Korea Life Blog - Isabelle Gardiner


It would be a lie to say I wasn't a selfish person the first time in ages I went to visit my aunt Isabelle. She lived an hour's drive from my apartment when I went to SUNY Oswego in NY. She was related to my grandmother in some vague way, and though we weren't blood related she was always called "Aunt Izzy." I always knew she was close but I didn't go see her.

My girlfriend had just dumped me and I was down in the dumps. I was hopelessly depressed. I didn't want to be around pretty much anyone. During that miserable period of my life, somehow I remembered Isabelle. One day, at my wit's end, I simply got in my car and went to visit her. She lived in an old rundown trailer in the country across the street from a beautiful apple orchard:



She was overjoyed by my arrival. I still remember it. She was writing a check for $10 in response to a "sweepstakes"...one of those letters that prey on the elderly and anyone else with the suggestion they may make it rich. This letter was worded carefully so that she was sure she'd win if she sent the money. Money she could use to make everyone happy. And $10 to Isabelle was by no means a small sum. For years she had sent me a Christmas card with a one dollar bill stuffed inside. Same on my birthday. Always these cards included a hand written letter about the weather and about her latest ailments.

At that time she was around 85 or so. She had very little. Her husband died from emphysema at the young age of 45. He smoked liked a chimney, as Mom remembered. Isabelle stayed faithful to him after he died. She told me how a young man used to come visit her with flowers. She'd let him sit on the sofa until he got bored and then we would just leave. Eventually he gave up, she said. "And I was glad!"

She lived on Social Security and other social benefits us Americas are lucky enough to have. She had a nurses aid who checked in every week to clean, pick up groceries, and even do her hair.

Though she didn't have much, what she had was enough for her. She always had plenty of food on hand, usually sandwich meats and a ton of fresh fruits and vegetables. Especially potatoes. She loved boiled potatoes so much. With lots of butter. She loved all foods. Eating was her favorite hobby. And she insisted on preparing my lunch while I relaxed in front of the TV. I let her cook for me, though it was a struggle for her to get around, because it made her feel so good and important. I washed all the dishes.

We would sit and talk for hours. She had quite a sense of humor and I could make little jokes about her weight or about anything and it would get her rolling. She made me laugh too. She was amazingly with it for her age.

That first time I visited her, I could barely think straight - I was so caught up in my heartache. But I felt peaceful with Isabelle, just laying there in her small trailer and relaxing. From that time on, I visited her several times a week. When the hurt wore off from my relationship, I still visited her. Isabelle, an 85 year old woman, became my best friend. For over a year we spent a lot of time together. We went out to a nice dinner on my birthday and had delicious steaks and she insisted on paying, which almost made me cry knowing how much money that was for her. I used to drive her to the graveyard so she could talk to her husband and leave fresh flowers. Sometimes I'd just drive her around the countryside. It wasn't easy for her to get in and out of my compact Honda, but I helped her and she enjoyed it so much. There weren't many people in her life anymore, except a kind neighbor that checked in on her once in awhile. I realized she was lonely when I looked at her notebooks. She kept a journal for the past ten years. Every entry was pretty much the same: "I woke up at 11 and had a tomato sandwich. Sunny day. Ate a nice dinner - ham and boiled potatoes. Jean came by for a short time and watched TV. I went to bed at 12 AM."

She cherished the fact she was independent. But when she fell down one day and couldn't get off the floor and was stuck until someday came by, her remaining few friends convinced her that was enough. She had to go to a nursing home. She was allowed to take just a few things - a sad affair for her as she was a child of the Depression and never threw anything away.

She was also very sad when I told her I was going to Korea, but also she was glad for me. I felt guilty to leave her. I promised to write her letters all the while, a promise that I never kept. In a day and age when we're so used to simply getting online and writing an e-mail, writing by hand has become a rarity. I wrote her maybe three times. I have no excuse.

The last time I went home, I broke my arm and ended up staying for quite awhile. When I was able to drive again, I started to visit her in the nursing home, a rather dull and depressing place. A scary place. A prison. The last time I saw her was Easter of 2003. She was so happy to hear I would come. I was the only person who did.

