DAMN, IT'S COLD!!!

but almost there...just gotta hold on for a few more days...almooost there!

 
...thank you santa!!! (santa my ass - i paid for it myself!)

[i can't wait anymore!!! brrrrrrr]

grumblegrumble...

you can call me bob. bob cratchit...minus the wife and kids, minus tiny tim, and though he can pile on the work, my boss really isn't a scrooge since he always springs for coffee and dinner when i work weekends...

but still.

i looked at my sched tonight (yah, and i just got home at 3am - missing yet another christmas party...and this one was supposed to be a 'dress-up' formal one (i like getting spiffed up)...with lotsa lady lawyers!...hmm, dunno if the latter's really a good thing...although i guiltily must admit that i ended up rooting for the lawyer jen - on the final episode of the apprentice - because she was torn apart by the audience) anyhow, as i was saying...i looked at my sched to find that they've asked me to work (chained me to my desk) up until the very last day before i'm supposed to leave for my trip.

but-but-but i wanted to catch up with friends who i hadn't seen all year because i was busy with the play! and i wanted to watch blade:trinity/the incredibles/finding neverland/closer et. al.!, and i wanted to go clubbing with my dancer friend since we'd been trying to make plans since summer! and i wanted to organize a holiday hotpot party for everyone in the theatre company! - and i! - and i!...sigh...i guess i should be happy with all the extra billable hours seeing as to how i won't be working for an entire month...hmph.

okay no more griping (at least for this entry). instead i shall fill your page with random ramblings until either you or i fall asleep (i have to be back at the office by 10 to let my two new trainees in - yah, on top of helping with the strategic plan, i'm helping train new staff...oops, no griping)...

- i still haven't bought my luggage yet (yay procrastinator!)...i spent friday afternoon trying to decide on this hip looking pullman that can convert into a backpack or a basic but larger pullman suitcase. i'm a notorious over-packer...when i went to europe, i left a ton of clothes at my friend's place in london because i had packed way too much and still had 5/6ths of my trip to go (paris/rome/nice/cannes/amsterdam...ooh, so much fun just remembering it!) but i'm gonna try to be good this time - i won't pack the tuxedo.

- at the luggage store, i noticed the manager was someone i went to highschool with. i resisted the urge to talk to her (in hopes of perhaps getting a discount) because i was feeling introverted at the time. been feeling like that alot lately.

 - do you know how hard it is to find a stylish/rugged pair of flip flops in Canada in December?

- you see some pretty interesting things in the city on the way to your parking lot at the 3 in the morning...i passed a late night coffee shop that was all but empty except for what looked like a homeless man and a transvestite chatting quietly over coffee. the reason why i couldn't help but take notice was the fact that it was a really bad attempt at looking like a woman as far as the transvestite was concerned. he/she had this giant wig of long, curly, pale blonde hair that sat somewhat askew his/her head, and wore bright blue eyeshadow and deep red lipstick that looked practically smeared on.

what am i doing? i'm critiquing a crossdresser!? i'll stop here. 

mind you, i couldn't help but wonder what they were talking about. because the imagery of this somewhat peculiar looking pair radiated a powerful sense of longing, of bittersweet sadness, of needing someone, anyone to talk to as the night gets colder and the wind begins to howl down the barren city streets...

...i think i just depressed myself.

finally.

The Toronto Raptors have traded Wince Carter.

Now time to ditch the stanky Rose...

in my continuing dance with insomnia, i fell into a sudden and deep sleep on the sofa some time around 11pm, but then awoke again around 2 in the morning.

i decided to move to the comfort of my bed, but the ensuing journey across cold floors and the chill of my sheets (i almost wrote duvet, but duvet just doesn't sound manly enough so i didn't write it - but then added it here because i just can't keep any secrets from you, can i?) left me wide awake staring out into the darkness. after 45 minutes or so of restless tossing and turning, i figured i may as well give up on the hope that i was gonna return any time soon to sleepytime station (aww, this entry's turning into a children's book!) so i decided i may as well quell one of the urges i'd been carrying for the past few days.

urge you say? what happened to the wholesome goodness of sleepytime? read on, read on...

