miss stinky (back in) in seoul

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February 3rd, 2005


05:09 am
the moped-riding opera singer. i used to sing in my car with the windows rolled down, but this fellow just bellowed into the wind. "ah oh ah oh!"

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January 31st, 2005


11:13 pm - our little brown and yellow brothers


bringing (fakeass) democracy to the world, one country at a time.

one problem with being an ex-history major is you can see countries make the same mistakes over and over again. i don't deny that a bunch of americans in iraq mean well, and some might even be doing useful work, but whenever someone tells you a friend is "well-meaning" you know to be forewarned.

From an Oct. 6, 1952 issue of Time, "Bungling in Korea," a review of John Caldwell's A Korea Story

There is a widespread impression in the U.S. that South Korea's experiment with democratic government has gone poorly mainly because of the autocratic personality of President Syngman Rhee. Published this week is a vigorous dissent from this view: The Korea Story (Henry Regnery; $3), by John C. Caldwell, a China missionary's son and a veteran of the U.S. foreign service in the Far East. His conclusion: the U.S. State Department, possessed by "some of the same naive notions that . . . lost us China," messed up the chance to promote democracy in Korea.

In the winter of 1948, he was assigned to Korea. Caldwell and his Korean-speaking wife, a missionary's daughter, were stationed at Chunchon just below the 38th parallel. They set up a library, prepared films, staged puppet shows with messages that got across to illiterate Koreans. Caldwell is sure the 1948 election was "an enormous success," was shocked to find that in the U.S. it was widely criticized as undemocratic.

some of his criticisms:
--Too many U.S. diplomats "lived in isolation" from the people among whom they were posted; "thereby we cut ourselves off from the essential knowledge . . ."

--"Far from being representative of American democracy in action, the [State] Department is a honeycomb of bureaucratic regimentation and protocol."

I'm not sure how enormous of a success an election that finds a mandate for one U.S. supported/pre-installed candidate is (read, Afghanistan) but I'm pretty sure the mechanics of the 1948 South Korean election went pretty well. Women went early to vote to preserve the separation of the sexes (think images of women in burkas lined up at the polls) and voter turnout was high. It's all about the process, people. Feel the democracy. Of course, discount the series of military dictators for the next several decades. Or the fact that your country may in reality still be ruled by tribal warlords. Or that millions of people couldn't or didn't vote.

Am I too pessimistic? These same images in the paper, the familiar pageantry of democracy, the same glowing pronouncements of liberation for women (nevermind that in South Korea women still can't be the legal head of household, and thus, often end up technically under the guardianship of their son, or grandson, or whoever the oldest male in the family is), the same hopeful rhetoric, the hastily groomed U.S. approved personality, the same underequipped national security forces.

Last time I tried to do research about Korea my Korean was so terrible that all I could actually read were the American media accounts of the U.S. occupation of South Korea and American diaries and memories. Pretty subjective sources. So I switched my thesis to what these primary sources revealed about American obsessions.

eh. I have to go write my research paper on mobile phone culture among Korean youth. 'Nuff of this geopolitical mess, I'm studying camera phones!

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January 29th, 2005


10:33 pm
my roommate got married today. while I tend to find weddings in Korea a strange combination of over-the-top hokey (trumpet-shaped confetti launchers, saber-wielding uniformed attendants) and wedding conveyer belt tacky (those clicky gas lighter thingies to light the promise candles) I was duly impressed by who delivered the official congratulations to the couple - Dr. Hwang - fresh from his human embryo cloning success. now that i think about it, he's sort of a strange guy to have at your wedding, but he is a bonafide celebrity. when we went to introduce ourselves we had to navigate around his bodyguard.

::

went shopping with the admiral's daughter last sunday. there's something about that situation that inspires me to imagine writing the korean version of "pride and prejudice."

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January 27th, 2005


04:35 am - the same as a grandma


i like my girls forthright and greedy. yesterday little miss confused and i shoved steaming pawfuls of mcdonald's french fries into our mouths just minutes after we had emptied out the UFO-sized bowl of kimchi sujebi. later, song-girl waved her hand through the smoky cloud of "raison" and spat: "those old visa officials will do anything to not give you a visa." and today, after the subway door closed on her hair, the veterinarian decided to get off at the next stop and go shopping for birthday presents for the brazilian.

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January 25th, 2005


05:19 am


doing some research on jean chung, a korean photojournalist who's done a mess of interesting work including a book on brides (and not your mailorder variety...), and came across a photo syndicate she belongs to. (that sounds strangely shady huh, e.g. "the photo syndicate shook me down today.") OnAsia Images. though i find their "iconic asia" showcase a strangely bloodless parade of stereotypes (but i guess that's what stock photography is...) their current stories features a bunch of nifty images. check it out yo.

