your mental health care pals at National Public Radio. Sounds pretty hellish, huh? Almost like drilling a hole nine miles down into the Earth's crust to hear the Cries of The Damned.

From the WFMU News Vault: Look Magazine, 1969. Eye Magazine, 1969.

Some really great moldy oldies this week:

On June 24, 1969, Look Magazine published an article about "the new radio" - "stations with a far-out format" including KMPX and KSAN in San Francisco, KMET in Los Angeles, WNEW in New York, and there's a mention about a little station in East Orange called WFMU, which had just managed to raise all of $13,000 for their operating expenses that year.  Also, a creepily prescient scene featuring pot-smoking, mandala-wearing record executives who are none too concerned about "renaissance radio" encroaching on their profits.
Download the article here.  (PDF, 524k)

Later that year, Eye Magazine featured an in-depth 3 page article about WFMU and it's incongruous presence at Upsala College, which in description sounds a bit like the Faber College campus.  This article has some really fascinating facts:

• WFMU's first marathon ever raised $2,500, which was enough to keep the station on the air in the summer of 1968.
• Leonard Bernstein once called the station to tell them "he liked what was going on".
• Some things have really changed, like "A listener could call to request a song and hear it played 10 minutes later."
• And some things haven't changed at all such as the station "being under the care of various dropouts, mistfits and professionals" and the perception of WFMU as being "considerably looser, more spontaneous and less professional".

Interviews with Vin Scelsa, Lou "The Duck" D'Antonio, biker mama Toni Stevens, and the Kokaine Karma guys, among others, round out this very interesting piece of WFMU History.  Download the article here. (PDF, 1.18 MB)

Cleaning Out My Inbox

Animations of plantlife gone berserk. All this video needs in Werner Herzog intoning about the chaos of nature and it would be complete. via fazed

From the makers of the above, it's a dream come true: robots harrassing pigeons in the east village. (Click on the 2nd video down on the right.)

When Flying Dogs Attack. via peremeny

The secrets of Bohemian Grove, gathering place of powerful, fat, naked men.

Listener Wendy's home in the hills.

Devendra Banhart goes to great lengths to ensure that he wont be a Starbucks poster boy (video).

The Japanese Gallery of Psychiatric Art.

In May, I wrote about the art of free running, aka Le Parkour. Here's a new free running video making the rounds (windows media file).

Eight, count 'em, eight galleries of bathroom graffitti.

A new video from Jason Forrest / Donna Summer: War Photographer (Quicktime file)

Decorate your Desktop with WFMU Wallpaper

Now you too can decorate your computer desktop the way the Movie Stars do, with our amazing WFMU Wallpaper!  To take advantage of this fabulous offer, simply click the link below for your desired selection, and once it loads, right click over the image and choose "Set as Wallpaper".  Or, if your computer doesn't have that option, you can right click on the image (once it loads) and choose to "Save Image As.." and then set the wallpaper via your computer's control panel settings.  This site has more information on how to set your wallpaper up, or you can drop me a line if you are still stuck. 

Now, on to the fabulousness.  Today's selections include artwork from WFMU T-shirts past:

Making the End Times Happy Times
1024x768, 269k.
800x600, 176k.
Bruno Nadalin designed this happy-calyptic image for a WFMU T-shirt a few years back.   Perfect for the computer user who rarely leaves home.

Jim Flora Kiddie Ensemble
1024x768, 85k
800x600, 60k
Inspired by the artwork of Jim Flora, designed by Dave Cunningham for the 2003 T-shirt.  Download this one and imagine that the mad little children are responsible for all that music in your head. 

Investigate Fish Farm
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Steven Keene created this lovely design for WFMU's Marathon 2000 T-shirt.

Powered By Love
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Forget Dell.  Power your desktop with Love.  Danny Hellman designed this super-cute image for the first-ever WFMU Iron-On back in 2003.

Learn Radio
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Impress your friends and family with this Chris Ware creation in which Jimmy Corrigan, the Smartest Kid on Earth, teaches us about the wonders of Radio.

Enjoy!  And, if you would care to decorate your body with any of these designs, take a stroll over to our Olde Time Internet Emporium to take a look at our fine t-shirts, bumper stickers, and more.

Tres Femmes Fâchées

My current musical obsession focuses on 3 artists: Colette Magny, Catherine Ribeiro, and Theatre du Chene Noir.  Many's the unifying string running thru all three: French women doing their defining work in the late 1960's & early 70's; operating well outside any cultural drift; all three appearing on the famed Nurse With Wound list (which Wm Berger has been so heroically documenting on these pages - rise Wm, rise!!).  There's a fierce political character to all 3 as well, often subtle or implied, tho in the case of Mme Magny, sublimely overt. 

But the thing that most strikes me about all 3 is a delivery that seems informed primarily by fatal despair and a supremely confident anger.  I think it's this quality that has me so gaga over these artists, and it's this quality that I'll present to you in audio linkery.  On this page, there's some brief biographical info on each, and over the fold I'll offer the audio links, selected discogs, and more links.

Colette Magny came first, (and has sadly died first) and was a massive influence on much French music to come.  Beginning her career as a blues and folk singer, she became radicalized by the U.S. Civil Rights movement, the Nueva Canción  musicians in South America, as well as the worldwide student revolt of that bygone era - you know the one.  Her most astounding material is unapologetically violent, shocking, yet quite effective agit-prop accompanied by a heavy, romping jazzy rumpus.

