KLB - I Can't Think of a Title


Coincidentally, the internet was down in our apartment yesterday, but supposedly for just a short time. When we still couldn't connect today, Julie called Megapass back and it turns out we didn't pay the bill. Though we signed up at a 10% discount for using direct payment. Somehow they weren't taking the payment. So they've been charging us full price and since they didn't get a payment they disconnected our service, without even a phone call! Julie was furious and the explanation she got was that they changed computer systems or some BS and no longer had her account info. Now she has to go to the bank, take out the money, then go over to the post office to pay the bill. So, I'm back here at the PC bang for a bit until tomorrow.

I'm going to have to start a separate page for my assistant, like I did for Windy with the The Windy Times. Today she said the oddest things to me.

"Shawn! (She always starts a conversation by exclaiming my name. I continually think she's about to spring some awful news on me.) I heard something yesterday from other [Korean] teachers. I heard foreigners like I-dae [Ehwa Women's University] girls!" (For the love of all that's good and holy, it can't be true!)

Her face a contorted expression of shock and surprise: "Is it true?" she asked, as if I were to reply "Yes, we do," her opinion of foreigners would be reduced to an all new low.

"Well," I said, pondering my response. "Doesn't every guy like young pretty girls? I'm sure Korean guys do too..."

"Oh my god! Those girls so bad, you know?"

"What do you mean?"

"They date doctor. Then if lawyer comes along, they leave doctor and dating lawyer."

(It wouldn't surprise me with all the westernization going on here.)

"Sure, some, I guess. They're not all like that."

"And you know what?" Cathy continued. "Some of those girls so bad. They live with the man in same apartment - and they not married!" She said it implying those girls are out of their minds.

"Are you serious?" I said, playing along. It was obvious she hadn't made the connection that Julie and I live together without being married, which she knows.



I shook my head in disbelief, pretending to be just as outraged. I wasn't about to carry on the discussion or try to change the way she feels. Such an attempt would be fruitless and futile.

After work, Julie and I ordered a box of chicken. While we were waiting, a salesman rapped on our door again. As soon as Julie answered, the man started his routine about water purifiers. I pulled her aside and said, "Julie, try to sell him one of my books as a joke!" The box was sitting nearby. She wouldn't do it, though she thought it would be pretty funny and got a kick out of watching me hold a copy and impersonate the salesman out of his view. By the way, Julie hasn't purchased a copy of my book yet either! What, does she expect a freebie too? What is it around here? I ain't no charity! (better clarify that's a joke, for my literal and sensitive readers. I'm sure I'll give her one eventually, as long as she pays a few bucks for my John Hancock).

This PC bang is driving me nuts. Every 15 minutes the screen goes blank and a PC bang advertisement video starts playing for a Korean computer game.

For most of my readers, this concludes the update. If you're one of those angry people who are just fed up, sick and tired of hearing me talk about my book on my own blog, then click away immediately! Thank you for reading. Have a nice day.

I would like to say a special thank you to Dave Sperling from the famous ESL Cafe. After our last exchange on e-mail, in which he offered some marketing suggestions, Dave went ahead and took a banner ad for Island of Fantasy and put it on one of his pages. Truly a nice surprise. It's not very much of a thank you, but he will get a copy of the book in the mail this week from Lulu. (Yikes, maybe after he reads it, he'll remove the banner ad! Perhaps I'd better send a Harry Potter book with my cover pasted on top! Maybe stuff in a few random pages to make it more legit. I can see it now. One minute Harry Potter will be flying on a goblet of fire-or whatever it is he does-the next he'll be arguing with Brenda about his awful schedule at Wonder School! Dave'll never be the wiser!)

Well, I've had enough of this place. Seems when I update from the PC bang I end up writing more at least. This chair is much more comfortable than mine.



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written by shawn matthews    -|link

KLB - Hum Glum Hump Day


The day started pretty well. I stopped off at the post office and sent out 4 more copies of my book as well as one to the new Google Print program.

Then it started. I just missed the bus, and had to wait (yea, a whopping 5 minutes) for the next one which caused me to miss the express subway by seconds (usually have this down to a science). So I got the slow one and no seat as usual. I arrived to work 5 minutes late rather than 5 minutes early. No big deal. It takes 10 minutes before all the kids get there anyway.

Class A was just off the wall today. Not nosier than usual, just they wouldn't listen at all. I got kind of angry at Cathy because she just sits there watching them misbehave and doesn't do or say anything, even when I ask her directly. After class I said to her, "Cathy, when the kids are noisy and not paying attention, and when they don't know what's going on, why don't you do anything?" She told me that our boss doesn't want her to speak Korean in the class. I can understand that, sort-of, the parents may complain, but sometimes it's necessary and part of the reason she's there is to keep the kids in line. It's only with class A that I need her assistance. These are the youngest-mostly rotten little boys-and least inclined to learn. So then she said, "I can only speak Korean to translate for you." Well, I had been standing there telling the kids to be quiet and pay attention, trying to explain to them what I wanted them to do, and basically just getting frustrated yet she did nothing except sit there and doodle. I just may force her to fork up the moola for the book I gave her. (everyone calm down - that's a joke!)

When I do ask her to translate, she usually gets all flustered, then finally, if I can get her to understand what I want, she will do so, but very quickly and in a barely audible voice. On a side note, it's amazing how well the kids respond to anything said in Korean. I can understand why they get bored sometimes, usually on Mondays and Wednesdays when I'm required to teach them oddball conversations from English Time. (Today's lesson: "Achoo. Bless you. Thanks.") I can only imagine what it's like for them to sit there and listen to an alien speaking a different language every day for 40-50 minutes. Usually the worst day is on Thursday when I have to teach them their story books. They have to just "listen and repeat" a zillion times, and then I bite my cheek when they still are not able to remember "The man is nice" 5 seconds later. The other days aren't so bad as we do songs, games, and miscellaneous activities that keep their attention somewhat.

