WFMU's Beware of the Blog

Laura Veirs on WFMU

Just confirmed! Laura Veirs! On WFMU! This Monday, December 12th, the ecclectic singer/songwriter will make a pitstop from her busy touring schedule for a live session on Irene Trudel's show. Expect songs from her fantastic "Year of Meteors" album, as well as her Nonesuch Records debut, "Carbon Glacier". Too bad this didn't happen last week when we got late word that Lady Sovereign was here, as I sense the two of them could've spun together a killer duet.
No matter -- When showtime rolls around, you can tune in live on any of WFMU's webstreams, or catch it on Irene's archive page whenever you'd like. In the meatime, here are a couple songs from the WFMU archives to get you primed for the performance: "Secret Someones" ++ "Cool Water" ++ "Galaxies". You can hear more on Laura's page on the Nonesuch Records website, and check tourdates on this page.

Ed Shepp Podcast In Effect

Just added to our growing roster of podcasts: The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment! Have the podcast version of Ed's weekly thematic misadventures, glitched-out interviews, and A.D.D.-ridden pop euphoria automatically zapped to your MP3 player by visiting our recently revamped podcast page.

Special thanks to Volunteer Ed Word for p-castifizing the show!

Live At The Stork Club: Quintron, The Frogs and Gorky's Zygotic Mynci

For a brief but delirious spell way back in the 1990s, The Stork haunted our halls.  That's him on the left.  Stork hosted a must-listen program called Live At The Stork Club, mostly on Sunday nights, if memory serves.  As the name might imply, mostly Stork hosted live musical guests, in his own impeccably gracious manner. 

I bet somewhere on The Internet there exists a full list of all the bands who served time in Stork's "Moose Room".  Unfortunately, most of this stuff happened during the last Stone Age, just before we began archiving all our programming.  Happily, many of these shows do exist, someplace, in some form or another; and where time, technology and endurance permit, we'll make the archives available to you.  Here's three vintage shows to get you started:

• Christmas With Quintron - Mr. Quintron, Miss Pussycat and Flossie & The Unicorns joined Stork on Xmas Eve, 1995 for a uniquely warped evening of organs, drum buddies & puppet shows.  Listen here (mp3 stream).
• The Frogs - Wisconsin's legendary Flemion brothers celebrate their newfound 90s celebrity among the era's alt-rock elite; spin records by Wesley Willis, Beck and Jewel; and perform an acoustic set of music positively guaranteed to get us some major FCC finery were this show to be aired today.  From July 20, 1997.  Listen here (mp3 stream)
• Gorky's Zygotic Mynci - On July 16, 1998, WFMU consummated its love affair with these Welsh psych-folk imps.   And Stork was there.  Gorky's would visit us three more times over the years, visiting Irene's show and my own show (twice, in fact).  Listen here for their first appearance, with Stork.

I was fortunate enough to attend these last 2 sessions - jump the flip if you're interested in my fuzzy recollections.

Lady Sovereign performs live on WFMU

No less a woman than S-O-V -- Lady Sovereign herself -- stopped by WFMU last Saturday for a live set on Plug and Play with OCDJ. The pint-sized UK rapper spits incredible stacatto wordplay that incises hectic beats like none other, and her WFMU set righted all residual wrongs leftover from her marred-by-illness NYC appearance last summer.

UPDATE: You can now stream the entire performance from WFMU's archives in either MP3 or Real Audio.!

Allez!

Off-Mic DJ Activities for December 2005

Ahh, the end of calendar year 2005 approacheth, and where matters of off-mic activities are concerned, we've got the proverbial bizzle in our hizzle, as the kids say. Now that our ceremonial decompression rituals associated with Record Fair recovery (let me just say that Pseu Braun gives one MOTHER of a foot massage...) have passed, we're tightening all the escape hatches for the ensuing end-of-year holiday madness that's on deck, but also pointing our collective bad selves towards tomorrow's horizons and whatever 2006 holds in store.

Take Fabio Roberti for example; erstwhile host of the Strength Through Failure program (currently off the schedule, but enjoying enormous celebrity on in the internet in archive form). Never one to be caught lounging around his stylishly decorated flat wasting time,  Fabio will soon be participating in a film presentation at the Galapagos art space in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The weekly "Ocularis" exhibit on December 5th will feature the films of Mr. Roberti, along with contributions from Larry 7, Jim Sharpe, Michael Wolf, and Oscar de la Renta. More info on the specifics of the screenings can be found here.

Later that week (December 8th at 8 PM), catch the L train back into Manhattan and do the thousand-meter-mosey downtown to Burrow (31 Crosby St. between Broome and Grand Streets) for Bronwyn C.'s reading of one of her self described "scary little stories" as part of the inaugeration of Burrow's non/fiction series of readings. Other participants slated to read are Jason Bitner of Found Magazine, and Glen Szabo of Sweet Action and Purple Fiction. Admission is FREE, and will feature delicious beverages courtesy of Sixpoint Craft Ales.

Upcoming Special Programs on WFMU

December is set to be a heartstopping month in terms of live music and special programming on our webstreams, archives, and ever-lovin' FM signal. Go to our upcoming page to peer through the bug splattered windshield that I like to call "the future" for Townes Van Zandt documentarian Margaret Brown, UK folkie Bridget St. John, MIT Professor Noam Chomsky, Garage Rock legends The Original Sins, Philly-style newcomers Jukebox Zeros, avant noiseniks The Noisy Meditation Band, and early 70s John Peel fave Michael Chapman -- all of whom will be swinging through our hallowed halls this month. Also worthy of special attention is the multi-band extravaganza that will be hosted LIVE on Transpacific Sound Paradise from Barbes in Brooklyn. If you're local to the NYC area, come down and experience some LIVE seat-of-the-pants radio with hosts Rob Weisberg and Irene Trudel! More info on all of these special programs can be found here.

