It's Thursday.

Usually I'm not that concerned with being late to work, but today was different. I had a board meeting at 9:30, lunch with the client at 12:00, and Eleanor and I needed to go over our most recent proposal-- the one for the Vatican City amusement casino in Vegas-- for the rest of the afternoon. Having all this on my plate meant that my 9:00-9:30 café latte was critical in the italic sense of the word.

I wouldn't have been late if three things hadn't occurred. First, I went to bed a half hour late on Tuesday, so I figured that if I went to sleep a half hour earlier than usual on Wednesday night, it would counteract Tuesday night's sleep deficit. But no, I was still groggy this morning when the alarm went off. Second, this morning's alarm was somehow set to "radio" instead of "alarm." My wife must have done this accidentally when setting her alarm (it's a two-alarm clock, with "his" and "hers" settings in separate blue and pink LEDs). Third, what the hell was this music playing on my alarm at six in the morning?!

"Good morning, Washingtonians. You're listening to KBJX Public Radio 100.7 FM. We just heard 'Glo Stick,' the new single from local techno diva, Lida Husik. Next up, 'Tantilize,' another track from her new album, Mad Flavor. It's back-to-back Husik on KBJX Public Radio 100.7 FM."

Lida Husik. Lida Husik played on my radio at six in the morning and put me right back to sleep. I don't know if this was because of the mesmerizing harmonies, the lush arrangements, or the low excitement level of the music. The final strains of "Tantilize" wove layers of what seemed like a classical lullaby over and through my eyes, gently closing my eyelids and hitting the snooze button in my brain. Twelve minutes later, I awoke to some kind of tribal rave-- guttural, rhythmic breathing piled on top of insane drum-n-bass. I lay there half dreaming, half awake, dreaming about being half awake.

"That was 'We Saw,' another track from Lida Husik's Mad Flavor. They'll probably can me for playing three songs in a row by the same person. Next up, Stravinsky's "I Lobster But Never Flounder in D Minor."

My dream shifted from being half awake to being fully awake. Then I woke up. "6:12!!" I grabbed the clothes from yesterday, a new tie and my toothbrush, and rushed downstairs. To most people, 12 minutes late wouldn't be a problem. To me, 12 minutes means an extra hour in traffic waiting to cross the bridge.

I grabbed a Toaster Strudel from the freezer, hoping that if I didn't toast it I might make up some time. I also decided that I'd brush my teeth in the car. The car stereo was playing the same music that I'd heard on KBJX. What was this? Kerri must have left one of her CDs in the disc player. Yes, she'd used it the night before go to the school play. Hmm... Lida Husik. It was on the eighth track, "Choco Deluxe." Chocolate City! This reminded me of that old Parliament album. Well, the chorus did at least. "Chocolate Ciii-tttyyy!" The lyrics didn't make me think of Washington at all. I wished she'd stop saying "Chocolate City." Shut up! Traffic wasn't helping, either.

I arrived at work a half-hour late. (I couldn't help but think back to Tuesday night and that extra half-hour watching "Baseball Tonight.") By this time, the Toaster Strudel had thawed enough to eat, my 9:30 board meeting had started without me, and the phrase "Chocolate City" was stuck in my head. I snuck into the back of the room and sat in a chair in a dark corner. Ron had taken my place and started the presentation, which was fine with me.

"Chocolate Ciii-tttyyy!"

I leaned back in my chair and tried to remember the lyrics to the Kinks' "Animal Farm." No luck. "Chocolate City" was still king of the mountain.

"Any questions?"

Man, it was already over? I'd been waging war with that "Chocolate City" the whole time. I felt a bit hot, like I had a fever or something.

Ron looked around the room. There weren't any questions, so he concluded the meeting.

"You don't look so good, man," he said.

"Chocolate Ciii-tttyyy!"

"Yeah, well, I had some trouble sleeping, er, getting up this morning."

"Chocolate Ciiiiii-ttttttyyyyyy!"

"Riiight. You and the misses must be back on speaking terms, eh? Heh heh heh."

"Hey, Ron, do you think you could handle that lunch with the people from Inc., Co. without me?"

"No problem. You know that means you get to do all the paperwork tomorrow, then. Heh heh heh."

"Okay, I gotta go home."

"Chocolate Ciiiiiiiii-tttttttttyyyyyyyyy!"

Ahhh! It wouldn't leave me alone. If only I could remember the music... the other songs... something else I'd heard that day! What were they playing that morning? I remember that the beats were good. The music was soothing. But damnit if it wasn't memorable enough to get this "Chocolate City" out of my head.

"Chocolate Ciiiiiiiii-tttttttttyyyyyyyyy!"

-Chip Chanko