::

random anecdote about teaching english no. 41:
the high school girl i'm tutoring in SAT prep attends a christian private school. her bible teacher told her that if darwin had never written the origin of species, hitler and slavery might not have happened. the argument being that since hitler and some proponents of slavery used the idea of the "survival of the fittest" to bolster their arguments, if darwin hadn't provided them with such ideas people might not have supported them. sigh i had to point out that slavery, or even the american version of slavery, way way way predated darwin. she's an awesome girl with a heaping capacity for independent thinking. but this is how bush voters are made. one lie at a time. what you say? not a logical conclusion? but it's this confluence of piety and misguided conviction that terrifies me.

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January 24th, 2005


04:09 am - kids these days
you remember when the most fun you could have with a cellphone was "snake"? kids these days don't even know... camera phones, sheesh.



and yes, koreans are obsessed with poo. and butts. and etc.

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January 23rd, 2005


06:50 am
thing no. 873 i do not understand about korea:
why does a country that generally practices gender segregation (single-sex schools after elementary school being the norm) not maintain this ideal when it comes to bathrooms? i understand a bar may not have room for more than one bathroom, but, by god, then make it single occupancy. i do not want to see a man straddling the urinal on my way in or out of the bathroom.

thing no. 6208 i do not understand about myself:
what's with the drunk and bossy?

random anecdote about teaching english no. 78:
i've been impressing the importance of B.S.ing upon the 17 year old who i'm tutoring in literature. i told him it was probably better to call it "deep hidden meaning" and that sometimes he'd actually generate some genuine insights after mucking about in the sentences but really that he shouldn't stress too much about it and just make it up.

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January 20th, 2005


05:51 am - spatial displacement disorder
the nerdliest day yet. went to the seoul development institute to track down the book Seoul Twentieth Century, A Photographical History of the Last 100 years. found a compilation of photos taken by an AP photographer (Kim Chonkil) in the 1950s and 60s (photo below). though the photographical history was out of print (they only did a print run of 300-some for the english translation) and could only be drooled over in the library, neither purchase nor borrowing was possible, i did manage to acquire the companion text. and the exceedingly nice guy in the library/info center gave me the last copy of a book of seoul statistics for free. wanna know the price of a bowl of jjajjangmyon in 1963? or maybe 1976? i got you covered.


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January 19th, 2005


07:14 am
strange not to have observed MLK Jr. day on monday. nothing on tv. not even "i have a dream"

a christian homily that i found lying about the house: "intercessory prayer is loving your neighbor on your knees."

the name of a local food joint: "shit house"

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03:31 am
mr. projects (i've gotten tired of my victorian one-letter pseudonyms and figure i'll go for more descriptive epithets) likened teaching english to prostitution. no matter what your other talents, you are valued solely for an accident of birth. he just got laid off from his tv production gig, and over some celebratory donkatsu in gangnam, admitted that he was going to do a few hours for one of the big private english language institutes. all it involves is standing in front of the class and reading a book aloud for an hour. "see the monkey speak english perfectly!"

so.... some belated scattered mostly self-centered thoughts on the whole english spectrum scandal:
1) does this mean that the asking price for female korean american english teachers is going to go up since parents are now afraid that white male teachers are sexual predators?
2) apparently, the "ask the playboy" readers/contributers find english-speaking korean-looking girls repulsive ("Nothing turns me off more than hearing some Kyopo chick bitching away in fluent English." "10 thing that annoy ME about Korea: Korean-american chicks who sound like total valley idiots when they speak.") i can't decide if i should feel relieved or insulted.
3) mr. san jose notes that he's met guys who came to korea because they were obsessed with korean (american/canadian) girls back at home but never got the time of day so decided to come to the source.
4) this kinda reminds me when my asian american male friends would get all riled up when they saw a white guy - asian girl couple. that gut possessiveness-slash-insecurity.
5) mr. projects points out that the u.s. military has paved the way/ruined it for white males in korea for eternity. always presumed to be buying the company of any korean girl they are with.

::

i've been told repeatedly not to talk too much when i start the korean studies graduate program in march. just observe. don't offer my opinion, lest i be thought an arrogant american.

from artist Do-Ho Suh on studying in U.S art schools.:
One thing was my English, but at the same time I wasn’t really trained to express my feelings or thoughts on art. I was not trained to do that at all. So it took me an entire semester to just say, "I like this work" or "I don’t like this work." And then, gradually, I started to learn how to talk about my art. And ironically, I had never talked about my art in Korean before. Even though my English is not good, I think I feel more comfortable actually talking about my work in English than in Korean. That’s something that I find interesting. So when I give a lecture in Korea, for example, I realize myself actually translating my thoughts in English into Korean. So yeah, it’s a funny thing.

