Some couples "church shop," hoping to find the most hassle-free wedding.

They want a church marriage, but they may not be members of any specific church, and they may not want counseling from some preacher.

They just want to get married.

But within a year, that may be much more difficult. Kansas City area pastors affiliated with a national nonprofit group are working to create a "community marriage policy," hoping to attract 200 members. The policy mandates premarital counseling for couples who want church weddings and through that, aims to put a dent on divorce.

Although the effort focuses on Protestant churches on both sides of the state line, other faiths may find the policy worthwhile, says the Rev. Jeff Meyers, Kansas Chair for Marriage Savers.

"The big thing to remember is that three-fourths of weddings occur in churches," says Meyers, pastor of Christ Lutheran Church in Overland Park. "We want to clean our own house first."

Meyers and another Marriage Savers rep, the Rev. LeRoy Sullivan of Bread of Life Outreach Ministry, say they've seen fewer divorces in their congregations, thanks to the Marriage Savers policy.

They'll carry their mission to other Kansas City area churches during the next nine months. Written by Meyers and other area pastors in 1996, the policy states a church must counsel engaged couples for at least four sessions in at least four months.

Forty-four churches -- 27 in Kansas and most of them Protestant -- have signed it. Meyers says about 150 local pastors have talked with him about a policy, and more churches probably have developed their own marriage counseling. Catholic churches and some Protestant churshes have required counseling before marriage for years.

Maywood Baptist Church in Independence adopted Sullivan and Meyers' policy nearly two years ago. At least 10 couples have gotten married since, with one breaking off their engagement after going through counseling.

One downfall to such a policy is that some people avoid a member church because they want to dodge the counseling. The Rev. Robert W. Spradling, pastor of Maywood Baptist, says about 25 percent of couples who want to get married there fall into this category.

Part of the hassle is time. Part is not wanting to hear that one shouldn't get married. And another part is having to hear about one's faults.

"They would rather stick their heads in sand like ostriches do than look at themselves," Spradling says. "With the limited experience we've had (with the program), they find out it's not so threatening and are happy to do it."

Meyers says an areawide marriage policy could end "church hopping."

"If a couple goes to my church and doesn't want to do this and leaves, they might go to a Baptist church, but that church will have the same thing," Meyers says. "This will unify how we do marriage as a faith community."

Counseling would unify couples, too. They most often discover potential problems with finances, communication and inflexibility with change and time, Spradling says.

Counseled couples at Maywood Baptist work on a "FOCCUS" inventory, more than 160 questions that ponder spouses' habits, concerns and strengths (see box) and fill out eight workbooks.

The couple also meets with a trained mentor couple six to eight times. The $175 process lasts six months, Spradling adds, and could continue into the marriage.

But cost shouldn't deter someone from counseling, Meyers says, especially when the average wedding costs $20,000.

"People start mistaking the wedding for the marriage," he says. "They think if they put in all this money on the right kind of dresses, the right kind of planner and have the right kind of pastor standing in front of them -- hocus-pocus -- they have a special marriage.

"It doesn't work that way. It's in their hands."

To reach Sarah Trotto, features reporter, call (816) 234-4380 or send e-mail to strotto@kcstar.com.

Sample marriage counseling questions

The "FOCCUS" inventory used by Marriage Savers could give a couple an idea about what they need to work on. Some examples of the inventory's 160-plus questions:

• I feel I can express myself clearly to my spouse.

• My spouse sometimes discounts my feelings.

• We find ourselves disagreeing about the same issues over and over.

• I would like to change some of the ways we solve problems between us.

• We've discussed the role of the father in bringing up kids.

• I hope after marriage my future spouse will change some behaviors.

For information about Marriage Savers locally, call Christ Lutheran Church at (913) 345-9700 or Bread of Life Outreach Ministry at (913) 371-5433.