Audible Hiss

Came across this great site which made my heart and ears ache for my bygone days as a cassette enthusiast. It's an alphabetical photo montage of... keeee-rist... seemingly every make and model of blank cassette manufactured from then 'til now, and given that they're all the exact same shape and size, the sheer diversity of design is pretty head spinning. Gazing down the list, my eyes fell on a few that even reminded me of old tapes from my personal collection that either bit the dust eons ago, never made it out from under the seat of my '81 VW Rabbit, got left at parties, were simply tossed to make way for other obsessions, or perhaps still lurk in some dark corner of my apartment, waiting to be uncovered and reprimanded for wasting precious storage space.

For example, this little jobby here was a bit of an industry standard of the late 80s. But it's also the exact make and model of the corny mixtape I made the year before I finished high school and was subsequently carted around from punk rock shows in Trenton, to parties of older friends who'd trotted off to art school in the city, to secret skateboard spots in Pennsylvania, and then back again several thousand times over. I know this tape still resides in a bag of crap in my closet and is sun-bleached and warbled from years and years of abuse. The tracklisting is way too embarrassing to include here, but I will admit that it includes a plainly retarded segueway from the Jesus & Mary Chain into 7 Seconds. (Links to Real Audio.)

This one here had a Buzzcocks (Real Audio) mix that someone made for me. Or maybe it was just a dub from a vinyl copy of "Singles Going Steady", which probably gave the above mixtape some fierce competition for play in the boombox at some point or another. Sadly, side two of this tape featured a dub of Joni Mitchell's "Blue" album, (stop laughing) which is a great example of the classic mis-step of tape making, especially when precious boombox battery power is at risk: Don't put something you're only in the mood to hear once a year on the flipside of something you consider part of your daily personal hygiene. To this day, I can not listen to the Buzzcocks without fashioning my hair into a tidy bun and pretending to be a librarian 45 minutes later.

Purchased at Topp's Appliances in East Brunswick, NJ for the explicit purpose of making a mixtape for the pasty-faced punky maiden I was madly in love with during senior year of high school. This tape was twice as expensive as the garden variety Maxell/TDK models in regular circulation at the time, but I figured it was important to spend a little cash on the lady. She was obsessed with Depeche Mode, (Real Audio) whom I pretended to like for a little while in the hopes of earning her sympathy. Instead, after graciously accepting the mixtape from me just prior to Christmas break, she never again spoke to or made eye contact with me, having been obviously disturbed by something on the tape. (Note to current teenagers attempting to win hearts of pasty-faced punky maidens by making them mixtapes: Reconsider the inclusion of any lengthy Hubert Selby spoken word pieces as "dramatic" conclusion to side one. Though fashionable at one time, this is now widely regarded as a fiercely stupid idea.)

That Boy Jumpy Sure Can Dance

Hello, Everybody—Nice seeing you again.

The WFMU Record Fair this past weekend was the most fun ever. Everyone had been waiting a year for it, and folks were ready. There were great live acts, and bizarre entertainment in the AV Lounge, and album cover modification procedures, and dancing, and food—and, of course, tons of vinyl, CDs, and stuff. So much stuff. Usually I can’t even buy anything at the Record Fair, because when I’m confronted by that much recorded material the acquisitive part of my brain overloads and shuts down. I walk up and down every aisle, and then I leave. But this year I was on a mission to find a recording that featured washtub bass, and I want to thank that one dealer who came down $5 on the price so I’d have enough money left to get home. But still … there was a lot of stuff.

I don’t know anybody who doesn’t have a lot of stuff, huge accumulations of pop-cultural detritus: comic books, plastic toys, baseball cards, books, records, CDs, 8-track tapes, shoes, hats, teapots, watches, fountain pens, videos, art, little bits of metal picked up off the street, shopping bags, postcards—anything—everything—all of it at once. I never thought of myself or my friends as being participants in the great American consumer economy, but when I look at our itty-bitty living spaces stuffed full of crap, I have to reconsider.

I think there are various categories of stuff, or that stuff is acquired for several different reasons. There are things that are useful, but I think most stuff is not acquired to be used. One very nice wristwatch is a useful thing, but 37 assorted wacky watches hanging from nails on the wall constitutes stuff. People who collect things may take solitary pleasure from their collection: a philatelist can sit down and leaf through his stamp album and enjoy the collection. But stuff often seems to require an audience. The thing I enjoyed most about my collection of jackalope postcards was the reaction of people who appreciated the humorous aspects of anybody having a jackalope postcard collection in the first place.

Off-Mic DJ News for November, 2005

Oh, sure, I hear you all saying: "What a paltry set of listings for the month of November!" Not even, naysayer. It's just that all of our DJs are saving themselves for the totally majestic and awe-inspiring Record Fair, which will be taking place November 4th through 6th at the Metropolitan Pavilion. Terre T and Dave the Spazz are just some of the FMU-style luminaries who will be appearing live and in the flesh at the Fair; to see who is else there, you'll just have to show up yourself!

If you don't get enough of the Spazz at the fair, however, you can catch him at his regular spin-o-rama at Union Pool, every Sunday night in November. Union Pool is at 484 Union Street (at Meeker) in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. If you arrive early, there's no cover. Actually, there's no cover whenever you arrive, but you can use the money you save buying Dave a beer, and then gyrating in front of him. 

Not Quite Quiet Time

Maybe we FMU folk just don't want to be alone in our own heads. We constantly placate ourselves with sounds.  Soothing and dreamy, digitally produced hums and blips, orchestrated and melodic, indigenous chanting, or as is often in my case mostly cacophonous, repetitive and sense-crippling . Whichever our pleasure, constant sound appeases us like a back rub after a breast feeding (including the regurge on the shoulder part).

