Spalding Gray. My hero in the field of excellent monologue delivery. It's A Slippery Slope is a rumination on skiing, infidelity, fatherhood, and death, among other things and not necessarily in that order. To describe the plotline would make it sound boring and self- indulgent, and it's certainly not boring. Self- indulgent, on the other hand, it is. But imagine anyone talking about their life on stage. I do it at parties and I'm called "Drunkenly Arrogant" and "Shut Up, You." This guy gets paid and people like him! Talk about knowing which one of us is Hall and which is Oates.

The theme of Slope is all about regrets, and Gray regrets everything from never learning how to ski to that affair that resulted in an illigitimate child. I regret making this part of the review sound like a third grade composition, but shit, what do you expect? This is a music magazine. I'm supposed to review performance art? I can't write! Hell, none of us can, and if it don't have a drumbeat, I don't know what to do with it. I can't say it "rocks" or that the production possesses "beautiful dynamics." I can't talk about how the musicians have created not a bunch of noise but an "aural soundscape." I can't fall back on the ol' "cool chord changes" or "gut- wrenching guitar solo." I'm a man without a lifeboat, people.

-Jason Josephes