Catherine Ribeiro (link is to her official website) began her career as a Ye Ye Girl and actress (appearing in 1963 in Godart's "Les Carabiniers") before meeting the composer Patrice Moullet, whom she married, and with whom she formed the bands 2-Bis and Alpes.  Heavily influenced by Magny's vocal style, musically Ribeiro's most exciting incantations leap off from some of the most intense, repetitive and thrilling rural space-rock you'll find this side of Amon Düül, or even early Gong - several of whose members found their way to Alpes. Catherine's still busy performing in France, and she's apparently quite popular in Belgium.

I don't know who this woman to the right is, but she may possibly be the mysterious and haunting voice of Theatre du Chene Noir, a performance troupe from Avignon led by a guy named Gerard Gelas. There's sadly little I can find out about them, but it does seem that their recordings are actually documents of live stage plays.  Check out this pic from one of them, "Miss Madonna". Musically presenting a diversity of styles, the anonymous vocal delivery is at once sexy and defiant, cooing and unapproachable.  Her voice seems to be the one that appears on albums from 1971 and 1975. In any case, Gerard is still active.

Jump the fold and listen...

Hey kids! The National Guard wants YOU to have free MP3's!

Receive 3 FREE iTunes music downloads when you sign up to be contacted by the Army National Guard!

__ Yes, I understand that the Army National Guard will send me information about great new Army National Guard benefits! I also understand that I will be contacted by a recruiter, and that's OK with me!

AlterNet blogger Evan Derkacz has this to say:

Who needs obsolete platitudes like Freedom and Security when you can get free mp3s for letting the National Guard contact you? I mean, it's not like they're just free all over the internet or available for $.99 each at the itunes store or anything...

What I want to know is, if your parents opt you out of the creepy provision in the No Child Left Behind Act that permits the armed forces to access students' records, can a student then override this by signing up for $2.97 worth of Kelly Clarkson singles?

WFMU Gets Macedonian Props

Muisc and Program Director Brian was recently interviewed for an article in the Russian music/ culture magazine PNTAM. (PDF) 

If anyone can translate this, please drop me a line.  Otherwise, just check out the sweet coat BT is all bundled up in.  Nice. 

From the WFMU News Vault: WWOZ-in-exile and Thomas Edison's Attic

A couple of articles this week about the WWOZ-in-Exile stream:

This is a long article from the Nashua Telegraph.  It features interviews with both WFMU and WWOZ Station Managers and a rather somber photo of our own Station Manager Ken.

This is a article about preserving the cultural heritage of New Orleans. (registration required)  WWOZ-in-Exile gets a mention in a few paragraphs.

Speaking of the efforts to save WWOZ, thanks to the many WFMU listeners and WWOZ supporters who have pledged so far!

Also in the news this week: 

A fascinating article (registration required) about Thomas Edison's wax cyclinder recordings.   Jerry Fabris, host of WFMU's Thomas Edison's Attic and curator at the Edison National Historic Site, talks about these early recordings and efforts to preserve them in digital format for future generations to enjoy.

Click here to listen to the August 23, 2005 episode of Thomas Edison's Attic.  (RealAudio)   All playlists and archives for the show can be found here.

It Was Only a Matter of Time…

This past Friday, the Wall Street Journal had an interesting article about Saatchi & Saatchi’s new “content arm” called GUM:

"In an effort to reach young people who increasingly tune out traditional advertising, London ad agency Saatchi & Saatchi is offering marketers an unusual proposition- the opportunity to own their own hip-hop band as a way to spread their advertising messages.

Saatchi & Saatchi said it assembled that as-yet-unnamed band as part of its launch yesterday of a division it is calling GUM, which will target teenagers and people in their 20s for advertising disguised as entertainment.

Saatchi & Saatchi said it is offering potential advertisers naming rights for the all female band, or the chance to have their products appear in the band’s music videos or on stage with it.”

FEMA Rap

Presenting the FEMA disaster rap for kids, which obviously prepared our nation's youth for the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina... brought to you by the same agency that, via the EAS (Emergency Alert System), accidentally evacuated the entire state of Connecticut for one hour, warned residents of a forthcoming flood by announcing that "a civil authority has issued a civil emergency," and didn't bother to relay any disaster-related messages on 9/11/01 because they didn't want to alarm anyone.

Thanks to Station Manager Ken for passing this one along

From the WFMU News Vault: 1987 - Village Voice Declares Best New York Radio is Made in New Jersey

Back in age of the dinosaurs, I mean, in 1987, the Village Voice ran a lengthy front page article entitled "New York's Best Radio Station Broadcasts from a Jersey Basement."    They were talking about WFMU, which at the time was still located on the Upsala College campus in East Orange, in the basement of Froeberg Hall.  The article features, among other things,  Irwin expounding on the art of freeform, The Hound testifying on the state of radio and the world, and this amusing anecdote from the late Vanilla Bean,  about how he first came to be involved with WFMU:

"The turning point, what got me involved in WFMU, was when they were doing the marathon.  I called them up to tell them the pope had been shot.  This was back when Reagan first got elected.  So I called up and somebody who answered the phone sounded really harried and said 'Who gives a shit?' and hung up.  And I though, 'Wow, they sound like a great bunch of people.'"

