October 31, 2005

t.A.T.u. - Lesbianism + White Power x Twin Blondes = Prussian Blue

Prussian_blue_2Our own DJ Monica alerts us to a NY Daily News story about the latest hatecore incarnation, Bakerfield, California's Prussian Blue. But don't forget all the old school music-making hatemongers like Angry Aryans, Brutal Attack, Johnny Rebel and Skrewdriver, all available at the Resistance Records website. After you've seen the stupidity and hatred on display there, check out this fascinating Southern Poverty Law Center report on the founder of Resistance Records - it's not what you think.

August 25, 2005

Living Room Photos Found On Foxtons' Brooklyn Condo and Coop Listings

Relr18Here are some living room photos I found while perusing Foxtons' Brooklyn condo and coop listings:

Continue reading "Living Room Photos Found On Foxtons' Brooklyn Condo and Coop Listings" »

August 10, 2005

Pearl Williams: For This You'll Need A Glusenshpiegelbaster (MP3s)

PearlwilliamsI picked up my first Pearl Williams album many years ago while working at the Confirmed Bachelor Record Store. Recorded live in the early 60s during a "late, late show," A Trip Around The World Is Not A Cruise opens like this:

(Pearl sits down at the piano, tinkles a few chords)

"Good evening, this is Pearl Williams. A raconteur, a story seller - dirty stories, clean stories. I'm also a chanteuse - which is French for cuerva. I own a vibrator. A French poodle. And I went out and bought a Roto-Rooter.  Oh that Roto-Rooter (followed by an unintelligible but no doubt filthy Yiddishism). Oh I love my Roto-Rooter. A looong Roto-Rooter, I can lend it to two broads standing behind me. Definition, of indecent: If it's long enough, hard enough, and in far enough, it's in decent."

And so it goes. Lots of self-accompanied after-hours shtick and songs - mostly one-liners and jokes about "knishes, "shlongs," and "the new Jewish holiday - October 21, the day the new Cadillacs go on sale." All delivered with Pearl's husky-voiced killer timing. Check these sites for her bio and historical context (i.e., Belle Barth and Patsy Abbott).

Here are 28 MP3s of Pearl Williams' best and ballsiest bits pulled from her bawdy adult party albums:

Continue reading "Pearl Williams: For This You'll Need A Glusenshpiegelbaster (MP3s)" »

July 27, 2005

The Chief Rocker, Frankie Crocker! (MP3)

Crockerjpg"For there is no other like this soul brother - tall, tan, young, and fly."
    Frankie Crocker on Frankie Crocker

Frankie Crocker was one of the flashiest and most flamboyant radio personalities to ever rock a mic. His smooth come hither raps, movie star lifestyle, and broad-based musical taste are the stuff of legend. From his late 60's days on Top 40 giant WMCA (following Murray the K) to his Black Power stint on WWRL to his powerhouse years at WLIB and WBLS - where he pioneered a progressive urban blend of R&B, rock, Latin, disco, jazz, and even Frank Sinatra - Crocker took New York radio by storm.

And Frankie's ego knew no bounds. At the height of his fabulosity he could be seen squiring Jayne Kennedy, walking his matching Afghan hounds, arriving at Studio 54 on a white horse, appearing in "Cleopatra Jones," taking on-air bubble baths with model Beverly Johnson, leading his own disco orchestra, and commanding local record labels to subsidize his live remotes from Cannes and fetch his fried chicken. But there was no disputing that Frankie was King of the New York airwaves. As he himself put it,"when Frankie Crocker isn't on your radio, your radio isn't really on."

The classic Frankie rap below (thanks to Steinski for the vinyl-to-MP3 transfer) is part of WFMU's ongoing Aircheck program: an ever-expanding archive of radio ghosts recaptured. Heard every Thursday from 6-7pm, Aircheck preserves some of the more unusual and unpredictable moments and personalities in radio. The complete Frankie Crocker show can be heard here.

An All-Time Classic Frankie Crocker Rap (MP3)

July 20, 2005

Last Call for Baubles, Bangles, and Beads


Beads_on_jessica_1Caf-Tunic? Check. Fiesta skirt? Check. Something still missing from your stylist to the stars Rachel Zoe hot weather wardrobe? Chee-eck. And with less than six weeks left to work the urban affectation of Faux-Ho Realness (For She Who Is Truly Unbothered), those attempting a trendy trifecta had better kick their peasant-look portfolios into overdrive before the blush is off that gypsy rose for good. The most expedient way of spicing up your meow mix is with accessories. For this, we turn to the ever reliable army of New York City street vendors.

