After receiving the unmarked parcel by post, I proceeded into the kitchen. A film of "something" and "I don't know what" coated the floor, gripping the soles of my feet as they did their business of moving me down the hall.

Brushing newspapers to the side of my couch, I sat down with a steak knife and began cutting away at the parcel's wrappings. Eventually, I came to see that a compact disc lied within, the brown paper its crunchy peanut butter shell. Lux Aeterna. Hmm... eternal light? No matter, as what came next would change my life forever. Okay, maybe not forever. But it would at least make the next hour interesting.

I put the disc into my CD reading unit and engaged the audio amplifying units so that they would broadcast any messages on this disc...

"Her mouth started humming out spools of thread..."

Aaaaahhhhh!

"Put it in reverse/ And call it a verse/ I'm in galaxies of milk/ With eighteen eyeballs..."

What is that? Huh? Who has eyeballs? Okay, instrumental time. Kind of funky a la Luscious Jackson. Little Tortoise here. Little Thinking Fellers Union there. Man, even sounds a little James at times. Velvet Underground, too. Pretty good for a group young fellahs. Sounds like six of 'em. Maybe seven. The combination seems to vary.

"No home/ He's a killer land slide/ Hitch a ride/ Good vibration variation/ Vacation..."

This is crazy. Did Pavement put these guys up to this? What does it all mean? Cool keyboards though. Yeah, I like that.

"I'm traffic/ Savvy/ You're an/ Eastern star..."

Hmm, frantic "Old McDonald Had a Farm" on keyboards. How weird.

"It's snowing/ In this here head/ And i feel like a splinter/ Kissing vacuum cleaners..."

You cannot hurt me.

"It's snowing in this here head/ And I'm turning doorknobs/ With grape jelly/ And my rabbit/ It ate the gates of heaven..."

Well played, Lux Aeterna, well played. I'm interested in where you'll go from here.

-Chip Chanko