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Michael Clarke Duncan offers a strong physical
presence as Attar, though Planet of the Apes
proves to be a lackluster adventure film.
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In blockbuster adventures like director Tim Burton's reinterpretation of Franklin Schaffner's 1968 sci-fi film, Planet of the Apes, the villain always gets the better clothes. That's certainly the case with Apes villain, General Thade (Tim Roth). Black leather armor covers his hairy ape chest. A pair of leather chaps protects his legs. On his head rests a conical metal helmet that slopes away from his forehead.
These ape costumes are the true stars of Burton's remake. It's the one thing that's an undeniable improvement over the 1968 film. In Burton's version of Pierre Boulle's novel, Monkey Planet, clothes really do make the man, as well as the monkey.
So it's significant that Apes hero, astronaut Leo Davidson (Mark Wahlberg), runs through the film with a dirty and ragged jumpsuit on his back. Wahlberg may play the civilized hero in Burton's Apes remake, but you wouldn't know it from the nondescript clothes he wears as the marooned astronaut. Davidson possesses none of Thade's eye-catching style. If Davidson didn't jabber constantly throughout the movie, he'd probably fade into the background. As it stands, Wahlberg steps forward as one of the most vacant screen heroes seen in recent years. Granted, Wahlberg doesn't deserve all the blame for the meandering and uneventful Apes. Watching this busted blockbuster shows Burton incapable of directing a straightforward action movie.
I've said many times before that Burton is the one director who gets Hollywood blockbusters. He pushes the boundaries of special-effects moviemaking. He understands that such larger-than-life fantasies require fantastic characters like a Batman or an Edward Scissorhands. More importantly, Burton is capable of uniting film artistry with commercial sensibilities, and that's not something you can say about other directors of sequels like Joe Johnston (Jurassic Park III) and Stephen Sommers (The Mummy Returns).
The awful Apes won't stop me from admiring Burton. Every prolific filmmaker stumbles one time or another. But I have to admit that nothing prepared me for a lackluster adventure tale like Burton's Apes remake. The last must-see blockbuster of the summer has turned out to be a familiar story lost amid a vast desert location and an army of gorilla extras.
I'm not willing to say that the reported, last-minute tinkering on the film is to blame for its failures. Still, it's clear that additional time would have allowed Burton the opportunity to tighten the storytelling. As it stands, Apes is an action blockbuster that doesn't seem to know what to do or where to go.
In a videotaped interview used to promote the film, Burton says his version of Planet of the Apes will stay close to the cynical spirit of Pierre Boulle's novel. But none of Boulle's political commentary about ecology, colonialism and social justice is evident in Burton's Apes. Astronaut Davidson's (Wahlberg) trip to monkeyville follows in the footsteps of Charlton Heston's original time-traveling hijinks. After crash-landing his spacecraft on the junglelike planet, Davidson leads the enslaved natives in an uprising against their ape masters.
There are few similarities with the 1968 film. Davidson does not see the Statue of Liberty poking through a beach at the film's climax, although there is a clever homage to Heston's most famous line from the original movie. Burton's apes live in a dark, treetop village instead of a more modern city. The well-known characters from the 1968 film, Zira, Cornelius and Dr. Zaius, are nowhere to be found. Instead, Burton's remake offers Helena Bonham Carter in the role of the benevolent chimpanzee, Ari, who helps Davidson escape.
Michael Clarke Duncan generates the most physical presence as a ferocious silverback gorilla soldier named Attar, who takes a personal dislike to Davidson. Stripped of the racial metaphors found in Boulle's novel and the 1968 film, Burton's Apes is content to be a typical adventure movie. The only thing that qualifies its blockbuster status is the money that went into its production.
By the end of the film, it's not clear why Burton would go to all the trouble to remake Planet of the Apes. I understand why a studio like 20th Century Fox would finance an Apes remake. While there hasn't been an Apes movie since 1973's Battle for the Planet of the Apes, the films are a desirable franchise with a substantial, built-in audience. But these are the financial reasons for a remake. Burton's task is to convince audiences of the legitimate, creative reasons for updating a film that's entertaining in its own right.