She shared a room with a dying woman. Her life's possessions had dwindled down to a small collection of letters and a few photos. She had just a bed and a small TV. But she was ever cheerful. I remember how hard I laughed when she told me how one of her dresses went missing and a few weeks later she wheeled down the hall and passed another old lady wearing her dress. And the woman denied it, even though it had Izzy's initials embroidered in the collar! She never did get the dress back and she even thought about a lawsuit for $15. At first I thought she was serious, until she winked at me.

Isabelle died this morning. She was 89 years old. Her heart simply stopped beating and it was very peaceful. I feel guilty for not keeping in touch more. But I'm also very happy for her. She lived a long, simple life and was very happy with so little. She was the most heartwarming person I've ever met. I love her.



This is Isabelle Gardener, the kindest and gentlest person you could ever know. The smiley pin on her sweet dress speaks volumes about her charming personality.



We were together in this photo on Easter of 2003. We had a wonderful afternoon and I was sad to say goodbye. It was the last time I ever saw or spoke to her. I miss her so much and wish I could have spent more time with her.

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - Ads Every Day Ads!


No matter how many advertisement ads I take off my door, there's always two or three more by the end of the day, and usually from the same places. We must have hundreds of these already, though I usually throw them out. I used to throw all of them away before I moved in with Julie. Now we keep some and order once a pizza one a month if that. It's really annoying and shouldn't this be illegal? The worst is when they put an actual sticker on your door that you can't get off without a lot of effort. If I were Korean I'd call up and raise a fit, but I rarely see anyone complain...I guess it's just part of life here.



Here's what's on my door just hours after I threw several away. How many damn restaurants can there be around here? Competition is cut throat.



Look at this ad for fried chicken. They're even advertising draft beer delivery...actually, wait. That's pretty cool...maybe I'll keep this one.


Not only this, but at least twice a week somebody bangs on my door trying to sell a fan. Now I keep my door open most of the time and the fan is in clear view, but still they run up and down ringing the door bells and banging, including mine. Sometimes it's early and I'm asleep. So I'll go to the door in nothing but boxer shorts and my hair's standing up and I'll start speaking English really fast. They usually say "Ashii," (in English that means something like, "ahh, damn"...) and head to the next door. Sometimes they continue the sale in Korean.

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - Steak and a DVD Player


Yesterday was a really nice day. I sold several copies of my book, received a donation, got a bunch of nice e-mails, and several astounding comments about how I inspired people to come teach in Korea. I must say, I am really thankful for all the feedback I get. Thanks everyone.

Then Julie and I decided to have a nice dinner. I haven't had a steak in over a year so we decided on TGIF down the street. Most of these pics speak for themselves and need little commentary. Here's what I got:



This is the "Surf n' Turf." The steak is a NYS (my home state) strip. I thought "turf" usually means lobster, but these shrimp were pretty damn good. The whole meal was great, but then again I was starving and haven't had a meal like this in so long. I never go to these chains in America because I dislike the homegenization of restaurants and try to support local diners and small places. Not to mention the food is overpriced. This meal wasn't too bad. 32,000 won (like 26$) which included soup, salad, bread, and cola. The only thing that was disappointing was the potato itself. Tasted pre-processed.




Julie got the London Broil set for around 28,000. She loved it.




Nice shot here of the salad. No fruit! Excellent blue cheese dressing.




Broccoli and cheese soup. Small but good.




Mostly everything including the restaurant is identical to back home. But here's something you won't see there...kimchi and sweet pickles.




A not-so-great photo of the menu, but you get the idea...



Another menu shot. This is what you see when you sit at the table.




Julie snuck this picture of me. I was so hungry and everything looked great.




Here's Julie avoiding the camera as usual. She looks thrilled that I have to document everything we do together. Well...almost everything.




I swear I look like a different dumbass in every photo. Are you one of those people too? This does not look like me. Or...does it?...scary! Julie cut my hair, by the way. Not bad for free. I'm terrified of Korean shops ever since the last time I walked out almost bald. And you know with my forehead that's not pretty.



The meal ended up around 50,000 won ($45) total, no tipping :D We saved 20% with Julie's KTF phone benefits. The places was jammed pack and it was only a Wednesday. It won't be long before Koreans are as fat as us Americans. I ate a ton of butter, cheese, sour cream, etc.




Later we stopped at Walmart. I can't believe I'm plugging Walmart and TGIF. However, this was a pretty sweet deal for 89,000 won (About $85).




