I suspect, and this is just a wild, random guess, that the Groop Dogdrill album came to yours truly because of a love of professional wrestling. I see the brain trust at Pitchfork World Headquarters (a palatial corporate complex, by the way) going through this month's assignments deciding who gets what.

"Okay," proclaims Mr. Ryan, lord and despotic ruler of the Pitchfork empire. "The only thing left to assign is... Half Nelson by the illustrious rock trio Groop Dogdrill. Who gets it? I know, I'll give it to that Duane guy. He likes wrestling. Maybe he'll make some goofy Hulk Hogan references."

"Yeah," replies a corporate underling. "The kids today eat up that wrestling stuff. Look at all the "Stone Cold" Steve Austin t-shirts out on the streets."

Actually, a lot of parallels can be drawn between Groop Dogdrill and wrestling. For instance, hard rock and heavy metal was big in the mid-to-late 1980s, just like pro wrestling. Said musical style went into decline in the early to mid '90s, just like wrestling. And now, wrestling has made a comeback. Can hard rock be far behind?

Groop Dogdrill is promoted as a punk band, but they've got more in common with the glam- inspired British metal bands of the early '80s. You remember-- those bands like Judas Priest and Accept that spearheaded the rise of metal as a viable form of pop music. And-- no surprise, here-- after just a few tracks into Half Nelson, it's obvious what these kids grew up listening to.

Yet another parallel: like the great professional wrestlers, such as The Rock, Stone Cold and New Age Outlaws, Groop Dogdrill has a swagger-- a strut, if you will. In the tradition of good old heavy metal, these boys have balls and they aren't afraid to swing 'em around. Check out the words of "Gentleman's Soires" or "Silver Boots;" it's testosterone at its strongest dilution. They know all the chords and all the cliches, but Groop Dogdrill makes them sound new and refreshing because they're having fun doing what they wanna be doing.

So, let Eddie Vedder and Pearl Jam sing their idealistic tripe. And in the meantime, put on your Steve Austin t-shirt, flip your boss the bird, and have some good, old- fashioned, ass- whoopin' time. 'Cuz Stone Cold said so!

-Duane Ambroz