So it came as a bit of a shock to discover via a couple of hours of slack research that there are those who might enjoy a some quiet time. Like the freaks at Noise Pollution Clearinghouse, or their weirdo crunchy S.F. brethren Sound Pollution dot org who would accuse members of our little community of being "Sound Abusers" with the following modus operandi:

The Psychological profile of a sound abuser:
From our studies, people that use noise in situations that are not qualified as an emergency, expose these forms of behavior:

1. Lack of awareness
2. Lack of responsibility
3. Intentionality
4.Selfishness
5. Lack of respect for others
6. Lack of respect for one self
7. Defiance, abusive behavior

Hey, what about number 8: Animal Masturbator? I can't understand people who feel the compulsion to make lists anyhow. Speaking of which, schizophrenics manufacture their own internal racket, as dramatized in this compelling audio slide show provided by your mental health care pals at National Public Radio. Sounds pretty hellish, huh? Almost like drilling a hole nine miles down into the Earth's crust to hear the Cries of The Damned.

WFMU Record Fair Approacheth November 4th, 5th, and 6th!

I suspect that most of you, like all of us here at WFMU, are pretty irresponsible about curbing the endless jones for acquiring more music. Do you visit foreign cities or remote college towns and casually try to sniff out the local record shops? Do you find it hard to resist thumbing through those boxes of stoop-sale vinyl that languish so helplessly on the curbsides of Carroll Gardens and Jersey City? Have you ever climbed INTO a dumpster because someone told you there were records in it?

Well, we have.

It should come as no great shock to you that every WFMU on-air personaility has a litany of vinyl or CD scoring tactics and stories that could easily be likened to peg-legged sailors swapping tales in some burnt-out bar stinking of vinegar and pipe tobbacky. That's part of the reason we cooked up the annual miracle that is The WFMU Record & CD Fair. And it's coming up again in just a couple weeks!

To set your imagination in motion, I could tell you about the indcredible Records & CDs I've scored in my years as a die-hard attendee of the Record Fair, or I could tell you about the amazing assortment of live bands that have graced the Record Fair stage. (Can I get a Metal Urbain? Is there a Cul de Sac in the house? Ladies and gentlemen, would Oneida, The Evolution Control Committee, Isaiah Owens, Dan Deacon, The Pontani Sisters, People Like Us, The Pretty Things, Flaming Fire, The Demolition Doll Rods, Brother JT, Laura Cantrell, and The Chocolate Watchband please approach the concession stand?) Or I could just tell you about the massive outpouring of WFMU-flavored love that this annual event has become. In so many ways, the Record Fair is the social event of the season for music scene elders, novices, band members, hipsters, weirdos, DJs, and even a celebrity or two because they already know what you're going to find out on November 4th, 5th, and 6th!

Little Steven Versus The Fucking Pussies

This via Irwin: Little Steven's keynote address at the Radio and Records 2005 Convention.

Date: Thursday, July 23, 2005
Place: Renaissance Hotel, Cleveland, Ohio
Audience: 250 Program Directors

Fred Jacobs introduces a four-minute video bio. At its conclusion, the Dovells' You Can't Sit Down explodes from the speakers as five Go-Go girls come out of the wings surrounding Fred, much to his discomfort. Little Steven enters to thunderous applause. He cuts off the music with a wave of his hand, leans into the microphone and says "Ladies and Gentlemen, Fred Jacobs."

The music returns as the girls exit. A stunned audience applauds wildly as Fred, very uncharacteristically, dances off with them.

Little Steven: Well that was worth the price of admission alone. (more applause and laughter... Steven paces with the hand held mic for a minute, and then. . . )

"I Love Radio! (applause once again erupts) And I feel nothing but love in this room because as I look around, I see only two kinds of people. Our beloved affiliates . . . and future affiliates. (laughter) So no matter what happens in this next half hour, remember what I just said. It's just family talking. And without any further disclaimers let me ask the only important question that is on my mind, and I'm sure you've been thinking about it also, especially lately.

(pause)

When Did The Fucking Pussies Take Over?

(applause and laughter)

When? Don't you look forward to the day when your grandson is on your knee and he looks up and says, "Grampa weren't you in radio once?"

DJ Comp of the Month: Mac's Big Seven Inch Collection

MP3s: 29 of them below the jump.

This month's MP3 compilation comes from our own Mac, host of the Antique Phonograph Music Program, who compiled a batch of sales-oriented seven inches for the WFMU record library. This collection was never offered during our marathons, Mac put it together specifically for the WFMU record library. So sing along with the Telephone Pioneers of America, shed a tear with Art Linkletter, and lasso some tefillin with Harold Stern, the Jewish Cowboy. If you like these, be sure to also check out Mac's Museum of Carboard and Oddity Records, one of the hidden gems of our vast website.

Off-Mic DJ News for October 2005

When our DJs aren't out scaring neighborhood children with bloody claws, grotesque masks or their own personal frightwigs, they honor the calendar's scariest month by offering up dark musical sacrifices to their own personal gods. Abandon hope, all ye who enter here:

On Saturday, October 1st, Downtown Soulville's Mr. Fine Wine, along with his minions Jared, David G. & the Chairman spin with their very special guest CUT CHEMIST (Jurassic 5, "Brainfreeze," "Product Placement," etc.). 10PM-4AM at the apt, 519 West 14th Street, Manhattan. Only $10!

The last "purpose-built" Communication Breakdown podcast arrives Monday, October 3rd and features all the songs Chris T. sang with the Hoof & Mouth Sinfonia since the tradition began in 2001. Communication Breakdown first appeared two weeks after Aerial View went off the air and has featured music, rants, interviews and lots of filth. The one element missing is what made Aerial View so compelling: real-time communication (hence the "breakdown") with listeners on the phone. What's that crap about one door closing and another opening? If all goes well, beginning October 14th, Communication Breakdown will no longer be time-shifted but will join WFMU's new "Mayhem in the AM" web-only roster, streaming live 6 - 9AM Friday mornings. A portion of the 3-hour program will subsequently be excerpted for the new-style Communication Breakdown podcast. The best part of this new paradigm? The phones will once again be open, with listeners able to call in from all around the world! And the filth will remain: because it's a webcast, the FCC's got no horse in this race. Saddle up, suckers!