Some nice illustrations by Kaz, as well. 

The article can be found in full here, in all its cut and pasted glory.  (PDF, 1.7MB)

Only the Realistic Survive

Hello, everybody--nice seeing you again.

Like everyone else, all I know is what I read on the Internet.  Of course, this week  I’ve been following the story of Hurricane Katrina, and I’ve listened to the mayor of New Orleans’ radio interview and I’ve watched the president of Jefferson Parish break down and cry, and I’ve read all those commentors asking, “How could this happen?” That seems a little disingenuous to me. People want to know why President Bush couldn’t attend to the biggest natural disaster in the country’s history, when  he was in Florida--the Bush Fascism Testing Ground, the state that “won” the election for him in 2000, where his brother’s the Governor--within 48 hours after one of the big hurricanes hit there last year. Well, why do you think? Within 48 hours of Hurricane Katrina the administration announced that all those Louisiana and Mississippi National Guard soldiers over in Iraq were NOT going to be allowed to come back early, and if that’s not a good, solid indication of their brand of leadership, I don’t know what  is. People say the Department of Homeland Security failed during this crisis, but actually they’ve continued to do their work--spying on American citizens’ public library records and preventing Canadian rescue teams from entering the country to help us. And the Navy has announced that Robotic Lord Cheney’s former company, Halliburton, will be restoring power and rebuilding three naval facilities that were wrecked by the hurricane in Mississippi. We can all take comfort in that, I guess.

You extra-large flunkey, we will transform your country into a sea of fire!

North Korean propaganda taken directly from Pyongyang's Korean Central News Agency (KCNA) is translated into both English and Spanish, and made searchable by handy topics like "human scum" and "imperialist aggressor," courtesy of NK News. Be sure to check out the Random Insult Generator and the Hall of Fame for added entertainment.

via CNET

Where's your "Happy Face?"

I can tell that these models wearing their new Paddy Hartley facial corsets are extremely pleased... I think. Like most revolutionary fashion trends, facial corsets blur the lines between the medical/scientific and the trendy/fabulous - merging oral maxillofacial surgery and tissue-engineering with haute couture and the over-40 globe-trotting sex kitten set. Link, link, link and link (all with lots of pics). (via We Make Money Not Art!)

"He felt that I was speaking directly to him. He thought that all of the songs were talking to him, that I was playing them just for him."

My fellow DJs, consider this a public service message in the interest of your well-being. After Pseu Braun's recent post on "DJs gone bad," I've decided to turn my attention to the offense end of the dark court where the DJ/listener relationship lobs (wilts?) back and forth... that lithium-dulled elephant in the studio (on hold just for you at the request line): the "listener gone bad." Let's face it: to a sanity-challenged, occasionally violent, needy warp-job of a human, radio DJs (so easily obtainable with the flick of a knob) are virtually like fish in a barrel. A typical DJs face-less, booming, God-like voice is like a wet palette (or a cutting board) for any wrong person's free-floating delusions, an invisible neurosis-magnet if you will. Just Google "stalk murder DJ radio host" and you'll find a veritable shooting gallery of famously tragic cases from all over the globe. And it's a shame indeed.

However, in my research for this post, I did notice one key factor in the survive-ability of stalked DJs: the ones who made the biggest extroverted drama-queen scream-y fit over their ordeal, from the very beginning, are the ones who are still alive. So DJs, next time you get an email from a listener that seems a tad too informed of your private life, or a phone call from a song-requester that's a little "odd"... don't shrink like a wallflower! Go seizure-fit ape-shit right there and then! Point your finger and screech like Donald Sutherland at the end of the re-make of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers!" Yell "ST-ST-STA-STALKER!" dramatically into the phone or at the computer screen that holds the sinister email! Let EVERYONE see you! Point out that listener's suspicious and inappropriate attention without a moment's hesitation! Do not give that potential stalker even a micro-second to start creeping you out... you need to completely crack-out and over-spazz from second one! If you're live on the air, even better! You just go downright banana peel-smoking, speed-monkey, shout-y crackers! Interrupt the music right in studio, live on the air, and yelp in tear-gulping terror at the top of your lungs just like Adrienne Barbeau in "The Fog" "AHHHH!! STAY AWAY FROM THE FOG!! I'M BEING STALKED!! AAAGGGHHH!!" Do not give a moment's consideration to how foolish or delusional you might seem yourself... it could be the most humiliating, but smartest, thing you ever do!

Some cases in point:

A Week Imagined

If you're old enough to recall seeing the Beatles on Ed Sullivan (as I do), or If you remember when it was widely accepted that marijuana would soon become a nationally decriminalized (and ultimately legalized) substance, YOU know– the world HAS changed.

But no matter what age you are, you can turn the clock back a few paradigms and get a taste of that more daring and open era by watching a few episodes of the Mike Douglas Show-- Specifically by taking a look at a week of programs from 1972 when Douglas invited John Lennon and Yoko Ono to co-host his afternoon TV show.

