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volume 6, issue 48; Oct. 19-25, 2000
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ADRENALINE DRIVE -- (Grade: A) A hit at the New Directors/New Films festival earlier this year, Adrenaline Drive is a droll Japanese road comedy about two young lovers, a car crash and a suitcase full of money stolen from the Yakuza. Through this series of strange accidents, a meek nurse and a shy man turn into adventurous outlaws. Writer/director Shinobu Yaguchi (My Secret Cache, Down the Drain) unravels his screwball adventure in deadpan fashion. Most of Adrenaline Drive's charm lies with its nerdy couple. That's the key to any great screwball comedy: You have to connect with the slapstick targets. -- SR (Unrated.)

ALMOST FAMOUS -- (Grade: A) Writer/director Cameron Crowe coats Almost Famous, his heartfelt tale of teen rebellion, pubescent angst and 1970s Rock history, with sugary nostalgia and sweet sentimentality.

Almost Famous settles its story in 1973 with William (Patrick Fugit) stumbling his way onto an assignment for Rolling Stone magazine to cover the tour of a band called Stillwater. William can't help becoming friends with Stillwater's handsome lead guitarist, Russell Hammond (Billy Crudup), and falling in love with Stillwater groupie, Penny Lane (Kate Hudson). Fugit, Crudup, and Hudson infuse Almost Famous with some much needed heart and soul. It's clear that Crowe loves music too much not to make a movie that's human and personal. -- SR (Rated R.)

BEST in SHOW -- (Grade: B) Actor/director Christopher Guest returns with another winning, comic mockumentary. This time, Guest reunites most of his cast from his 1997 comedy, Waiting for Guffman, for a clever satire of championship dog shows.

Guest makes an on-camera appearance as Harlan Pepper, a fly-fishing shop owner from a small town in North Carolina, who comes to Philadelphia's Mayflower Dog Show with his bloodhound Hubert. But the best laughs belong to two of Best in Show's more eccentric couples. Gerry Fleck (Eugene Levy) and his blue-collar wife, Cookie (Catherine O'Hara), gush endlessly over their Norwich terrier. Not every joke hits its comic target in Guest's sprawling tale. That's to be expected from a film that's juggling such a large comic ensemble. Still, it's impressive just how funny Best in Show makes rivalry and fierce competition out to be. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE -- (Grade: F) Martin Lawrence makes for a believable big momma. Of course, that has more to do with the fat suit Lawrence wears throughout much of the film than his own comic abilities.

FBI agent Malcolm Turner (Lawrence) travels to a small town in Georgia in order to catch a bank robber. He stakes out the house of a southern granny who's about to be visited by a woman named Sherry (Nia Long) and her young son. Sherry is the bank robber's ex-girlfriend, so Turner expects his man to be close behind. His plans go awry when Big Momma leaves town. So it's up to Turner to remake himself "momma" in order protect Sherry and nab the bad guy.

Director Raja Gosnell never takes advantage of Lawrence's sassy personality. What's even more embarrassing is the lack of laughs despite a relentless barrage of gross-out gags. You know a film is in trouble when its best joke is an overweight woman wiggling her naked butt as she steps into the shower. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

BLESS THE CHILD -- (Grade: F) Kim Basinger turns out to be a laughable action heroine in this occult thriller about Maggie O'Conner, a blue-collar nurse trying to protect a six-year-old girl with supernatural powers from devil worshipers. A barrage of gory shocks fails to jump-start the film's Omen-inspired storytelling. In fact, most of the film's special-effects look surprisingly hokey. It's as if Bless the Child can do nothing right. Only Jimmy Smits manages to keep a serious face as a FBI expert on ritual murders. But instead of fighting Satanists, Smits needs to kick Basinger's behind. She's the true villain behind this awful mess. -- SR (Rated R.)

THE CELL -- (Grade: B) Few films capture the dreamlike state as vividly as director Tarsem Singh's The Cell. For Tarsem, a veteran director of music videos, The Cell is proof that he's capable of making a big-screen impact.

