Upon the race track of pop culture, many winners have taken home the gleaming prize. But far more numerous are the dejected, hunched forms of pop culture's also-rans. Chief amongst them is once-Beatle Stuart Sutcliffe. He was such also-ran that he's since achieved nigh on legendary status.

Jim Beattie, however, dwells in a minor division of the could-have-beens. He was once a member of Primal Scream, but left the group long before their metamorphosis from floppy-fringed Byrdsian fakers into a ten-legged, Ecstasy-scarfing, blissed-out groove engine. Beattie lived off the meager trimmings of his former band's success while he recorded as Spirea X. But that project, too, has long since gone the way of small pox (preserved in meticulously maintained laboratories, for reference purposes only).

Now Beattie's founded the archly retro Adventures in Stereo. And Monomania, the sophomore release of this band's repertoire, has but a single reason for existing: it's your brief and blatantly insubstantial guide to the last 25 years of foppish white boy music. Think of it as the Cliff's Notes of saccharine harmonies and arpeggiated guitar chords.

Taken as such, Monomania succeeds admirably. Weak, sickly vocal'd singer Judith Boyle gamely assists Beattie in his plan to round up the ba-ba-ba harmonies of the Beach Boys and Phil Spector's girl groups, the Motown rhythm section, and the entire Byrds back catalogue into one portable, ultimately disposable package. The record works so well, in fact, that it's easy to forget how crass the project is. It's hard to remember that you've heard all these melodies and hooks before-- most of them while you were still wading through the gorgeously warm amniotic fluid of your dear old mom's womb.

Beattie's unashamed purloining of riffs deserves at least grudging praise, if only for its flagrance. How many of you can't already hum the melodies of "Mr. Tambourine Man" or "Turn! Turn! Turn!?" If you said "me," Monomania will help you succeed. At least Belle and Sebastian rip off Donovan, a less obvious source.

Adventures in Stereo is no less than the Weight Watchers of '60s paisley pop. And though you'll lightly dine on barely nutritious ersatz product during the Monomania program, you'll pass for the slimmer, leaner lite-psych devotee you always hoped you could be within just a few hours. No more strenuous Dead rallies! No more nit-picking Youngbloods meets! The entire pop legacy of the 1960s is contained within a single cardboard package. How much more painless could such a diet be? Pass the sick bag! I feel a heinous acid reflux welling up!

-Paul Cooper