Saturday, July 31, 2004
My flight home is on Aug. 29. I am looking forward to it and have already forumlated a few plans of action.
But, I cannot kick the feeling that perhaps, maybe I shouldn't leave just yet. But, it has been a year and, as the name of this blog indicates, I really had no initial desire to stay longer than that.
But, I cannot kick the feeling that perhaps, maybe I shouldn't leave just yet. But, it has been a year and, as the name of this blog indicates, I really had no initial desire to stay longer than that.
Saturday, July 03, 2004
Is the grass greener on the other side? -- that is the question of the hour. A little more than a few months ago, I quit my job at The Korea Times and started working for Herald Media -- a company I thought more open and prepared to handle the changes the country is undergoing. The president of Herald Media is younger, a Korean who spent his high school and college years in the States and, most importantly, a Korean who speaks and writes in fluent English. (At The Korea Times, owned by the Hangook Ilbo, the president didn't speak a word of English and rarely made appearances in the newsroom, which, unfortunately, was probably a good thing).
Many things that annoyed me at The Korea Times exist at Herald Media -- certain people in management are completely incompetant, meaning they either don't speak English or have a tendency to take long naps at their desks, are completely scatterbrained and cannot organize themselves, much less a team of people.
However, there are many positive aspects to Herald Media that I wouldn't find at the Times. There are three foreign editors, with experience from Reuters and the Baltimore Sun. They are Westerners. This means they don't fall asleep at their desks (I find that in Korea, sleeping at one's desk is far more acceptable than it is in the West), are direct both with their language and intentions and, most importantly, can speak and write in fluent English. The Times has one foreign editor, but he is more like an angry 13-year-old who throws regular tantrums and has no real journalism experience.
I find that I have people I can communicate with at Herald Media, despite its flaws. The foreign editors are wise both in journalism and in how to handle management. They are typical journalists, which means they are a mixed bag of cynicism, humor and pragmatism.
As I said, I can communicate with them.
Does this make The Herald a greener patch? I suppose so.
More importantly, among my friends and acquaintances, my articles are read more. The Korea Herald is simply a better quality newspaper than The Korea Times. Most foreigners, as a result, read The Korea Herald, not The Korea Times.
Many things that annoyed me at The Korea Times exist at Herald Media -- certain people in management are completely incompetant, meaning they either don't speak English or have a tendency to take long naps at their desks, are completely scatterbrained and cannot organize themselves, much less a team of people.
However, there are many positive aspects to Herald Media that I wouldn't find at the Times. There are three foreign editors, with experience from Reuters and the Baltimore Sun. They are Westerners. This means they don't fall asleep at their desks (I find that in Korea, sleeping at one's desk is far more acceptable than it is in the West), are direct both with their language and intentions and, most importantly, can speak and write in fluent English. The Times has one foreign editor, but he is more like an angry 13-year-old who throws regular tantrums and has no real journalism experience.
I find that I have people I can communicate with at Herald Media, despite its flaws. The foreign editors are wise both in journalism and in how to handle management. They are typical journalists, which means they are a mixed bag of cynicism, humor and pragmatism.
As I said, I can communicate with them.
Does this make The Herald a greener patch? I suppose so.
More importantly, among my friends and acquaintances, my articles are read more. The Korea Herald is simply a better quality newspaper than The Korea Times. Most foreigners, as a result, read The Korea Herald, not The Korea Times.
Monday, May 17, 2004
About three months go by, and the interface has completely changed on blogger ...
In the last three months, I have moved over to the better English newspaper, The Korea Herald, my apartment has been broken into, I have found a new place near Hongik University and have contemplated moving to China and back to one of my three homes, New York, Chicago or the Twin Cities. I weigh the pros and cons of each move on a regular basis, but none of them inspires enough motivation to uproot me from my current job and home.
I haven't seen my birth family since February. The distance I have managed to put between me and my Korean family is a constant burden, one that I avoid and subdue by filling my schedule with small tasks and making them seem urgent by placing exclamation points next to them. For example, in my weekend errands section, I will write "go to bank and withdraw cash!!!! or write e-mail to Kelly!!!!! (which, I haven't done yet) or study Korean!!!!! or go to the grocery store!!!! ...as if my life depended on it ... like Kim Jong-il will cross the 49th parallel just to reprimand me for not withdrawing enough cash, which I will spend later that evening on food, alchol and tteokbokki (in that order).
I write this passage in a very ususually timed break in the afternoon in hopes that I can again start a regular regimen of writing on this blog ... (I really don;t like the new interface) that's all for now . ...
In the last three months, I have moved over to the better English newspaper, The Korea Herald, my apartment has been broken into, I have found a new place near Hongik University and have contemplated moving to China and back to one of my three homes, New York, Chicago or the Twin Cities. I weigh the pros and cons of each move on a regular basis, but none of them inspires enough motivation to uproot me from my current job and home.
