Do you still ride around on your high horse? I remember back when we were kids, you'd talk about bands like Depeche Mode in such disparaging terms-- how could they use a drum machine instead of a drummer? "It's just not real," you'd say, and I'd agree. You'd say that the new music-- "techno" they called it after it stopped being "new wave"-- was made up of a bunch of musical thieves stealing music from all of the "real" musicians. I'd nod my head, look into the treetops and whisper quietly... "thieves."

You still think so? What have you been doing since then? Still working at the Pro Shop, caddying and such? No, you're a golf instructor now-- well, that's progress. You never gave techno a second chance? That's a shame. What? You listen to a lot of Goo Goo Dolls and Extreme these days. Oh, I see. Pass me that ashtray, would you? I started smoking when I was twenty. My lungs had been feeling entirely too clean.

Well, I do all sorts of things now, design web sites, do temp work, write record reviews, smoke a lotta pot and such. Nah, the career thing wasn't for me. What do I think of techno? Well, it's just like any other type of music-- there's good techno and bad techno. What do I think is good right now? Well, I've been listening to DJ DB's Shades of Technology for review, and it rips. Huh? ...Well, I dunno, "rips" means that it's got some superphat breaks and mean drum-n-bass polyrhythms. You look confused. Let me put it to you like this: it's a guy that takes other electronic artist's work and transforms it into his own creation.

DJ DB brings out the hard drum-n-bass, which means that it's packed with hard rhythms bouncing back and forth through a disc mixed for continuous play from start to finish. Yeah, I know, I used to agree with you, but I've grown since then. DJs are musicians like everybody else. In fact, some of my favorite discs are by artists with those two letters preceding their name. Huh? ...Well, a lot of people seem to think techno's repetitive, and I did at first, too, but soon I realized that techno, though often fast, crunchy and hard, actually requires a very zen patience to fully comprehend. No, I'm not a Buddhist now-- still agnostic.

What's special about DJ DB? Good question. There might be hope for you yet. It's the texture-- the switchbacks between hard beats and liteweight vocals, effects and distortion-- that grabs my attention so forcefully. It's the flow from track to track, an almost seamless process that is both hypnotic and exciting. Also, it ain't bad that Shades of Technology is spun around originals by heavy hitters like Optical, Wax Doctor, Rob and Goldie, and even a remix of an Orgy track! You've heard of Orgy, haven't you? No? Metal? Don't listen to metal much anymore? Okay... anyway, DJ DB might be a little intense for your virgin ears, but you oughta try some techno out!

What's up with that sour look on your face? Still haven't gotten past the guitar rock, huh? Naw, there's nothing wrong with guitar rock-- it's just a small part of the musical universe, man. What's that? A poseur? Wh-what?! Hey-- come back here, y'little bitch! DJ DB could spank Extreme's ass any day, you Michael Bolton- listenin' pansy motherfucker! Why'nt you put some capri pants on, girlie- man! Fuckin'... bastard called me a poseur! Yeah... golf wank. He can suck my cock.

-James P. Wisdom