From the Pitchfork Manual of Reviewing Records

APPENDIX V - Use of adjectives and adverbs and other descriptive phrases

You will note that in Chapter 3 we went over common techniques of description and discussed the use of adjectives and adverbs and how they can help you write more betterly and effectively, without resorting to run-on aimless sentences that go nowhere and serve only to make the reader feel like it is just reading something to fill up much needed online content. For example, let us review a record by Kahimi Karie called K.K.K.K.K. and throw out some adjectives that might be appropriate.

Cute: In normal parlance, this is considered a positive, indicating some sort of warm fuzziness that comes from experiencing a certain phenomenon or experience. For example: "Hello, recently divorced mother of three, those are some 'cute' leather garters you are wearing tonight at the Horny Toad." In describing music, this is generally a derisive manner of speech. The use of the word "cute" usually means that the artist lacks range and tries to milk this feeling for maximum and ultimately unsuccessful effect. For example: Kahimi Karie has the kind of permanently cute, quiet voice that appeals to those who either a) like Advanced Dungeons and Dragons, b) grown men who lust after little girls.

Kitsch: An ambiguous word used to describe things that are cheap and tacky, but somehow intriguing. As in: "Kahimi Karie's songs are kitschy little odes to the nihilistic booty beauties of the day, like enfant- terrible Harmony Korine."

Japanese: A very specific term, describing people or things who originate from Japan. Be very careful when using this word. "Kahimi Karie is Japanese. Steve Albini is not Japanese."

French: Usually refers to people or things from France, but can also refer to a peculiar language spoken or sung by people who wear berets, or Japanese pop singers who want to appear extra cute or kitschy.

Pooh: Normally and musically, a turd. "Cutesy synth-pop creations like 'What Are You Wearing?' are sick enough to make any dirty old man make pooh in his pants."

Please feel free to consult editorial staff about any questions you might have.

-Samir Khan