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chubbuni13 |
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Name: juan sheem!
Country: United States
State: California
Metro: San Gabriel Valley BIYAITCH DOMA
Birthday: 10/31/1999
Gender: Male
Interests: Like Roberto Duran I say, "no mas." And like Duk Koo Kim I say, "ughhhh" and die in the ring because my stubbornness and pride as a Korean won't allow me to see that I am up against an opponent too strong, too fast and most importantly... TOO SEXAYYYY!
Expertise: Pleasing women... by leaving them alone. Touching women... and having restraining orders filed. Loving women... and then waking up from my dreams.
Occupation: Military
Industry: Textiles
Email: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  greatvalbowski
Member Since:
9/27/2003
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SubscriptionsSites I Read
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You've got to build your house upon a rock...
You've got to build your house upon a solid spot...
Well the storms may come and go...
Bloo bloo blee blee bloo blee bloo blooooooo...
I forget the rest, something about knowing the love of Christ, shit like that... still, doesn't take anything away from the song, I'm sure.
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Don't build your house on the sandy land...
Don't build it too near the shore...
Well it might be kinda nice...
But you'll have to build it twice...
Oh, you'll have to build your house once more...
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My girlfriend punched me in the nose while we were sleeping the other night... *puzzled looks coming from audience wondering when the elaborate web of exaggeration and deceit will be unveiled* No, seriously... that's the end of the story.
I'm always telling her after recovering from her supposedly inadvertent shots to the nose, eyes and groin (repeatedly!) while rubbing affected area, "You're goddamned lucky you're cute, Molly". Makes me wanna break out my Korean slave fighting moves. GOONG-BOK HYUNG!!!!!
*EDIT* Wow, I found this page through hypermkiv's page, and I can say without any hesitation that this man is a fucking genius... With all the moneymaking schemes racking my brain, keeping me from sommeil de l'innocent, you would think that I would've come up with something like this. Sometimes you just gotta stand back and admire a man and his dream.
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Someone back me up here! When playing Cranium - that timeless board game suitable for all ages - and participating in the Cameo game, can't you describe who you are by relaying things to your partner in real world terms? For instance, the person I had to emulate was Harry Potter. Without using names or places, I said to Molly, "I say things like Abracadabra and I wear round glasses with a distinctive lightning bolt shaped scar on my forehead" to which she guessed with great certainty, "DAVID COPPERFIELD!"
David: Goddamn it! This really means it's over, doesn't it? *turning green* You don't wanna make me... angry!
After much laughter and hilarity at Molly's expense, I decided to take a more direct approach. To wit, "I am the principal character in a serial collection of children's books, all with my name in them, that have delighted millions of kids and adults around the world. In fact, I have starred in several movies based on my magical exploits." Of course Molly guesses correctly after that cogent summation, but the other team calls foul. Says I broke the rules... where do the rules say that I, as Harry Potter, can't have a comprehensive understanding of the real world in addition to the fictional realm which I occupy? Pish-posh!
J.K. ROWLING: No one bundles up cutesy descriptions of the occult to subvert the children of the world like I do! They're mine, you hear me? MINE!!!!
Goddamn kids... puberty is the Harry Potter franchises' greatest enemy. Although that Hermione's starting to look awfully cute nowadays. Esoterum sycophantus!
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You know that old adage: You gotta spend money to make money? Fucking true, man. however, the equation tends to fall apart when you don't have any money to begin with. Hence my Catch-22: Have the opportunity to make a good amount of money if I hook up with this marketing company, but they're asking for a hefty monthly fee for their services. Product and service are incredible, want to do it, know I can generate lots of bidness using them, but the ugly truth remains that I have no money to start with. Thinking now that the only way I can round up this loot is to whore myself out to 50 women at $100 a pop... or 5 fat ones @ $1000.
Guy: Baby, I gotta go... I gotta go, baby.
Girl: Why? Why do you have to go?
Guy: Because I gotta go to church!
Girl: *incredulous* Why, why do you have to go to church?
Guy: Because... I'm the priest!
Thus, once again, noble falsehood triumphs over the evil truth...
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