People are reluctant to invite me to the movies after they hear about the brawl I nearly started in a local theater. A pal of mine had complimentary press passes to a movie she had to review for the school paper, and I accompanied her despite my being dreadfully ill. Once there, a snooty studio rep approached us, demanding that we relinquish our special press- only seats. Appalled by her rudeness, we decided to upbraid her accordingly. After the movie, I cornered her in the lobby, railing, "You're a bitch! Where the fuck do you get off treating people like that?! Fuck you!" Heads turned, jaws dropped, the popcorn stopped popping. My pal fled to the bathroom in tears. I wore a wicked grin for the rest of the evening, the troublemaker that I am.

For an unknown reason, my pal neglected to take me to the preview of "Great Expectations," for which she also had passes. (In case you just crawled out of your spider hole, it starred the vapid, homely Gwyneth Paltrow and left Dickens spinning in his grave at more RPMs than a Michelin tire.) Its soundtrack featured "Life in Mono," for which the British duo Mono were responsible.

Vocalist Siobhan de Mare and keyboardist, guitarist, and programmer Martin Virgo sample everything from John Barry to Burt Bacharach to achieve the right balance of ambience and retro kitsch. The butt- shakingly groovy "Slimcea Girl" pulls its inspiration for backing vocals straight off an old Motown 45, and de Mare is beguiling even while stinging us with lines like "I will not surrender my life for you" on "The Outsider." Granted, the electronic wizardry does get a bit monotonous after a while ("Hello Cleveland" is one of the finest examples of that), but for Formica Blues, the plusses outweigh the minuses.

-Susan Moll