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WHAT AN ASSTRO!
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By MARK HALE
January 13, 2004 --
Seventy-eight days. That's how long retirement lasted for Roger Clemens.
Calling it "great to come home," the Rocket officially blasted back into baseball yesterday, signing a one-year, $5 million deal with his hometown Astros.
The 41-year-old Clemens, a native Texan, was lured out of quasi-retirement to pitch near home and join buddy Andy Pettitte in the Astros' rotation. Of course, all of that will be of little solace to broken-hearted Yankee fans who may view Clemens' return as a betrayal after he insisted all year that he was done.
Full story
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FAMILY MAN:
Roger Clemens poses with wife Debbie and children (clockwise from right) Koby, Kody, Kacy and Kory at press conference announcing he was ending 78-day retirement to sign one-year, $5 million deal with Astros.
- Getty Images
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 SHOULD HAVE KNOWN BETTER THAN TO TRUST THIS RAT
WE knew better, dammit. That's what's so galling. We spotted Roger Clemens from eight miles away. We'd seen him pour kerosene all over his Boston exit, never once thanking fans who'd invested 13 years in him. We'd seen how he strong-armed his way out of Toronto.
 HE OWES YANKS NOTHING
CALM down, Yankee fans. Roger Clemens didn't owe you another year, he doesn't owe his old teammates a Hummer - that was for his 300th win - and he doesn't owe anything to George Steinbrenner or those members of the media who feel they've been lied to because Clemens insisted this past season was the end of his Hall of Fame line.
 NO FAVORITE SUN
HOOP DU JOUR SEVERING $119 million from Phoenix' burnt books by exporting Stephon Marbury (and throw-in Penny Hardaway, whose near-perfect production in two straight games is sheer throwback) to New York apparently isn't enough to justify suitcasing the season before it's half over.
 DON DESERVES BETTER THAN THIS
IT wasn't a full workout Isiah Thomas put Stephon Marbury and selected Knicks through after the shoot-around yesterday morning, just enough for Don Chaney to work up a sweat. Chaney's terse "no comment," far from "I appreciate Isiah's input," was a giveaway more blatant than any ever committed by Chris Childs.
WHITEY: CLEMENS' LEGACY TAINTED
By MICHAEL MORRISSEY and ANDREW MARCHAND
Whitey Ford stated what others in the Yankees universe wouldn't: Roger Clemens sullied his legacy by coming out of retirement yesterday.
CLARK GETS 750G DEAL FROM YANKS
By MARK HALE
It was a pretty simple decision for Tony Clark to join the Yankees, and it basically went like this:
OVERTIME OUTCRY
By MARC BERMAN
Mavericks 127 - Knicks 121 (OT) Not even a miracle regulation finish, an offensive explosion from Stephon Marbury and an earsplitting Garden could prevent another loss and another round of "Fire Chaney" chants last night.
ISIAH LENDS 'HELPING HAND' AT PRACTICE
By MARC BERMAN
Isiah Thomas put on his coaching hat yesterday, if only for 15 minutes. But despite his impromptu instructional drill with five Knick players, including Stephon Marbury, at yesterday's morning shootaround, Isiah quickly defused speculation he's considering taking over as head coach but said he wouldn't declare Chaney would remain head coach the rest of the season.
CUBAN'S NO KURT FAN
By MARC BERMAN
KNICK NOTES Although there has been speculation the Mavericks are going to make a bid for Kurt Thomas before the Feb. 19 trading deadline (after which he becomes a free agent), Dallas owner Mark Cuban didn't seem overly enthused about the Knick power forward.
FORTUNATE KIDD BACK ON COURT
By DAN MARTIN
Jason Kidd looked fine yesterday, directing the Nets' offense during practice and calmly draining jumpers.
HEY, GLEN - ANALYZE THIS
By LARRY BROOKS
Joe Torre, just as every baseball manager extant, sits in the dugout and makes batter-by-batter strategic decisions based on past performance numbers. The same kinds of databases don't quite exist in the more collective sport of hockey, but there are some stats that clearly apply.
NEW ISLE: I'M NOT RONNING ON EMPTY
By EVAN GROSSMAN
Cliff Ronning, a veteran of 17 NHL seasons, knows he can't play forever. After he was unsigned as a free agent at the beginning of the season, the 38-year old playmaker could tell that the end of his career might have been nearer than he expected, yet he held out hope that an NHL team eventually would come calling.
BRODEUR SEEKS NO. 10
By EVAN GROSSMAN
Martin Brodeur will be looking for his 10th shutout of the season tonight when the Devils host Ottawa in a rematch of last spring's Eastern Finals, which the Devils won in seven games. Since then, the Devils have won both meetings with the Senators this year, allowing only one goal through both of those games.
BUCS' MARINELLI CAN'T TALK TO JETS
By MARK CANNIZZARO
The Jets' pursuit of Rod Marinelli ended yesterday when the Buccaneers refused to give them permission to interview him for their vacant defensive coordinator position.
EAGLES OUT TO SHED PLAYOFF ALBATROSS
By PAUL SCHWARTZ
There's a part of history the Eagles want no part of. No team has hosted and lost a conference title game in back-to-back seasons. That's the ignominious prospect awaiting the Eagles if they don't beat the Panthers on Sunday in the NFC Championship game at Lincoln Financial Field.
FRIARS ESCAPE HALL OF A NIGHTMARE
By LENN ROBBINS
Providence 63 - Seton Hall 60 If ever there were a team that should know that when you play with fire you get burned, it's the Providence Friars.
RICE STAR FINALLY HEALTHY
By DAN MARTIN
Russell Robinson hardly ever got sick until this year. "I've been to the doctor four times since September," said the 6-2 senior from Rice, who signed with Kansas but hadn't played particularly well this season. "And they could never tell me what's wrong."
JONES, SHOT PUT ADD ZIP TO MILLROSE MEET
By BRIAN LEWIS
After Pro Sports & Entertainment Inc. bought the Millrose Games three months ago, it has tried to spice up the venerable meet. From pyrotechnics to music to kids' races to the winners taking victory laps through the stands, the Feb. 6 meet promises to be lively.
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