Announcing the Fall/Winter WFMU Schedule

The new WFMU Schedule is up, kicking in Monday October 3rd, and running through June of 2006. Some new shows, new DJs, and old ones returning to the fold, and also a new twist to things: while JM in the AM continues to broadcast from Monday through Friday from 6-9 AM, we will be offering internet-only freeform broadcasting as well. This means basically there will be 15 new hours of 6-9 AM internet programming featuring some rotating slots and weekly shows from hosts like Chris T., John Allen, and the Cosmic Cowboy. We should also note that these web-only shows are free of FCC language restrictions since they won't be going out over the airwaves. Have a gander at the schedule in table form here, and as a long list with show descriptions here.

Laura Cantrell & Jason Forrest Make Beautiful Glitch Together

In the tradition of Lindsey and Stevie, Elton & Kiki, Captain & Tennille, Mitch & Mickey, and Shields & Yarnell, a classic male/female artistic duo has collaborated once again to make lovely sounds (or in Shields and Yarnell's case, non-sounds). In possibly the first commercially-available musical team-up of two WFMU DJs, Jason Forrest AKA Donna Summer (of Sunday night's Advanced D&D radio extravaganza) and Radio Thrift Shop Proprietess Laura Cantrell have released "Nightclothes and Headphones" (MP3) as a track on Jason's new Shamelessly Exciting CD (Sonig label) hitting the streets now. Laura's sweet pipes add some nice sheen to our boy's music, but don't worry, he gets back to blowing up David Essex in a digital blender and spitting his carcass out at 300 BPM shortly thereafter and we love him for it. Laura, as many of you may know, is basking in the glow of many fans and critics alike with her new full-length album on Matador, Humming By the Flowered Vine, played a fantastic set in Battery Park on July 4th on a bill with Yo La Tengo and Stephen Malkmus, and she may be playing in your neck of the woods sometime soon.

Off-Mic DJ News for September, 2005

Though I'm loathe to shatter the commonly held fantasy that all WFMU staffers (pictured right) live together in a big house, eat communal meals at a large wooden table, and are lead in song each night by Ken (front row, extreme left), who keeps time by beating a wooden spoon against an old rusty pot, the sad fact of the matter is that some of us have lives outside the immediate realm of broadcasting. This month, I am able to dish out the following details.

Music Director, Program Director, and self-described "hoagie kingpin" Brian Turner will be spreading the WFMU love like so much apple butter while DJing along with Plastic Crimewave Sound's Steve Krakow and Dublab Sound System at the giant ARTHUR Magazine festival on September 4th and 5th in Los Angeles. The show features three stages and musical performances over the two days from various luminaries of screen and stage like Sonic Youth, Yoko Ono, Merzbow, T-Model Ford, Circle, Comets On Fire, Sunn o))), Olivia Tremor Control, Earth, and many more. You can get more info on the hoo-haw by clicking here.

Closer to home, WFMU's Mr. Finewine, host of the Downtown Soulville program continues to spin
sixties and seventies soul 45s in all their infinite variety and magnificence on Wednesday nights at NYC's Botanica Bar, a glorious tradition that dates back to 1996. This is not "classic soul", but rather the obscure stuff that never made it out of Detroit, New Orleans, Norfolk, or Mobile. In other words, it's a death-defying (and drink-enabling) barrage of non-hits encompassing gritty drum-break-laden funk, sweet group soul with instantly stuck-in-your-head melodies, screaming southern deep-soul ballads, raw gospel, urban dance blues, mind-blowing overmodulated organ instrumentals, and more! You never know who may wander in, though recent sightings of Cut Chemist, Keb Darge, the Dirtbombs, and Eddie Vedder, would suggest it's worth finding out for your own bad self on any given Wednesday at Botanica, 47 East Houston St., NYC. 10 PM - closing, no cover.

Bronwyn's iPod Shuffle

Hello, Everybody—nsya.

There’s lots of things I don’t have, money being probably the main thing because if I had some money I might get some of the other things I don’t have now. Then I would have those things, but I wouldn’t have the money any more.

One of the things I don’t have is an iPod Shuffle. But if you go to the web site that explains how to automatically fill up your Shuffle with your favorite corporate listening product, you will see that Bronwyn's device is copying a tune called “Tonight We Fly.” I wanted to hear what that song sounded like, so I googled it and found a reference to a group called Divine Comedy, but I couldn’t find any links to that song or any little samples of it. I did find a record company called Divine Comedy that has lots of stuff I think I’d really like to hear. Maybe we can get them to send some things to Program and Music Director King Brian at WFMU. But even if I did have some money, I don’t think I would trade it for an iPod Shuffle, because if I were listening to real music I might not be able to hear the songs that are always on in my head.

Thanks for reading my irregular blog entry, and MGB.

"Phil Collins Minus One" And Other Promo Scams

MP3s: Collins on Collins, David Bowie Idents (1 | 2 | 3), King Coleman ID, Homer Simpson ID, Weezer ID, Weezer and Peaches Remix

Back in the days before Clear Channel owned every other station in the country, record labels were forced to do a little bit of legwork in order to promote their releases. Throughtout the 70's and 80's, one technique in their arsenal was to mail an "interview records" to every station in the country. Interview records were essentially spoken word karaoke interviews with rock stars, so that a local station could pretend that its own jocks had landed the big one. Stations received a record with the rock star giving answers to interview questions, which were supplied to the station on a script.

An hour or so in the production room with reel to reel tape and a razor blade, and voila! even the lowliest station in the country could air that exclusive interview with Jimmy Page! We still have one such interview record in the mighty FMU record library, "Collins on Collins," in which Phil Collins knowingly chuckles to your insighttful questions, and waxes philosophical on "Philmania" and the difference between "pop fans" and "music fans." Here is an MP3 of the Collins on Collins record which came out in 1985. If you really want to play along at home and ask Phil the questions so he can knowingly chuckle and reply to you, here is a pdf document of the script that accompanied the record.  Another variation on this theme were rock star "indents," in which a celebrity introduced his or her new single. Here are a few David Bowie idents we still had laying around: Bowie Ident 1 | Bowie Ident 2 | Bowie Ident 3 (Station Manager Ken)

"He felt that I was speaking directly to him. He thought that all of the songs were talking to him, that I was playing them just for him."

