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Breastisis December 28, 2005 Holy jeots (titties), batman. Thanks dudette. You're the third person to scribble my name on a body part. Looking at your cleavage with my name, Roji, written on it makes me happy. For a second, I thought I saw your jeot kokji (nipple)....dammit. If you'd like to join this crusade, e-mail your pictures at rosieyatch@gmail.com. comments (3) 50's December 27, 2005 50 ?'s (Peeled from Umikim) 1. Your name spelled backward? eisor, sounds like a dinosaur. Roar. Die, fuckers. 2. Who is your best friend of the opposite sex? Buddy H. 3. The last thing you downloaded onto your computer? an MP3 from N-Dawg, S.C.O.M. 4. Have you ever licked a 9 volt battery? Yes, but that was in elementary school. I don't do stupid shit like that anymore... 5. Last time you swam in a pool? In Corea? 6. Have you ever been in a school play? Nope. Why? When I'm living my own drama? 8. Type of music you dislike most? Old Corean songs...shit puts me to sleep. 9. Are you registered to vote? Yeah, vote or die. 10. Do you have cable? I had to, otherwise my mom wouldn't be able to watch her Corean channels. 11. Have you ever ridden on a mo-ped? No, it's bad enough I drive a car. 12. Ever made a prank phone call? Yeah, *67 bitches. 13. Like anybody right now? Yeah... 14. Would you go bungee jumping or sky diving? sky diving 15. Furthest place you ever traveled? Corea. 16. Do you have a garden? Not yet. 17. What's your favorite comic strip? Garfield..then Heathcliff. 18. Do you know all the words to the national anthem? Yeah. 19. Shower, morning or night? Shower when I feel the need to. 20. Best movie you've seen in the past month? Syriana 21. Favorite pizza toppings? Spinach, feta cheese, sun dried tomatoes, and red onions. 22. Chips or popcorn? Kettle corn. 23. What type of deodorant do you use? Soft and Dri 24. Have you ever smoked peanut shells? No...the fuck? 25. Have you ever been in a beauty pagent? No, but if I was, I'd win the blue ribbon. 26. Orange Juice or apple? OJ 27. Who were the last people you went out to lunch with? Buddy H. 28. Favorite type chocolate bar? Mr. Goodbar 30. Last time you ate a homegrown tomato? Sick, the only tomatoes I like are sun dried. 31. Have you ever won a trophy? Yes, I'm a fucking winner. 34. Ever ordered from an infomercial? No, but my mom's trying to buy some stupid ass shit from the Corean Home Shopping Network. I guess this is where I get the "you buy useless things" from. 35. Sprite or 7-UP? 7-UP yours 36. Have you ever had to wear a uniform to school/work? Scrubs. 37. Last thing you bought at Walgreens? Concealer 38. Ever thrown up in public? Yeah...I tossed my goodies all over Khole. 39. Would you prefer being a millionaire or finding true love? True love 40. Do you believe in love at first sight? No. 41. Can ex's be just friends? No, that's why they're x's. 42. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My daddy. 43. Did you have long hair as a young kid? Yup. 44. What message is on your voicemail machine? All I know is that I just say my name on it. That's it. 45. Where would you like to go right now? Where my Daddy is and I'm not talking about where his ashes are either. 46. What was the name of your first pet? Hamsters...I didn't name them because they procreated so quickly, I forgot who was who. They were referred to as "Hammy's". 47. What kind of back pack do you have, and what's in it ? North Face 48. Last incoming call on your phone? Mister 49. What is one thing you are grateful for today? My family 50. What do you think about most? My life, the future, where I'm headed...shit like that. comments (10) Day After Christmas December 26, 2005 Currently listening to: Holly Cole-Make It Go Away Make it go away or make it better Isn't that what love is supposed to do? Make it go away or make it better Cause I would do either one for you This is not the way you should see me This is not the face I recognize Could I lay my head down here for a moment? Would you sing to me like I'm your child? Cause I'm not angry I'm not crying I'm just in over my head You could be the angel that stayed on my shoulder When all of the other angels left Make it go away Cause I am weak and This is more than one should have to take If you do this for me then I will promise I'll make it go away for you someday There are reasons with silver linings There are lessons but I dont care Cause I just need a hand that I can hold onto When it's darker than death out there Oh, and I'm so cold And so far away from my home But tonight you're You're where I belong You're everything right When I'm everything wrong Make it go away or make it better Isn't that what love is supposed to do? Make it go away or make it better Cause I would do either one for you comments (4) Christmas 2005 December 24-25, 2005 Merry Christmas. Thanks to everyone that sent me gifts, cards, text messaged, emailed, IM'd, and called. Love you guys. Happy birthday, Jesus. This is my first Christmas without my Daddy... I thought about going to Pechanga to be with other lonely souls, but my brother's car is blocking mine and he's sleeping. We went over to Mike's and had a Christmas Eve dinner. I decided not to drink either. Smelling the wine was making me nauseous. Me, AssiMOH, Mike, and Dear Daniel watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Came home and we watched South Park. I didn't go to church. I think my brother went though. Nothing says Merry Christmas like waking up and turning on the tv to watch Gladiator. "AM I NOT MERCIFUL???" I can't believe that movie's 5 years old... Fuck, I'm getting old. My phone is acting weird. Maybe it's time to get a new one and a new number. Damn Vikings lost. Now they're fucking out. Fucking Ravens. At least Hyoonie and I still have our KGB's. comments (12) Happy Festivus #3 December 24, 2005 At the Festivus dinner, each participant tells friends and family of all the instances where they disappointed him or her that year. Many people have disappointed me, I've managed to cut them out of my life like a cancer. But the worst is when I disappoint myself. Way to go winner....way to go. comments (8) Another Survey #2 December 24, 2005 I got tagged by Umikim. Body: True/False Survey I have consumed alchohol: Yes Smoked: Yes I've run away from home: I ranaway a few times. Whenever Birdgirl hears the song Runaway by Real McCoy, she thinks of me. I shut others out when I am depressed: Yeah, I'm a good buzz killer. I open up to others easily: Depends on my mood. I hate more than love: No. But I have a lot of haterade. I own over 4 rap CDs: Tribe, Raekwon, Wutang, Snoop, Dre, Tupac, Biggie, Eminem, and more. I love Disney Movies: Only some. I don't kill insects: I kill them by spraying anything I can get my hands on, perfume, Febreeze, toilet bowl cleaner. I curse regularly: This question is fucking dumb. I slipped out a "lol" in a conversation: No, that's fucking stupid. Who does that in real life? I have a Job: No, but I go to school. I am