Mike Douglas, former big band vocalist and all around affable guy, was no hipster. And his weekday program (syndicated nationally from 1965 to 1984) was produced by future right-wing media guru and now the head of Fox News, Roger Ailes. However, the world was a much different place 33 and a third years ago, and letting a former member of the fab four and his avant-garde wife take over your popular TV show must have seemed like a pretty good idea at the time. And the fact that Rhino has released the entire week as a box set of videos pretty much proves that the entertainment value of the unlikely match up of Mr. Douglas and the arty celebrity couple has actually appreciated over the years.

Through the week of shows, Lennon and Ono chain smoked their way through conversations with Ralph Nader, Black Panther Bobby Seale, George Carlin, Yippie Jerry Rubin and many others. Although he never pursued it seriously, Lennon had a natural talent for broadcasting (listen to him on the radio in 1974 here), and he has a blast playing talk host and bringing some pretty radical politics and ideas to a nationwide audience.

Patriot Action

Hello, Everybody—Nice seeing you again.

Some time ago—a few weeks, a couple months, I’m not sure–I noticed a big beige box in Grand Central Terminal near one of the information windows next to the big ramp that leads up to Vanderbilt Hall. The box was made out of sheet metal and had what looked like a stovepipe coming out of the top of it with a funnel-shaped cap on the top. I walked over to look at it, and it was humming away, making a noise like an air conditioner or a dehumidifier. “Checking for gas,” I thought. It just seemed obvious that it was some kind of Homeland Security machine to warn us when the Bad Thing happens.

A couple weeks later I saw some guys in MTA vests, accompanied by a cop, out in the middle of the main concourse at Grand Central. They had a funny little device set up on a table—it reminded me of those 4-armed things in physics class that spin around in sunlight, except this one was bigger and had some kind of paper tape printout spooling out of the bottom of it. So I walked over to check it out. “Excuse me,” I said, “But what is this thing?” The vest guys looked at me and looked at the cop. The cop nodded. “It’s to test the air flow in the terminal,” one of the vest guys said. Yeah, that’s what I thought it was.

A few days after that, all the National Guard soldiers and the MTA police in the terminal suddenly were walking around with bulky canvas pouches hanging from their belts. This was new equipment that they’d never carried before. Gas masks, I figured, so I asked. Yeah, that’s what they were. I have to wonder if all these studies and precautions are being taken because some security consultant just happened to think of it, or is it being done because there’s a real threat? I go through Grand Central every day—if it’s a real threat, then where’s MY gas mask? It seems like I can either go with the survivalists or with the even scarier folks who find gasmasks especially ... um ... interesting.

I’m a little skeptical about all these new “security” measures anyway. Like right after the first London bombings a couple weeks ago, the Port Authority cut off cell phone access in all the tunnels. They said it was to keep terrorists from setting off cell-phone-triggered bombs, but then everybody complained that it also kept regular folks from calling for help in case of an emergency, and a couple of big-deal security consultants were quoted as saying it was a bad idea, so then they turned the cell phone access back on. It made the whole thing seem like a panicky reaction to something happening 4,000 miles away rather than a well-thought-out security policy.

They followed that up with the new random-search policy. New York police are now stopping subway and bus passengers and searching their bags—without probable cause—supposedly at random. The Daily News sent out 5 reporters to check out the policy: Pete Donohue, Jego Armstrong, Jonathan Lemire, Veronika Belenkaya, and Tamer El-Ghobashy. Guess which one was the only one stopped and searched? In fact, he was stopped and searched twice. So random. At least it’s better than London’s Metropolitan Police policy of randomly selecting subway passengers to shoot five times in the head. And it turns out that the NYPD’s random searches are costing millions of dollars in overtime, so I’m betting they’ll be discontinued as soon as they can find a couple of big-deal security consultants to say it’s a bad idea. In the meantime, I've decided that I will decline to be searched. If the police stop me, I'll tell them I understand they're just doing their job, but that I believe the U.S. Constitution is supposed to protect me from unreasonable searches. I know they won't let me on the train, but, jeez, people have died to defend our freedoms, the least I can do is be late for work.

Grand Central has been patrolled nonstop by armed National Guard soldiers for a while now. The first time I ever saw them, I was getting off a train with an older guy, an attorney who lives upstate. “Look at the soldiers,” he said. “Aww,” I replied, “they don’t scare me.” He looked at me oddly. “They’re not supposed to scare you, Bronwyn,” he said. “They’re supposed to make you feel safe.” Well, it’s been a few years now, and I can tell you that it’s not working. Seeing soldiers with weapons and gas masks everywhere I go does not make me feel safer than I felt in the old days when National Guard patrols at the train station would have been unthinkable.

The basic assumption of democracy is that people are good. What do you get when the basic assumption is that any random person may be really, really bad?

Thanks for reading my blog entry, and watch your step.
-Bronwyn C.

