I'm Settling In...

Today's the first day that I actually have been applying to jobs in full force. I think both the sight of my dwindling bank account and the fact that I'm living in close quarters with my parents has given me a firm push.

I've grown tired of this pseudo retiree-life and am ready to start making some money...where am I focusing my aim right now? I'm really not as I'm taking a shotgun approach and blasting it high and low, far and wide across international boundaries; Korea, the US, Western Canada are all in my sights. I figure I'll just shoot at everything and sort out the bodies later.

As for my plans to head of to New Zealand. Unfortunately as I'm sure many could have predicted, the price of tickets at this time of year is so exorbitant it's left me grounded from flying...well at least off of this continent that is.

On Seeing the 100% Perfect Girl One Beautiful April Morning

I just read this love story online on the suggestion of a friend; it might be something that you've seen before. I know I have, but I think it had more meaning for me this time around. My eye's welled-up after reading it. -- it made me wonder if I've ever lef my 100% perfect girl slip by.

---

On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning
by Haruki Murakami

One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.

Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.

Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.

But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird.

"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone.

"Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?"

"Not really."

"Your favorite type, then?"

"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."

"Strange."

"Yeah. Strange."

"So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"

"Nah. Just passed her on the street."

She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning.

Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.

After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.

Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.

How can I approach her? What should I say?

"Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?"

Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman.

"Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?"

No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that?

Maybe the simple truth would do. "Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me."

No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.

We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had.

I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd.

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.

Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.

One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.

"This is amazing," he said. "I've been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you're the 100% perfect girl for me."

"And you," she said to him, "are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I'd pictured you in every detail. It's like a dream."

They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It's a miracle, a cosmic miracle.

As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one's dreams to come true so easily?

And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, "Let's test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?"

"Yes," she said, "that is exactly what we should do."

And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.

The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other's 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.

One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season's terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence's piggy bank.

They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.

Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.

One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:

She is the 100% perfect girl for me.

He is the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd.
Forever.

A sad story, don't you think?

Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her.

Bored in Toronto

I've been back home for a week now and as each day progresses my boredom grows like a snowball rolling down the hill. Oh, and as for snow there's plenty of it too. I've spent most of my time laying low -- reading books, talking with my parents, working out on a daily basis -- while on a few occasions have met up with friends to catch up. However, I couldn't say 'catching up' is the right word as it seems like time has stood still here in Toronto. So much to a point that I feel a little uneasy trying to jump right back into the fold as if nothing has actually changed over the last 1.5 years. I feel like I'm looking at my old world through a new pair of eyes; compared to the fast-moving, urban-sprawl of Seoul, Toronto {or simply insert home-town here} seems like a spleepy one-horse town.

I really haven't sent out too many resumes since I have gotten back, although I did go on one interview that turned out really well. However, I still feel a little empty. Perhaps it's the jet-lag or the numbing sound of the Korean dramas playing in the background that my parents are endlessly watching, but I think I'm in a bit of a motivational rut. I suppose this is just a natural part of the process of coming back home after having a great 1.5 year period away...

The question I dread the most hearing from people is, "Have you found a job yet?" My funny response is "Why yes...It's great, as the benefits include free burgers."

While my other response is simply, "Nah...I'm just chilling. And pondering over my many opportunities."

I have a couple of solid options right now...as friends have offered me positions. But, do I just want to jump right back into the fold? The same 9 to 5 rat-race that I escaped by going off to Korea? I don't think I want to just yet.

My brother and his fiance offered to fly me out to New Zealand to spend a few weeks with them while they vacation. I think I mentioned this before...at the time the stopping points for me were money and time...but, at this rate time seems like a general commodity that I shouldn't try to squander. I'm leaning towards taking up their offer and have to respond with in a day or so as they're on the go. I think I will go.

Early Retirement?

Well I've been back in my condo, well errr...I mean my parents' condo as they're living in it now, for a few days and feel like I'm living the life of a retiree. My parents are pretty much retired and so are half of the folk that live in my building situated on the picturesque lakefront of downtown Toronto. I question myself every day I wake up wondering if I've hit retirement already as my daily routine is about as dry of that of a retiree's.

8am - Wake up and eat breakfast with my parents
9am - Watch an hour or two of Korean drama -- I'm watching Hae Shin right now...51 hours of fun-filled historic actiono
11am - Check the Internet for email and send out some resumes
12am - Lunch with my parents
1pm - Hit the gym and try to politely put up with "how to work out / use the equipment lectures" given to me by waist-high trouser and dress-shirt wearing old folk
2pm - Running the odd errand -- fix the toilet and faucet (well watch the maintanence guy do it while talking to him), activate cell phone, take care of banking stuff
4pm - Watch another hour of Korean drama
5pm - Eat dinner with my parents
6pm - Internet
...blah

Other than some drinks with one friend, I've yet to go out and meet up with my other friends. I don't know what it is...perhaps the weather, but I haven't been in the mood to meet up with everyone else. Well the good thing is I'm meeting up with some friends this afternoon, and another friend of mine has organized a welcome back party tomorrow at a friend's bar. It'll be a fun old time.