Korean electronics come with batteries and cables. I forgot if they do back in the states. I just remember buying something and cursing because I need to go back out for a cable or whatever, but I can't remember what it was....(getting old).




Here we are, the greatest movie ever made. Rocky 1. The only Rocky movie in my opinion. I can watch this once a week and I never tire of it and usually I have wet eyes at the end every time. What a symbolic story of personal triumph.




Here's our set up so far. I almost laughed when Julie got our satellite TV installation bill: 2,500 won (less than 2 bucks!). We get buckets of channels for about 15 dollars/month. When nothing's on, usually on the weekends or late at night, we can watch Rocky, Sanford and Son, Slingblade, Cast Away, and other favorites I have now. Somehow, I'm not sure Julie will like Sanford and Son.

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - Dinner


I guess we're going to Outback after all tonight so check this post later. I'm bringing my camera. Are you hanging on the edge of your seat?

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - Waiting Around


Sent off a bunch of resumes and talked to some recruiters yesterday. They're pretty much all the same:


Shawn: Hi, I'm looking for a job.

Recruiter: Oh, sure! We have lots of jobs. Can we meet you tonight?

Shawn: Just a minute. Where are the jobs? What's are they like?

Recruiter: What?

Shawn: I have my own apartment. Do you have anything in Bucheon City?

Recruiter: That's OK, we get you housing money.

Shawn: But do you have anything in my area?

Recruiter: Um, maybe...

Shawn: I'll send you my resume on e-mail.

Recruiter: OK. We call you back.


They don't even want to know anything about you. They want you to travel to go meet them somewhere then offer some crummy job on the other side of the city and collect their 1,000,000 won($850)fee from the hagwon.


Now that my book is done, I have nothing to do except wait for recruiters to call and send out more resumes. I haven't seen many job ads anywhere near my home lately. Looks like I'll have to do some travelling to work. Sometimes I miss the ease of working in Nowhere-dong, 3-4 classes/day and right across the street. However, I don't miss that awful town though.

In the meantime, I've been reading book after book. I just finished Fast Food Nation, by Eric Schlosser, and vow never to eat at a fast food chain again. Now I'm halfway through John Grisham's The Rainmaker. I saw the movie awhile ago and really enjoyed it. I'm not much into fiction these days but they carried it across the street at the bookstore so I picked up a copy for around 10,000 won. As per usual, the book is much better than the movie. What I hate about reading a book after seeing the movie is you imagine the actors instead of the character's in the writing. I keep picturing Matt Damon and Danny Devito running all around Memphis.



Another thing I've been doing: crossword puzzles. They really help to improve your vocabulary and when you have your own book you can cheat if you get stuck. They also pass a lot of time, especially on a long trip.


And then I stand here in front of the window waiting for Julie to come back and looking at the scenery:










Tonight we're going to eat a nice dinner together somewhere. Maybe more saeng galbi or perhaps even a nice steak/lobster dinner at Outback. I don't particularly like that place but I haven't had a steak or a real burger for that matter in a year and a half and she's got a discount card through her phone company.

I'll try to post the pictures later or early tomorrow.

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - Island of Fantasy


The book is completely finished and published.


The ISBN number (1-4116-1152-7) and barcode is on the back for bookstores to order in the future. The price is $10 and credit cards are accepted. If you would like to order without a credit card or Paypal, or if you have any other questions regarding the book or comments and feedback, send an e-mail to kojebook@gmail.com and I'll get back to you shortly. Click on the photo and check it out.

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - Korea Life Blog Shares


Every once in awhile I check my referrer log. Today I found an interesting link:


Blog Shares

Seems my blog shares are fairly competitive in Korea...