While department stores mark down countless SKU's of gauzy dreck to make room for B-T-S (back to school) and garmentos  anxiously await the hernia-inducing heft of September Vogue, street vendors are patiently plying their trade in the ephemeral realm of the here and now. They've got what you want this minute with a price that's right given the impending "sell by" date. Here's a short list of "buy now or forever hold your Sienna Miller shorts with cowboy boots" stuff that we're seeing on the street and in the dog-eared issues of InStyle that I peruse  while basking in my Pedi-Throne at the local Bloomie Nail salon.

Continue reading "Last Call for Baubles, Bangles, and Beads" »

July 14, 2005

Happy Birthday MP3!!

HappybirthdayBillboard Post Play Blog reports that the MP3 turns ten today. The tiny terror was hatched ten years ago today when researchers at the Fraunhofer Institute for Integrated Circuits in Germany ("Vee have vays of making you stream!") decided to use ".mp3" as the file name extension for their new audio coding technology. Since then, the MP3 has brought the music industry to its wobbly knees as the first modern music configuration not introduced, controlled, and marketed by the industry itself (which hasn't put a halt to the gluttonous and obsolete practice of CD packaging deductions levied on artists and other royalty recipients). Consumers have rejoiced in a drunken downloading frenzy, ditching their broken-hinged jewel cases and clunkola CD Walkmans for iPod mugging bait. And for that, young man - the stripper, the Veuve, and the cake are on us. Just don't tell your mom as she'd probably kick our aged analog ass. Hit, it Marilyn!

"Happy Birthday" by Marilyn Monroe (MP3)


June 03, 2005

The Great Caf-Tunic Contagion of Spring/Summer 2005

Caftunic10_1Ah Spring/Summer, when a young woman’s fancy turns to thoughts of Boho-Luxe and other artificially inseminated fashion dictates. With glue guns still warm from nipping and tucking their Junior and Missy "visual stories," fashion merchandisers across the land have worked themselves into a folkloric frenzy of faux-ethno excess (see May 5 fiesta skirt post). Leading the charge is The Great Caf-Tunic Contagion of Spring/Summer 2005, which has officially whacked The Poncho Pandemic of Fall/Winter 2004 off its mass merch perch. Half tunic, half caftan, and ALL Gypsy-Chic, the Caf-Tunic hybrid has cut across price points and planograms to emerge as the hottest shmatte since Skorts. Blouse it out, belt it up, work it with a wedge, and serve that apple bottom like the legend that you are, bitch!

Caftunic_oprahTouted for many months as an Important Summer Trend, it clogs up Size 0 waiting lists in Meatpacking District boutiques, monopolizes mannequins in Mandee mall stores, and stuffs the "Plus Size" circular racks at Conway's. Bias-cut, sequined, fringed, and "shot with shimmery hints of metallic." In glittery gauze chiffons, crepes, sheer silks, and synthetic blends. And in every unflattering tropical hue imaginable. Like a swarm of beaded locusts, the Caf-Tunic plague shall inhabit outlet center and department store aisles until the cleansing rains of Labor Day markdowns wash away its over-embroidered carcass, leaving liquidators to pick over its deeply discounted bones (see last winter's rhinestone brooch bonanza).

Muumuu2_1Also, despite its new found haute-ness, the Caf-Tunic shares some unfortunate genetic fibers with its trailer park predecessors. The humpback whales of women's wear - the muu muu (or "float dress"), patio dress, caftan, garden lounger, floral duster, and other assisted living-appropriate styles - have contributed their demode DNA to the C-T. And for those of you a bit broad across the beam, like myself, we suggest exercising caution in attempting to wear this tight-across-the-torso descendant. Come to think about it, perhaps it's time we revisit the frowsy fabulosity and slatternly chic of those billowy Omar the Tentmaker creations one associates with Liz Taylor and Shelley Winters. Screw the Caf-Tunic, I'll see YOU in the extended size racks of Catherines' loungewear department!

