"What's up, Doc? Hah! Get it? What's up, Doc?" Frank said as Dr. Rimbo entered the examination room, which despite being located in a nondescript medical complex, looked like a mad scientist's lab.

"Yeah, yeah, Frank. Very funny. You're a stinkin' comedian," Dr. Rimbo responded unenthusiastically.

Frank had been going to Dr. Rimbo since his girlfriend Tammy, a scientologist that played Minnie Mouse at Disney World, told him he was an idiot and needed some serious medical attention. Frank, who was in fact an idiot, took her literally and called "Dr. Rimbo: Hypnotherapist" after finding his name below the "Be A Porn Star" ad in the classifieds section of Swank. He wasn't sure what Dr. Rimbo was doing, but he thought the lab motif was cool and he always felt like smoking a cigarette when he woke up, so he was cool with it.

"Okay, Frank. Today we're going to go to the part of your mind called 'the tool box,'" Dr. Rimbo said. "It's called that because there's a lot of clutter there, and since you're a naughty boy-- mmm... yes, a very naughty boy indeed-- I'm sure we'll find plenty there."

"Doc, you are so right," Frank answered. "Sometimes it's just like my mind is this big throbbing brown lump that looks like chili or those eggs on Aliens and I..."

"Okay, Frank. You are getting sleepy, very sleepy. You are now asleep." Dr. Rimbo was a speed hypnotist. "When I count to three, you'll be awake, but you'll be in a dream state. One, two, three! Now, tell me Frank, what do you see in your tool box?"

"I see a big machine. It looks like a boat. Wait! It's not touching the water! And little whirlpools are forming all around it! That's no boat, that's a space station!"

"Frank, that's not a space station."

"Oh yeah, you're right. It's a Hovercraft. Hey, that woman who's driving the Hovercraft looks familiar. Is that-- no way, it couldn't be. Yeah, I think it is. That's Beth Liebling."

"Is she an ex-girlfriend?"

"No way, Doc. Beth Liebling is Eddie Vedder's wife. How messed up is that? Beth Vedder is driving a Hovercraft around in my tool box. Man, my girlfriend's never gonna believe this."

"Why don't you go in closer and see if Beth has anything to tell you."

"Sure thing. I can see her a little clearer now. I think she can see me, too. Yeah, she sees me. She's picking something up. It's a guitar. Whoa! She just threw a fucking guitar at me! Are those drums? Shit! That cymbal almost sliced my jugular! Beth Liebling's a psycho, Doc. Now she's got an old Casio keyboard-- whoa, that was close! Wait! What's that? I think it's a transistor radio. Ow! Damn! That's it. I don't give a fuck who's wife she is, she's gonna get a piece of the Frankenmonster. Yo, Beth, you better start runnin' because you're mine, ya freak! Wait... what's that sound? The instruments, they're rising up from the whirlpools and playing. Man, I shouldn't have taken those boomers the last time I watched "Fantasia." They sound pissed, Doc. What should I do?"

"Tell me what you hear, Frank."

"I hear a guitar solo that sounds like it's been run over by a bullet train and then put on life support and not allowed to die. I hear drums that beat in no particular order. I hear all sorts of freaky sounds coming from the Casio, and a static radio that screams like it just took a speedball. Help, somebody! I'm trapped in a nightmare. All I can hear are these random transmissions. This drug music isn't made for casual listening. That ain't ambient noise, that's a space station, a damned space station that sounds like it could explode at any moment. Get us out of here, Chewbacca. Chewbacca, get us out of here. Get us out of here Chewbacca..."

"Frank, wake up. Wake up, Frank."

"Wha? Who's there? Is that you, my Princess? I found your droids in my tool box."

"Frank, you were dreaming. It's me, Tammy."

"Oh thank God. That was the most fucked up dream I've ever had. Do me a favor, Tammy. Never take a job at Disney World and never become a scientologist. And while you're at it, you could stand to lose a few pounds, Porky."

"God, Frank. You're such an asshole! You're seriously in need of some medical attention."

-Shan Fowler