eunikami

the wearing of sharing

lately, i’ve been caught up in many activities that involve sharing. not as in cookies, candy or cake, but as in your feelings. the first time i did this was at witch doctor school where we started out with sharing, qi gong exercises and a native american story.

the sharing bit was always the most difficult for me, as everyone was always so happy and gleeful, telling the class how they were so grateful to be here. barf-o-rama. i was the only angry, resentful one who couldn’t figure out why everyone was so happy all the time. there was one woman who really intimidated when it came to sharing orations. she would pause, breathe deeply and gaze out at the class before saying each and everytime: 'this is the best day of my life” and usually burst into tears. how every tuesday was the best day of her life was beyond me. when it came to me, every week i’d say the same thing: “ my name is eunkami. i’m looking forward to class tonite.”

i dropped out of that crazy school a few months ago (right after i found out that i could speak to angels) and now i’m in a more legitimate, practical school. i thought i was finished with the sharing stuff.

but i was wrong. during the orientation of the new school there were about 80 of us seated in a lecture hall. i knew one person, my friend from the other witch doctor school. as i sat wondering what was next, a school administrator announced that we would begin with introductions, which would entail everyone going around the room and sharing why would they were here.

omigod. sharing again?

so around the room we went. i kept creating smart vignettes in my head of what i planned to say.
“hello, my name is eunikami. i live in LA. i like to read novels and want to contribute to the world." or "hi! my name is eunikami. i have a dark side that i hope never emerges while i'm here. you guys are all fashion victims." or "hello, my name is eunikami. i am a semi vegan who loves to snack. my favorite food right now is grilled artichoke dip and scallion and chive hummus with multigrain pita chips."

everyone was giving long-winded monologues about how they were grateful they found this school nestled in santa barbara. how they had studied carl jung for years, how they were going through difficult transitions. this was turning out to be more like a monologue, and i was getting nervous. as we heard people tell their lifestory, i decided i would give lots of background about myself and tell people that i used to work in the media, got ill, decided i wanted to help people live a rich and rewarding life. oh, and that i loved to eat snacks.

it was my turn. i looked around at the people staring at me. they all stared at me. i paused before clamming up and giving my intro: "my name is eunikami. i’m looking forward to this year.”

i felt humiliated but i thought that was the end of the sharing forever. one of the teachers even remembered my brief intro as he called roll in class that day. "yes, i remember you. you were very short."

but i hadn't seen the end to sharing. at the end of the weekend, we had to participate in a closing ceremony. we sat in a giant circle. a crystal was passed around and we were to feel the energy from the crystal and share what we got from the past few days of school.

“this is just what i was looking for. my prayers have been answered,” said one student brushing away tears.

“i am sad that i’m leaving. i wish we were here for a whole month.”

"this has been one of the most profound experiences in my life."

then it was my turn. i looked around, hoping to say something noble yet eloquent. deep but wise. this was my chance to make up for a dull introduction with something that twinkled.

“have a nice month.”

batting to the left

my parents are split when it comes to politics. we rarely discussed it when growing up because my father was republican and my mother a raving liberal. i’ve never been that passionate about politics. in 6th grade, i proclaimed myself a republican becausei thought the elephant was more cute and exotic than the donkey.

my interest in politics shifted thanks to howard stern. yes, the king of crass. i had never listened to him until one day he was talking about how corrupt the fcc was. the fcc was slapping him for fines for the same stuff he had said years ago but now the fcc was tight with the bush administration (michael powell) and they were upset with howard stern's bush bashing. that was the first thing that piqued my interest. the second thing that intrigued me was the fact that he claimed to having a small penis. it didn’t help that barriga boy said he couldn’t date someone who was a republican.

i have refrained from writing anything controversial about the bush administration for fear of the government tracking me down and taking me down. so if i get audited this year, i know why. ( though my salary would cost as much as an audit)

my goal in the next few weeks is to get my father to vote for kerry since he lives in a crucial swing state: minnesota. he’s been a lifelong republican though i think he values the idea of being a conservative instead of a liberal. but at this stage of his life, i think it would be too upsetting for him to switch parties. my friend renee ( she looks like the korean version of renee zellweger) is having the same problem with her parents. she says that her parents are staunch democrats but this time round they are voting for bush. (i would normally add a rude adjective before and after his name, but like i said, i fear the feds.)

renee said that her parents listened to all the debates. and they liked butthead, oops, i mean bush because he went to church ( they are bible thumpers) and he seemed stronger on terror.

she tried to brainwash them and usually she is successful. her parents are snobs and 1st generation Koreans who reside in the local korean community, so she tried to twist their thinking: “only educated people vote for kerry.

“no, we voting bush,” her mother said.

then renee thought about a person in their community that they admired who was voting for john kerry and called them again: “you know, dr. kim is voting for kerry.”
her mother paused for a extra second and said: “we voting bush.”

i called renee to get some tips on how to persuade my father, the ultra conservative, to switch teams. he attends church every sunday. he drinks manhattans straight up. he doesn’t understand why anybody would be gay. and he hates clinton. he sounds like he would be bush’s best buddy.

one thing that i thought might help him vote for the dems were all the newspapers endorsements for for kerry. but then i remembered my dad only reads the local paper, which endorsed bush. then i thought about telling him that kerry loves golf, as my father does. but of course, it’s prez bush we always see on the golf course.

my father is a closet wwf wrestling fan. he watches every night when my mother goes to teach yoga, as my mother won’t allow him to watch it when she is home. i thought perhaps finding a photo of kerry engaged with wwf wrestling would prompt him to shift parties.

either that or maybe my father needs to listen to howard stern.