American McGeeti
An Interview with American McGee
by Fragmaster
 |
Would you buy a used computer game from this guy?
(And no, he's not the Bastard son of Elvis.) |
You may be proud to be an American, but if you where actually NAMED American, you might consider cutting off a major bodily appendage or something. But not American McGee... no sir! You'd simply get a job at id Software and do a lot of keen stuff like flying into power lines and hanging out strange, mentally disturbed people. Now how cool is that!
I recently sent one of the most notorious seducers of young llamas in history an interview, and even though he was pretty busy
working on Quake 2 and didn't answer all the questions fully, here it is.
American McGee Interview
FM: (Fraggy) Hey ya Don Juan of Llama lovers you.. how's it going?
AM: (Opposite of PM): Pretty busy right now... this is going to be an interview full of short answers I think.
FM: This is like impossible, but tell anybody reading this who's never heard of you, who you are and what you do.
AM: I am, as my name states American McGee. I have worked at id Software four years now... started here as tech support and moved up to my current position of designer. Currently working on Quake2 maps and sound effects.
FM: Sowhatcha workin' on fer Quake 2?
AM: Uh, I just told you that. Maps and sound effects :)
(Smartass... I hate email interviews :) -Frags)
FM: What new stuff will Quake 2 have?
AM: New stuff. That's all I can tell you. If I told you more I would be killed and thrown out of a moving car.
FM: Can you at least maybe give us the NAMES of some of the levels your working on? How could that hurt? :)
AM: Well, that could hurt a lot. They would throw me out of the moving car without killing me first. But here are some name you can chew on:
amlev1
amlev2
Something tells me you won't be able to infer much from those :)
(Well, I can infer yer being a lazy ass and only working on two levels, dammit! :) -Frags)
FM: What was it like to work with Trent Reznor? Did he eat cereal?
AM: Very cool. He's a normal guy... he just gets to go up on stage in front of 20000 people, scream his head off and break things. I've seen him eat cereal... he used his mouth... like the rest of us.
FM: Why the nickname Tokay? What does it mean?
AM: There is a type of gecko called a "tokay". They are some of the meanest lizards you can buy... I bought a few after my ex-girlfriends cat ate the helpless lizard I had. I thought, "let's see you try to eat this you furball". Anyway, they bark, bite, and scratch... and make wonderful pets for young children. Anyway, I liked the name, figured people would have no idea what it meant, and went with it.
FM: Don't you play Quake with your screen approx. the size of a corn chip?
AM: Uh, actually about the size of a corn _flake_. Yes. I get sick playing with a full screen... and I have this idea that playing with a small screen works better.
FM: Do you like w00d?
AM: No... but I like to make w00d. And using my w00d is also fun.
FM: How do you feel about lumberjacks? (guys who cut w00d)
AM: They scare me.
FM: So Your rival Janitor Bob managed to steal Candy, your favorite Llama from you. How did that make you feel?
AM: To be honest I'm kinda tired of the Janitor Bob, llama, w00d thing. It was fun for a while but I have decided to lead a life free of these things from now on. Well, except w00d.... I still like to make w00d. I gave Candy to some guys at the glue factory. They said they could use her here and there.
(Yer off the hook, sCary... -Frags)
FM: Are you jealous that she became pregnant by either Bob or sCary while she was at Hipnotic?
AM: I was... But she's glue er, I mean, gone now... No big deal.
(Yer off the hook, sCary... -Frags)
FM: How do you feel about Janitor Bob in general?
AM: I try to avoid feeling about him at all. He stinks and the smell rubs off if you touch him.
FM: How good are you at Quake? You can beat everybody at id, right?
AM: I can still beat everyone here.... but that's not saying much anymore. Since we started working on Quake2 my DM skills have gone down the drain. Too much work and not enough play makes my moves go away... heh... a little rhyme.
FM: Who do you think might be able to beat you at Quake?
AM: A blind spider monkey on crack could beat me right now.... Like I said it's been a while.
FM: What do you do when your not working?
AM: I spend time with my wonderful fiancee Samantha. Eat, sleep. Nothing very exciting right now. I plan to buy a powered parachute when we are finished with Quake2 though. Then I can go flying around running into power lines and such.
FM: What websites do you follow, what T.V. shows do you watch?
AM: Blues is the only website I "follow". I come into work, check Blues... each lunch check Blues... go home check Blues... three times a day like religion. Aside from that I check out misc. Quake pages from time to time... TV? Well, the only show I ever really watch is X-Files. Nothing else really interests me.
FM: What's the coolest thing that ever happened to you while you where wearing pants?
AM: Uh... there are too many things. But if I randomly pick one... seeing my fiancee naked for the first time :)
(I thought Llamas where always naked... -Frags)
FM: You and sCary wrote the Llama FAQ. How has this effected your life? Do you feel it was a success?
AM: No time to answer.
FM: How much email do you get a day? Do you get a lot of lame email? (Besides mine)
AM: Jeezus. I have about 400 msgs in my mailbox right now. I just started at the top in an attempt to get rid of some of it and found this. Pretty sad huh... Took me like a month to answer your questions :) I get tons of lame mail... but I try to answer as much as I can... the people who wrote the mail don't think it's lame, and I feel bad deleting something that someone wrote me. Probably explains why there are 400 email in my inbox right now. WooHoo there's 4 more just now. Answer one, get 4 new ones :)
FM: Who's your dream Llama?
AM: Time is short.
(And I thought horses had strange names... -Frags)
FM: Is it true that yer leaving id to form w00d software? Is it true you are merging with Maxis to produce Sim-Llama? (A llama breeding simulation)
AM: Time is really really getting short.
(Maxis could not be reached for comment)
FM: What's yer favorite food?
AM: Sushi
FM: What are your favorite games that id didn't make?
AM: List is too long...running out of time here.
FM: Anything else you wanna say before we get to "complete the sentence"?
AM: Uh. Must get back to work.
FM: "If I was locked at the Llama cage at the Zoo, I would...
AM: ...Not be able to impress chicks.
FM: "Quake 2 will...
AM: ...be out in stores when we're finished with it.
FM: "If Janitor Bob was here right now, I'd....
AM: ...Smell something stinky.
FM: "The best level I ever made was....
AM: ...DM2
(That's Claustrophobopolis, the level with a "hobo" in it. -Frags)
FM: "The worst thing about working in Tech support was....
AM: ...Getting my ass kicked by Shawn from 8 in the morning until 5 at night 5 days a week because I didn't know how to play DOOM DeathMatch until I had been here for a while.
FM: "Sex....
AM: ...Is something I can't seem to get enough of.
FM: "If I was attacked by a Zookeeper for hurting his Llamas and all I had to defend myself was some lint, my wallet and a bronze dopefish figure, I would...
AM: Time.
(#$@&*#$@#$ @!!!! -Frags)
FM: "John Carmack is...
AM: ...A genius.
FM: "sCary is...
AM: ...The love of my life.
FM: "Shakespeare is...
AM: ...Not something I really care for.
FM: "This interview was...
AM: ...Long. And I have to get back to work now.
Well... American has places to see and people to do (or something like that) I guess. I'm sure we can look forward to tons of strange sounds in Quake 2 (I bet if you reverse them, they'll sound like llama bleats or something) from American. That should seem disturbing, but Quake has made most of us immune to any sort of human-like feelings whatsoever.
And that's cool. Thanks id!
Fragmaster
(And be sure to check out the Classic NVT Hall of Fame News Story: American
McGee sued for Copyright Violations)
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