In the same videotaped interview, Burton says one of his main reasons for remaking Apes was to see if he could create a believable gorilla villain in Thade. I'll admit Thade is a frightening sight, but he's not capable of supporting an entire blockbuster adventure.
Burton's Apes remake turns out to be one of those extravagant Hollywood movies that never should have been made in the first place. Because the original movie is so entertaining, it's inevitable that Burton's Apes would be a terrible letdown.
Wahlberg fizzles as Apes' astronaut hero. He does nothing to make you forget Heston in the 1968 movie. While Wahlberg is fine playing blue-collar types in movies like Three Kings, The Perfect Storm and Boogie Nights, he doesn't possess the larger-than-life heroism necessary for a film like Apes.
Carter does her best to flirt with Davidson through her chimpanzee makeup. Apes' sole surprise occurs when she leans over to kiss a befuddled Davidson.
While Rick Baker's ape makeup looks impressive, Roth never manages to make Thade more than a redundant series of growls and snarling teeth. Olympic swimmer and fashion model Estella Warren is given the thankless task of playing the jungle bombshell in the mini-loincloth. Paul Giamatti is even less successful as Limbo, an orangutan slave-trader who's supposed to provide comic relief.
A climactic desert battle between the rebellious humans and Thade's ape army reveals just how lulling the rest of the film is. When Thade's gorilla soldiers sprint across the desert on all fours, Burton's Apes finally achieves some much-needed momentum. But it's not long before an uninspired twist stops the desert action dead in its tracks.
There are five weeks left in the summer movie season, but I have no doubt that Burton's Apes is the only remaining movie that qualifies as a must-see blockbuster. I'm astounded by the number of people who tell me they can't wait to see the film.
Burton's Apes reminds me that awful films can still pack plenty of appeal. I have little doubt that this review won't dissuade Apes fanatics from heading to theaters. Some of my favorite memories about movies involve bad summer blockbusters. I waited outside a Chicago theater to watch the first showing of Howard the Duck. Director John Carpenter's kung-fu adventure tale, Big Trouble in Little China, remains a guilty pleasure. Like most teen-agers who came of age watching summer blockbusters, I've seen my share of awful films.
I still watch plenty of bad movies, although now it's part of my job. I went to a screening of Burton's Apes because that's what I get paid to do. But I would be lying if I didn't say how excited I was about watching Burton's reinterpretation of Planet of the Apes.
I'm a Burton fanatic, and that's something I say about few Hollywood filmmakers. In my mind, Pee-wee's Big Adventure (1985) remains a high-spirited boy's life adventure. Edward Scissorhands (1990) is a worthy addition to the Brothers Grimm canon. Only Burton would be inspired enough to place his fairytale monster/hero in a middle-class suburb. Mars Attacks! (1996) captures the pulpy spirit of a 1950s alien invaders story. There is no better love letter to Hollywood's let's-put-on-a-show spirit than Ed Wood (1994), Burton's sweet drama about the B-moviemaker. Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992) bring its comic-book heroes and villains to 3-D life. With Sleepy Hollow (1999), Burton updates Washington Irving's classic story by paying homage to 1960s Hammer horror movies.
So it's fair to expect that Burton would have refashioned Apes into a wondrous cinematic world unlike anything we've seen before. I'm unveiling my fandom for Burton for one simple reason. I want to prove that movie critics are also movie fans. I want to convince people that reviewers can still get as excited over the latest Hollywood extravaganza as some foreign-language drama.
Granted, I consider discovering actress Charlotte Rampling's searing performance in a little-known French film like Under the Sand as the highlight of my job. But I was counting the days to Burton's Planet of the Apes long before I knew about Rampling's latest film. If I wasn't reviewing Burton's Planet of the Apes, I would be one of those fanatics waiting in line for tickets to the first matinee show. You see, I'm also a fan. And like you, I know what it's like to be terribly disappointed by a movie.
CityBeat grade: D.
