Superman flew down to the rooftop terrace of my penthouse, walked up behind me, grabbed my shirt, and then we were flying!! Wow. I looked down at the city below me. It looked just like it did from up in an Aeroplane. Zowee!! We were flying! There were people walking around with flashlights (otherwise I wouldn't have seen them since this was taking place at night) and checking that their back doors were locked!

After about an hour of this, I decided to ask Superman why he'd grabbed me and started flying around, but he didn't respond. This made me curious. Perhaps he was bringing me to city hall for a crime I did not commit. Surely I would have a chance at a fair trial. But maybe not-- I was, after all, defending myself against the Man of Steel. I eventually decided that Superman was an idiot and lapsed into a comatose- like state of deep thought:

Hmm... maybe it wasn't Superman but a guy dressed up like Superman. Man, I sure hope not. At least he can fly...

He flew higher, then, into the clouds. I felt touched, and began to sing "Can You Read my Mind," doing my best Margot Kidder impersonation. Soon, a part when my hand slipped from his and I fell a half- mile before he caught me, he brought me back to my terrace.

Fluid Ounces' latest album, In the New Old- Fashioned Way, was playing on my home stereo unit when I got back inside. It was playing at the beginning of the story, too, but I didn't mention it then. Also, I had it on repeat play.

"What's this? Ben Folds Five?" he asked.

"No, it's Fluid Ounces."

"Man, they sound just like the Ben Folds Five. I'm analyzing this singer's vocal pattern and it matches exactly."

"It sure does. It's pretty uncanny. And the piano just adds to the similarities. I have to admit, though, they're a much better band."

"Yes. They have a guitar in there. That's different."

"Yeah. And they root themselves in Scott Joplin, the Statler Brothers and Jellyfish, rather than Folds' "Elton John mixed with Elton John" approach.

"You're right. And they fuse it well with modern rock conventions. These guys have great pop hooks. Hey... there's a slight nod to Pink Floyd there in that 'Run Rabbit Run' song. Like a tribute to 'Breathe' off Dark Side of the Moon!

"Mmmm hmmm. And there was a Duke Ellington flourish, too. The lyrics on the album are great-- very non- repetitive. In 'Lend me Your Ears', a great album opener which asks what happened to our appreciation of the past, the narrator invokes the ghost of Vincent Van Gogh: 'Lend me your ears/ I lost one of mine/ I've suffered for love/ And there's no point in that.'"

"'Vegetable Kingdom' reminds me of growing up on the farm. 'Welcome to the Vegetable Kingdom/ You can feel the vines grow up around your bones.' It brings back memories of my first love, Lana. This is just a great album. It really holds my interest, and considering my daily consumption of weed, that's really saying something."

"Yeah, Superman, me too. I just wish that they'd come around before Ben Folds Five made it big. I'd much rather have Fluid Ounces in the spotlight."

"Well, I could always fly around the earth backwards, reverse time, and make sure Ben Folds never gets that record contract."

"That would be awesome."

"Okay, I'll do it tomorrow morning or something."

-Chip Chanko