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January 16th, 2005


06:30 am - korean language procrastination
so the big korean language learning revelation for the week was that the "tang" in mogyoktang (bathhouse) and the "tang" in boshintang (dog stew) is the same. while making fun of how much english-derived vocabulary has taken over korean signs, media, etc, and asking my mom what chinese root words such classics as "gae-eem" and "bae-bee" are derived from, i read a sign for galbitang (galbi stew, natch) and began to wonder....

this morning the dictionary provided confirmation. now i can't think of mogyoktang as anything but "boiled people"

useful for other korean language learners who aren't already haunting the Let's Learn Korean site -- an introduction to Gerry Bever's Korean Language blog. The choice tidbit that made me almost pee in my pants?

I was going to add 오줌버캐 to the list, but decided that most of us can probably go through our entire lives without the topic of "urine incrustations" coming up in conversation with our Korean friends.

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03:48 am - a tale of love gone wrong for Panda Man
from the third floor of the korea national museum of contemporary art you can look down on the seoul land sledding hill and the masses of people crammed up at the top waiting for their turn. we watched one kid fall off her sled 5 meters down the slope. there was a thin coating on the ground and cars this morning, but most of the snow must have been machine generated. nothing but a few flurries this whole month. later, from a perch above the opposite side of the amusement park, i saw two pink-parka girls running around scraping up snow from steps to add to their snowballs -- not enough to make even one snowman.

i miss snow bad. i want heaping mounds of it. my mouth salivates at the vision of the first significant snowfall. i've scoped out a few hills (near the engineering dept is best i think) on campus and figure i can pilfer a few metal trays from the cafeteria for an afternoon sledding expedition.

//


thoughts after dragging my eyeballs through the young artists from korea, china, and japan show:
1. japanese artists remain obsessed with technology, the atomic bomb, and death.
2. chinese artists tend towards criticizing consumerism and contemporary culture
3. korean artists are lonely
or at least, that's what it looked like from the 20 or so artists represented.


favorite pieces were by 천성명 and zhao bandi (aka panda man). panda man created a "fight SARS, defend the homeland" poster that was published without his permission in a whole mess of chinese media. he took his panda to court and successfully won the first art copyright infringement case in china. he also read a break-up letter his girlfriend sent him as evidence to his state of mind. now if i could only genetically meld jon stewart and zhao bandi into one small implike creature.

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January 13th, 2005


11:54 pm
i've been thinking a lot about the effect of population on music. like, i'm convinced that seoul must have the most amazing hardcore scene just waiting to happen. angry white kid from suburban america move over, meet angry korean kid crammed into a society where not even money can buy you space. feel boxed in? check. feel pressured to conform? check.

what forms of musical expression are best matched to which cultures and countries? m swears that non-american hiphop is just laughable, while i argue that war is some serious street cred and that hiphop makes sense as the expression of a urban underclass. another friend maintains that the korean language just isn't suited for rapping - the flow or something is all mucked up.

all i know is that the saccharine "I do's" of k-pop's barechested surgically enhanced flavors of the year seems really wrong. cha-ra-ri pan-so-ri.

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January 9th, 2005


12:08 am - miss persimmon
on the way back to the subway from my SAT tutoring gig, i walk past a lady blowing raspberries. i look at her, startled, but she keeps on thpbbbt-ing away. i realize that she's doing those As Seen On TV! face exercises that are supposed to tone your muscles and get rid of wrinkles. but it kinda seems like wearing headgear in public, or applying rogaine in a shared dormitory bathroom.

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January 6th, 2005


05:54 am - finding the pepper
i didn't intend the double entendre at first, merely relaying the title of yesterday's midday tv program on the origins of the hot pepper. basically a bunch of korean people trying to uphold their hot pepper honor in bolivia and mexico and getting their tongues fried by habaneros.

i don't know what it's like to be a girl here:

a) an undergrad in the graphic design department hooked up with her 62 year old visiting prof from england on their first date. (he was asking all the female students out for dinner) she apparently insists that she's not korean. (does that mean she's chinese? or japanese? pick the closest country?) after telling her parents that she was dating a 42 year old (two decades give or take) and causing a ruckus, she borrowed a chunk of money from another visiting professor and fled to england.

b) went skating at the city hall outdoor rink with a canadian, a german, an indonesian and a japanese classmate. not the start of an ethnic joke, sorry. girls were wobbling around the rink in mini pleated skirts and stockings, a teetering girl with her arms out for balance even had her handbag weighing down one wrist.