My fellow DJs, consider this a public service message in the interest of your well-being. After Pseu Braun's recent post on "DJs gone bad," I've decided to turn my attention to the offense end of the dark court where the DJ/listener relationship lobs (wilts?) back and forth... that lithium-dulled elephant in the studio (on hold just for you at the request line): the "listener gone bad." Let's face it: to a sanity-challenged, occasionally violent, needy warp-job of a human, radio DJs (so easily obtainable with the flick of a knob) are virtually like fish in a barrel. A typical DJs face-less, booming, God-like voice is like a wet palette (or a cutting board) for any wrong person's free-floating delusions, an invisible neurosis-magnet if you will. Just Google "stalk murder DJ radio host" and you'll find a veritable shooting gallery of famously tragic cases from all over the globe. And it's a shame indeed.

However, in my research for this post, I did notice one key factor in the survive-ability of stalked DJs: the ones who made the biggest extroverted drama-queen scream-y fit over their ordeal, from the very beginning, are the ones who are still alive. So DJs, next time you get an email from a listener that seems a tad too informed of your private life, or a phone call from a song-requester that's a little "odd"... don't shrink like a wallflower! Go seizure-fit ape-shit right there and then! Point your finger and screech like Donald Sutherland at the end of the re-make of "Invasion of the Body Snatchers!" Yell "ST-ST-STA-STALKER!" dramatically into the phone or at the computer screen that holds the sinister email! Let EVERYONE see you! Point out that listener's suspicious and inappropriate attention without a moment's hesitation! Do not give that potential stalker even a micro-second to start creeping you out... you need to completely crack-out and over-spazz from second one! If you're live on the air, even better! You just go downright banana peel-smoking, speed-monkey, shout-y crackers! Interrupt the music right in studio, live on the air, and yelp in tear-gulping terror at the top of your lungs just like Adrienne Barbeau in "The Fog" "AHHHH!! STAY AWAY FROM THE FOG!! I'M BEING STALKED!! AAAGGGHHH!!" Do not give a moment's consideration to how foolish or delusional you might seem yourself... it could be the most humiliating, but smartest, thing you ever do!

Some cases in point:

Off-Mic DJ Activities

Ah yes, it's finally summer. If you're not busy at the outdoor rock show, the swimming pool, the barbecue grill, the beachfront villa or your country estate, run on out to one of these hot and sweaty rock clubs to see your favorite FMUsters in the flesh. Or at least in their Bermuda shorts and straw boater hats.

First up, we've got Dave the Spazz spinning and shakin' his moneymaker every Sunday night at Union Pool, 484 Union Street (at Meeker), in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. There's no cover, and word on the street says the photo booth in this joint is pretty rockin'.

For the Manhattanites (or those who love them), we offer Downtown Soulville's Mr. Fine Wine, who's been spinning sixties and seventies soul 45s in all their infinite variety and magnificence on Wednesday nights at Botanica since...1996! This is not "classic soul"! This is the obscure stuff that never made it out of its hometown, whether that was Detroit or New Orleans or Norfolk or Mobile: non-hits encompassing gritty drum-break-laden funk, sweet group soul with instantly stuck-in-your-head melodies, screaming southern deep-soul ballads, raw gospel, urban dance blues, mind-blowing overmodulated organ instrumentals...you get the idea. Botanica. 47 East Houston Street (between Mulberry and Mott, downstairs), Wednesday nights, 10PM until closing. No cover.

From Wheels of Steel to Bars of Steel

Hi, radio fans, my name is Deb and I'm a Disc Jockey by trade. Maybe you've heard my radio show? I'm serving time in the Pen for stealing some blue eyeshadow from my local K-Mart. It sure can get lonely in lockup so I'd love to have a penpal. Write me, and I'll reveal my most recent playlist, and maybe we can trade Top Tens.

The recent jailing of WXRK's Crazy Cabbie had me wondering just what it is that attracts air personalities to trouble with the law. I found out that I'm probably in the minority of DJs because I haven't been caught doing anything that'd land me in front of a judge. From Tokyo Rose to pirate radio pioneers, more on-air voices have been caught up in legal scuffles than anyone can keep track of. Some recent cases include mic-hog Bubba The Love Sponge's tearful clearance of charges, and El Cucuy de la Manana, (translated: "The Boogeyman in the Morning"), arguably the most popular Spanish-speaking jock who's twice been in court for promoting the services of dangerously insane faith healers on his show. Some of these guys' troubles have to do with perceived invincibility and abuse of position. Like Kaiboni, a popular Zimbabwe DJ, or Stoney Berly Gibbs, an American club DJ in Germany. I think we radio folk should keep our noses clean and stick to trying to land our listeners in jail like Opie and Anthony or Goumba Johnny do.

This Jandek Must Die, and WFMU Revealed.

Despite the nicey-niceys you always hear on the radio, behind the scenes we can be a catty bunch.  As a listener, I used to imagine WFMU was some idyllic collective in common pursuit of a pure appreciation of art and culture.  Fuckin' hippy.  Ultimately, my perverse nature got the better of me, and I peeked behind the curtain - and summarily got my big notions pricked, toute de suite.  These People can't even get it together to enjoy a nice game of softball!

I have learned and gained much from the barbs, goofs, put-downs, cheap-shots, derision and humiliation WFMU DJs regularly inflict upon each other, but one recent near rumble illuminated something that's being lost to all of this: The Mystery. 

The subject of the scuffle was Jandek.