self conscious: What girl isn't? I like to laugh: Yes. I smoke a pack a day: No. Smoking kills. I can't swallow pills: I can't swallow horse pills. I eat fast food weekly: No. I have been out of this country: Canada, Mexico, Corea, and Japan. I believe in ghosts: Obviously you didn't watch Ghost with Patrick Swayze. I can't sleep if there is a spider in my room. No I can't sleep with a fucking spider in my room...what if it goes in my mouth? I am very ticklish: Yes. I love white chocolate. It's aiight. I bite my nails: No. I am comfortable being me: Sometimes. I play video games. Sometimes. I have been lost in the city: I need a fucking TomTom. I had a serious surgery: No. I have kissed a stranger: No. Hugged a stranger: Yes. Been in a fist fight: Yes. Better back the fuck up before you get smacked the fuck up. Been arrested: Not yet. Argued for the fun of it: Yes! Swore at your parents: Yeah, I called my mom a bitch in high school and she gave me the look of death. That was the first and last time. Skipped school: Yes. Been punched: Yes. Come close to death: Driving accidents. Had stiches: No. Bitten someone: Yes. I like to leave my mark. Got the chicken pox: Yes and I infected everyone in the neighborhood and my cousins as well. Ridden in a taxi: Yes. Been fired: No Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back: Yes...*sigh* Stolen something from your job: Yes, pens and pencils. Stupid shit like that. Slept with someone you shouldn't have: No. Been married: No. Saw someone dying: Yes. Been on a plane: Yes. Thrown up in the past 2 years: I've been throwing up every fucking weekend practically. Met someone in person from the internet: Yes. Had someone cheat on you: Yes. Miss someone right now: I miss my Daddy. Answered every question on this quizz honestly: Yes. I tag everyone. Happy Festivus. comments (8) No No Drama...#1 December 24, 2005 I need to be less of this. Maybe that will be my 2006 resolution. I got in another drunken argument with Mister. I'm such a fuck up sometimes. I wish I could just disappear. I think I need some alone time.. Maybe my name should have been Calamity, instead of Rosie. "When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me." comments (8) Rosy Life December 22, 2005 I started watching Jang Mi Bit Insaeng (Rosy Life) awhile back and I'm still hooked. Fucking Choi Jin Shil did it again. She sucked me into yet another one of her dramas. It's bad enough that I still hear the Byul Eun Nae Gasoom Ae soundtrack running through my head sometimes. Of course there's extra-marital affairs, cancer, death, hugging in the rain, arm grabbing, drinking at the pojangmachas, and physical abuse. 41.5% of the country were watching the final episode. And I was all worried that I wouldn't have anything to watch after Kim Sam Soon. I'm going to try to make Mister watch it tomorrow..maybe if he sees Lee Tae Ran on the screen, he'll watch...I know today's episode is going to be fucking good. It's on #19 at 2140. It reminds me of when a particular oppa would call me Jang Mi (rose). Question: Do you agree with this? It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. Please discuss. Thanks. comments (18) X-Friends Parte Dos December 21, 2005 This poem is to my x-friends of 2005. *cough* Ahem. OK. I made a lot of new friends this year. I dropped a few friends that I thought were dear. I have to maintain a certain balance. I'm trading in for a better model, more elegance. A friendship is supposed to grow. With you, it was all about sluttin' it good and giving a damn show. You thought I was dumb. But you don't even know where I'm from. Monkey girls and sluts kept you warm at night. Anything if the price was right. Immaturity, manipulating, lying, and deception. In the end, you're the only one crying wanting affection. Everyone will figure out your game. Nothing will change though, it'll be the same. Everything's a joke to you. You're a joke to me, fool. No goals, no ambitions, no motivation. No hope for you or salvation. I realize you kinda suck. I just don't give a flying fuck. It's tragic, dramatic, and catostrophic. Now there's nothing between us except static. The End comments (4) What...Am...I? You? Parte Uno December 21, 2005 You Have a Choleric Temperament You are a person of great enthusiasm - easily excited by many things. Unsatisfied by the ordinary, you are reaching for an epic, extraordinary life. You want the best. The best life. The best love. The best reputation. You posses a sharp and keen intellect. Your mind is your primary weapon. Strong willed, nothing can keep you down. Your energy can break down any wall. You're an instantly passionate person - and this passion gives you an intoxicating power over others. At your worst, you are a narcissist. Full of yourself and even proud of your faults. Stubborn and opinionated, you know what you think is right. End of discussion. A bit of a misanthrope, you often see others as weak, ignorant, and inferior. What Temperment Are You? What Your Sleeping Position Says You have a passion for everything - including sleeping. Outgoing and brash, you tend to still shock those who know you well. You tend to be selfish. You are the most likely type to hog the covers. You gravitate toward comfort and don't like extreme situations. What Does Your Sleeping Position Say About You? You Passed 8th Grade Science Congratulations, you got 7/8 correct! Could You Pass 8th Grade Science? comments (4) THE WEEKEND REVIEW December 16-20, 2005 This is going to be a long entry. Longer than the paper that I was working on. The weekend was described as a(n): debacle of epic proportions triple abortion stillborn fiasco abomination of mankind Key players: AssiMOH Buddy H Dear Daniel Fool #2 Han Job Hot Liz Me (Rojiboji) Mister Monkey Girl Friday Night: Drove up to Buddy H's pad in the LBC! Met up with AssiMOH, Dear Daniel, and Han Job for a samgyupsal (pork bacon cut from the belly) smackdown. I had a couple bites of kalbi (bbq beef) and shots of soju. The bitch ass waitress never brought out our chadolbaegi (thin sliced beef). Shekki. The night was still young, so we decided to go to Bleu in K-hole. Han Job was talking about some bartender that he was interested. I thought he was talking about the bartender I knew. When I got to Bleu, I was already buzzed and I told Han Job to ask her if she was a Seventh Day Adventist (because the bartender I was talking about was). Turns out that it was the wrong girl and I cockblocked him without even knowing it. The bartender thought that Han Job asked her if she had an STD. We all had a good laugh at that one...and the ajumma manning the bar. Yeesh. We ordered two large carafes of lemon soju. I didn't even make it to the second one because I was feeling like shit. Buddy H drove me over to Mister's. Even though I was still on mensuh, we hit it, and when he pulled out he had a slug (blood clot) attached to his cock. I think he threw up in his mouth when he saw the bloody mess. After he was done washing up, I went into the bathroom