I haven't seen my birth family since February. The distance I have managed to put between me and my Korean family is a constant burden, one that I avoid and subdue by filling my schedule with small tasks and making them seem urgent by placing exclamation points next to them. For example, in my weekend errands section, I will write "go to bank and withdraw cash!!!! or write e-mail to Kelly!!!!! (which, I haven't done yet) or study Korean!!!!! or go to the grocery store!!!! ...as if my life depended on it ... like Kim Jong-il will cross the 49th parallel just to reprimand me for not withdrawing enough cash, which I will spend later that evening on food, alchol and tteokbokki (in that order).
I write this passage in a very ususually timed break in the afternoon in hopes that I can again start a regular regimen of writing on this blog ... (I really don;t like the new interface) that's all for now . ...
Thursday, February 05, 2004
This is good link to understand the lead-up to a second round of talks. It is a brief timeline of events.
I have officially been 24 for one hour, twenty-four, viente cuatro, wow! I cannot sleep. Today, I have decided I am going to focus this blog on specifically North Korean issues... to familiarize myself with politics ... a good birthday resolution, I think ....
Saturday, January 24, 2004
I am a slacker! I have not posted nearly enough.... I need to get a PDA, or a cell phone with Internet access, so I can blog while I'm in transit. that's when I get most of my ideas. I never feel like blogging when I return home. Bolics!
I saw my birth parents and my sisters for Sollal. The experience was ... well, there is never one word to describe it. Awkward is good, but not entirely accurate. I think the euphoria surrounding my return has dissipated (well, it has for me) and they seem a bit more calm. I suspect Kim Hye-Kyoung, who works for the adoption agency, has informed them that I feel uncomfortable around them and that I do not plan to stay longer than one year. She once asked me if I feel animosty toward them. Immediately, I said "no." I don't feel any immediate annimosity toward them, but I do feel annoyed. I am not sure why ... exactly. Propbably, the best situational parallel would be the annoyance I felt growing up when I was getting ready for school, and my mother would ask me questions that required longer than 5 minute answers, which I didn't have time for then...
The frustration is a result of feeling rushed or hurried and not having the time to explain. It is also a result of feeling like, "why are you asking me now?," when clearly it is a bad time. These are rather adolescent emotions, and they are ones that are resurfacing as my relationship with my birth family slowly progresses. For a second time, my birth mother asked me what year I was born. I answered curtly "1980." These things evoke very adolescent responses, like, "why don't you remember the year I was born?" and "how could you ask me a second time?" I already told you the answer, and it is an answer I should never have had to give to begin with.
My birth mother, when the room would empty, would get close to me and again ask, "You have missed your mother... that is why you came to Korea?" Answering this question is getting tedious and annoying. How many times can a girl say "Yes."
After some reflection, but not completely without certain adolescent feelings, I feel like I will continue to take slow time getting to know them. At our last meeting, I felt a little guilty after my sister said to me, "If you are so busy, how can you come to our house today." (I always tell them I am too busy to visit them ... most of which is true now that I am writing and copy-editing for the Korea Times and am trying to maneuver into the Korea Herald). Then, I felt a little bit of resentment. "who are these people to demand my time here? and then make me feel guilty about it." I have enough stress trying to deal with my family in the United States, with whom I feel more estranged as the days wear on here.
I just responded to my sister that I had a few days off for the New Years holiday. The occasion was made lighter by my nieces, who I adore. Ji-Hyun and Ji-sun are seven and six, and they are so full of energy and easy to relate to ... ... only when I think of them, do I so far feel a responsibility to the family. I want be a good aunt, someone who doesn't just buy them things, but someone who can tell them their looks and future boyfriends and husbands should never be measures of their worth. I want to play soccer with them and teach them English ... both things that they wouldn't due on their own, in their current family situation. .... .... .... i guess in OUR family situation.
I saw my birth parents and my sisters for Sollal. The experience was ... well, there is never one word to describe it. Awkward is good, but not entirely accurate. I think the euphoria surrounding my return has dissipated (well, it has for me) and they seem a bit more calm. I suspect Kim Hye-Kyoung, who works for the adoption agency, has informed them that I feel uncomfortable around them and that I do not plan to stay longer than one year. She once asked me if I feel animosty toward them. Immediately, I said "no." I don't feel any immediate annimosity toward them, but I do feel annoyed. I am not sure why ... exactly. Propbably, the best situational parallel would be the annoyance I felt growing up when I was getting ready for school, and my mother would ask me questions that required longer than 5 minute answers, which I didn't have time for then...
The frustration is a result of feeling rushed or hurried and not having the time to explain. It is also a result of feeling like, "why are you asking me now?," when clearly it is a bad time. These are rather adolescent emotions, and they are ones that are resurfacing as my relationship with my birth family slowly progresses. For a second time, my birth mother asked me what year I was born. I answered curtly "1980." These things evoke very adolescent responses, like, "why don't you remember the year I was born?" and "how could you ask me a second time?" I already told you the answer, and it is an answer I should never have had to give to begin with.
My birth mother, when the room would empty, would get close to me and again ask, "You have missed your mother... that is why you came to Korea?" Answering this question is getting tedious and annoying. How many times can a girl say "Yes."