Just Say No To Outdoor Summer Concert MC's

The summer means lots of outdoor free music events, but of course, they're never really "free" in the true sense when you examine closely. That's right, people sponsoring the event whether it be Snapple, Budweiser, or NAMBLA will always figure out a way to insert their agenda repeatedly into your experience, which of course, makes perfect sense, and is something we have pretty much accepted in our daily lives in this consumer-driven world. At the risk of going Andy Rooney, I have to say for some reason this year I find all the people MC-ing before, between, and after sets to be particularly prickly to my ears. I don't know why. Is it having absorbed all the recent SCTV box sets and realizing that Bobby Bittman (pictured) was somewhat of a harbinger of things to come, even though he was a parody of the past? Or is just that hearing a cheesy guy come out to pump everyone up and say things like "Give it up for my maaaaaaaaaan, J Mascis" in Central Park last night after Dinosaur Jr. finished is just downright annoying?. Or is it just the timing in these stressful times, where your entertainment should be a modem for escaping information-overload, thus making the usual routine of annoying interruptions amplified. I dunno, but the WFUV plug at a show involving the Magik Markers (who opened for Dinosaur Jr.) was pretty out-of-place too, one has to admit, and having Yo La Tengo's quieter moments interrupted by the buzz of the "Jack" plane overhead had me thinking of the blimp in Black Sunday crashing into the Super Bowl. These Jack people hate Matador, I know it! Anyway, I shouldn't vent, nothing could have been as bad as this guy (MP3). Says our friend Bill W.: "I'd like to 'put my hands together', with his neck intervening." I expect responses to this post from this weekend's Siren fest, especially if the US Army has that sponsorship booth there. Will Don Rickles don his CPO Sharkey garb and introduce Dungen?

Emotional Rescue

Most PC users at one time or another have encountered miscommunication online, whether it be via e-mail, message boards or chat. Hence, the births of the douche-chilling "LOL" and those horrid emoticons.

The Geeks and Shrinks at New Jersey's own Human Markup.org (Bringing Human Qualities Into Information Technologies) feel your pain, literally. Further, they'd like your other communicants to feel it as well. They provide an XML solution using something called Human Physical Characteristics Description Markup Language (HPCDML), which they hope will replenish the accounts of the emotionally bankrupt on-liner. This quick sample (avi), while compelling, still doesn't convey the snarky assholism displayed on some music lists I've seen, but I'm sure Human Markup's working on it.

Another Lionel Double-Shift

If you live within the radio reception realm of New York City, you might wanna check out Lionel today. (Or you can stream here.) He’s filling in for crusty old talk radio legend Bob Grant again on WOR (710 AM) from 4 to 6 this afternoon (broadcasting now as I write this post), and also doing his regular show which starts at 11 p.m.

It’s kind of a throwback to Lionel’s glory days when he took Bob Grant’s slot on WABC in the mid 90's. While it probably won’t be as wild and wooly as all that, it’s always entertaining to hear Grant’s rabid right wing callers interact with Lionel’s mischief. Today he’s taking apart the Bush speech from last night. Bob Grant must be rolling in his... Oh, I’m sorry. Bob’s still alive.

If you’re unfamiliar with Lionel, he’s a unique and slightly twisted talk host who I talked about at length in a post last month, which you can read here.

I was listening to Lionel’s show the other night and I almost thought I was back in Florida listening to Lassiter again. For a taste, here’s an mp3 of 2 calls from that show– a clueless Christian, and a drunk and excited Lionel fan.

I wish Bob Lassiter would fill in for Bob Grant every once in a while.

Victory for Fake News

In defiance of the FCC’s recent decision to lay the smack-down on Video News Releases (VNRs), fake news has risen from the ashes of near-defeat, unrelenting. A House panel failed to strike down an amendment that would prevent government agencies from producing fabricated news segments and articles using paid journalists.

This decision seems to contradict the FCC decision on VNRs (which are pre-produced faux-news pieces paid for and provided to TV stations by companies, organizations, and government agencies), where the issue raised was a lack of sponsorship disclosure. Some may argue that allowing government agencies to continue propaganda production is simply answering to the current marketplace demand for fake news.

Although critics of fake news point out potential dangers of this particular genre of information, the facts cannot be ignored: fake news fans are smarter.

Bibleman Vs The Northeastern Liberal Elite

Bibleman is coming, and he's ready to smite you. More specifically, in his newest episode, he's ready to smite his arch nemesis Wacky Protester, who aims to to create a world where there will be no Christians, no churches, no Bibles, and no God! Wacky Protester (pictured in blue to the right) is armed with his latest Anti-Christian weapon - the NeuroIconoclasticSkeptisiser, which he uses to lure unwitting Vacation Bible School students into his Animated Reconstructive Transport (A.R.T.), where they will be trapped in a world where there are no rules, no faith, no hope and no future! But Wacky Protester is no match for Bibleman, who grunts scripture and seethes dialog like "The full armor of God. Never leave home without it."

If it's possible to track a culture by monitoring it's cartoon characters and puppets, then Bibleman warrants some special attention. His enemies are protesters, skeptics, art and Jews. And Ricky Martin. And there's big money trying to propel Bibleman beyond the lucrative but limited Christian video market.

That's why Bibleman is coming to The Big Apple. Next Saturday, June 25th at the Flushing Meadows Fairgrounds in Queens. Bibleman and Reverend Billy Graham, who is bringing it back home to the city where it began for him in 1957, when he preached over 100 nights in a row at Madison Square Garden. The preacher who kept his flock intact while the liberal forces of darkness reigned supreme throughout the Sixties and Seventies is reaching out to the newest generation of Christian soldiers by sharing the spotlight of his final evangelical tour with... Bibleman.

