Busy Signals
Pretend Hits
[Sugar Free]
Rating: 4.3
I don't like being fooled. Tell me exactly what this drug-- prescription or
otherwise-- is going to do to me. Don't make a comedy about apes and advertise
it as a remake of a science fiction classic. And please, please don't stuff
your bra or boxer briefs, because no one wins in that kind of situation; you
won't be very well regarded when the truth comes out, and I'll be pissed off.
Surprise me, if you will, but don't fool me.
The Busy Signals' sole member, Howard W. Hamilton III, has done the disservice
of fooling me, you, and anyone else who listens to his sophomore release,
Pretend Hits. How? The first track, "The New You," is a gorgeous pop
track. It opens with an echoed sample of a man saying, "Watch it," which loops
over soft percussion and acoustic touches. "It's so nice/ To finally feel the
times changing," sings Hamilton ever so lightly. "I'm happy to say/ Everything
new is old again/ Everything old has been retired." It's what you'd expect
from the label that brought you Wheat's Hope and Adams-- by no means
brilliant, and almost unbearably soothing.
Then Hamilton messes with a perfectly sound formula. First of all, I should
mention that he has a moniker, HWH3, which is never a good sign. See, Hamilton
fancies himself a hip-hop beat specialist. He sells discs of beats for all
those budding emcees lurking around eBay. Man's got to make living, I know,
and it's better that than being a roadie for Babes in Toyland, as he once
was. But it looks like he sold all his good beats away, 'cause ain't none of
them here.
"Buckle Down (feat. Har Mar Superstar and Phonte')" is freshly packaged, but
perfectly stale. We're well past the expiration date. The prefab beat is
cheaper than copping a feel in the mosh pit, and the twinkling piano or
electronic calliope that occasionally drops in only ups the cheese factor.
Then Phonte' levels with us: "Yo, the Busy Signals. Phonte'. H-dub the third.
We put it down for y'all, like that. Yo. To the year whatever. I can't say
the year 'cause it might outdate it. And y'all radios might not play it."
Right, like it's not already outdated. And all I wanted to know was why
there's an apostrophe at the end of Phonte'. Later, Har Mar gives us his best
D'Angelo impersonation. It feels like it'll never end.
But it does, leading us to "The Freeway (feat. Robert Schneider)." Yes, that
Robert Schneider, of Apples in Stereo, who also lends a production hand on
many of these tracks. Though, you'd think production duties were held by
Sean "Puffy" "P. Diddy" "Thief" Combs. If you've never heard a song that
couples a basic hip-hop beat with an effects keyboard's female falsettos,
then you should try to get out more often. And if you've never heard Robert
Schneider, then come here and listen closely. Come closer, I won't bite.
HE SHOULD NOT BE SINGING ON A HIP-HOP TRACK.
"All the Young Designers (Brian Tester Remix)" is decidedly more bearable,
although it carries a distinctly 80's feel, mostly likely the result of
cheap electronics. "Attention Please" is the first of four carefree,
sample-based beat instrumentals that are largely responsible for the band's
Cornershop comparisons. While not particularly self-sufficient, these songs
are by no means as irritating as the misguided hip-hop tracks, of which
"Fresh like Clear Gel (feat. Phonte')" is another. The very Spiritualized
"Tomorrow's Ways Today," meanwhile, finally fulfills the promise of the
first track, but at the album's close, when all hope has already been lost.
Trust me on this one. I'm not fooling you.
-Ryan Kearney