rachael ray

to my astonishment, rachael ray of $40 a day fame has fan sites.  one is actually listed under www.tv.bodaciousgoddess.com.

one of j and i's favorite veg-time things to do is flip on the food network and make fun of rachael ray.  on rainy evenings, we turn on the fireplace, get the fleece throw and a couple mugs of hot cocoa (okay, maybe a can of soda instead) and nestle in front of the t.v.'s projection of rachael and all her annoying ways.  i could list a jug of things that make her an easy target for teasing, but because doing so will make me seem b-ish, that would not do.  i have to say, though, that j and i do not think that rachael is worthy of being called any sort of "bodacious goddess."  please.

okay, despite my efforts, that last paragraph made me seem b-ish anyway.  might as well finish my rant.

the two main things that annoy me about rachael is that she is a liar, and she is a liar.  so the show is about how you can stretch $40 to go a long way in satisfying your taste buds and hunger while visiting foreign cities.  this means that when you buy an appetizer for dinner because you don't have enough money to get what you really want, rachael, you are cheating.  cheater! 

she also lies about how everything she comes across is the most delicious thing she has ever tasted.  that cannot be true, rachael, if you say it in every show.  you liar.  how could you?  as buddy the elf would say, "you sit on a throne of lies."

maybe the real reason why i think she's so annoying is because i want her job and i can't have it.  die, rachael...die!

what really gets me going: part II

well if we can’t be lovers,¹ then we can’t be friends.

someone very dear to me has recently become a victim to this ultimatum, and it sent me back down memory lane.  i was reminded of how much this kind of stuff pisses me off.

the first time it happened to me, i was 14 (15?) and confused.  he was a bad-boy type, and because his group of troublemaker friends was the only click at school with which i didn’t really have an “in” on, i was flattered by his attention.  after getting his license, he would swing by to pick me up for school in the mornings…until one day, he gave me the ultimatum while we were at a football game.  i think i freaked out and ran away.  subsequently, he became “badder” and got kicked out of our school for drugs or misbehavior, i forget which. 

the second time it happened to me, i shouldn’t have been surprised.  i was fresh in college and back then, we were all selfish, shallow, immature.  he was super nice to me, carrying my books, buying me dinner, visiting me when i was sick.  i should have known that he had a hidden agenda, but to my defense, everyone is nice to you your freshman year; everyone fronts for the first semester, until you’ve determined who your little posse will consist of.  i told him that i just wanted to be friends, and i never saw him again.  i felt like tuesday morning trash left out on the curb.

the last time it happened to me, i should have been stronger.  i should said, “you know what, this is crap...i can’t be put in this position.  sorry.”  but it happened at a point in my life when i was the weakest, and he knew that.  he knew that i couldn’t say no.

it got me thinking that people who have this “all or nothing” approach to love, i think, think themselves to be hopeless romatics—tragically head-over-heels, i-can’t-live-without-you in love with you.  (is it a korean thing?)  but no matter how deeply convicted the speaker is of his/her love for you, the fact is that these words can never be driven by love.  behind the words is an immature, selfish person, thinking only of his/her needs.  i see it as psychological abuse.

“love is patient.”  that’s the first word that the bible uses to describe “love,” and probably for good reason.

am i bitter?  maybe.  to be given up on, without being given a real chance, bothers me.  to have lost the potential of a meaningful friendship bothers me more.

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¹not literally "lovers"--i just had to use the phrase because i heard positive k's "i got a man" on the radio the other day, which actually got me thinking about all this.  every time i say the word "lovers," i have to say it the way will ferrel and rachell dratch do in their lovers sketch..."LUVAAAHS."  i love will ferrell, by the way.

what really gets me going: part I

if you live where i live, and watch the news tonight, you might see me.

you know that big 38-year-old softball coach & 15-year-old softball player runaway case?  the man plead guilty in federal court today (to my dismay, since i thought it would be an interesting trial), and the media was all over it.  one count of traveling in interstate commerce with a minor for the purpose of engaging in a sexual act.  of course, no cameras are allowed in the courtroom, so they bombarded mr. prosecutor as soon as he stepped outside.