The 911 Operators

Almost everyone agrees, September 11, 2001 was a really lousy day in America. Thousands died horrible and violent public deaths– in airplanes, in burning and collapsing buildings, and by jumping out skyscraper windows. All of us around New York City who watched two of the tallest buildings in the world burn and fall will never forget seeing something macabre and previously unimaginable take place that morning.

It was easy to take it personal around here-- Photocopy posters everywhere bearing the photos of the missing, people spontaneously sobbing on the street on in the subway, and the sick smoldering stench that lingered around here for months. It wasn’t until weeks later that I realized that people all over the country were probably just as affected by the replaying of slickly edited movie-trailer style videos of the day's disasters on television. (You can download and watch a couple mpg versions here and here)

While the smoking hole downtown is gone and most of the mess was cleaned up years ago, the memory remains ugly, distinct, and powerful. And what’s worse, despite Bush’s promise to “smoke” out the “evildoers” responsible for all the American death that day, nobody has been caught or tried for those ghastly crimes. Sure, we were immedietly told the attacks were the work of a vast network known as “Al-Qaeda” led by a guy named Osama Bin Laden. but the billions spent there hasn’t been any fresh leads on capturing these alleged terrorist masterminds since our forces inexplicably let Bin Laden escape from Tora Bora over three years ago.

Detainees at Gitmo Being Forced to Listen to Christina Aguilera

What does Christina Aguilera have in common with  Barney The Purple Dinosaur, The Bobby Fuller Four, Matchbox Twenty and The Pretty Things? They're all included in that rarified playlist of recording artists approved for use in torture. The Drudge Report printed excerpts from a forthcoming article in Time Magazine which alleges that "interrogation" techniques at Guantanamo Bay include "Detainee #063" being forced to listen to the music of Christina Aguilera.

Christmas In June

I thought that Christmas In July had been cancelled due to budget cuts, but apparently it's merely been moved up to June. How else to explain the sudden appearance of these pages in my inbox?

Jesus is back and his name is Ted.

Christ approves of anal sex and threesomes.

Freaky paintings of Patriot Jesus.

Spend your True Christian Dollars with Miss Poppy. Be sure to pick up an armed fetus. 

Thank You? Jesus, Rich, Superfrankenstein and del.icio.us

Abu Ghraib - Is It Torture? Or Is It ART? You Decide!

Conceptual surrealistic photography through the ages: (above, figure 1.a) U.S. soldiers make a point by photographing themselves with naked Iraqi prisoners' bodies stacked in the form of a human pyramid, Iraq, 2004. Contrast this with (above, figure 1.b) famed photographer Philippe Halsman making a point of complimenting Salvador Dali with naked women's bodies stacked in the form of a skull, in his portrait "Dali's Skull," New York, 1952.
(click to enlarge images)

Fucking USA Video

I don't think the North Koreans like us very much. This is allegedly a North Korean anti-American propaganda film which owes a lot to Team America. Quicktime video via robpongi (nsfw)

I've translated your franchise... IT'S A COOK BOOK!

Most Hysterical Photographs Of The Year Award goes to The Billboard Liberation Front, who yesterday altered a billboard in San Francisco to feature an obese child (probably a leftover from The Maury Povich Show) in sick Ronald McDonald make-up, an alien, a McDonald's golden arches logo, and the words "TO SERVE MAN." The clincher was the animatronic Ronald McDonald feeding a cheeseburger to a mannequin of the enthusiastically wide-gomped fat child, both sitting right in front of the billboard. The perpetrators then dressed as screaming versions of Ronald McDonald and Hamburgler, and celebrated with chants and helium balloons of Ronald's head. Turns out the plan for McDonald's take-over of the eating habits of the planet was nothing more than an extraterrestrial domination and enslavement plan lifted right out of a "Twilight Zone" episode. After the celebration in the park (in which some great photos of gasp-inducing Ronalds being cuffed and hauled into squad cars were taken) the BLF then moved... like an undulating sea of yellow, red and white vomit... into a nearby McDonald's location, where the nightmarish reverie commenced. These photos literally had me laughing so hard I spilled my piping hot morning McDonald's coffee into my lap and I'm getting my lawyer on the phone right now! Photos found on BoingBoing and also Laughing Squid. Great photos.

We Interrupt This Mind Control For More Mind Control

Well, it seems Clear Channel is on a real quest to distance themselves from their notoriety as Evil Corporate Bully Boy Pants by embracing the um, community. I noticed tonight the subway exit on the R/W 8th Street stop now features a big ol' ad for their Pixies/Interpol/LCD Sound System show this summer because, hey, that's where the East Village begins (and they probably wouldn't be zoned to put it on the side of the St. Mark's Hotel.) It's just like all those Von Lmo fliers that used to be pasted along the wall behind what's now Starbucks in St. Mark's. In other smoothing actions of the evil CC monicker, WFMU ticket winners for Irving Plaza shows now get their names reported to someone with an "@rondelsenerpresents.com" email address, even though six months ago that same person was "@clearchannel.com". Though the unhip shows still go to the Clear Channel email. But hey, at least someone's getting something good out of that situation, i.e. eight of you got to see Gang of Four last week. But, no amount of good in the world can undo the utter evil of the fact that Clear Channel has set up a faux pirate radio station in Ohio, and are EVEN TAKING PLEDGES FOR SUPPORT.  Radio Free Ohio (whose site is down as of today, but some text has been mirrored thanks to the sharp-eyed eagles at Stay Free) has made a point to declare its overthrow of the corporate ogre, even bashing Clear Channel itself and bleeding its signal onto other CC stations to crow that the revolution is coming. WOXY outed them on their message board, with someone pointing out how the IP address for Radio Free Ohio points to CC. Needless to say, Radio Free Ohio's message board is hopping more than ours on a particularly hot topic day. Raad Man, could you get over there are slap those dudes into shape?

