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Kristanna Loken plays killer robot T-X, the deadly
nemesis to Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator in
director Jonathan Mostow's Terminator 3: Rise of the
Machines.
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Two striking blonde actresses have all the fun in a pair of summertime franchise films competing this Fourth of July weekend. Both women -- Hollywood darling Reese Witherspoon and Norwegian newcomer Kristanna Loken -- sparkle, although in entirely different performances. Witherspoon aims for slapstick laughs by reprising her Legally Blonde character, perky Harvard Law student Elle Woods, now a lawyer in Washington, D.C., on a crusade to stop animal testing.
Across the multiplex, Loken wields flame-throwers and a speeding crane as the shapely T-X, a killer robot from the future who battles Arnold Schwarzenegger's Terminator in an attempt to assassinate future freedom fighters, John Connor (Nick Stahl) and Kate Brewster (Claire Danes), in Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, the latest sequel to the popular sci-fi movie series.
Witherspoon and Loken are eye-catching, but they suffer from unimaginative movies with half their spark.
As Woods, Witherspoon flashes a toothy grin that's in complete synchronicity with her wiggling hips. She's sexy and sweet, overly bubbly, but still likable. Woods may look like a grown-up Barbie doll but she packs personality and smarts beneath her super healthy hair.
Woods is the rare comic character who's worthy of a movie franchise, but Legally Blonde 2 is not up to Witherspoon's screwball pizzazz. Just because Woods watches the 1939 Frank Capra social-message drama, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington, for inspiration doesn't mean director Charles Herman-Wurmfeld needs to adopt Capra's serious moral tone for Legally Blonde 2's self-important finale. Herman-Wurmfeld hit all the right notes in the enjoyable girl-meets-girl romance Kissing Jessica Stein, but he's only halfway successful with Legally Blonde 2. Novice screenwriter Kate Kondell understands the fish-out-of-water format inherent to the Legally Blonde myth and has plenty of worthy material by casting Woods to the cruel world of Washington politics. Legally Blonde 2 has big-picture potential. Its goofy plot about Woods trying to get a bill passed makes comic sense. But Herman-Wurmfeld and Kondell never capitalize on the film or Witherspoon's potential. The missed opportunities are as frequent as its gags.
Woods is a character meant to have outlandish fun, and Legally Blonde 2 is at its comical best when reality is tossed out the window for outlandish parades like the Million Dog March, an impromptu cheerleader routine inside the U.S. Capitol Building and colorful costume changes that claim every shade of pink imaginable.
Luke Wilson gives a subtle, steady performance as Elle's understanding fiancé, but Witherspoon runs circles around him. Wilson is too deadpan to qualify as a credible love interest.
Bob Newhart is deadpan-perfect as the politically savvy doorman at Woods' Washington apartment building. Jennifer Coolidge makes the most of her brief scenes as Woods' devoted manicurist, Paulette. Sally Field gives a straightforward, dependable performance as Congressman Rudd, whom Woods considers her role model and idol.
Since her 1995 debut, Witherspoon has appeared in enough bad dramas (Fear, Best Laid Plans and Cruel Intentions) and an equal helping of bouncy comedies (Election, Pleasantville and Legally Blonde) to convince me that comedy is her forte. She's a natural clown, as adept as Cameron Diaz when it comes to physical slapstick, although Witherspoon never needs to resort to fanny slapping for laughs like Diaz. Witherspoon tempers her curvy sexiness with little girl innocence and the combination works perfectly with the frilly heroine Woods.
As Woods, Witherspoon sports a stylish hairdo, a French manicure and a pink Chanel suit that's a throwback to Jacqueline Kennedy. The jokes are comfortably good-natured thanks to her dead-on delivery. Her razor-sharp performance as a class president candidate in Election helped make the film a modern comedy classic. If Legally Blonde 2 offered Witherspoon a little more storytelling gusto, there's no telling the heights she might have taken it.
Schwarzenegger returns as the robot villain-turner hero, Terminator, for director Jonathan Mostow's by-the-numbers sequel Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, but it's Loken who deserves all the attention. She's the only blast of newness in a movie that repeats the key plot from its previous installment.
Future rebel leader John Connor (Stahl) is now 25 and reunites with the Terminator against T-X (Loken), a state-of-the-art cyborg assassin who takes the form of a beautiful blonde woman. Armageddon hangs on Connor's survival, but Mostow and screenwriters John Brancato and Michael Ferris (working from a story by Tedi Sarafian) fail to generate one credible surprise in the film. Terminator 3 is a movie we've watched before with a few fast-paced fight sequences tossed into the mix.
Stahl is surprisingly earnest as Connor, even when outlandish car chases and gargantuan explosions swirl around him. Stahl takes Terminator 3 seriously, which is the last thing you want from a lead actor in a pulpy action movie.
Claire Danes falls into the same rut playing veterinarian Kate Brewster, a fiancée who's more involved in Connor's life then she realizes. Danes makes Brewster strong-willed and smart, but there's no denying the faux seriousness she and Stahl bring to the movie. She delivers her dialogue with emotional tension no matter how inane the words are.
Danes, last seen in supporting roles in the dramas Igby Goes Down and The Hours, and Stahl, best known for the family drama In the Bedroom, offer plenty of human emotion, but Terminator 3 has no use for it. Terminator 3 is an escapist film, a good-time, roller-coaster ride, and the point of the matter is that the solemn Stahl and dead-earnest Danes often stand in the way of having fun.
Schwarzenegger understands the comedy behind the Terminator story, and he pokes fun at his iconic robot character with ease. He tries on a pair of outlandish sunglasses, is mistaken at a roadside bar for a naked stripper, and delivers his monosyllabic dialogue with gusto.
Schwarzenegger has grown comfortable with the Terminator character, and his natural performance throughout the film is an appreciated bonus.
Loken has even less dialogue than Schwarzenegger. Her performance revolves around an icy stare, long legs, a severe blonde bob and an insatiable appetite for destruction. Mostow wisely puts Loken at the center of the film's best action scenes, and her leggy presence is equal to the fireworks. A clash between the Terminator and T-X outside a suburban animal hospital leads to a fiery chase between a crane and a veterinarian truck through flipping cars and police sedans that drive themselves.
Actually there is a second surprise in Terminator 3 beyond Loken's silent villainy. Its explosions and car crashes are refreshingly quaint, a simpler batch of special effects than the digitized fantasies found in other summertime action movies like The Hulk and The Matrix Reloaded. Watching Terminator 3 makes one feel like it's 1985 all over again, when a truck explosion was considered sufficiently surprising. Terminator 3 has the cheesy feel of a Planet of the Apes sequel, a B-movie that forces its director to be creative with limited resources.
Mostow, responsible for forgettable adventures like Breakdown and U-571, fails to make Terminator 3 the modern-day B-action movie I've been craving to see. Still, he's smart enough to make Loken the star of the film, and I'm grateful for that.
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
CityBeat grade: C.
Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines
CityBeat grade: D.
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