Merle Haggard
If I Could Only Fly
[Anti-/Epitaph]
Rating: 7.6
After languishing on Curb Records during the '90s, releasing albums that no
one paid attention to (including, it sometimes seemed, himself), Merle Haggard
signed with the Epitaph subsidiary Anti-. This move afforded the prolific
veteran an opportunity to do exactly what made him a legend in the first
place: compose excellent, commercially-unconcerned country music. But there's
a discernible difference: Merle Haggard has grown into his surname, and it
suits him well.
"Watching while some old friends do a line/ Holding back the want to in my own
addicted mind" is the lyric that opens If I Could Only Fly, an album
strong enough to remind one of Haggard's work in the '60s and '70s. Accompanied
by an acoustic guitar, snare brushes, occasional electric pickings and a barely
audible organ, Haggard continues, "Wishing it was still the thing even I could
do/ Wishing all these old things were new." Its subtle power is enough to make
my 23 year-old body somehow feel old and tired.
As strong as the opening track is, a whole album of it would leave me a
shriveled heap of flesh and bone. Haggard, of course, realizes this. So he
quickly jumps into the Hank Williams-inspired "Honky Tonky Mama," which he
delivers in an odd, but engaging, swallowed voice. After the laid back slide
guitar of "Turn to Me," the album hits another high point with its title
track. Largely just an acoustic guitar, a harmonica and his smooth baritone,
Haggard sings, "I feel so good and then I feel so bad/ I wonder what I ought
to do." Written here, it reads like the sad, simplistic reflections of an old
man. Yet, everything about the song is so beautifully understated as to make
one understand, if not sympathize.
But, again, Haggard moves through various subgenres with impressive ease.
"Crazy Moon" sounds as if it were written from the shores of Hawaii;
"Bareback" is Bob Wills-style country swing; "Proud to Be Your Old Man" is
a blues-inflected ragtime number. And through Haggard's consistently subtle
approach, the songs flow together with no disruption.
Despite these worthy numbers, the best moments here are when, as on "Wishin'
All These Old Things Were New," and "If I Could Only Fly," Haggard sticks
closely to his acoustic guitar and alludes to his past. "I'm Still Your Daddy,"
for instance, opens with the nearly spoken lines, "I knew someday you'd find
out about San Quentin." An unsettling harmonica rides through before he
resumes: "It's time you knew the truth about your papa/ I've not always been
the man I am today." With compelling, confessional honesty, he goes on to
address his criminal past, his former youthful naiveté, and to admit his
wrongfulness.
The stripped-down "Uncle John" begins with a reference to the death of his
father. Then, he informs us how his career began: "Looking back, it all looks
like a marathon/ And it started with an E chord I learned from Uncle John."
The final number, "Listening to the Wind," is just what you might expect: the
description of a man at the latter end of his life, alternately listening to
everything around him, and to the concerns in his own mind.
The obvious comparison is to Bob Dylan. Both men, thankfully, still have a
message, albeit of a nature quite different from their earlier years. Although
Dylan's Time Out of Mind is certainly a greater triumph, If I Could
Only Fly shows that perhaps Haggard has more to say, given the upheaval of
his youth. In either case, that Dylan and Haggard are still making music is a
blessing to the rest of us. Perhaps, in listening to their reflections on
aging and the accompanying doubts, we can learn how to face our own mortality
with greater equanimity and fewer regrets.
-Ryan Kearney