c) girl on the street interviews: when asked what she wished for the new year, one said "a goodlooking boyfriend, because i'm thirty and single!", and one said "for my husband's work to go well."

d) the 11th grader i'm to tutor kept pushing back the start date so she could sufficiently recover from her chin surgery. winter vacation must be gangbusters for plastic surgeons in korea. get fixed up between christmas and graduation in february.

i know, this is not a connect the dots picture, and a bit of shocking gossip and the desire to not be lonely doesn't add up to an alien branch of femininity. after all, my fingers did twitch after the tweety bird hatted girl-toddler in a pink parka wavering across the ice. i interviewed one of the artists in the korean-eyesed exhibit (12 foreign artists presenting their work influenced by life in korea) who said that she loved being "the alien who can do anything", that she didn't have to conform. and yet, like i mentioned yesterday, people still told her "girls don't do that!"

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January 5th, 2005


07:02 am
i just met another furriner who decided to learn korean in order to be able to argue with the ajushis. mostly they gave her crap for smoking in public, or sometimes asked her which bar she worked at (apparently all blonde women in her neighborhood are russian prostitutes by default). i think my korean is okay enough to argue - or at least defend my position.

but i have a new goal.


i want to be able to talk shit in korean. mr. san jose and i went to the new band showcase, "wednesdays at baram" and saw the korean wierd al. he sang/screeched a song about my bank (nonghyup), a song about being the loneliest boy in the world, and a song about cooking ramen. he wore a wig (i think) and a velvet skirt, with a long red overcoat, and had a nice performative flair. but he's like a one-joke short film that you want to be short and sweet. so after the 12th song with the same damn strum pattern, we fled to a rock bar where i asked for def leppard (sp?) and talked shit. in english. and i realized that's what i miss doing in korean. bullshitting.

so here are my new levels of korean fluency.

level 1: ordering drinks
level 2: picking fights with ajushis
level 3: calling for pizza/jjajjangmyun delivery
level 4: winning fights with ajushis
level 5: surfing the internet
level 6: bullshitting

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January 3rd, 2005


02:39 pm
very cool. Oh My News International just published my first story for them.

also, here's a firsthand report on tent cities in japan.

also, also, after i complained about the lack of universal health insurance, one of my korean teachers said that everyone is covered in korea... except that there are free health clinics for low-income Seoul residents. the ministry of propaganda, that's where my teachers are really from.

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January 2nd, 2005


04:13 am
so i had planned to go to "skunk hell" last night, a hongdae club run by the epononymous hardcore label and where i think the old punk venue "drug" used to be. smelly little town was playing, and who could resist that name? almost as good as my brainchild, "the primary sources." anyway i got lured away by wine, but this is what i missed out on.





quick, hand me my wristband!

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January 1st, 2005


05:45 pm - happy new year
my mother and i greeted each other new year's morning with "may you write a book this year."

Maybe I can explain my attraction to writing by telling you about a wonderful Japanese movie I saw called After Life. The premise is that a group of people have died and they're in a sort of purgatory. The staff come in and bow and say, "Weíre so sorry for your loss." Then they tell these people that they have three days to pick out the one most important memory of their entire lives. Once they have chosen, it will be re-enacted and put it on videotape so they can take it with them to their next world. And that's all they can take. All their other memories will be erased. I think there's something of that impulse in a lot of writers. You want to be able to say here is a memory, not necessarily from my own life, but a certain feeling, an insight or mood, a moment so beautiful or meaningful that I want to capture it forever. - Mary Yukari Waters, Kyoto Journal interview.


before i left for seoul, i watched afterlife again for the first time since it came out in 1999. instead of getting stuck musing about what my most perfect memory is, like the last time i watched it, this time i thought more about that man who chooses a memory that was dear to his fiancee - sitting silently on the park bench. to know after the fact that you made someone happy.

may you make someone very happy this year.

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07:03 am - sour like a lemon
did i mention that i can sort of do internet searches in hangul now? after thirty minutes on yahoo korea, i found the homemade tofu restaurant by my house, after two hours via naver.com i found the hardcore/punk venue in hongdae. i'm being very diligent when it comes to exploration of seoul, i am a devourer. and yet after one week of vacation, i've stopped muttering to myself in korean. no more loops of korean jingles in the brain, just some kenny loggins. too much english chatter, not enough struggling through korean news sites. i've been reading an odd combination of books - international economics, 1 dollar crime novels from the corner used bookstore and an american's essays on japan (the blue-eyed taroka, donald keene). "a favorite saying at the time [after WWII] was that two things had become stronger since the war, socks and women."

talked cheese with a belgian tonight, but forgot to ask him if it was OK to call him "belgish."

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