and washed my snatch. I was feeling another wave of nausea hit me and I barfed in the shower. I looked down and saw lil chunks of kalbi. I pushed them down the drain with my foot and proceeded to shower. I flopped into bed like a fish out of water and called Buddy H. He had just gotten home at that time. I told Buddy H that I was glad that I didn't barf in his M3 or on Mister. Saturday: My ass woke up at six in da mornin. I tried going back to sleep, but I couldn't. I text messaged everyone. Mister gave me his keys so I could walk to Coffee Bean. Buddy H came to pick me and Dear Daniel up to go to lunch at Holiday Cafe in San Gabriel. I was still hung over and picked at my spaghetti. Buddy H had some Chinese version of a Big Mac. Afterwards, we went to Pasadena to see if the Chronicle Wine Cellar was open (if the flag is up, then it's open). Dear Daniel heard on NPR that this tiny store was the shit. And it was. A tiny shop for novices and collectors alike: no snobbery, great prices and excellent wines. I got 4 bottles for Mister's family. Dear Daniel got 7 bottles for himself. Buddy H got 6 for himself. We're not wine-o's.... Dropped Dear Daniel off at his place. Buddy H and I went to Starbucks and witnessed a bum fighting with another bum and a driver. Then we went to Wendy's. We slowly headed towards the Park Hyatt in Century City. Buddy H brought 2 Costco bottles of Belvedere and I brought my leftover Malibu. I started writing notes down for my paper with Buddy H assisting me. I took a nap until Buddy H told me what was going on with Fool #2. Apparently, Fool #2 left his ID in Pomona from the night before. He had all day to fetch it, but he didn't. So now he's ID-less. Instead of all of us eating in Century City, they decided that they were going to eat at In-N-Out. We were no longer going to The Lobby in Hollywood and he suggested that we go to a Corean cafe instead because they won't card there. Buddy H called up Dear Daniel to figure out what Corean shithole we should go to. Hot Liz said she would be able to hook Fool #2 with an ID and get a table at Ivar. We told Fool #2 to go ahead and we'd meet up with them later because chances were, he was going to change venues again and it was just better to have him actually get into a club first, than go around calling everyone up about another change. Buddy H and I met up with Dear Daniel and Han Job at Boss Sushi in Beverly Hills. I had 4 pieces of Tamago and warm sake. Service sucked shit, but Han Job gave our waitress a good tip because of her smile, while I was checking out the sushi chef. Dear Daniel and Han Job bailed out on going to Ivar. I think they were annoyed by the fact that we weren't all going to dinner together and that the plans were changing on an hourly basis. In fact, no one showed up that I invited. But I think that's a good thing. Buddy H and I showed up at Ivar. My inner diva was coming out and I told Buddy H that if we had to wait in line for more than 10 minutes, that we should leave. We didn't even have to wait in line. Our table (ottoman pieces, skyy 90 bottle with OJ, for $350) was in some remote area away from everyone else except for the heinous looking group of Asians who had a table next to us. I swear to GOD, I've never seen so much ugliness in one general area. No amount of vodka could help me out. Buddy H and I thought that this was some kind of cruel joke..as if we were stuck in the twilight zone or something. Fool #2 said he'd bring out the girls, but wtf? There were only 2 girls in this sausage fest. Me and Hot Liz. I think they played Don't Cha and My Humps about four times...Check it out~ Buddy H and I were dancing upstairs while the rest of the group was scattered around the club. Then we went back downstairs and that's when the real drama started. Hot Liz (5'9", slender, and fucking HOT) has a thing for Fool #2. Why? We're not sure why. Anyways Fool #2 dissed Hot Liz for a Vietnamese girl aka Monkey Girl. Monkey Girl just came out of nowhere. The slizz just started grinding and jumping on Fool #2 like a god damn monkey. I had about enough of this suicide mission and I asked Buddy H if we could go back to the hotel. Hot Liz took off without saying bye to anyone. I told Buddy H that we should have invited her to the hotel too instead of having her drive an hour home alone. Angry. But neither of us had her number and Fool #2 didn't want to disclose her # to Buddy H. So it was just the two of us. While Buddy H was driving, I told him that I was starving! Put the feedbag on me!! We got back to the hotel and ordered room service. I had a mini pizza and Buddy H had an omelet with shoestring fries. The bellhop and room service were fucking awesome. I felt like a damn trust fund baby living it up, having people at my disposal. But all good things come to an end...and I woke up. Sunday I went around the suite and took pictures with my shitty ass phone cam. I noticed that my eye makeup on my left eye was gone. I must have rubbed it on a pillow or something. I took a King Kong shit and advised Buddy H not to go in the bathroom for about an hour. We checked out and went to meet up with Han Job, AssiMOH, and Dear Daniel at SW Diner, near the Kirk Douglas theater. Buddy H and I were telling the rest of the group about last night's debacle. They shook their heads and were glad they didn't show up. Then we started making fun of people, especially people that act like kijibaes. Once again, we ordered too much food. I had a bagel, 1/2 of my eggs, 1/2 a pancake, and 1 spicy sausage. I peddled the rest of my sausages to Han Job. We went to The Grove and went shoe shopping for Han Job. I got a doggy purse. It looks like a real dog! Assimoh was sporting my dog around Nordstroms. Buddy H was looking to see what he could get his girl. Then we watched Syriana, inspired true story of a former CIA agent, Robert Baer. I fucking loved this movie. Way fucking better than dumb fucking King Kong. I loved how George Clooney gained 30 pounds and spoke Arabic too. It was intellectually stimulating and the last time I had to use my brain was when I was taking my nursing board exam. Han Job jokingly said that he needed Cliff Notes for the movie. This movie just made me livid. Buddy H and I had an early dinner at Marmalade Cafe. While munching on my Marmalade's house salad and tomato basil soup, we talked about Syriana, corruption, and the United States' sticky fingers (the US is in everyone's god damn business). "Corruption. Corruption is our protection, corruption keeps us safe and warm, corruption is why we win." Mister called to see what I was up to. My original plan was to drive home, but seeing that I was exhausted and I wouldn't make my 1.5 hour drive, I went over to his crib to work on my fucking paper and get some rest. I was diligently working on my assignment while Mister and his roommate went to a bar and Silver Reign (strip club). When they got home, I was already fast asleep. Mister jumped my bones and woke me up. We went to the living room to