Anyways, I'm getting a little stir-crazy and might just have to bust out of here and move out to another place. I've got nothing but options so I'm all good.

West Coast Living

I'm finally back in Toronto right now, and have been for a couple of days now, which has given me the chance to try to relax while uploading pics on to the web through my dial-up connection. " Dial-up? What's that?" If you're asking me that question, you probably don't come from around these parts or I'm about double your age. You see 'son', there was a point in time when people wanted to hook up to the Internet they had to plug their computers into these thing called analog modems. You knew the modem was working properly when it made these screeches of death that rang throughout your bedroom walls at the middle of the night. Well here I am again using the same old technology, yet the main difference being that I'm a few years older, hopefully wiser, yet still living with my parents.

'nuff about that...I just wanted to post a few gratiuitous pics of what I did out on the Westcoast. Unfortunately my camera only made it out with me to the rocky mountains of Bellingham, Washington when Geanoo and I made our trip out to Mt. Baker. We wondered if the rumours were true, and subsequently confirmed that they were. While Whistler/Blackcomb were basking in only 80cm of snow, Mt. Baker was swimming in the white stuff; a whopping 200+ cm of the white stuff to be exact. Just what does over 200cm of fresh powder look like? Don't you worry, uncle Jacob's got you covered.

Geanoo and I being the expert skier and snowboarder, that we are respectively, we decided to forgoe the lifts and hit the 'back country' side to Mt. Baker. We took a pick of the sign that we faced on the way up.

We along with our fellow boarders strapped on our gear and synched up our avalanche transceivers before making the trip out to hit the crevaces and cliffs that extreme skiers and snowboarders like to dilly-dally in. Ok, in all seriousness yeah right...I'm a decent snowboarded, but I only can wish that I was good enough to make it out to the back country.

Instead this is what Geanoo and I faced at good old Mt. Baker. We saw a lot of white that's for sure; that's not including only the 200cm of snow, but also including the sea of white people that surrounded us. Talk about culture shock!

Just in case you didn't know what that much snow looks like, especially this early into a ski/snowboard season I took this pic to make sure you knew. Actually later on in the day it started snowing so much that I had a hard time looking out my googles and knowing which way was up.

Oh before I forget, here are some pics on the way up there. To bad I didn't get to take a pic of Geanoo and I in his "look out white-folk, here comes two Asians" of a Acura RSX rice burner making our way up to the slopes. I guess all I have are the memories of the other drivers looking in shock slipping and sliding in their 4x4's and pick-up trucks, while Geanoo and I were gracefully making our way along the snowy slopes in rally-car style.

Another pic of the treacherous roads that separated us from our destination -- Mt. Baker.

Geanoo took a pic of me in my bad ass ski/snowboard outfit. You might be asking yourself, "Jake did you pack snowboarding equipment with you?"

The simple answer, "No."

I simply borrowed everything I could from an assortment of people:

• 1 Touque - borrowed from my friend Cathy's roommate Sophia
• 1 Pair of Goggles - borrowed from my friend Cathy who still had them in the original box after just 1 use; what a shame...so I decided to get her money's worth out of them
  
• 1 Pair of slightly small gloves - borrowed from Sophia. My hands are large so I was surprised too that I squeezed them into her gloves...when there's a will there's a way.
• 1 superfitted Fleece - I borrowed the fleece from Cathy. I've been running around with a few extra pounds from all the beer and going away food, which made the task of squeezing into her fleece an extra fat-filled challenged.
• 1 pair of form-fitted ski pants - I think these pants belonged to one of Geanoo's friends. In any case I'm sure the pants were remnants of this guys highschool days as these pants fit me so snug that I nearly ripped a hole in seat of them.
  
• 1 XXXXXL straight out of the 90's ski jacket - I believe this gem belonged to Geanoo's dad. Yes, back in the day when overly baggy items of clothing somehow actually looked cool this jacket would have been in fashion. Unfortunately for me beggars can't be choosers so I wore it. At the very least it kept me warm.
  

Geanoo kept laughing his head off at me...as there were two sets of jackets and pants to choose from. Seeing how he borrowed both sets from his friends, he had first dibs.

"Why the grouchy face Jake?"

Actually it I was actually surprised at how grouchy I looked in the photo. I think it was the fact that I had only 2.5 hours of sleep the night before combined with the fact that the goggles were a little too tight, hence pulling my eyes and eyebrows into that position.

