Ha! I'm finally

blogging! Well, I'm going to post a random list of updating type material. Here goes!

- Not feeling so hot today; left school so nauseous, I wanted to curl up in a ball and die. What, you may ask, is wrong with me? Just when I want to dismiss it all for the side effects of my anti-d's (I missed 1/2 dose last night - which usually does leave me light-headed and migraine-d), I have to remind myself that I missed Aunt Flo last month and I did not pass positive on the two pregnancy tests I took... sound ominous? sounds ovarian to me. Yes, I think my dermoid has recurred. (I had surgery last year to remove one of the hairy things.) My dr. appt is this Friday and I'll know more then. In the meantime, I can't get the words "cancer" or "infertility" out of my head.

- My Secret Santa (aka "Mother Winter") has forgotten me. I'm sad. It happened to me last year, too, when my evil administrator had pulled my name and instead of giving me my daily little gifts, she gave me a dumb Applebee's gift certificate. I hate Applebee's. Anyway, I'm in process of knitting the "big" gift for my "Mother Winter" person - Miss Kate. I'll post a picture of mine when I'm done.

- In anticipation of the winter festivities and perhaps impending ovarian cancer, I bought myself a new pair of knitting needles. Bamboo. Heh, why not?

- Assata went into heat this week, too. Even my dog can get her period...

- Work is going fine. The 6th graders have so much drama! Oy! But on days like today, when they were jumping out of their seats to participate in the lesson, I can't help but feel extremely lucky. Even my 10th graders are eagerly reading Pride and Prejudice and begging to watch installments of the A&E; version that I have. How impertinent!

- Private (independent) schools have their perks, definitely, and their minuses. Those being: "entitled" students (they all have I-pods and I don't) and being over-worked (because we're a newer school). Sometimes I even want there to be more administrators, because I'm asked to do too many "duties" - lunch duty, car duty, etc. Have I lost my mind? NOT having administrators is a GOOD thing! I don't have to submit lesson plans. I don't have to justify showing Star Trek II: Wrath of Khan to parallel Paradise Lost! I just do it! (I did read a lengthy comparative essay about it, in case you're wondering.) It's still a lot of work, but I'm loving it. The teaching part - maybe because this year, there's more of that. In the 6th grade classes, I want the students to write their names in heiroglyphics - but not just on paper, on shrinky-dink! Then we can turn it into a pendant or a pin. The 12th graders are about to watch Control Room and hand in their political cartoons on George Dubya. So, it's not all bad. Not at all.

- Now, if only I could get my life in order. Step one, stop googling dermoid. Step two, keep knitting. Step three, blog blog blog.

Tell Me Something I Don't Know

Thanks to Ms. A, one of my teacher friends, for the cool quiz.

You are a Social Liberal (61% permissive) and an... Economic Liberal (1% permissive) You are best described as a: Socialist Link: The Politics Test on OkCupid Free Online Dating Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

urban development

There's a new neighborhood in Atlanta. I think it just opened at the beginning of November. Only a mile or so from historic Midtown and its grand, old houses that saw the burning trail of Sherman's soldiers, the corporations have built their own neighborhood - Atlantic Station. It's full of cute, chic, urban, lofty, smart, eclectic, unique, and modern condos, aimed at a certain demographic, a certain type of up-and-coming young urban princess or prince. One billboard that I saw, which caused this blog post, summed up their demographic:

Fashion Lover + Tree Hugger

Their slogan is "Life Happens Here." One of their business supporters is the "Brand Atlanta Campaign" which is trying to promote the "brand" of Atlanta - the ATL.

With traffic, crazy SUV drivers, smog, dwindling greenspace, a Republican governor, and skinhead populated diners, Atlanta is looking less and less appealing. Or maybe it's just America.

bad blogger

Ugh. I can't believe it's been like a month since I blogged! I'm a bad blogger! I have a post coming soon, though, I promise. I've been busy planning lessons, grading papers, having painful crown procedures done, worrying about the ongoing car dilemma, and generally trying to live life. Details to follow!

Wallet Ache

I left school early today to go to the dentist. Not really the most desirable reason for getting off of work early, but a necessary one. Last weekend, I thought for a moment that I had a piece of popcorn stuck between my teeth, before I realized that the bumpy, cracked texture was my broken tooth. Argh.

From the time I walked in, I was in hell. After initially calling my new dental insurance and going through that "new doctor" search, I settled on a name. A woman's name. But when I got to the dentist, that doctor didn't work there anymore, and my appointment was in fact with a man.

I have a lot of anxiety when it comes to the dentist. This may explain why I haven't been in years. When I was little, I was always going to the dentist. My mouth was riddled with cavities. The trips to the dentist were endless, and completely preventable. My parents did try their best in raising me, at times, but they definitely made their mistakes. Toothbrushing and general tooth hygiene were not top priorities for them. My mother already had dentures by her mid-40s. She had grown up in relative third world conditions, wasn't aware of proper toothcare, and certainly didn't understand the amount of dangerous sugar her children ingested daily in America. As a result, my teeth were stained and eaten up by cavities. Going to the dentist raised these old shameful memories again. My wanting a female doctor stems partly from this, though in the end, it doesn't matter much. Choice matters, though, and perhaps feeling some control in the chaos matters.

The dentist came over, a young, handsome young man, perhaps even younger than me. He diagnosed my problem after having reviewed my new x-rays. Then he said someone would come over and talk to me about my insurance.

This isn't new to me. Medicine and money mingling, as thick as thieves, as intertwined as blood cells rich with oxygen. It was this calm, collected, insensitive, profit driven system that waited a year, while my tumor grew an additional half-inch in diameter, before I could have medically necessary, non-voluntary surgery.

The receptionist came over and delivered the verdict. My insurance would pay 80% of some fees and 60% of the others. I was looking at over $300 in cost by the end. I was shocked, put back in my place again by the weary march of the mighty dollar. But then again, what else can I do? Allow my tooth to decay and fall apart in my mouth until I am in so much pain I can't imagine what I would do? What do people do who have old fillings that fall out and don't have $300 to get them fixed?

I blame the dentists too for this co-mingling of patient care and insurance. But perhaps there are businessmen in charge of them, that really pull the strings and decide how to treat patients.

After all of that, I only got a temporary fix for my tooth. Nobody there seemed to understand or care what a hassle it was to miss work and what another hassle it would be to miss another day. I will go back next week, when school is out already for Yom Kippur, to have the crown put in, and the bill paid.