(i'm the blurry little green speck in the background, hiding behind the big glass doors and holding all of mr. prosecutor's notes and files in my arms.)

we laughed about the "media attack" the first time it happened (when mr. softball coach was indicted); this time, it was kind of like a sigh of relief.  it's all over now, and the world is a cleaner place today.  tell the whole world.

people wonder how gm (mr. prosecutor) can handle working on these types of cases day after day, cases dealing with child exploitation/pornography/abuse.  i've heard people say that it's the hardest stuff to deal with.  i've heard from several prosecutors that boy are they glad they don't have to work on cases like gm's.  but me, it's my dream job.  i love working with gm on these cases--even the really awful ones.  to me, nothing would be more fulfilling than putting these people behind bars.  whether it be through enforcing laws or writing laws, this is what i want to do.

the drawback of knowing that such people exist is that i fear having kids of my own...which is a problem, because i'm set on having five.  children are pure and innocent (okay, maybe with a few exceptions...kidding), trusting and vulnerable.  what in the world drives people to choose to manipulate them.... 

mania

i know.  someday, i will grow out of this phase.  but until that time comes,  i will happily and obsessively continue posting puppy pictures.

following suit with my november tradition, i started off the month with a good bout of shopping.  what is it with november and shopping?  someone told me a long time ago that when christmas shopping season comes around, the malls spray some sort of scent through their vents that makes people want to shop.  i also heard that disneyland does a similar thing, but who in their right mind would ever believe such filth, that the happiest place on earth would dare stoop so low.

when on a mission, i get extremely picky.  for example, when i'm hungry, my food has to be perfect.  which is why i can't deal with mexican food when i'm starving out of my mind because the drippy goopy beany mess that good burritos always are will completely p' me off.  another example: clothes shopping.  i go on multiple missions to find "the perfect black shoes" or "the perfect warm jacket."  usually i end up settling for less than perfect because they never make anything perfect...(and at the right price).

but yesterday, i found the perfect green sweater.  and at mervyn's, of all places.  mervyn's reminds me a lot of my childhood, because me, my mom and chach would often go there after art and/or piano lessons.  (to relieve stress.)  mervyn's was like comfort food to me: the smell, the lighting, the sight of neatly hanging clothes.  i don't remember when i "outgrew" the store, thinking it was no longer appropriate to shop there anymore.  i don't remember how it happened, either--but i suppose i know why.  i think i could probably write a mini essay about my mervyn's experience, but there are better things that one could spend their time reading of.

point: never rule out mervyn's.  they've got perfect green sweaters.

my boys

a lot of important things happened this week.  on the day of j & my anniversary, timber showed his first sign of puppy puberty--he lifted his leg up to pee (instead of squatting, which is what he's been doing until now).  i almost cried.  i also took him out on his very first walk around the neighborhood, which didn't go too well because timber peed happy pee all over the neighborhood kids who came running up to pet him.

i wish puppies would never grow up.  do they have puppy growth stunting hormones?  someone's got to.

on our anniversary, i wrote j a long letter.  we used to write letters to each other obsessively when we dated...i have boxes and boxes of them, nearly 10 years' worth (minus a few months here and there), and so i thought it appropriate to write one for the occasion.  in it, i reflected on this past year, and how much both of us have grown through it.  my plan was to write down some sort of 5-year plan for us and our marriage, but somewhere along the line, all i could say was thank you.

thank you for never giving up on me. 
thank you for loving my family, and caring so much about them.
thank you for letting me win (most times).
thank you for working so hard.
thank you for timber.
thank you for the "snug as as bug in a rug" thing, because it's so cute sometimes.
thank you for always trusting me and never asking me nosy questions the way i always do (sorry).
thank you for morning kisses before you leave for work.
thank you for coming to visit me in every city that i lived in since we'd met.
thank you for teaching me and motivating me to be more responsible.
thank you for not being a flirty bastard because then i'd go on a jealous rampage and start beating girls down left and right with a baseball bat.
thank you for all the times you forced yourself to do the dishes because i was too lazy.
thank you for all the times you prayed for me.
thank you for loving me, even on my ugliest, meanest, nastiest days.

and, thank you for not beating me with a baseball bat for posting a picture of you in your boxers.  =)