Too bad I didn't get any shots of Geanoo and I rocking the jumps and digging through the shoulder deep powder. There's always a next time I guess.

So Long Seoul

T'was a Thursday night before I left Seoul when it all went down. I put together a little going away party after cycling through my hand-phone phone book a couple of rounds and texting everyone that's still in Seoul that I'd like to see one last time before heading out.

We did get things stirring and some thirty plus people cycled in throughout the night at one of the fine drinking establishments in Sinchon. A couple of platters of food, a few 10-litre mini kegs of beer, and a collision of my circle of friends made for an interesting night.

Ayako from Japan who I met in level 2 at Yonsei came out with my other Yonsei friends. She threw out the first "V" sign to get the party started, so let's keep a running tally.

Sum from Thailand who I befriended in my Level 1 class at Yonsei came out with my other Yonsei friends. Mike from Calgary, another Canadian gyopo, who you probably know came out with a friend too...considering he made a two hour haul all the way from the ghettos of Seoul, I give him mad props.

Total V-signs thrown = 2; I couldn't help, but throw in a V knowing this would be my last chance to throw out a V with out looking overly silly in public.

Mia, June, Fritz, and Ayoko came out to show me their support. Everyone, but Fritz who's from the States is from my Sogang level 6 class...Fritz was representing our glory days from the Summer of 2004 when there were many circles of friends that we hung out with at Yonsei; oh the fun we had.

Total V-signs thrown = 5, damn it's starting to get bad...

That's Calgary Mike and his friend, who's name I've since forgot...

Total V-signs thrown = 7 or is it 8... So while I'm throwing out the double-bows Mike's going for the Canadian equivalent of the V-sign...oh wait that's no V-sign, instead we've got Mike throwing out a modified 'schocker' from dem good old university days. Our running total is 7 V-signs.

Mike and I were having a double-chin contest. Actually it's all photographic tricks...considering the person who took the photo is shorter than us. Oh wait though...is this how we look to all people shorter than us? Mental note: Hit the gym..

Total V-signs thrown = still 7....put two Canadians together and you get no v-signs...

OK, Sum's making up for the lack of V-signs in the last shot...the new guy in the middle is a guy I met through Sum in the summer, but I'm bad with names so...I forgot his. He's a good guy, who's English is quite good especially considering he's never been out of Country.

Total V-signs thrown = 9

Mia and Ayoko were thinking there weren't enough people throwing up the V-sign so we made up for it with this shot; Total V-signs thrown = 13

A lot of my student club friends from Sogang came out. That was awesome! We've got Young-Mi (Maria) on the left who can speak both English and Korean fluently given all the places she's lived, Shim-Seuk who's a really friendly and outgoing guy, and Hyun-Ah who's actually my language-exchange partner...but, what's scary (for me) is that Hyun-Ah and I are of the same Chinese Zodiac...for those who are in the know, that's a 12-year difference of age. (argh!)

Total V-signs thrown = Still at 13...no action in this photo, surprisingly.

That's me sandwiched between the ladies... Suwon who started in level 1 at Yonsei with me, and the girl on the right is another student club friend (who's name I need to look up...I'm bad), the one thing I do remember is that she's Shim-Seuk's girlfriend.

Total V-signs thrown = still at 13...c'mon people work it harder...

A gratuitous shot with my Hasook jib halmoni (boarding house grandmother). Prior to the party starting, I went by my old digs to grab my bud Marty and also to say "Hi!" to my hasook jib halmoni. We had a pleasant conversation in which she told me to stay in Korea and not go back...lol...the convo was good, especially considering the fact that I can still remember the first conversation that I had with her in my broken and very awkward Korean when I first arrived.

This shot was not actually at the same party, but at a pre-going away party in Gangnam. I hooked up with both Mike from Calgary, and Sunni (who you may recall is my buddy Peter's cousin). It was a good old time...the girl to Sunni's left is her friend, who she studies German with -- However, since I'm useless at memorizing names, I won't even bother making an attempt. Beer + new people's names == a hard time the next day trying to match names to faces

A pic of Jeon-Hyeuk and I. Jeon-Hyeuk's a good guy who I met at Sum's birthday party in the summer time and we kept loosely in touch since. We share the same interests of watching goliaths like Bob Sap and Choi Hong-man beat each other to a pulp in bloody-arenas like the UFC; it's natural that we became instant friends.

Total V-signs thrown: OK, we're slipping...still at 13.