talk and Mister went back to his room with a beer in his hand. When I walked into his room, he was sprawled out on his bed with beer spilled all over. I took the beer away from him and started making fun of him until I realized he was bleeding. The last person I saw bleeding (besides my mensuh), was when my Daddy died. I fucking kijuhl'd (freaked out). I got a towel and put pressure on his forehead, got a frozen bag of peas from his freezer, and put it on his face. I tried looking for clean sheets to change his bed with, but I couldn't find it, so I pushed him to his side and put a large towel underneath him. I went to lay down next to him and my whole body was shaking. I guess a part of me thought he was going to die. I hugged him and told him not to die. I don't know if he heard me or not. And then we porked some more. Monday Mister couldn't go to work for obvious reasons, so he called in sick. He looked like he was in a street fight with lacerations and a large contusion near his eye. I babied him until lunch time. We were finished porking and his jaj was still inside of me and a small but loud fart escaped my ass. He looked at me like..what the hell was that? I looked at him and poked him with my finger and said, "You did it." Then we both started cracking up. He was laughing at me because I was trying to blame him for it when we both fucking knew it was me. His roommate and I were fiending for Jaipur's lunch buffet and dragged Mister out of bed, even though he was throwing up (we're like a bulimic couple) and felt like shit. The buffet kinda sucked..but then again...it is a buffet. Dammit, we should have listened to Mister. I only had one plate and that was enough Indian food for me. My mom called me and bitched at me, wondering when my ass was coming home, and then she hung up on me. My stomach started feeling queasy, but I still had to do my fucking paper. Mister told me that he didn't have long term plans for staying in California. That comment just made me incredibly sad. Even though he has told me this in the past, I disregarded it without any feeling. But this time..it felt so real. As if he was leaving this week and never coming back. All I could do was hold him tight and cry. I told him that I understood, but it didn't mean that I wanted him to move. I asked him if his parents could move to California, since it's warmer and the cold can be fierce on aging parents. I tried all my persuasive tactics, but I could tell that his mind was already set. I told him that when he moved back home, that he would have to find someone that would take good care of him. Someone better than me... We were feeling depressed about the whole situation. For some reason, Alan Jackson's song, Remember When was playing in the background during this conversation. "Remember when old ones died and new were born And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged We came together, fell apart And broke each other's hearts Remember when" I let him go to sleep while I worked on my shitty ass paper. While working on it, my head started throbbing on the left side, as if I had a tumor that was metastasizing to the right side. I looked and felt like a fucking wreck. While taking breaks from working on the paper, I'd jump into bed, gently caress him, and give him water. When my brain came to a screeching halt, I passed my paper on to Buddy H for editing. I hugged Mister bye and drove home. And wouldn't you know it. The fucking 60 was backed the fuck up. I spent an hour in fucking traffic. Jaipur was not kind to my stomach, because I threw up a little bit while driving. When I got in the door my mom was screaming like a damn banshee about everything under the sun. I love how she brings up shit from 182379182371957 years ago. I closed the door to my room with Calamity and reviewed the changes made on my disaster of a paper. I e-mailed it to my prof with an hour to spare. I heard that a girl in my class had only 600 words and we were supposed to have 1050-1400 words. I text messaged Mister goodnight, I figured he was asleep by then. I fell asleep hugging Calamity tight. comments (9) Paper December 19, 2005 I am still working on my slut of a paper. It's due at 2359. I've got zero pages written but I have 10 pages of notes. I AM SO FUCKED. My weekend was even more fucked up. I'll write about that after I'm done with my shitty ass paper. SON OF A BITCH!!! comments (12) Dreary Dearest December 16, 2005 Currently listening to: Just A Lil Bit-50 Cent The weather is gloomy. Which is just as well. It matches my mood. I have one more bitch ass paper to write and I'm good till next year. I've gotten my grades from two of my classes. Thanks Buddy H, N Dawg, and Rich for letting me pick your brains. 99% and 97%. God, I'm a nerd. I can't stand myself. I started writing Christmas cards. I don't know when I'll be done though. I'm going to the LBC today. Buddy H, the transplant crew might call if there's something going down tonight. Time to get crunked. Thanks Im-Gi Soo for inviting me to your party in SD, but I'll be heading in the opposite direction this weekend. Mensuh is almost over. Thank God for small miracles. To the fuckers that are always trying to bring me down, I'd like to say, "Fuck you and you and you." I'm done with this bullshit. Peace out slizzos. All a nigga really needs is a lil bit not a lot baby girl just a lil bit.. we can head to the crib in a lil bit.. I can show you how I live in a lil bit, I wanna unbutton your pants just a lil bit, take 'em off pull em down just a lil bit, get to kissin' and touchin' a lil bit... get to lickin', a lil bit... comments (13) Ain't It Funny? #2 December 15, 2005 When I was in Dallass, I had a Russian patient. His parents were wealthy and sent him to the U.S. for school. He was 17 years old, got kicked out of school, and got shot in the neck by a gang member. He wasn't a gang member...more like a poser. He iced his whole hand and neck. He was a fucking smart ass too and hung out on the streets too much. He barely knew any English, except he knew all the words to JLo's, Ain't It Funny (remix). We'd sing it together and he'd sing the chorus part really loud. But that was a few years ago. He's probably dead now. This song's for you kid and for the playas (in the end, you'll get played too). Ain't it funny It's been awhile since you came around Now ya wanna see what's goin' down Tryin' to tell me how ya want my time Tryin' to tell me how I'm on your mind See it never had to be this way You should of never played the games you played Now I'm seein' that you're kinda lame Knowin how the situation change I remember how you walked away Even when I tried to call your name See at first I didn't understand Now you're lookin' like a lonely man I remember how you did me wrong And now you're hurtin' cause my love is gone Everybody gets a chance to burn You can take it as a lesson learned I really wish you wouldn't send me gifts Tryin' to make me sit and reminisce Tryin' to blind me with your blingin' bling Thought