FBI agent Peter Novak (Vince Vaughn) is hot on the trail of a serial killer named Carl Stargher (Vincent D'Onofrio). The problem is that Stargher falls into a coma just as he's being captured. Enter Catherine Deane (Jennifer Lopez), a child therapist with the ability to enter the mind of the comatose killer. Novak needs Deane's help to find the whereabouts of Stargher's final victim who still might be alive.

Solid storytelling and well-drawn characters make The Cell a suspenseful ride. D'Onofrio combines body gestures and facial expressions into a physical performance of creepy proportions.

But The Cell rises on the shoulders of Lopez's compelling heroism. In the hands of someone else, the Deane character would have dissolved into a series of kinky costume changes. -- SR (Rated R.)

THE CONTENDER -- (Grade: A) The political intrigues come fast and furious in writer/director Rod Lurie's gripping, political thriller.

The vice president has died and President Jackson Evans (Jeff Bridges) decides to select a woman, Senator Laine Hanson (Joan Allen). It's a choice that offers the president's enemies plenty of political ammunition. A long-ago sexual scandal soon puts Hanson in jeopardy. In fact, Sen. Shelly Runyon (Gary Oldman), who heads the public confirmation hearings committee, intends to drag Hanson's name through the mud.

Lurie has a knack for political thrillers. The Contender is a suspenseful mix of spin doctoring, political ambushes and scandals. The resemblance to recent impeachment hearings is clear and intentional. Beltway politics are seldom portrayed so cynically. -- SR (Rated R.)

CHICKEN RUN -- (Grade: B) The voice of Mel Gibson brings the celebrity oomph, but the Claymation wizardry and sly comedy of directors Nick Park and Peter Lord make this childlike fantasy about a group of chickens determined to escape a poultry farm into a winning comedy. In a summer that's given us a new Fantasia, the digitized dinos of Dinosaur and the sci-fi battles of Titan A.E., it's Claymation chickens that prove to be completely irresistible. -- SR (Rated G.)

COYOTE UGLY -- (Grade: D) Action producer Jerry Bruckheimer fails to capture the Flashdance spark with this tale about sexy barmaids at a New York City bar called Coyote Ugly.

Newcomer Piper Perabo is 21-year-old Violet Sanford, an aspiring songwriter who peels away her stage fright and most of her clothes as a "coyote." Talk of Violet's drama would be foolish. Coyote Ugly is all about its gyrating barmaids and their wet leather outfits. Coyote Ugly isn't the worse film of the summer. Still, it's superficial enough to make T&A; look boring. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

DANCER IN THE DARK -- (Grade: A) The digital revolution, jump-started by Danish filmmaker Lars von Trier and his Dogme 95 movement, continues with a moment of pure, cinematic nostalgia.

It's 1962 and Selma (Björk) is a nearly blind Czech immigrant who's come to Washington state to start a new life with her young son, Gene. Elaborate musical daydreams are the only refuge Selma has from her hard-knock life as a factory worker. Bjork delivers a complex, yet childlike performance that's lifelike in its intensity.

Dancer in the Dark proves once and for all that von Trier and his ideas regarding Dogme 95 are the real thing. -- SR (Rated R.)

DIGIMON: THE MOVIe -- (Grade: C) Back in my day, cartoons were simple. Cat chases mouse. Superhero whomps evil genius. I don't know if today's kids are smarter than we were or if cartoon makers just throw more information at them, but "children's movies" like Digimon are baffling.

Follow this (if you can): The DigiDestined kids embark on a mission to conquer a dark force that puts both the DigiWorld and the real world in great danger. The DigiWorld, by the way, is a cyber-world most people can not see. Only the DigiDestined kids, who lead secret double-lives, can do it. Helping them along the way are Digimon, the pets they hatched from computer-generated eggs. But the Digimon digivolve into monsters, begin wreaking havoc and then film turns into a big digimess.

And people thought Fantasia was drug-induced? -- RP (Rated PG.)

