Here I am at the bottom again. Thanks to Ryan's system of review placement (the lower the rating, the lower down you go), I always seem to occupy the nether regions of the review column. Which begs the question: am I getting all the shitty releases, or am I just that hard to please?

It used to be different. It was more of an arbitrary editorial decision, and I lobbied for a return to that system earlier today. "Jefe," I said, "you should really push this Melochrome review up into the featured spot. Give me-- uh, I mean them-- some exposure, some hype."

"Yeah? What'd you rate it?"

"Uh... so. How about those Bears?"

Where to begin? Oh hell, let's just dive in. The songs don't take shape; rather, they lose shape, unraveling along the way. They go from a sketch to a blank page; from a metal frame to a pile of wind-blown rust. The persistent problem is long length with no real development or point. The songs try to build up in delicate layers, with all the chance of a souffle at O'Hare. Even Melochrome's sole, half-hearted attempt at rocking-out, "Summer Jens," feels miserably out of place.

The successful exception is the instrumental centerpiece, the seven-minute "Aqueduct" which mixes some mildly interesting two-fingered guitar work with found-sound and a song-long shimmer. This type of gentle, meandering instrumental immediately recalls the Six Parts Seven's work (and not only because of the e-bow). Also, the closer, "Boyfriend," has some piano and violin interplay to make up for its undeveloped melody and dirge-like progression. But that about sums up the good.

A compact example of one of Stay a Little Longer's more grand flaws can be found on the third track. "The Years Go By" begins innocently enough, a pleasing mix of strummed changes and keyboard diddling going hand-in-hand through commonplace chord progressions. With the first couple tracks, singer Prammod Tummala had already established that his soft nasal singing is strained at best and seizure-inducing at worst, so that's not really a surprise here. But then the boy/girl vocal-trading comes in.

Personally, I found bassist Darlene Poole to possess one of the most distasteful voices I've ever heard. She sounds like Joey Lauren Adams on Sudafed. Now, plenty of folks love Ms. Adams and think her voice is just fine-- even sexy. That's great. They would probably dig Darlene, too. However, I don't associate with that kind of folk, because I'm just that kind of guy.

So, that's what really did in half of the album for me. Just as Kevin Costner can ruin what would be an otherwise perfectly fine Hollywood movie merely by being cast in it, Poole's singing is the death knell for Stay a Little Longer. A horrible, off-key, piercing knell. I can't help but think that if there had been exciting, challenging music to counterbalance this effect, the whole affair wouldn't have gone down like a whore named Titanic.

-John Dark, January 4th, 2002