Anyway, enough about that. The next two classes were good as usual, especially Class B. Lovely little angels.

When I got home, it was hot and stuffy in our apartment, so I turned on the fan - broken! Then I sat down to check my e-mail. Julie told me the internet is down in our building until tomorrow. I don't like to watch TV much, so I figured I'd work on the cover of my next potential project, only to find that Adobe Photoshop wouldn't work. I uninstalled it and reinstalled it three times, shut down and restarted the computer 5 times, did a system restore, registry cleanup, etc, before I figured out that the problem was: one misplaced file that needed to be deleted. Computers are so fickle! By that time, I was sick of the damn thing and started to watch TV. But I soon got bored with that.

Now I'm sitting here at a PC bang surrounded by a throng of middle school kids playing games at full volume. I sure don't miss having to come to these places often.

I just checked my e-mail and found that Dave Sperling, the owner of the ESL Cafe website, sent me an e-mail with some suggestions on marketing my book, which I appreciated. Some things he mentioned were kind of a bummer. He said he never sold many of his own ESL books off his website, and he gets a zillion hits/day. Basically he said I need to find a publisher so they can market it. Maybe I'll send my book to some publishers in place of a manuscript and hope for the best, or perhaps toss everything in a big fire and laugh insanely as it all burns!

Thank you for reading. Have a nice day.



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written by shawn matthews    -|link

KLB - New Layout


I changed the layout a bit, including the flag. As for the homepage image - I just re-did the image that Hairy Chasms made for my blog. It's a symbolic image that some people will connect with.

In "reality," that's the dog that lived connected to that inhumanely short chain for the entire year that I lived in Nowhere-dong, the same dog that, strangely enough, appeared healthy and lived with a chicken. I miss coming home at night, after working out at the gym, and jumping over the concrete wall behind my place and hanging out with that dog, feeding her treats and petting her for awhile. I guess she probably misses me even more.

At the same time I don't miss seeing her suffer day-in and day-out. What a poor and pitiful existence. The owner came out once a day and threw chunks of leftovers at her. It took weeks of struggle before she pushed out that board and was able to see out the back just a bit. That's about as far as she could go out the front too.

Many nights I used to sit outside, in the late hours, and contemplate freeing her. I wish I did, looking back. I tried a few times, but the chain was so tightly attached, and when she realized what I was trying to do, she would get scared and retreat into her prison. Then again, thinking on it now, what would fate have broght if I did unhook the chain? Probably not a lot better. The whole affair - defintely not one of the highlights of my time in Korea.



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written by shawn matthews    -|link

KLB - Mundane Monday



It was a typical day today. Woke up, watched CNN for a bit, checked my e-mail, checked my comments, logged onto Yahoo messenger, read offline messages from my mother, took a shower, stopped at the post office to send out 11 copies of my book (one is going to the Korea Times for a review) and took a bus and a train to work. By now you must be thinking, "Wow! This is the best blog ever! I'm going to start my own blog this very minute!"


The kids have a test tomorrow based on the first two chapters of English Time, so I spent the day (3 hours) reviewing with each class and checking their workbooks and notebooks. My first class might not do well, the test is a lot of spelling, but the second two classes should shine. It's amazing the difference between classes. My first class is full of little boys who really aren't that bright, even if they are really young. I spend most of the class just trying to keep their attention.

The second class is completely opposite, full of little angelic girls who come in quietly, study their books before class begins, stare at me with their eager little bright eyes, do everything that I say, then thank me for teaching them before leaving.

The third class is a mix of pretty smart kids, mostly boys, with a couple of students that would be back in class A if they weren't too old. The smart kids are a little too full of energy. They raise their hands before I ask a question, often shout out the answers trying to out-do each other, sing the songs (English Time has really good ones and the kids love them) at ear screeching pitches, and are just overly excited in general. I changed their seats around today and they were much better, but I have to keep on them. Actually, I enjoy teaching all the classes, but class B is definitely my favorite. Up until middle school, girls are so quiet and polite.

It's amazing how much of a better teacher you can be when you only teach three classes. All teaching jobs should be like this. I don't think I've ever had a job I've enjoyed this much, one in which I have put forth such a genuine effort. Instead of counting down the seconds before the day is over, I enjoy being there. Today I felt a sense of pride when my students could recall almost everything I've taught them. I feel like I'm actually doing something worthwhile. I don't even need word-search puzzles anymore. What's happened to me?

After work, I stopped off to meet John in Yeokgok for a bit. I don't get all the hateful comments on his blog, because I've known him for a while now and he's an outgoing, good natured guy. We hung out all weekend and had a pretty good time including a delicious Mexican feast in Itaewon on Saturday. It was the first time I had anything Mexican in ages, since eating at Taco Hell a few years ago back home. We ate giant beef burritos and a plate of chicken enchiladas (sure wish I had my camera with me at the time). I don't like Itaewon that much, but I was there to drop off some copies of my book at the What the Book? store (which has a fantastic collection of cheap used English books) and John was in the area, so we met up. The best part about Itaweon is the great selection of foreign restaurants.

John's still staying in the cave-gwon, which is convenient for me as he's just four stops away on the subway, but he's found a job which starts November 1st in Kangnam. We had a beer and some dry squid, then John headed off to see a friend of his. I ate barbecued chicken-on-a-stick outside Songnae station, which was delicious, by the way. That has to be my favorite food-stall treat. I just got home a little while ago. And that concludes another action-packed update.




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written by shawn matthews    -|link