i headed back downstairs, fired up the tv and dvd player and popped in...(cue saxophone and bass guitar) (?!?)...my chinatown special bootleg dvd of wong kar wai's - days of being wild. sorry no porn with saxophones and bass guitars (!?!) tonight my friends (come back on saturday!).

yeah, days of being wild. one of wong kar wai's earlier films with one of the coolest movie titles ever (the best movie title belonging to the classic 'hello mary lou - prom night II' ).

four primary reasons why i felt the urge to watch dobw again:
(note, the film is loosely structured and can be somewhat languorous - so not for all tastes)
i) the opening love and falling out of love scenes with leslie cheung and (mmm)maggie cheung;
ii) to listen to the great bossa nova song that's used in this movie (he also uses bossa nova, well all kinds of music, masterfully in his other films, such as in the mood for love - a film i loooove);
iii) to admire the nascent collaborative work of wai and his cinematographer christopher doyle (since this is the first time they worked together); and finally
iv) to stare in an almost dreamlike state at the opening and closing scenes that drift silently through miles and miles of dark, steamy, verdant jungles in the philippines.

that last point may be connected to one (of many) reasons why sleep evades me again. you see, i'm headed back to the philippines for vacation in just a handful of days. back to the country i was born - and never returned to since having left at the age of 4...until now.

birthplace. homeland. separation. return.               anticipation.

anticipation of what? a land quite foreign to me having grown-up in Canada, with names and images of people and places that shuffle past the shadowy periphery of my earliest memories...and yet still remains a large part of me through the traditions and values transferred via my parents who have filled my life with all that is beautiful and meaningful about their culture...which is in turn a part of my own culture.

and so the images of a distant past, a home that lies across the oceans flicker on-screen. call out and whisper...discovery...rediscovery...reunion.

this should be interesting.

thanks to the wonders of satellite television...

...you really know it's time to get to bed...

...when the Late Show with David Letterman...

...is playing in Vancouver.

but i wake, i write (waste time on xanga).
[up late 'cause i had to stay late at work then had to complete two design deadlines when i got home]
[not to mention wasted an hour watching The Amazing Race - that show's the t.v. equivalent of crack i tell ya!]

speaking of work, i'm totally overwhelmed right now with The Firm's 2005 strategic planning prep...luckily i'll be on vacation when the session rolls-out early January...it's a friggin' 14+ hour day strategizing hyperbole...zzzzz

in the midst of stratego plandido - i find out one guy's salary has been bumped up - way up - recently (to $150G's a year) because the company thought he was thinking of quitting and didn't wanna lose him. 

dammit, maybe i should threaten to quit...so they can say "Oh, ok...see ya". 

and no, i make nowhere near that guy's salary in my current in-and-out full/part/no-time state (though I should!...at the very least get some sort of bonus for always being asked to emmcee the company's christmas luncheon...like a candy cane or sumthin'...).

anyhow, i plan to make my money doing what i really love...

speaking of which - i'm currently reading Robert Rodriguez's - Rebel Without a Crew...and hungrily, enviously slobbering over the pages where he recounts his journey toward becoming a writer/director (of Desperado, Spy Kids fame). That guy rocks - and he's currently working on the film adaptation of Frank Miller's Sin City - probably my most anticipated film to watch, to date (check out the hot cast).

+

oh - also in the midst of tightening up the script for BananaBoys - dunno if i've updated you here (because you're all probably sick of hearing about it)...but the play was invited (it seems as one in only eleven chosen from across the country!?!) as an official entry of the 2005 Magnetic North National Theatre Festival! woah, this is the first time i checked the website and it looks really exciting! Congrats BB-Team! not bad for our first full production, eh?! (yah, i threw in the 'eh' for cancon [canadian content] purposes)

+

someone just e-mailed and asked me to be a speaker at a Career Conference. my advice to those who want to pursue a career in acting/writing/theatre/film?

don't do it.

why? because there's too much suffering, too many sacrifices and the rest of the world just wants to bring you down or at the very least, put you down.

and i'll say that because if you hear all that negative advice and still say -

"I don't care. I believe in myself and I don't give a shit about what you think."

then you've taken an integral step on your way...

...mind you, that's just one of the first of many. heh-heh. (sigh)

ok. Dave just said good night on the west coast...

g'night.