The problem with Tortoise has been their doggedly clinical approach to jazz fusion. TNT had the feel of cool chrome, Lysol, and air conditioning. Academia in music, while perhaps necessary for invention, doesn't exactly get the booty juices flowing (unless you have that little shock of hair growing in the vale between your lower- lip and chin that perfectly matches your Caesar cut and wristbands). I have never once felt compelled to dance to Tortoise. ...Perhaps compelled to put on a pair of headphones and pull up close to the stereo, but I've never been compelled to turn it up and let loose.

In the flat, asbestosized corner of my college campus, there was a blocky building called the CCMB. It was a giant box of cement cut with rectangular windows to look like an ancient computer punch card. This was the mathematics building. While the inner doings and discussions of this building probably had a greater influence on society, I much preferred to chill on the weathered steps of the Riley Art Building. Ivy crawled up its sandy brick sides, and the din of band- saws, pottery wheels, gossip, and rock pumping from paint- smattered boomboxes wafted from the dusty windows. The building felt alive and glowed around the clock. Meanwhile, I never saw anyone go in or out of the CCMB, ever. This long digression brings me to 5ive Style. 5ive Style is the Riley Art Building on the glutted Chicago post-rock campus-- the place where the other students wish they could hang as they trudge by on their way to study endless Architecture (Brokeback), Organic Chemistry (Jim O'Rourke), Freshman Comp (Joan of Arc), and Statistics (Tortoise).

But I really hasten to use the term "post-rock" in relation to 5ive Style. After all, 5ive Style play with jazz and blues (which is really pre-rock) and add it to the sunny party jams of the '60s and '70s, (which is just plain- old- rock-- or, if you will, proto-rock) before finally filtering it through the frolic of modern electronic"a" (which you could probably call "no-rock"). So, to sum up for you genre followers, 5ive Style is un- proto- prerockica.

It's been four years since 5ive Style's rump- shaking debut. It was hot, but not quite as frantic as their earlier seven- inchers, like the stellar, grease- dripping "Hotbox." The most recent 7" showcased a slight departure into more standard, almost Phish- esque jam pop, complete with vocals. It frightened some fans (although it was really a great Brian Eno cover), but fear not! Miniature Portraits is a return to the back- porch funk, with some slight tropical enhancements.

Miniature Portraits' playfulness and competency brings to mind the jolly old- time jazz of Slim Gaillard, who barked and stomped, tongue- in- cheek, with demented passion in the 1930s, before jazz became a goatee'd experiment for the Beats. The word "jazz" alone makes most people shudder these days. It reminds people of turtlenecks and New York. But remember, Herb Alpert is also filed under jazz. And 5ive Style is the Herb Alpert of modern indie rock. Or, more appropriately, the Herbie Hancock Alpert of indie rock.

Who'd have thought that the steel drum would become the hip instrument of '99? You heard it here first-- the Steel Drum is the Hot Instrument of '99! And, Seth Green is the hot Redhead of '99! (Oops, I this isn't Rolling Stone.) Trust me-- the Beta Band, Macha, and the Super Furry Animals have all added some steel drum flourishes to their recent, amazing albums. With acoustic guitars, dub bass, and those steel drums, Miniature Portraits glides along with the scent of coconut sunblock and B-B-Q sauce.

Bill Dolan's insane guitar work will make power- chorders cry. The bubbling keyboards and vibes keep pace. ...Ah, fuck. 5ive Style actually made me use music vocabulary like "vibes." But I guess the fact that they can make me type that word with sincerity (and not the tantric bullshit of Drew Barrymore and Lenny Kravitz) makes me smile. Dolan's work is reminiscent of jazz maestro Jon Scofield, who released an album with Medeski, Martin and Wood last year. But truth be told, Miniature Portraits buries Medeski, Martin and Wood at their own indie- funk game.

5ive Style easily appeals to hippie jam fans, indie rockers, jazz gurus, and blues players. That's quite an accomplishment. And their recent incorporation of Caribbean stylings just rubs it in our noses. If you're near a beach, get on it, crank this record, eat some ribs, sip rum and lemonade, and melt away as the bug zapper keeps time in the background.

-Brent DiCrescenzo