DINOSAUR -- (Grade: B) Disney's first shot at in-house computer animation is impressive. Computer animation blended with digitally enhanced live backgrounds make you believe that you are watching dinosaurs roam the earth.

Aladar (voice of D.B. Sweeney) is the hero of this 65-million-years-ago tale. He's an Iguanodon raised by lemurs after his egg has its own spectacular adventure. Fallout from an asteroid forces Aladar and friends to hit the road with a pack of dinosaurs in search of a new home. Its cutting-edge technology aside, Dinosaur tells a trademark Disney tale about an orphan searching for his true family. The film's story might be familiar but its prehistoric creatures come to life in ways you'd never imagine. -- SR (Rated PG.)

DISNEY'S THE KID -- (Grade: B) Disney's The Kid is a heartwarming comedy that thrives on Bruce Willis and his wise-guy charms.

Willis dives headfirst into the role of a rude, obnoxious, arrogant image consultant Russ Duritz. He huffs and puffs in comic fashion as a stressed-out workaholic in a power suit and headset. The problem is 40-year-old Duritz is beginning to see hallucinations of himself as a chubby, geeky 8-year-old boy, Rusty (Spencer Breslin). A climactic clash between childhood innocence and adult priorities swerves into X-Files territory.

Screenwriter Audrey Wells' knack for storytelling makes the film into something more than another dumb Disney farce. The relationship between Duritz and the 8-year-old Rusty is rich. When Willis flashes his knowing smirk, The Kid leaps to life. -- SR (Rated PG.)

DOLPHINS -- (Grade: C) Spotted dolphins, bottlenose dolphins and dusky dolphins are the heroes of the latest IMAX adventure. These dolphins display a spunky personality that puts 3-D T-Rexes and whales to shame. Dolphins delivers what we expect from these Omnimax adventures: stunning landscape footage, user-friendly science info and a positive message for saving the environment. Robert D. Lindner Family OMNIMAX Theater, Cincinnati Museum Center, Queensgate. 513-287-7000. -- SR (Unrated.)

DR. T AND THE WOMEN -- (Grade: D) There is no doubt that Robert Altman is a significant contributor to what we consider the American New Wave and the golden age of 1970s cinema. But after watching Dr. T and the Women, an aimless, social comedy that never manages to say much about anything, it's fair to assume that Altman's best work might be behind him.

Dr. Sully Travis (Richard Gere), better known as "Dr. T" to his Dallas friends, runs one of the city's most popular O/Gyn practices. Travis is a man who clearly loves women. The problem is that his wife Kate (Farrah Fawcett) is turning distant and emotionally unstable.

Gere is perfectly cast as the film's handsome lothario. The comic stumbles occur around the ensemble of bimbos that Altman uses to fill his Dallas landscape. It's astounding how every one of Dr. T's women -- with the rare exception of a golf pro played by Helen Hunt -- turns out to be ditzy, shopping fanatics. This army of nervous women never manages to be very funny. -- SR (Rated R.)

THE EXORCIST: THE VERSION YOU'VE NEVER SEEN BEFORE -- (Grade: B) This re-release of William Friedkin's Director's Cut offers an opportunity for some moviemade memory games. Much of The Exorcist is familiar, although 11 minutes of extra footage promises a new jolt or two. The six track digital sound and additional sound effects give an audible boost to the film's famous jolts. Now, the growls and groans from behind little Regan's bedroom door come at you from every direction. -- SR (Rated R.)

GONE IN 60 SECONDS -- (Grade: F) Things never looked this bad. Nicolas Cage's distinct presence and charisma are squashed by the dull road play of this film. To save the butt of his brother, "Memphis" Raines (Cage) is pulled back into the grand theft auto business. With the help of an old mentor (Robert Duvall) and his car-thieving posse, Memphis must complete an impossible task: steal 50 high-end cars in three days.

