Sick of reviewers telling you things you don't want to know? Don't you just want them to get to the point? Well, now it's your turn to ask those direct, to-the-point questions you wish we'd ask ourselves before we go off about some trip we took to the Northwest or our adventures in college.

Why did you buy Sparklehorse's Distorted Ghost EP?

I'd already stopped at two record stores, where I'd purchased a combined total of nine CDs. That I bought this EP anyway-- when I saw it at yet another record store-- is a testament to my hopes for the future of Sparklehorse.

But there was point in 1996 when it seemed Sparklehorse frontman Mark Linkous had no future. While on tour in England to support his debut album, Vivadixiesubmarinetransmissionplot, he overdosed on a mixture of valium and antidepressants that left him legally braindead for three minutes. As his legs were pinned underneath him while he lay unconscious for 14 hours, he was also nearly crippled by the incident. Three years later and fully recovered, he released his second full-length, Good Morning Spider, one of the darkest lo-fi records of last year. Equal parts rage and submission, the album was a disturbing reflection of Linkous' post-overdose mentality, but concerned critics urged him to improve the production for his next album. So, in short, I was hoping this EP might indicate what direction Sparklehorse is headed in.

Did it?

No. It's all old stuff.

Then why did Sparklehorse release it?

I don't know. The only discernable difference between this EP's "Memphis Version" of "Happy Man" and the LP version on Good Morning Spider is that it reduces the opening trebled, radio static from 2½ minutes to under one minute. The next two numbers, "Waiting for Nothing" and "Happy Place," contain the simplistic, mechanized drumbeats and fragile vocals that characterize the Sparklehorse sound, but offer little innovation on the formula. We also get another cover of a Daniel Johnston song ("My Yoke Is Heavy") to supplement the one Linkous recorded for Good Morning Spider ("Hey, Joe"). This cover is the EP's high point, if only because curt power chords are dispersed throughout the song with Linkous holding fast to the reins, never letting it become the loud mess it wants to be. This is classic auditory blueballs. As for the final two live tracks, all I can say about them is that they're truly unexceptional.

That sounds just like a promo Capitol Records sent out after Good Morning Spider was released.

That's basically what this is. They just decided to sell it to unwitting fans.

Like you.

Yes.

Okay. Well, how does Sparklehorse's future look?

It could still be alright. Apparently, Dave Fridmann is producing the next album, and he might be just what Sparklehorse needs to make a brilliant record.

Dave who? Oh, he's the producer for Mercury Rev and the Flaming Lips, right? I'm sick of hearing about him.

I'm not.

-Ryan Kearney, April, 2000