Many Infinite Planets

A very special presentation.
[35 MB QuickTime, 18:30]

A didactic singing alien and "Chip the black boy" team up with James Quall's special Bible voice for this Christian Science kids' show.  Today's lesson includes the Book of Enoch, and the exposition is so absorbing, the Technical Director has a 30-minute-long grand mal.

Just kidding, of course.  His seizures are because he doesn't unbelieve in seizures enough.  He better hit the books.  Also, green is grey.

via Screenhead

Soundtrack for Torture

MP3s: The More You Sell (retail motivational training from The Happy Listener's Guide to Mind Control) and Kris Jensen's Torture.

In November 2003, one of our DJs received this e-mail from a WFMU listener stationed in Iraq:

Hi, I'm currently deployed to Iraq and recently discovered your program. Since then My tank crew and I listen whenever we get the chance. The reason I'm writing is that we have been looking for anything we can find by happy flowers, not just because I think My Skin Covers My Body is the greatest record of all time, but also It's perfect for Psychological Warfare. Well, the only song we have here is Charlie Got a Haircut and we've used it so much, we can't stand it. Basically I wanted to check if you know somewhere we can score some Happy Flowers we can then load onto an Ipod to use on the Iraqis. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

Sociopaths - they're gonna make it after all!

Having long suspected sociopathic tendencies within myself, and realizing that the pot calling the kettle black is sometimes the only way towards true enlightenment, join me below, as I look in the mirror and offer a confession, suspicious rant, public service announcement on the nature of the sociopath, followed by a link to two fantastic articles (by Texas writer Glenna Whittle) from the Dallas Observer about a particularly noteworthy specimen (left) named Sandra Bridewell.

Testicles + Truth = Hope

On Tuesday, British MP George Galloway came before the U.S. Senate’s Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations to deny his alleged involvement in the Iraqi oil-for-food scandal. Instead of meekly defending his honor to the big bad senators, in his opening statement Galloway delivered perhaps the most powerful, eloquent and concise condemnation of the Iraq War that any group of war lovin’ American politicians has ever had to sit through. (Excluding the floor speeches of Robert Byrd, who may be eloquent and powerful but is rarely concise)

Wartime Lionel

Lionel is funny. And in talk radio these days, funny is hard to come by.

Sure, if you get your jollies hearing jokes about environmentalists, the poor, and the disenfranchised you probably can’t stop slapping your knee during the Rush Limbaugh program. But in general there’s not a lot of wit on talk radio lately. For the most part, the talk radio format has become a humorless void of political grandstanding and smearcasting. Blame the right wing morons for turning an entertainment medium into a barren kiosk of propaganda.

Lionel’s show originates from WOR-AM here in New York City, but it’s syndicated nationwide. In fact, the radio mega-corporation Clear Channel has been gradually creating new “progressive talk” stations, which feature Air America programming, and Lionel’s show is often tucked into the schedule. Which is strange in a way, because Lionel isn’t really a political talk show host at all.

He makes it clear on his show, he is NOT a liberal. However, he is most certainly a lawyer and an eccentric raconteur with a wacky vocabulary and an acid wit. On the side, he takes on a few stand-up comedy gigs too.

I’ve listened to Lionel for a long time, and traditionally he focuses his quirky intellectual laser beam on legal issues in the news, as well as sex and “news of the weird" kind of stuff. Actually, almost any topic is fair game. If it’s strange, titillating, or pisses him off, he’ll talk about it. But lately, Lionel is a little less lighthearted than he used to be. The war in Iraq and the war-promoting lockstep rightward march of talk radio has REALLY pissed him off. Yet, it seems to have made his show a little better. He may have the perfect temperament for relaying really bad news and trying to make sense of it.

"Information is the currency of power" vs. "Getting information about the currents of power (co-opting your brain)"

Did you file for U.S. Patent 3,951,1344? Are you a secret supporter of MKULTRA and H.A.A.R.P.? Are you involved in a worldwide plan driving a subliminal force secretly programming sleeper agents like Lee Harvey Oswald, John Hinckley, Timothy McVeigh, Sirhan Sirhan and David Koresh?  Is tinfoil your nemesis? Are you actually sending radioactive waves into my brain right now to command me to type this? Let's break the ice and get to know each other. MindControlForums.com has created a Totally Anonymous, Untraceable Questionnaire for Electronic Harassment/Mind Control Perpetrators for us, so we can finally communicate with each other in a format my conscious mind, and other witnesses, are more familiar with. Please answer the questions to the best of your abilities (or to the extent that your overlords will allow). If you're unsure of what to say, please refer to other responses for guidance. Might be good to get a few things off your chest before you enter that secret doorway inside my closet wall and ride that aluminum tube elevator down into the hollow Earth back to your Gray and Reptilian wife and kids, or your job in the assembly line at the secret radio transmitter tooth implant factory (I know you're chummy with my orthodontist, why can't we have that kind of close relationship?) Please just let me know what's on your mind before you put stuff in my mind.