Unfortunately, this challenge never becomes more than a collection of action sequences and explosions. You never feel like you've learned the secrets of grand theft auto and not one stunt falls into the how-did-they-do-that? category. There is never one adrenaline-pumped moment. The result is the most boring tire-squealing ever put on film. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

MEET THE PARENTS -- (Grade: B) Robert De Niro plays Jack Byrnes, an ex-CIA operative who faces off against his daughter Pam's (Teri Polo) anxious boyfriend Greg Focker (a twitchy Ben Stiller) in the funny and fast-paced screwball comedy Meet the Parents.

Director Jay Roach (Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery) finds the perfect comic foil in Stiller. It's impressive how he fumbles everything he touches in such believable fashion. But the true comic kingpin behind Meet the Parents is De Niro himself. Never has one dramatic actor turned his deadpan expression into a rich comic asset. Meet the Parents is the first movie comedy to figure out how to make Robert De Niro's tough-guy personality seem funny. -- SR (PG-13.)

NUTTY PROFESSOR II: THE KLUMPS -- (Grade: D) Eddie Murphy's comic spunk can't salvage this lifeless return of mild-mannered Professor Sherman Klump. This time, Sherman's laboratory shenanigans involve a youth serum invented by his pretty fiancée, Janet Jackson. Sherman is still tubby, but his devilish alter ego Buddy Love (also Murphy) receives little screen time. In this sequel, Murphy stays busy playing all of the family Klump. Murphys make-up effects comedy loses steam after a barrage of Viagra jokes. This Klump family reunion needed to be more than just a one-joke show about male impotence. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

THE ORIGINAL KINGS OF COMEDY -- (Grade: B) A typical Spike Lee joint takes the issue of racism, wraps it in a joke and blows it up in your face until everyone in the theater is fairly uncomfortable with it.

Four black comics -- Steve Harvey, D. L. Hughley, Cedric "The Entertainer" and Bernie Mac -- toured the country with their stand-up comedy show. Harvey is comic gold as the emcee. His bits about how black people would have reacted on the Titanic and his "devotion" song are priceless. The other comics' material, bemoaning the death of "old-school" music and abusive grandparents, overlap too much to sustain momentum. Undoubtedly, this film won't pull in a large white audience. It's too bad, because good jokes are fun for everyone. -- RP (Rated R.)

THE PATRIOT -- (Grade: B) Mel Gibson tackles Stars and Stripes patriotism in charismatic fashion. Gibson plays Benjamin Martin, a South Carolina farmer who joins the Revolutionary War to fight against the British.

Director Roland Emmerich (Independence Day, Godzilla and Stargate) milks this moviemade history lesson for ample melodramatic hokum. Special-effects-driven battle scenes color the adventure in blood red. It helps that Gibson faces a worthy villain in the vicious Col. William Tavington (Jason Isaacs). After all, a screen hero is only as interesting as his adversary. - SR (Rated R.)

REMEMBER THE TITANS -- (Grade: C) Beware of films that immediately spell out their claims for authenticity. When the words "Based on a True Story" flash across the screen ---as is the case with director Boaz Yakin's 1970s football drama, Remember the Titans -- there is something conniving about its blatant attempt to come across as earnest and true.

The story begins in 1971 at newly integrated T.C. Williams High School in Virginia and it's Coach Herman Boone's (Denzel Washington) job to calm racial tensions, as well as win football games. Washington's powerful lead performance as the tyrannical coach gives the film a much-needed emotional boost. Anyone else and the film would have been forgettable. -- SR (Rated PG.)

SAVING GRACE -- (Grade: B) Grace Trevethan (Brenda Blyehyn), a Cornwall widow with financial problems, uses gardening talents to save herself from financial ruin. With the help of her hippyish gardener, Matthew (Craig Ferguson), Grace plants a greenhouse full of marijuana. Of course, the comical dilemma is to keep her newfound status as a coastal town drug lord under wraps from the town eccentrics.