Here's the proud picture showcasing our 10-litre mini beer keg. This looks like a homegrown invention as the beer keg's white wooden supports look awfully familiar...like they belong on a baby's crib or something. That's genius as I look at beer sometimes with the same affection that I look at babies. Baby's crib vs. 10-litre mini beer keg support stand??? I think the correct choice was made in this case. Btw..what you can't see in this photo is the dual-spot system so you don't have to wait turns pouring. I think we made something like this in University...oh actually that was the beer funnel and the potato gun that my room-mates made. Anyways, brilliant idea non-the-less. I think when I'm back I'll head out to the nearest Canadian Tire and find the parts to make this wicked invention.

Oh, I almost forgot about the people. The touque wearing friend is Marty - he and I were housemates at the old hasook jib and he's also my partner in crime on occasion when we'd go hit up a bar or club, then there's Jason - I met Jason this last term...he's a good guy who was fortunate enough to inherit all of my tutees. ;)

Total V-signs thrown: still at 13...as we were too busy taking drinks from the keg

And a final shot with Mike's lady friend, June, and Brian - I know Brian from Yonsei as he was Sum's roommate when Sum and I were in level 1. He's a solid guy from the States.

update: Some how these pics from the archives didn't make it onto the post...I knew there were more V-signs being thrown up then the original tally.

I spy 3 new V-signs making the new running total of 16.

You may recognize the guy on my left from my graduation photos. His name's Young-Ki and he represents the Jae-il Gyopo populace, Korean-Japanese living in Japan. Young-Ki, Sum and I were all in the same level 1 class at Yonsei, so it was definitely good to see him out. I think he finished off somewhere at level 4 and is working various jobs to support the cause of studying the Korean language. Up until the day of the party I thought we were 'dong-gap' meaning of the same age, but he corrected me by saying that I'm actually 1 year older than him...argghh. He didn't have to do that. Btw, the lady in the pic his girlfriend.

Last photo pulled out from the archives. That's British Columbia Paul in the middle and his 'roommate' to his right. I'm not sure if they were really roommates either. As expected, my memory fails me...due to all the beer...and thus her name remains a mystery to me. Paul was in level 2 when I started in level 1 at Yonsei. I think at last count he stopped at either level 4 or 5, I'm not sure. In any case he did mention that he's taking Korean lessons somewhere else though. Good for him.

That's it for the missing pics, and as expected the Canadians only know how to hold beer mugs in the air during photos, or throw out the unexpected 'shocker'. That leaves us with a final tally of 16 V-Signs thrown. However, keep in mind those were only the ones caught by the camera. When the camera's not flashing, everyboy's running around in constant V-throwing position, so in all actually one-hundred thousand V's were thrown out...(bad joke, I know).

I wish everyone reading this blog could've come out and join the festivities. However, in lieu of that fact what you can do is simply scroll back to the first picture, sport a bottle of beer in one hand, and pretend you're there drinking and celebrating with us.

Cheers

Not Quite Home Yet

I landed in Vancouver the other day allowing me to write my first post back on home soil; although not quite home yet.

Last night was my first time out in Canada in quite a while...with my Vancouver friends at my side leading the charge of integrating me back into Canadian society I simply found myself making a lot of comparisons between Vancouver and Seoul. Surprisingly I simply found myself surrounded by an air of unfamiliarity. Aside from the fact that this is not my home town, I found myself surrounded by people who were acting all different and a little foreign too me. As I was introduced to friends of friends last night I found myself clinging to the comforts of Seoul. Although people are quite polite and friendly here, the people I met aren't as eager to meet new people. Something was missing...it was a lack of a vibe, that exciting vibe that used to fill the air.

The locals were no longer looking to befriend me in an attempt to meet foreign and 'interesting' people that can act as a friend and teacher of a foreign language or culture. Although the out-of-towners seemed interested in reaching out and making new friends, numbers weren't as freely exchanged as they were in Seoul. (cell numbers in Korea are typically exchanged like a part of your self introduction in Seoul). In any case, something strangely seemed a miss.

It's funny how my perspective of this city has changed over the last year and a half. I actually started my off my trip to Korea with a short stay over in Vancouver and of course doing the same on the way back. Once a city that I was longing to move to, this city although beautiful and picturesque, seems to be a little bland now; I think I'm going through reverse-culture shock...

Homeward Bound

Although I'm still in Korea I won't be here much longer. I've been chilling, hanging out and thinking about things over the past week (although it seems much much longer) and as a result I've come to the decision to head back home to Toronto. So I've booked and paid for a flight and will be heading back home this Friday. Along the way I'll be stopping off in Vancouver to hang out with a few friends for a few days, before safely landing on home-turf that being the T.dot (Toronto for those not in the know).

As for the blog...I suppose this is the prelude to the end. Although I originally put this blog together as a way to keep my friends and family back home and abroad up to date on my where abouts, I think I've also managed to entertain a few others along the way.

Thanks for reading or 감사합니다,
Jake (준강)