I told you love don't cost a thing Hope you realize that now I'm through And I don't ever wanna hear from you I had enough of bein' there for you Now I'm laughin' while you play the fool Baby, I got my boyfriend Is that your girlfriend But maybe we can be friends La da da da da da comments (10) Schedules #1 December 15, 2005 Have I finished my homework? No. HAHAHAHAHA. No worries, I'll be done. Gonna go see King Kong. King Kong was just alright. The parts that didn't have King Kong sucked. The CGI was good...............but most of the movie dragged on. And wassup with the fucking dinosaurs and shit? Whatever, anyways, Naomi Watts kept the movie from blowing chunks. I almost got misty eyed towards the end. *sniff* I give it a C+. comments (10) Schedules December 14, 2005 I've got full blown mensuh today. The flow is at its heaviest right now. My cat followed me into the bathroom and when I pulled down my pants, she was trying to get the fuck out of there. Yeah...it's like that. My schedule is starting to resemble a geriatric patient's. Wake up at 0500, usually due to some absurd dream that I have. Brush my teeth and wash my face. Eat breakfast. Act like I'm doing my homework until about 1130. Go to the gym to get my fat ass on the treadmill while watching All My Children/One Life To Live/General Hospital. Eat lunch. Multi task: homework, reading people's blogs, write in forums, shopping online, and chat with my friends. Drink a shit load of hyun mi nok cha (brown rice green tea). Watch tv. Fall asleep between 2000-2200. That's a sorry ass schedule, but this weekend...I'm going to a hotel party. It's gonna be awesome...hopefully mensuh will be better or even done by then. Party on Wayne. Party on Garth. comments (10) Justified December 13, 2005 I woke up, went downstairs for tea, and my mom said, "Tookie nyuh suk, jooguhtsuh (That Tookie fellow died)." I replied, "Good. He deserves to rot." Apparently the officials had trouble finding a vein to inject the deathstar juice into. Dumbasses. They should have hired me. I'm really good at venipunctures/IV's. Anyways, back to Tookie... I'm glad that shitty Schwarzeneggar denied him clemency. Sure Tookie's made kiddy books on anti-gangs and was nominated for a nobel peace prize, but he killed 4 people. His stupid book couldn't even save his son, Stanley "Little Tookie" Williams junior, who was in the same prison as his father for murdering a young woman. Tax payers have been supporting him since 1979. He's had a direct appeal to the California Supreme Court and filed five state habeas corpus petitions. Enough is enough already. We know he's guilty yet he continues to say he is innocent. Give it up. Without taking responsibility, there is no redemption or atonement. There should be no mercy. His own accomplices testified against him, ballistics evidence proved that the casings from his shot gun were the same as those found in the hotel murders, a jailhouse informant also testified that Tookie confessed to the murders and conspired with the informant to escape from jail by blowing up a jail transportation bus and killing the deputies guarding the bus. However, this plan was not executed. Excerpts from the Williams Clemency Statement Later that morning, Williams recounted shooting Albert Owens, saying "You should have heard the way he sounded when I shot him." Williams then made a growling noise and laughed for five to six minutes. On March 11, 1979, less than two weeks later, Williams, again armed with his shotgun, robbed a Taiwanese family-operated motel and shot and killed three members of the family: (1) the father, Yen-I Yang, who was shot once in the torso and once in the arm while he was laying on a sofa; (2) the mother, Tsai-Shai Lin, who was shot once in the abdomen and once in the back; and (3) the daughter, Yee-Chen Lin, who was shot once in her face. For these murders, Williams made away with approximately $100 in cash. Williams also told others about the details of these murders and referred to the victims as "Buddha-Heads." Excerpts from the LA County District Attorney's Response To Stanley Williams' Petition For Executive Clemency Robert Yang called 911. As they entered, they saw Yen-I Yang lying on a sofa. He was "soaked with blood," "gasping for air, and making gurgling noises." Yee-Chen Lin was shot once in the upper left area at a distance of a few feet. Despite the truly horrific nature of the wound Stanley Williams inflicted upon her, Yee-Chen also clung to life. She was transported from the scene by paramedics to Centinela Hospital where she died at 7:36 a.m. On January 29, 1982, Williams attacked a guard by throwing a chemical substance on him. On February 16, 1984, a guard saw Williams bending over another inmate and striking him with his closed fists. In an effort to stop the attack, the guard blew his whistle and drew his weapon. Williams, however continued to fight. Only after a guard fired a warning shot, did Williams stop fighting. On December 24, 1991, Williams was involved in another fight with an inmate. Once again, despite being ordered to stop, Williams continued with the assault. Eventually, gun officers responded by firing a round near Wiliams. After the shot was fired, guards gained control over Williams. Moreover, Williams remains loyal to the gang member street code of ethics. He has refused, despite his hollow claims of atonement, to be debriefed by prison authorities. Such a debriefing could provide the prison authorities with important information to aid them in establishing institutional security. It would also provide tremendous insight into how the gang members operate within the prison walls and how they are able to continue their criminal activities on our streets while locked up behind those walls. Lastly, it would show that Williams has finally renounced his criminal life, and in some small way, has begun to accept responsibility for his actions. I'm sure the inmates at San Quentin are shitting in their pants. Especially fuckerface, Scott Peterson. I can't believe people have to spend their tax money supporting asswipes like this, when we don't have money for the poor and elderly. Fucking where's the justice? Please feel free to discuss. Thanks. comments (14) Sunday Thru Monday December 12, 2005 So...we porked a couple of times (woulda done more, but I had business down under and my cramps were KILLING me) and watched a lot of football. I watched so much that by the end of the night I was confused as to who played who. I don't understand much of it, but at least I'm trying....kinda. All I know is that Marty Schottenheimer (San Diego's coach) is scary. He pulled a classic Corean drama move by grabbing another coach's arm and screaming, "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" and cussing like a crazy man. I'm waiting for him to either have a heart attack or an aneurysm. Mister is heavily involved with his fantasy football...there was a moment when I wondered if I should let him and Marty have a moment together...alone. And