May 16, 2005

Recordings Of Champion Livestock Auctioneers

AuctioneerThe Livestock Marketing Association in Kansas City sells great CDs and videos of champion livestock auctioneers. The LMA's 42nd annual World Livestock Auctioneer Championship will be held June 18 at the Tulsa Stockyards. Listen to streaming audio of auctioneer champions from 1963-2004 or round up MP3s of a few of my faves:

Stenson Clontz - 1985
Cecil Ward - 1964
Steve Liptay - 1976

Also from the LMA site...

Continue reading "Recordings Of Champion Livestock Auctioneers" »

May 14, 2005

The Candy That Kills Is The Candy That Saves

Killercandy_2Jumbo mint balls the size of peach pits are responsible for the tragic choking deaths of two young New York City girls only two days apart. It's freakish flukes like this that are hog heaven for New York Post headline editors. And while it's no "Headless Body In Topless Bar," today's "KILLER CANDY" cover, with a photo of the peppermint perpetrator looming over its innocent pig-tailed victims, was certainly enough to make me gag on my Cap'n Crunch. Paramedics rushed to the scene but I coughed it up just in time for the following candy-as-redeemer item on Page Six.

CbgbcandybarCBGB owner Hilly Krystal and chi-chi downtown confectioner Chocolate Bar are unveiling two limited edition lines of chocolate CBGB products this Monday. The CBGB's Punk Rock Box includes a 16 piece truffle collection embossed with the history and iconic images of CBGB's illustrious past, complete with a postage-paid petition to save CBGB's. Also available are CBGB Retro Bars in two flavors - dark chocolate with espresso crunch or milk chocolate with hazelnuts. We suspect Joey Ramone was more of a no-frills Gem Spa egg cream kind of guy but he'd no doubt appreciate the sweet sentiment.

May 12, 2005

Spot Load

Spot_1From the always interesting Ross On Radio column, covering radio topics from the commercial side of the dial:
"How do radio listeners react to the number and placement of radio commercials they hear, and how does this vary by format, demographic, and listening location? How can stations structure pods to minimize listener fatigue? Those are just a few of the questions answered in Edison Media Research and Arbitron's new study: 'Spot Load Study 2005: Managing Radio Commercial Inventories for Advertisers and Listeners.' "

A few of the findings...

Continue reading "Spot Load" »

May 05, 2005

To Everything Turn, Turn, Turn: Cinco De Mayo Edition

Fiesta_1Fiesta skirts. Suddenly these gaily colored garments are everywhere you turn. Likewise their full-circled kissing cousins: the peasant skirt, the prairie skirt, the handkerchief skirt, the pouf, and all the other ersatz ethno-flounciness that's been foisted upon us this spring. No longer the exclusive kitschy domain of rockabilly revivalists (aka The Black Hair People), the fiesta skirt has come, well, full circle. From shrewdly stylish junior publicists maxing out their credit cards at Scoop to red-state bible study moms going Boho Light at Walmart, this wide panelled whirling dervish speaks to the gypsy in our sequined soul.

Circle_skirt5_1In fact, the circle skirt has enjoyed quite a long-hemmed history. Middle-aged belly dancers, dirty hippies, hula girls, Renaissance Faire wenches, square dancers, figure skaters, the Martha Graham dance company, and Melissa Gilbert as Laura Ingalls Wilder have all known the joy and versatility of the humble orb.

Circle_skirt25

But despite its generous proportions, the fiesta skirt, like most fashion foibles, is best left to those who stick index fingers down their throat. If you're like me, with extra acres to hoe in the lower forty, all that festooned fullness can make your ass look more like a pinada than a Bill Cunningham photo in Sunday Styles of the Times. In fact, you might as well hang a Wide Load sign out back. Ah, but who needs a fiesta skirt when there are Nachos Supreme to be had at Chi-Chi's Cinco De Mayo Festival? Now unzip me out of this post and pass mother her frozen margarita.

April 23, 2005

"I Am 16 Going On 17..."

Hot97hookupWho ever thought that the Sound Of Music's sweet coming-of-age song cautioning against "eager young lads and rogues and cads" and "bachelor dandies, drinkers of brandies" could share the same sentiments as those expressed by 16 year old Nicole in her Hot 97 Hookup profile?

Hi, I'm Nicole. Age 16.