Cole fills Saving Grace with plenty of broad gags. An outdated white pantsuit turns Blethyn into a middle-aged version of Superfly. When a flick of the sun lamps turns Grace's greenhouse into a homemade aurora borealis, you can't help but laugh out loud. Still, by the film's farcical climax, it's clear that Blethyn has taken hold of the film with a gentler version of reefer madness. -- SR (Rated R.)

SCARY MOVIE -- (Grade: D) Two separate scripts, Scream If You Know What I Did Last Halloween and Last Summer I Screamed Because Friday the 13th Fell on Halloween collide in director Keenen Ivory Wayans ultra-gross send-up of the Scream genre. A couple of outrageous gags breathe some much needed farce into Wayans' cookie-cutter parody. The jokes are of the bodily fluid variety. The most admirable thing about Scary Movie is its unashamed enthusiasm for pushing the boundaries of taste, but it's not long before the gags grow further and further apart. -- SR (Rated R.)

THE WATCHER -- (Grade: C) Not every serial killer movie can be Seven. It tarnished the experience for every thriller to follow. Of course, we said that about Silence of the Lambs, so there is hope for another great one. The Watcher isn't it. Detective Joel Campbell (James Spader) is trying desperately to leave his sad past behind, moving to Chicago from LA to distance himself from a killer (Keanu Reeves) who got too close. His past is coming back to greet him. Don't blame the cast. Spader, abandoning his trademark smarm, is convincingly battered and broken. And Reeves, while not great, doesn't stink up the joint. Instead, blame an uneven script and inconsistent direction. Director Joe Charbanic couldn't decide if he wanted to make a slick hip-hop crime thriller or a dark, minimal one. Only when it hits its stride, in those deadline moments before a killing, does The Watcher become fairly watchable. -- RP (Rated R.)

WHAT LIES BENEATH -- (Grade: D) Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer lend marquee pizzazz to this haunted house suspenser, What Lies Beneath. But the film's greatest mystery lies with a stumbling climax that best resembles a cheap slasher movie.

Dr. Norman Spencer (Ford) is a respected university researcher who's seldom home. His wife Claire (Pfeiffer) gave up her career to become a housewife and raise their daughter in Vermont. Now, with the daughter off to college, Claire is beginning to hear unexplained noises in the old, lakeside house.

What Lies Beneath is filled with all the scary movie essentials: creepy music, dark lake waters, fog, a spacious house. So it's disappointing how it dissolves into a banal fit of domestic violence. The emotional breakdown of a married couple is a worthy backdrop for a supernatural thriller, but What Lies Beneath cheats audiences with its slasher-movie sensibilities. It's a cheap payoff for a movie boasting this kind of talent. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)

WOMAN ON TOP -- (Grade: D) With a title like this, you just expect more. Instead, what you get is a fairly innocent fairy tale with a lot of promise and very little payoff.

The saving grace? The raw beauty and charisma of Penélope Cruz. Control-freak Isabella Oliveira (Cruz) leaves her native Brazil to start a new life after she catches her soul-mate in the arms of another woman. She moves to San Francisco and quickly hits the big-time as the surprise star of Passion Food a televised cooking show.

Cruz somehow rises above the thick layer of schmaltz that settles on this film. But when the best thing you can say about a film is that its female star has a promising future, you know it might not be worth your while. -- RP (Rated R.)

X-MEN -- (Grade: B) Teen angst reaches a fever pitch when a girl's first kiss violently thrusts her boyfriend into a coma. It's director Bryan Singer's ambitious way of making X-Men come alive with more than the typical superhero action.

A group of mutant superheroes and their leader, Professor Charles Xavier (Patrick Stewart) battle Xavier's former friend, Magneto (Ian McKellen) and his evil mutant squad to seize control of the world from humanity. With the help of two newcomers, Rogue (Anna Paquin) and Wolverine (Hugh Jackman), Xavier leads his outcast X-Men in a war to save mankind.

X-Men is ultimately a story about kids and their desire to be accepted. Adolescent angst and superhero fascination is what drives this surprising costume actioner. -- SR (Rated PG-13.)


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