Oh boy... Should he or Shouldn't he have gone public?  Many think shouldn't.  Others think should, for a variety of reasons. Most think it's a pointless argument that is utterly irrelevant to the man himself and offered only for the distraction of critics, fans and DJs.  I'm with the Should Nots, but I should note that my opinion is based on a position of indifference.  The last time I played Jandek on the air was August 20th 2001, and it was as part of a collage, fer cryin out loud!

Nope, never really been a fan - but the one thing I could always feel excited about concerning the elusive representative from Corwood Industries was the absolute mystery that surrounded him.  One time, Irwin said this:

"...imagine a subterranean microphone wired down to a month-old tomb, capturing the sound of maggots nibbling on a decaying corpse and the agonized howls of a departed soul desperate to escape tortuous decomposition and eternal boredom." 

There you go!  Now imagine that while looking at this picture (hidden!)

No no no no no, that's not what Jandek music looks like!  Jandek music looks like Jandek album covers, some of which illustrate this here blog post (and all of which live here.)  And one time, Jandek said this: 

"It's probable that your crafted story would be more interesting than any other. Intrigue goes a long way sometimes." 

In fact, I think he was talking to Irwin.  So yeah, I agree with that Jandek.  Oh, maybe you've never heard Jandek.  If that's the case, click any one of these words to hear a different Jandek song played on WFMU.

I shall now reveal some WFMU Mysteries for you, and you won't like it!  Look below the fold, then remember the halcyon days when you had to rely on your own crafted story...

Dont Miss Out on Ed Shepp

Ed Shepp, a frequent guest on Pseu's Shows, lover of Nutella (Real Audio from the Food show ) and now one of WFMU's new DJs, has an amazing show, The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment. I love this show and hope we'll see it on many future Program Schedules.

If you are in fact missing out, let me fill you in. The show is a mixture of talk with friends (Real Audio from the America show ), musical interludes (Real Audio from the Celebrity show ) and other forms of audio madness. All twiddled with by Ed and pertaining to a topic which changes each week. I would argue that it is needed when faced with a blank stare and the  question "Freeform?" Just play some and your confused friends will be even more confused and isn't that what Freeform is all about?

Check him out for yourself! The Ed Shepp Blog Experience, CDs he is to blame for  and The Ed Shepp Radio Experiment.

 

Off-Mic DJ Activities

With summer upon us here at WFMU, many of our DJs have stumbled (slow-zombie style) from our hallowed halls and gotten themselves involved with all manner of DJ gigs, rock shows, live appearances and other extra-curricular activities in a feeble attempt to kiss up to the guidance counselor. Though there's little hope for any of us getting into college someday, a few noble attempts have been made lately...

Laura Cantrell, proprietress of the Radio Thrift Shop and solo artist en route to the stars has just released her third LP (her first for Matador Records) entitled "Humming by the Flowered Vine" to truckloads of ballyhoo. You can download an MP3 of the song "14th Street" by right-clicking here,  check out what Vanity Fair had to say about Laura in this favorable review, or marvel at the miracle that is the Interactive Laura Cantrell NYC Subway Map. That ought to be more than enough to nudge you in the direction of Battery Park this 4th of July at 3:30 PM, when Laura performs with labelmates Yo La Tengo as well as Steven Malkmus. (More info here, all the way at the bottom of the page.)

In the event that you're reading from the charming suburb of Jersey City that we like to refer to as "London" and have an open dancecard on the evening of July 22nd, you can go see Vicki Bennett, aka People Like Us, perform live at The National Film Theatre as part of the Optronica Festival. We're pleased as punch to have welcomed Vicki's wholly astounding Do or DIY back to our airwaves for the summer schedule, and we look forward to her next stateside visit with open arms and hastily made karaoke plans. (She and Pseu Braun do an utterly bitchin' "Bohemian Rhapsody"...)

WFMU's Amazing Floating LP

As much as we here at WFMU tend to reject characterizing ourselves as "nutty," "wacky," "boffo," "screwy," "batty," "balmy," "loony," "goofy," "jokey," "nutso," "waggish," "bonkers," "cuckoo," "harebrained," "zany," "daffy," "cockamamie" or otherwise anything even closely resembling a state of being "totally bananas," this can still be a pretty weird place to hang around. Case in point: WFMU's mysterious and now-legendary floating record album.

Yes, WFMU's alphabetically-arranged record library is not only home to some of the tools of our trade -- that trade being freeform radio -- it is also home to a genuinely nomadic record. A record that can not be filed alphabetically. A record that knows nothing about structure or boundaries and refuses to hemmed in by that whole limitations trip the other records and CDs are always trying to lay on it. Considered in this light, it is very much a microcosm of our mission here at WFMU. In another way, it's a corny Russian jazz record with a name I can't type out on this keyboard. What makes it truly unique, however, is that every time one of our DJs comes across it in the stacks, it is their duty to then refile it someplace else. Anyplace else.

As you can see by the detail of the jacket, this tradition dates back to 1990. No one around here will fess up to starting it, however... Even Irwin claimed not to know anything about it, and he constantly ribs me for being such a kid in comparison to his elder statesmanship at FMU. (He recently reasoned that he'd been into the band Grauzone (click to stream Real Audio) since "before [I] was born", which leads me to believe that Irwin thinks I am only 11 years old.)

But back to the matter at hand: Hokey Russian Jazz records. Here's an MP3 (right-click to download)  of the second song on side one, the title of which reads something that (in Russian) looks like "Mpncmotpn Aahr MactylIok", which according to one of those online translation programs means "Electric Pork Tuxedo". (Other songs on the record not available for download include "Aeebea" ("Asphalt"), "By Abte Aoepbl" ("Lick my Boots"), and "Xaomanhte B AaaoIihn" ("Marmalade and Heroin".)

Word on the street is that this hot combo's LP was released in a limited, hand-numbered run of only 800 copies (ours is #49). In order to secure yours, I'd suggest you soon start jockeying for position at our next Record Fair, to be held November 4th-6th in Manhattan. In the meantime, I'm heading downstairs to re-file the LP. I'm feeling drawn to somewhere between the Creedence records and the last RJD2 12"...