I live in: Fort Lauderdale
My measurements: 5' 6'' 140lbs  im not 15 im 16 goin on 17
Favorite artists: g-unit, mariah carey, jigga, nas biggie, elehant man, sean paul, vybz kartel,usher luda anybody whos hot
What I'm looking for: Lets see......... first i dont want nobody shorter than me. i dont want a dumbass nigga ya know but u aint gotta b a braniac. gotta have goals in life and keep in shape.good lookin nice rommantic and gotta have some freak in him.

Essence4you_3
Turn-ons: Sexy lips and eyes they dont gotta b  nice color but first thing i notice is the eyes then lips
What turns me off: liers cheaters ones who dont take care of themselves crack heads fake thugs bad breath stupid niggas.
Why others find me interesting: nice personality. im always makin people laugh. im wat they call the life if the party.
Michole (right) from the Bronx hasn't updated her profile yet but she'll get to it just as soon as she's done directing traffic in her Coop City living room.

April 12, 2005

Discography of Drag Queens

New_jerseys_own_ty_bennettBefore the anti-heteronormative hecklers got all "transgendered" on our ass, the term "drag queen" pretty much covered the wild and woolly range of female impersonators who tucked their jewels and camped it up oh so many decades and tubes of Duo Eyelash Adhesive ago. While primarily associated with risque and raunchy stage acts, many also recorded albums that are surprising in range.

Fist_goodbody_1Dragstravaganza has lovingly documented over 80 years of these lost audio treasures - from vaudeville recordings by Savoy and Brennan in 1923 to T.C. Jones' spot-on impersonations of Tallulah Bankhead in the '50s to the Pearl Box black drag revue in the '60s to Fist Goodbody's '70s S&M dungeon drama to ex-Bowie paramour Romy Haag's Teutonic disco stylings in the '80s and MUCH more. Sorted alphabetically and by category, the site features loads of album covers, photos, audio samples, links, bios and more.

March 20, 2005

Rites Of Spring

The_old_egg_standing_on_end_trickThis morning at 7:33am, Airborn Event's Dan Bodah and his Marathon co-host Kevin Nutt celebrated the Vernal Equinox by successfully balancing Station Manager Ken Freedman on end like an egg.

Despite their Herculean efforts, the phones were still a little slow. A Nurse With Wound CD was given away to Listener Sherman in Cranston who pledged online. Ah_yeahhh_7
 

In further celestial developments, a Star Studded Aries Party will be jumping off at LIGHT, a night filled with New York's biggest names in fashion, sports, music and entertainment at one of NYC's sexiest venues. Contact Bless at Xposja Inc. for more  info.

March 14, 2005

And On The Seventh Day...

Make_babies_yoI was in the market for a serious curling iron and thought I'd take a stroll up 8th Avenue to my favorite hair product emporium. The metal gate was down and the lights were off but I'm pretty clear now about the store hours for Ray Beauty Supplies, "The  King  Of  Beauty  Supplies."

March 07, 2005

Opulence Be Thine!

Oh_my_gawd_i_love_that_putty_leathahBehold the website for Montgomery Greene, the swankily named luxury condo being erected right next door to WFMU. While the name Montgomery Greene could easily be mistaken for that of a contemporary country duo, it's actually the pot-holed Jersey City intersection where piss elegance meets unbridled tax abatement. But this amenity-laden white gloved Lady can only go up, up, UP! And it's that extra "E" in Greene that locks in the freshness of real estate values on the rise. And where extra E's reside, can infinity-edge lap pools be far behind?.....

Continue reading "Opulence Be Thine!" »

February 28, 2005

"House Party 4" Is Go!

Duritz5_3Kid_5








Counting Crows' Adam Duritz thanks his boy Kid for "endless inspiration and integrity" as he accepts Oscar for Best Adapted Kulti-Kinkz.

February 27, 2005

Separated at Birth?

Kdlang_2Cliveowen_1







K.D. Lang and Best Supporting Actor nominee Clive Owen make like Mary Magdalene and pray for bigger, better goody bags at tonight's Oscars.

Logo-Rama 2005

  • Winner (T-shirt): Gregory Jacobsen
    We received such an outpouring of extraordinary listener artwork submissions for our recent logo design contest that we just couldn't keep it all to ourselves.

    Hold your champagne glass high, extend your pinky, turn up your nose, and take a stroll through this gallery of WFMU-centric works from the modern era.