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - E-Sam Job Offer Rejection Letter


After talking it over with Julie, we decided that the E-Sam agency is not reliable and that I'd be taking a serious risk working for such an inexperienced outfit and experimental program. It didn't occur to me until the last meeting that this operation is basically a startup business by a couple of Korean guys and an Australian ex-hagwon teacher. I wish I had a scanner so that I could post the lengthy contract here. There were a couple of things I almost missed that when I saw made me hit my hand on my head. My favorite clause, in addition to the 200,000 won security deduction each month (that would leave the salary as low as 1.6) for housing had I required place, was the last one:

11. Termination of contract

This agreement can be immediately terminated by the employer [E-sam Agency] if there is sufficient evidence that the teacher has defaulted on the obligations [and there's a ton of them] as specified in this agreement. In the case of receiving two warning notices for neglecting his/her duties or if the teacher is unable to perform his duties [God forbid I get the flu!] the contract shall be terminated. In this situation the employer has no obligation to provide the cost of the return ticket to the teacher [that's fine, unless you're in your 11th month] OR THE SALARY FOR THAT MONTH.[my caps, WTF????] The teacher will be discharged at once WITHOUT ANY PRIOR NOTICE [my caps, again, WTF???]. Not only this, but section d of the same clause:

In case of termination before the completion of one year [in other words, even during the very last month] the salary for that month will not be given [I can't believe they're even printing that again] and [now get this] he/she is to give the employer the equivalent of a one-way airfare [that they don't even offer up front to anyone, so I don't get it - what? are they going to use the ticket to flee to Sydney with all the teachers' unpaid monies?], expenses (recruiting and visa) and should give one month notice prior to the termination date.[Um, yeah, OK, I'll give you a month's notice so you can take all my money for that month and make me give you even more in hopes that you will write me a "release letter."]

Here's what I wrote to them today:


Hello,

I want to thank you for your time, but after careful
consideration, I decided against taking either job.
(they had offered two, both well over an hour from where I live)
There are several reasons for this, but it basically
comes down to the fact that you require excessive
responsibility for an insulting salary. Also there is
not a chance in hell I would sign that contract the
way it is written now. Two warnings for any reason and
"the employer has no obligation to provide the salary
for that month." Among other dubious clauses that one
takes the cake.

A five day unpaid orientation and a probationary
period that can lead to even lower pay and a weekly
meeting at the head office on Saturday and on and on...
I don't know what you are thinking, honestly. You'd be
better off taking people with no experience right off
the plane so you can take advantage of them.

Shawn Matthews


I don't know why the government trusts these shady inexperienced startups to handle the foreign teacher programs. I tell you, it looks like this new program is not going to be any better than the last one. See this article.

It's back to the drawing board today. The main problem I have, OK-besides being picky because I have a brain and know when something is fishy and not just taking any job and thereby perpetuating bad deals, is that I have my own place and the area I live in. We decided to live here because it's very nice and inexpensive and not too far from Julie's job. However, it's pretty far from most parts of Seoul where the bulk of jobs have been advertised. While there's a lot of hagwons right around the corner, I don't know how to get a job at one without just going to them. Usually the schools don't expect that, as I found out when I tried that before, and they already have teachers or they use a recruiter. I guess maybe I'll have to use one as well this time and I'm waiting for a couple to get back to me. There's no immediate hurry. My visa is good until late October.

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - Haircut


The beautiful cocker spaniel has gotten a complete shaving. Poor little guy. Apparently they cut the hair because he was too hot. Ironically the weather has been cool since his haircut and now he's just bald and ugly.



I was lying down and just wearing boxers before a shower. I had the door open and was on the phone when the dog ran in like this, jumped on me, freaked me out as I didn't recognize him, then stole my wallet and ran down the hallway. I had to hang up and quickly get dressed and retrieve the wallet from the owner. It was pretty funny.

written by shawn matthews    -|link

Korea Life Blog - David Romance


David Romance, who made a donation to my blog a ways back from Canada (see here, came to Korea to visit his friend and then gave me a call. He's 26 and studying for his MBA back in Toronto and is visiting Korea for a few weeks, then a week in Thailand and another in Tokyo. He wanted some chicken and beer so Julie and I took him to our favorite place near Songnae Station.



Here we are enjoying our huge glasses of beer. The chicken was really good too.

Afterward we took David for his first experience at a DVD bang and he wonders, as do I, why such a concept isn't spreading like a wildfire in our culture. Some have argues that'd be illegal, but I don't see how since you're technically renting the movie...they "bang" is just presenting a comfortable and private place to view the rental. We decided to watch a Korean movie called "Old Boy" which had gotten great reviews but which all three of us thought was terrible, horrendous, atrocious. It was one of the worst movies I've seen in ages. We should have showed him a more traditional Korean movie like Chiburo (The Way Home) or something of that nature. Oh well, we still had a good time.

written by shawn matthews    -|link