Eat More Shit More

This guy swallowed a camera, and seven and half hours later, voila! 

Amazing DJ Yoda Mini Mix

A few listeners asked me about this track I played this morning, so here it is for you: DJ Yoda's Annie Mac Mini Mix (mp3), which he did specially for Annie Mac's BBC radio program last month. And here is the set that DJ Yoda did for a British magazine, which we aired on Re:Mixology a few years back (realaudio archive ).
mp3 via boomselection

Audio Time-Travel

Fans of early American recordings get a chance to revisit the tunes of a bygone era every week on WFMU, courtesy of both the Antique Phonograph Music Program and Thomas Edison’s Attic, alternating with each other Tuesday nights from 7-8pm EST. The sounds of ragtime, Tin Pan Alley, vaudeville, 78 cylinders, and flapper music from the late 1800’s through the 1920’s are featured on both programs.

WFMU’s Studio B experienced a negative-106-year time/space glitch on June 14, when Rick Benjamin’s Paragon Ragtime Orchestra and acoustical recording expert Peter Dilg visited Jerry Fabris and the Thomas Edison’s Attic radio program.  As the 11-piece orchestra played Scott Joplin tunes into Dilg’s 1899 wax cylinder phonograph, radio listeners heard an Edison-era recording session in progress. Click to listen to the archive of this program in Real Audio or MP3 stream, and check out the playlist for more info.

Before audio’s electronic age of recording with microphones and amplifiers, musicians played into acoustical horns, which funneled the air vibrations onto a small diaphragm pointed with a tiny sapphire knife.  Sound pressure pushed the vibrating knife into the surface of a rotating wax recording blank, cutting a record groove.

If you’ve ever wondered about the distinctive sound of antique phonograph records, be sure to check out archives of Thomas Edison’s Attic and the Antique Phonograph Music Program. WFMU is now podcasting both of these programs, with XML feeds available here.

Murray Saul on Aircheck

If you missed the return of Aircheck last Thursday night, then you owe it to yourself to check out the Realaudio or the MP3 archives of Murray Saul. For years, we only knew of Murray as the "It's Friiidayyy!" guy, and we included a brief snippet of his insane on-air banter on Radio Archival Oddities, Vol. 2.

From there, he was ID'ed by former Clevelandites, who remember his rants as the city's top rated DJ on WMMS. Saul's take on the rapid-fire Top 40 radio announcer is unique to say the least, due to his utter inarticulateness. But he doesn't let a loss of real words stop him - he descends into yowza bowza wowzas, roaring infectious gutteralisms that'll soon have you joining in his celebrations of the weekend, potsmoking, sex and his endless tirades against the evil slavedriver.

Slap A Superstar DJ

The Urban 75 DJ Gallery lets you slap around your least favorite superstar DJ, or remix their faces. More fun than Chris Rock taking the stage after Fatboy Slim and calling him "Whiteboy Retarded." Also check out the Punch a Celebrity page. via Urban75

WFMU Yard Sale Photos

WFMU's Stunt Turntable

WFMU recently acquired what we in the radio biz refer to as a Stunt Turntable (MP3), which is to say, we've acquired a Numark TT-100 to aid in the creation of good, freeform radio. This new Stunt Turntable not only plays records, but it plays them backwards, forwards, and at pitches so freely adjustable that many DJs openly weep at the mere thought of it. This Stunt Turntable also has a number of visual elements that are sadly lost on the listening audience due to radio's limited opportunities for visuals. For your further education on WFMU procedure, here are a few recent stills of WFMU DJs pushing the new Stunt Turntable to the limits.

Brian Turner    Liz Berg     Scott Williams     Vicki Bennett     John Allen and Fabio

Imagine...

Dubya singing Imagine and Walk on the Wild Side (MP3). Here's the collection it came from. More Dubya remixes here. Thanks to Listener Michael.

Pseu Braun Sells Out To Best Buy

The film that was called "the best rock documentary since Gimme Shelter" by, uh, someone, "DIG!", is out on DVD. Double DVD. Double DVD with a special CD exclusive to Best Buy. "GULP", you people think; "what the hell is going on here? What is up with the Best Buy plug?" Well, there is nothing I can do about the Best Buy plug, but me needs go give a huge shout out and congratulations to WFMU's very own Pseu Braun for getting her interview (unedited, btw) with Anton Newcombe of the Brian Jonestown Massacre included on this very major release exclusive to the national retailer. This is the film that sort of studies the celebrity deathmatch style goings-on between BJM and the Dandy Warhols and more or less went head to head with Metallica's "Some Kind of Monster" at Sundance. You can listen to the full Brian Jonestown Massacre live broadcast and the interview that Pseu conducted on October 24, 2003 with Anton here,
But check out the DVD cover with special sticker alterting the savvy consumer to the particular version with the limited edition CD included, and the CD listing itself that credits her along with WFMU, without any typos. If you buy your own copy, you'll be pleased to see the Best Buy logo on the bottom of the cd sleeve that I lopped off for space considerations here. And if you haven't already, you might just want to actually check the movie out.

DJ of the Future

Attention vinyl-scratching, knob-turning, headphone-on-one-ear DJs: you are SO over.

via Boing Boing, Gizmodo, WebBeatZ

Jack radio format kicks in nationwide, WFMU opts to continue popular Joe format

Business Week Online's Joe Helm reports on the March of the Robo DJ's:

This is the so-called Jack format that's riding radio waves all across the U.S. In the last three weeks alone, the format, or a close variant, has debuted on stations in five major metropolitan areas -- Los Angeles, San Diego, Chicago, Philadelphia, and Indianapolis, adding to the half-dozen or so that had switched since Denver inaugurated the format in the U.S. a little over a year ago.

Will the new format be enough to rescue broadcast radio from its creative doldrums? I have my doubts.