of course, I was laughing when he was screaming, "Gates, baby!! Gates!!!" I don't know why I thought it was funny. I guess I just like seeing him get so excited over something. I hope he wins his fantasy football thingamajigger. Go Vikings~ I went to get the rest of my magic pills for the next few months. I was at the clinic by 1045..I left the clinic at 1430. That made me angry. At least there was no traffic. comments (8) Cheering Me Up December 11, 2005 Charlos has joined Minnow in cheering me up. Thanks Charlos, mi mijo, for the love. If you'd like to join this crusade, e-mail your pictures at rosieyatch@gmail.com. Grassy ass. comments (12) Dreaming Again Part II December 10, 2005 For those of you who don't know...I've got this unhealthy obsession with Britney Spears. I don't even know why I like her. How old am I? Fucking 12? The latest on Britney and Kevin Federline: Britney kicked Kevin out of their malibu mansion, but now he's back. She cancelled his credit cards, fired his bouncers, went to a divorce lawyer, and sent his 200k Ferrari back to the dealer. Now, there's a website out called DivorceKevin. It even has his ID card from middle school. He's got a mullet...but what did you expect? Oh yeah, I signed the K-Fed up petition too. Anyways I had a dream about her and her rapper wannabee husband, K Faggotfizzle, whom I will refer to as K-fag. I was at some celebrity party and Britney showed up with K-fag. I got flustered and started jumping up and down like a fucking retard. Britney came over to me and we started talking. I asked her if I could take her picture with my phonecam and she said, "Sure, that'd be cool". Britney and I had our arms around each other, while K-fag was in the back trying to give me bunny ears. The person taking the picture said, "One, two, what the heck? I think there's something wrong with your phone." I started spazzing.. And then Mister drunk dialed me. Fuck...enough of this Britney nonsense already. comments (15) Guest Blogger #12 Part I December 10, 2005 If you'd like to be a guest blogger for me, just e-mail me your entry at rosieyatch@gmail.com. Thanks. Any views expressed on guest blog entries DO NOT represent or reflect my opinions or views. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- you fucking asians crack me up. and before you get all "you're-a-racialist-stfu" on me, i'm asian too -- japanese, to be specific -- but more importantly, i'm also a bartender. and every time i see one of you punks (and i'm referring to the guys here) walk into my fine establishment, you're always embarassing yourself (and by proxy, me as well because pasty ass white folks think we all fucking know each other and are related even though i don't speak your chingchong language) with the drinks you order. i'm going to lay down some seriously-needed ground rules for you guys in the bar/club setting so that you will cease and desist all your actions that make me want to punch you in the throat (and fuck your girlfriend because you're probably doing a shit job at that too). FOUR SIMPLE RULES: ONE -- and there is a reason why this is number one because this is the biggest fucking crime a lot of you asian guys commit. NEVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE, IS IT EVER OKAY TO ORDER A COOLER FOR YOURSELF. i don't give a shit if your buddies drink it. they're all fucking fairies anyway. smirnoff ice is NOT for you. it is for GIRLS. it doesn't matter that it is STRONGER in alcohol content than the average beer. it has sugar in it only because your candyapple virgin girlfriend can enjoy it. let's face it, alcohol tastes like ass. however, if you have a penis, you are expected to tolerate the shit taste of beer because that is what your penis is for: BEER TOLERANCE. TWO -- related to the first rule, when it comes to cocktails, you are never allowed to order anything other than a ONE-MIXER. "what does one-mixer mean?" you ask. well, it should be plainly obvious, but a one-mixer is a screwdriver (vodka & orange), or a rye & ginger, or a rum & coke. one spirit and one mixer -- get it? NEVER CAN YOU ORDER A SEX ON THE BEACH or a TEQUILA SUNRISE or whatever you have been ordering lately. even a vodka & cran is pretty iffy because that shit looks pink in certain lighting, but it's acceptable and i won't hate you for it (but i might laugh). THREE -- when you do get your one-mixer, ALWAYS REMOVE THE FRUIT (or if you LIKE the fruit, god knows why, put it in the drink), but NEVER EVER USE THE STRAW. the straw is meant for girls. there are serious phallic undertones when a guy is sucking on an itty-bitty straw. i don't need to spell that shit out for you. i know, the ice is cold, the straw helps. whatever. shut the fuck up. the trick is simple -- hold the glass with your THUMB and MIDDLE FINGER. use your INDEX (first) finger as a DAM blocking the ice from entering the mouth when drinking. SIMPLE. and you don't look like a fucking pussy. FOUR -- in more high-scale establishments, the ones where you generally take your high-maintenance first date (who happens to be korean and drives her mom's jaguar on the weekends), you will generally be offered a GLASS with whatever bottled beverage you have ordered. ALWAYS REFUSE THIS GLASS. drink the beer (or most likely, cooler) from the bottle, at least. the glass is meant only as a courtesy to guys, and as a convenience to girls. SOME TIPS: okay, so now you're saying "gee alix, i have been such an assfucking homo, but now you've shown me the light, but these rules don't really mean anything do they? they just seem to make it harder for guys to get drunk!" and you are right, grasshopper. these rules make absolutely no sense, but that's just the way society has decided things should be in the clubs, and you can't fight such deeply ingrained social conditioning. however, there are some things that you can do that might help ease things: ONE -- if you really hate the taste of beer -- hate it to the point where you gag after a sip (and there are some of you like this), ask your bartender for a shot of lime cordial. pour it into your beer. it adds a lime kick to it, takes off a lot of the bitterness, and smoothes out the taste. the best part: nobody will know any better. and stick to LAGERS, especially AMERICAN LAGERS because they are lightest, most flavourless beers in the world. stay away from ALES, STOUTS, and MEADS. oh, and by the way, CIDER BEERS (magners, strongbow, etc) are NOT OKAY either. THEY ARE ALSO FOR GIRLS. TWO -- shots. do shots. lots of shots. they are quick, and get you plastered much faster, and don't fill you up the way beer does. the other added benefit is that you'll need to piss a lot less often. however, if you can't do shots, you can pussy your way out by doing SHOOTERS. however, shooters have have their rules too: never do a shooter that's obviously made for girls. for example: orgasms (peppermint & irish creme) or any shooter with grenadine in it. in fact, you should stay away from any type of drink that has red or pink