Dear Golden Smog:

Howdy. You guys don't know me and I don't know you, but I sure as heckfire felt like a letter was in order after listening to that album you call Weird Tales.

Me and the missus were down at the mall-- she makes me go with her when she gets her hair highlighted-- and we stopped into the record store. I guess they're called CD stores now, but I like the sound of record better'n "CD." I was just about to buy that Johnny Cash and Willie Nelson duet record when the young man who worked there said "I bet you'd like Golden Smog." Nice kid. Not that bright, but nice. Anyhow, he talked this old warship into your record, and I don't know whether to thank him or return the damn thing. I kept the receipt, you know.

My grandkids got me a computer for my birthday, so I read up on you guys. I may be old, but I ain't ignorant. That Internet is a handy little gizmo. Beats Dewey Decimal anyway. Said you guys were some kind of "supergroup"-- y'all have your own bands and this is just a "side project." Said that Dan Murphy's band is called Soul Asylum and they ain't doin' so hot these days. Said that Jeff Tweedy character's band is called Wilco, and they just made a bunch of Woody Guthrie songs with that Limey Pinko Billy Bragg. Never heard the guy, but I heard he's some kind of Socialist and that's all I care to know about him.

'Course, you already know all this, so I'll get to the point of this here letter. I was just wondering what in the hell kind of band you're supposed to be?

That song "Making Waves" that Kraig Johnson wrote has a soft fiddle that makes me want to slow dance with the missus. But then there's that crazy funk (and I mean the stuff you find on your shoes, not that disco malarky) song "Keys" by Kraig and Gary Louris that sounds like some guy my youngest son Jeb used to like back during the Carter Administration. Joe Walsh, I think his name was.

And tell me what you're all about, Mr. Tweedy. Boy, you can sing a song like Roy Orbison took over the body of Hank Williams-- that's Senior, thank you very much. Those "Lost Love" and "Please Tell My Brother" songs make my heart ache, and that "I Can't Keep From Talking..." well, that's about as rock and roll as this old coot can handle, but I like it. Trouble is, sometimes you try to be a Big Star. And you ain't the Big Star in this band-- Jody Stephens is. Says so right in the liner notes. So how about you let him do his job and you can do yours.

Now I don't mean to tell you folks how to run your business, I'm just giving you some advice. And you know what they say about free advice: it's worth what you pay for it.

I won't take any more of your time, apart from saying that I also enjoyed that twangy number called "Fear of Falling" that Jeff and Jody and Gary Louris from the Jayhawks wrote together, and I can't forget the first song, "To Call My Own," that Dan wrote. I haven't heard Soul Asylum, but I imagine that song's better'n anything they've wrote in years.

But wirry guitar stuff, well, I just don't get it. Maybe I'm too old. That kid in the record store called it "y'all-turnative." Good heavens, what will they think of next?

-Codger Rainier

"Lost Love"

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