The rules guiding a Jack-formatted station are simple: Unlike a typical radio station, which regularly plays 300 or 400 hits of a particular genre, programmers on Jack stations select 700 to 1,000 songs of completely different genres. Then, they sequence them to create what radio programmers call "train wrecks" -- Billy Idol will follow Bob Marley, Elvis after Guns N' Roses, and so on. And Jack stations often (but not always) use a smart-alecky recorded voice, rather than a live DJ, to make short quips between songs.

The DJ Pope

All this talk about banging the Pope with a silver hammer to make sure he's dead, and how he was a rock star. I don't know about the silver hammer story, but this pope wasn't a rock star, he was better than a rock star - he was a DJ! He had a night (author makes internationally accepted gesture of DJ'ing by holding cupped left hand to ear while making scratching motion with right hand) - the best night of any DJ in the whole sanctified world! Sure he was a laptopper, but that counts! Sony actually put out a legit CD of The Pope's mixes in 1999. It was called Abba Pater. Download "Cristo E Liberazione," the hit single from it, here. Still don't believe me? Download your faith with another DJ Pope - Shelley Pope, aka The Black Pope - instead.

DJ Riko's Whistler's Delight

A few listeners contacted me about a track by DJ Riko, called Whistler's Delight, so I thought I'd post it for you all. Download the MP3 here. It's kind of a "Stars on 45" for the whistling set. DJ Riko has a ton of other MP3 remixes for download here along with the full track listing of Whistler's Delight.

The Song in a DJ's Heart, Part II

For five years running now, WFMU has closed out our annual fundraising marathon with a cavalcade of singing DJs, each performing a song of their own choosing while backed up by the Hoof & Mouth Sinfonia -- a live karaoke band comprising even still more WFMU DJs. To paraphrase the great Scott Williams, (seen here taking a much-deserved break between sessions) who acts as Hoof & Mouth organizer and band leader supreme, this event is the source for our most animated water-cooler discussions in the 364 days that precede each annual performance of the band. Recollections of whose performances were the best, most drunkenly delivered, or most juxtaposed to that particular DJs playlists are all elements that figure into these discussions. (Efforts to convince Fabio to perform "True" by Spandau Ballet have consistently failed, year after year.)

We're gluttons for tradition around here, and tradition clearly dictates that this mess takes place not only on the airwaves of WFMU, but on a webcam feed as well, effectively delivering these hastily rehearsed renditions of the classics live from our main studio and into the hard drives of FMU listeners scattered across the globe. This year, ace listener Jeff T not only captured and recorded the entire thing, but has edited it down into convenient, DJ-sized chunks, which we are now pleased to present for your horror/amusement here.

The Song in a DJ's Heart

I don't lay claim to much, and I'm not one of those guys who brags about doing, seeing, hearing, or smoking something way before it got trendy and all the kids in Brooklyn started doing it, but I'm also a big enough guy to stand up and take the blame for something bad that I've done. Like the time I accidentally burned down that puppy sanctuary. I'm still losing sleep over that one.

A more recent case in point: You know how Kenny G has been starting his Wednesday show by singing a few songs karaoke style? Ummm.... that's kinda my fault. He started doing that after I organized a WFMU night out at a Chinatown karaoke bar last year. If memory serves, this particular evening was a going-back-to-England party for Vicki Bennett, and featured brilliant performances from Monica ("Never Been to Me"), Pseu Braun (some Queen song with a lot of "la la la"'s in it) and Ken ("We Are the World"). Actually, Ken was up on the stage 3 or 4 times that night. Total karaoke whore, that guy is. Those flaming shots obviously go right to his head. Anyhow, everybody's performance was out-of-the-ballpark stellar and earned the appreciation of the other patrons as well as a drunk dwarf sitting on the side of the stage, who pumped his fist with approval after each DJ's performance.

Except when Kenny G sang.

Kenny had never sung karaoke before that evening and I'm sure he wouldn't mind me telling you that he rather plainly sucked at it. (Certainly not the fault of the song he picked, which was "Hava Nagilah" -- a cornerstone of the entire karaoke phenom.) However, I think that evening is what planted the seed in his head that lead to catastrophic on-air events such as this: (Right click to download AVI file of Kenny and Irwin singing karaoke on the air last Wednesday.)

It is for this and at least 51 other Wednesday afternoons that I offer my most sincere and humble apologies for.

This all got me thinking about other instances of DJs singing on the airwaves of WFMU. (You know, lest you think Kenny and Irwin have the market entirely cornered...) Now for the purpose of this blog post, I am purposefully excluding the extravagant cavalcade of singing DJs that's facilitated by the Hoof n' Mouth Sinfonia at the conclusion of our annual fundraising marathon each year, and scheduled to occur once again on March 20th at 7 PM. That's a whole 'nother blog post for a different day.

What follows here are just a few shining examples of WFMU DJs spontaneously bursting into song while behind the mic, in the midst of their shows. It is by no means a complete list, and if you know of other instances and can supply me with specific archives and approximate start times, feel free to send 'em along and I'll add them to the permanent record.

Tom Scharpling sings Elton John

Ken Freedman sings "Begin the Beguine"

Pseu Braun, Scott Williams, Mike Lupica, Megan Murphy, Vicki Bennett, Maria, and Marty the Dog sing "Annie's Song"

Charlie Lewis sings "Goin Out of my Head"

Nachum Segal wraps up the 2003 JM in the AM Marathon

All sound clips will open with Real Player.

And as stated, since we are currently in the midst of the WFMU Fundraising Marathon, which is traditionally the time of year when the most DJ-soul-baring takes place, I would expect a lot more spontaneous croonings, incantations, and tuneful squakings in the coming days. And make sure you tune back in on the 20th to hear how alcohol coupled with extreme fundraising exhaustion affects our collective perception of good taste. With a live karaoke band taking center stage.

Minimal Techno Cats

Lou Z of The Push Bin on WFMU submits another nice Macromedia DJ toy for your consideration. (From Lou via Metafilter.)