in it because it is NOT MADE FOR YOU. THREE -- if you have a beer in hand, and you know that you will not be able to finish it, just pretend to drop it. and when someone tells you to get another one or offers to buy you another one, tell them you're already smashed and that's why you dropped the beer. this is the stupidest fucking thing to do because wasting alcohol makes you a worthless piece of shit, but consider it a last resort. MISCELLANEOUS OTHER RULES FOR MAINTAINING YOUR MANHOOD: ONE -- it is never okay for you to order a banana split or an ice cream sundae unless you're with a girlfriend. when that happens, it should always be in front of HER. and you are only TRYING it. TWO -- in public, you are NOT ALLOWED to lick an ice cream cone. you take bites. i don't care how small the bites are, but they MUST BE BITES. THREE -- you know those juice boxes your mom packed you for lunch? yeah, you can't drink those in public either. FOUR -- WHEN YOU ORDER WATER, leave your bartender a fucking tip at least once. it doesn't have to be a big tip. it can be something simple, like a quarter (minimum: a quarter). it's a token of appreciation. it means you're not a douchebag. you water-drinking fuckheads are always asking for more water, and we don't get paid to pour you glasses of water, so show your love for god's sake. i hope this helps. Written by: Alix aka Porkchop comments (15) Selfless Sisters December 9, 2005 They just don't make them like this anymore.. Leprosy patients and residents of Sorok Island are saying mass at the Catholic Church and clinic there for 10 days to give thanks for the services rendered them by two Austrian nuns who returned home on Nov. 21. Sisters Marianne Stoeger (71) and Margareta Pissarek (70) quietly slipped away at dawn. In a letter addressed to their "Dear friends and benefactors," they said, "We are old and can no longer work properly. The time has come for us to leave before we become a burden. As humble foreigners, we enjoyed great love here." The two graduates of a nursing school in Austria came to Sorok Island in 1962 and 1966 after learning from their convent that Sorok Island Hospital needed nurses. Every morning, they tended to patients in a room bearing a plate that read "Marianne & Margareta." Despite the leprosy patients' condition, they rubbed ointment into their sores with their bare hands, insisting that medicine must be applied carefully. In the afternoon, they visited villages with porridge and cakes they cooked and baked. Villagers called the two, who learned to speak the Jeolla dialect and write Hangul, "Grandma." Having come to Korea in their 20s, they left in their 70s after a lifetime of service to thousands of patients. They believed that true giving is to give unnoticed by anyone except God. They declined many offers of awards and requests for interviews, and gave anyone who approached them about one or the other a hard time. Decorations from the Austrian government could only be delivered to them a decade ago by the Austrian ambassador in Seoul when he visited Sorok Island. When the hospital asked to hold 60th birthday parties for them, they declined saying they were busy going to church. The two sisters knew only giving; they did not know taking. The hospital had an uphill struggle persuading them to accept even the monthly food allowance of W100,000 (US$100) long-time workers are entitled to, and they only accepted when the hospital told them a refusal would disqualify them as long-time workers. But then they used that allowance and the living allowance sent by their convent to buy milk and snacks for their patients and gifts for patients who had recovered. When they went home, it is said, they took nothing with them but the shabby bags they brought with them when they first arrived on the island. Their devotion and sacrifice over nearly half a century for suffering people on Sorok Island is a beautiful and sacred act. The saying goes that practicing brotherly love takes more courage than anything else, and the two sisters� courage was greater than anyone�s. comments (11) Shutting Down December 6, 2005 Current time: 0228 Current mood: Melancholy Currently listening to: Human-Pretenders I was going to post something else today, but now I don't feel like it. In fact, I don't feel like writing for a very long time. Today will be the last time that I cry this year. Happy holidays.... comments (14) Sickly 2.0 December 5, 2005 Currently listening to:I'm Sprung (female answer)-T-Pain feat. Stat Quo I am sick. *coughs and sneezes on everyone without covering my mouth* I fell asleep last night shortly after taking some Nyquil. I woke up shivering even though I had a lot of blankets. The good thing about sleeping with Mister is that he's always warm so I can wrap my cold body around his and sexually violate him. Anyways, I feel like a fucking 18 wheeler ran me over. Christopher Duncan, 21, decided to reenact the music video "Stan" by Eminem. Duncan beat the shit out of Jagdip Najran, 26, while on E and LSD and shoved her into a suitcase. Thanks Lin for the postcard. It's pretty :) Thanks N-Dawg for the BR hookup. My associate, SPY, showed me a link. It had pictures of my cousin and his retarded rabbit looking wife at a bar. My God. I've never seen her sober...and after seeing those pictures, I feel like I need a drink. A lot of them. I think I'm done updating My Obnoxious Christmas Wish List. Thanks to whoever started buying me presents. I have a good idea as to who it is. comments (6) In Less Than 48 Hours 1.0 December 3-5, 2005 0130-0500: I had 3 people drunk dialing me. Yes, drunk people LOVE calling me and giving me their latest updates. 0900: Picked up Mister from his friend's. 1000-1800: PORKFEST 2005. During this time we hit it 3 times, took a nap, watched the Bruins get spanked by their Trojan daddy. That game was pathetic. I don't even know why I made that stupid bet with Mister. It's not like UCLA was really going to win.....stupid Bruins. I guess the fucking Longhornies will Meat the Trojan Condoms at the Rojiboji Bowl. I'm starting to like football. This is scary. 1800-2000: Law & Order: Criminal Intent 2 hour special. That shit was so scandalous. I loved it. DUN DUN... 2030: Went to eat Indian food with Mister and his roommate. We had an offensive amount of food and a bottle of merlot. The bill was obscene, but it was damn tasty. 2200-0030: Fuck, I was getting buzzed off a glass of wine. So gay. I drunk dialed N-Dawg too. Lucky for me, he tolerates my belligerent ass. And while I'm talking to N-Dawg, Mister's trying to grab my tits. 0030-0645: We all drank some more. I had my Malibu and orange juice, they had their Maker's Mark and beer. I assed out in Mister's bed until he started fondling me. When we were done sexing, I left an awesome wet spot on his side of the bed. Its diameter was approximately 5.5 inches. bWe threw a towel over it and fell asleep. 