Elizabeth (Liz, Lisa) Brady Cabot Winslow - elaborate internet hoax, or a prodigy in many fields!?

Some people one-up the very notion of "Carpe Diem" and instead annihilate each and every day into a super nova of life-fulfilling potential, reaching unbelievable heights. On the other hand some people, no matter how hard they try, just can't seem to catch a break. Some people inhabit both of these realms. While normal slobs are sitting watching cable TV and making excuses, Elizabeth (Liz, Lisa) Brady Cabot Winslow, who has apparently descended from world-wide royalty and the Hollywood elite, has constructed a daily life experience that encapsulates James Bond, Albert Einstein, Wonder Woman, Harry Caul, Laura Mars and Mork From Ork ...at least that is according to her extensive home page/resume/cry for consideration. She doesn't just raise the bar, she lights the ends of it on fire and does a baton-twirling routine with it (that is until she has to flee the stage when a lone gunman tries to assassinate her from the balcony).

Attention Online Mallrats

Universal truth #1: WFMU gives away the most swinging of swag to our loyal donors each year during our fundraising marathon.

Universal truth #2: The batch o' giveaways changes every year, as directed by our image consultants who orbit the planet in corporate HQ.

Common myth: If you missed out on last year's swag, there is no way to recuperate from your loss of cool points... or is there?

Check out our online store, Crapola Central, where you can purchase all sorts of WFMU swag from  past years. Guaranteed to launch your hip quotient through the roof. Items offered in exchange for local currency include T-shirts, sweatshirts, CDs, stickers, magnets, various household adornments, collectors cards, and even cassette tapes (grab 'em before they make a comeback). WFMU swag from our 2004 Marathon has just been added, so prepare to consume, consume, consume!

It Must be the Russians

Inspired by the chatter regarding THE RUSSIANS on this blog lately, I was reminded of this great link to old Russian Propaganda, Entertainment, & Military posters that was sent in by Listener Joe.

Which, in turn, reminded me of the (many) relevant tracks by one of the 20th Century's greatest poets, Attila the Stockbroker, and from his brilliant "Ranting at the Nation" LP, we present the following MP3s of intellectual accompaniment:

(Right click to download)

They Must be Russians

Russians at the Henry Regatta

Russians in the DHSS

Russians in MacDonalds

I first heard Attila on college radio back in the 80s and was immediately transfixed by the clarity of his rants, his often-hilarious demeanor, and what remains a wholly unchallenged sense of smart assed-ness. Some of his more recent works can be had by going here, or for a further taste of what Attila's been up to, here is a droplink to the RealAudio archive of his appearance on Pat Duncan's show from July of 2002.

While we're giving it up for the Russians, let's also pause and reflect on the sexual-hygenically minded brilliance of early 80s po-punk-new-wavers They Must be Russians and their cautionary epic "Don't Try to Cure Yourself" (Right click to download MP3) as well as this RealAudio nugget from WFMU's Listener Hour archives. November 2nd, 2002 edition with your host The White Russian. Сразить, мои друзья!

America's new (Jersey) rock video anthem: "America: We Stand As One"

It's America's rock anthem (music video) for the new century of war without end.

And who better to channel it for us* than a Jersey native who can claim to be "also featured on the Star Trek Trading Cards, which in the trading card world is a high honor."

The Quicktime music video is here (for streaming or download).

Here's the main site.

(Yes, Station Manager Ken included this in a list of wonderful links a few days ago, but, damnit, this song is just too important for our country to not give a spotlight to!)

(*I mean, of course, other than John Ashcroft or Bryce.)

The Happy Listener's Guide To Mind Control

Back in the waning days of the Cold War, I made a cassette compilation of corporate, religious and political propaganda called The Happy Listener's Guide to Mind Control, and I offered it to donating listeners as a fundraising tchotchke for our 1991 fundraiser. Fifteen years, one new world order and countless layers of Orwellianism later, the MP3s for the Happy Listener's Guide found me, so I'm hypnotically compelled to offer the contents up once again, free of charge this time. Thanks to whoever took the time to rip them!

Charlie and His Orchestra

The lure of the forbidden can be seen nowhere more clearly than the Parent's Television Council's filthy TV page. Here is the organization that has been responsible for generating millions of complaints to the FCC, and they make it possible to watch those delectably decadent moments over and over again.

In the 1930's the Nazis had the same love/hate relationship with swing music. They outlawed it on their homefront, throwing it into  the category of "degenerate" art. But at the same time, they employed it in the service of the fatherland. Joseph Goebbels, Hitler's propaganda minister, assembled a fairly competent swing band called Charlie and His Orchestra to perform Nazified versions of the jazz hits of the day. Led by an English speaking German, Karl Schwendler, Charlie and His Orchestra broadcast on the medium-wave and short-wave bands throughout the 1930s to Canada, the US and Britain.

The idea was to lure the masses in with the irrestible tonic of swing music and then slyly work in the anti-Jewish, American and British lyrics after the second or third verse. The broadcasts of Charlie and His Orchestra were not available in the Fatherland proper, but that only enhanced their legend, and they picked up an underground following in Germany as well.