After some reflection, but not completely without certain adolescent feelings, I feel like I will continue to take slow time getting to know them. At our last meeting, I felt a little guilty after my sister said to me, "If you are so busy, how can you come to our house today." (I always tell them I am too busy to visit them ... most of which is true now that I am writing and copy-editing for the Korea Times and am trying to maneuver into the Korea Herald). Then, I felt a little bit of resentment. "who are these people to demand my time here? and then make me feel guilty about it." I have enough stress trying to deal with my family in the United States, with whom I feel more estranged as the days wear on here.
I just responded to my sister that I had a few days off for the New Years holiday. The occasion was made lighter by my nieces, who I adore. Ji-Hyun and Ji-sun are seven and six, and they are so full of energy and easy to relate to ... ... only when I think of them, do I so far feel a responsibility to the family. I want be a good aunt, someone who doesn't just buy them things, but someone who can tell them their looks and future boyfriends and husbands should never be measures of their worth. I want to play soccer with them and teach them English ... both things that they wouldn't due on their own, in their current family situation. .... .... .... i guess in OUR family situation.
Saturday, January 10, 2004
A link to one of my first pieces in the Times!
"Gyopos explore identity."
I think the middle is a bit rough. I tried my best to meld everyone's opinions together, but the outcome is a little stilted. I think if I were to do it again, I would focus more on Lemoine ....
I chose the theme of identity to hold all the artists together, because it was something that surfaced in all the interviews I did, and because it is something that I am dealing with here...
"Gyopos explore identity."
I think the middle is a bit rough. I tried my best to meld everyone's opinions together, but the outcome is a little stilted. I think if I were to do it again, I would focus more on Lemoine ....
I chose the theme of identity to hold all the artists together, because it was something that surfaced in all the interviews I did, and because it is something that I am dealing with here...
Monday, January 05, 2004
I am using this blog as a sounding board, one, of course, that does not speak back. I am writing an article about a Korean rock band, from the underground scene, for the paper. (This is the first week in which I am officially a copy editor and writer.) So, this blog is my friend, and I am going to explain to it what I found interesting about this band. I am going to speak to it, as if we were sitting in a coffee shop together late in the evening, but before full-on night time.
I saw the band perform New Years Eve directly after a punk band that reminded me of Green Day -- same sort of overzealous bouncing about the stage and an equal amount of hair coloring. El, the band I must write about, was a welcoming contrast. The melodies were smooth cut into by the electric cello. The band only played about five songs, but it was enough to draw the conclusion that the lead singer was heavily influenced by Radio Head. He told me after the show that he feels that Thom Yorke and him sing from a same sort of "feeling." (the translation, I think, is a bit off). One song, Real n' Fake sounds like a replica of Fake Plastic Trees, only with a few alterations.
The first few lines of Fake Plastic Trees, by Radiohead:
For her fake chinese rubber plant
In fake plastic earth.
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plants
Just to get rid of itself.
And It Wears Her Out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out.
The lyrics to Fake 'N Real:
Habitual kindness and,
Familiarized smiles of mine and,
Disguised past of mine and,
Naked present of mine and,
Bubble-like future if mine and,
Me, fake in reality
Me, real in ideal
The reporter who sits next to me translated the lyrics with a shy shrug of the shoulders and said, these lyrics are kind of silly. Another person huffed at them. Real 'N Fake I guess was not such a big hit for those sitting near me. Anyway ...
I think Lee is the most interesting part of the band. He was an orphan and didn't start playing the guitar until he was 24 ... okay ... I think I know where I want to go with this article...
I saw the band perform New Years Eve directly after a punk band that reminded me of Green Day -- same sort of overzealous bouncing about the stage and an equal amount of hair coloring. El, the band I must write about, was a welcoming contrast. The melodies were smooth cut into by the electric cello. The band only played about five songs, but it was enough to draw the conclusion that the lead singer was heavily influenced by Radio Head. He told me after the show that he feels that Thom Yorke and him sing from a same sort of "feeling." (the translation, I think, is a bit off). One song, Real n' Fake sounds like a replica of Fake Plastic Trees, only with a few alterations.
The first few lines of Fake Plastic Trees, by Radiohead:
For her fake chinese rubber plant
In fake plastic earth.
That she bought from a rubber man
In a town full of rubber plants
Just to get rid of itself.
And It Wears Her Out, it wears her out
It wears her out, it wears her out.
The lyrics to Fake 'N Real:
Habitual kindness and,
Familiarized smiles of mine and,
Disguised past of mine and,
Naked present of mine and,
Bubble-like future if mine and,
Me, fake in reality
Me, real in ideal
The reporter who sits next to me translated the lyrics with a shy shrug of the shoulders and said, these lyrics are kind of silly. Another person huffed at them. Real 'N Fake I guess was not such a big hit for those sitting near me. Anyway ...
I think Lee is the most interesting part of the band. He was an orphan and didn't start playing the guitar until he was 24 ... okay ... I think I know where I want to go with this article...