0700-1330: Got ready to go to the swap meet. Yeah! Someone thought it was a good idea to block the 10 and 110 exit. Fucking geniuses, I swear. So, I had to circle around and find a new route. Bastards. The swap meet was like a big overpriced garage sale. I was tempted to get the $20 vintage Gucci bag, but I didn't. Roey and I got matching plants. Lisa...she got a lot of stuff..I forgot what she got though. Roey, I really think we should pitch up a tent and set shop. I've got a bunch of shit that I could get rid of. 1430 ish: We ate at Nakwon. Bulgogi, kalbi, and geun mandoo. 1600: Fell asleep in my car, at the parking lot of Hannam chain. When I woke up, I was freezing cold....I felt like a homeless person. 1645: Went inside and bought some groceries for my mom. 1730: Drove home. J Cuz informed me about the VIKINGS' latest win. FUCK YEAH. 1930: Had a meaningful conversation with Roey. Me: i just burped right now and i can taste the bulgogi all over again..yum Roey: ME TOO, fuck zoe is tasting it too whenever i burp she looks up at me and sniffs Me: too bad ur not here...we could blow the bulgogi breath on each other Roey: dude you're getting me wet Me: i'm already moist just thinking about it Roey: i gotta go and change my underwear comments (6) T & A December 2, 2005 Currently listening to: My Love Is Like...Wo-Mya So the nipple (track point) on my laptop is wearing away. I've been pressing on that sucker for about a year and now it'll barely move. I went to Best Buy to see if they had nipples for sale, but those useless bastards were trying to swindle me into buying a mouse. Fuck that shit. Good thing Batman has a couple of extra ones he can mail out to me. I lost the last ass picture that Minnow sent me awhile back. In an effort to make me feel better, Minnow, wrote my name on her ass and took a picture of it. Thanks girl. *sniff* I feel the love. *bites your ass* comments (20) Awww Hell Nah, Dawg! Parte Tres December 1, 2005 I opened my e-mail and found this. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS? I'M NOT EVEN PEDDLING ANYTHING. Hello, I would like to make enquiry about an international order cause i will like to order some of your products into our store in lagos state, nigeria. So we wouldlike you to mail us back if you will be able to shipto nigeria, we would pay you with international credit card respectively. So i will like to read back from you providing your website as soon as possible. Regards. Janet. comments (16) Fuck December Parte Dos December 1, 2005 Currently listening to: Hit Em Up-Tupac It's fucking December already. Fucking shit. This fucked up sleeping schedule is fucking with me. I've made some progress on my bastard child of a paper. I'm going to try to wrap this fucker up today. Fuck...it's 0602...just kill me now and put me out of my misery. I'll be glad when this nightmare of a week is over with....if I'm lucky, maybe Mister will pork me into next week. comments (16) Compilation of D & I Parte Uno December 1, 2005 Btw, slizzo/slizz=slut. And I added -izzle after people's names...because I can. About Being Punked D: im done talking to her, she trips on me says she cant trust me she calls me every nite, and if i dont pick up she thinks im out fucking other girls Me: aren't you? D: no comment Me: don't talk to me D: omg wtf Me: i've had it d, we're through, we're no longer friends.....phuahuahuahua is that what she said to u? D: ur making me sad..ur seriously gonna stop talking to me? Me: oh god i was joking D: oh jeez i felt sick, i got really hot Me: i was tryin 2 act like your slizz D: dammit Me: geezus D: u punked me hard fuck, my forehead got super hot Me: i'm sure it wouldn't affect u anyways D: i was gettin sad Me: if we stopped talking D: actually i hate that we never talk on the phone anymore, u disposed of me About Why We're Friends D: i think u hate my guts sum times, I really do Me: sometimes...i admit you disgust me D: i know just cause of the seizzles shit Me: other times i just wanna throw my hands up in the air and ask myself why i even bother being friends with you, but i know deep down inside, there's a nice guy D: im one of the sweetest guys u will ever know, u know im a softie under this shell Me: you're hypersensitive!! good god i say one little thing D: i pms Me: and u fly off the handle Me: i don't see any blood clots comin outta ur piss hole About the Missing Corean Girls D: when i find a girl ill stop until then, fuck where are my corean bitches at Me: they all ran away from u :P D: well not really i used them made them buy me shit Me: heh D: and then i stopped answering the phone calls...ok enuff i need to settle down, its the holidays D: god i dont miss the days where she would just show up at our house Me: waitin for the prime time to jump u D: she would just show up im like wtf u crazy ass Me: i thought all the girls just "showed up" About Being A Slizzo D: i had girls knockin on the door while i had 1 in bed Me: uh huh D: i said they were mexicans Me: cuz ur a slizzo D: selling magazines, i was like omg dont call my name out loud or im fucked...i was stressing hard that happened like 3 times Me: and u get offended when pple call u a player?? D: dont make me hate u About Not Calling Back D: u dont answer my phone calls anymore, so fuck Me: it's called tough love, stop hangin with the lizzles D: i hate u About Sizzle's Brother D: last nite we talked about sizzle's brother Me: uh huh D: how u said he was hot! Me: rofl he was, but the last time i saw him was in jr high D: yah Me: he was the only reason why i went to church so i could see his foyne ass D: Ahahha slut! Me: Dood he was the best thing that happened to our state D: i hate u Me: What?? he was hot!!!! i was tellin dizzle about how i thought her bro was hot and u know what dizzle told me? Me: that he's engaged or something...but just cause there's a goalie don't mean you can't score About Not Being A Retarded Hooker D: we need to talk more Me: :P D: since its the holidays ahhahah Me: ur so gay lol D: fuk u love it Me: do girls fall for this shit D: bye Me: lol cause i'm not D: wtf bye Me: u think i'm some kinda retarded hooker, i ain't no RH! About Phuc Dat Bich D: U LOVE ME DAMMIT Me: fuck dat D: YES U DO Me: phuc dat bich D: IM NOT VIET I CANT READ THAT SHIT About Secret Santas D: lets do secret santa with each other Me: how is it a secret santa if i know it's u? dork About Loving to Hate D: i love u Me: i know u do, everyone does D: i hate u really Me: i know u do, everyone does About Being Too Old D: im a very sweet person, i could be the best bf Me: u could but u choose not to be D: i know, i really wanna marry a korean Me: like i said ur gonna have to stop fuckin seizzles Me: u tell corean girls u porked seizzles most girls get disgusted, no matter how cute u are D: Yah i understand things just take time Me: don't wait too long the older u get, coreans don't want too old of a guy D: rosie!!!!!!!!! well what can i do?? Me: ur gonna have to set yourself straight fast otherwise u really will end up with some fugly ass corean bitch D: i understand im too old for this shit i really am comments (16)