Consider these statistics: there are 12 songs on the Ex's 11th album, Dizzy Spells, and the record is an hour long. Rarely is a song less than four minutes long, and they often nearly reach the six-minute mark. One of these songs even begins with a minute of soft string-scratching effects on the guitar. Now, the Ex are from Amsterdam, and they seem punk enough, but according to everything I supposedly know about time measurement and how it corresponds to a punk song, these tracks are way too long to be punk songs. Is a Dutch minute equivalent to 2½ American minutes, maybe? Can I get a foreign relations expert in here, please?

This fact clarifies that I'd be doing punk fans a disservice if I recommended Dizzy Spells to them. Why, by the tenth second of inactivity or repetition past the norm, they'd simply hate me. Of course, they probably hate me anyway for making such offensive generalizations. You can't win in the world of entertaining music criticism, I say. C'est la vie. Maybe I'm questioning all this because, like any punk band with a rebellious, fuck-Disney attitude, the Ex seem like they want people to ask questions-- questions likes: what are they so agitated about? Should we be agitated, too? How are their songs so long? Don't they get bored playing them?

Oops. Silly me. I've been leaving a word and a hyphen out of my description of the Ex. See, the Ex aren't really straight punk; they're "art-punk." Angular guitars, intellectually abstract (or abstractly intellectual?) lyrics, oddly clattering beats, and yes, six-minute songs are all thrown into the mix. The Ex seem to borrow more from Wire and the Talking Heads than the Ramones and the Stooges. With every jagged, awkwardly phrased musical figure, you can visualize the band shoving their equipment just that much closer to the edge of Sanity Cliff.

The lyrics do indeed prove that the Ex are angry about something. When the band started out in the early 80's, their music was virtually packed with pro-socialist, ultra-liberal propaganda. These days it's not so obvious, but apparently, they're still not fans of big business. Take "Walt's Dizzyland," for example: "Mickey, Walt and Donald/ And goofy cousin Ronald/ They wanna swallow all your souls/ Like they've inked a pact." And "Karaoke Blackout" contains that all-too-popular topic for those rebellious kids, individuality and non-conformity: "They should stop thinking for myself!"

But Dizzy Spells is good. Oh, it's damn good, all right. The Ex are experts at effectively jarring dissonance, but they're not just noisy, either; they're well versed in creating musical chaos. Granted, melody isn't too common, but when it does show up somewhere in the din, it's all the more welcoming. And with uber-engineer Steve Albini, the band is captured in their most raw, primitive form, with all imperfections exposed alongside the numerous perfections. Any studio gloss would have done this group an injustice.

Unpredictability is key, and one of the more pleasant surprises must be described (read: ruined) in order to prove my point: on "River," one of the many highlights here, softly played dissonant chords and a gentle, rolling snare carry the song's first half. The lyrics indicate change in mood and atmosphere: "On your mark, take the plunge/ And face the next wave coming." The first time those words are sung, the track suddenly jumps to aggressive, serrated riffs, with melody splayed out all akimbo, in a powerful uptempo cadence. The second time, it morphs into a truly combative punk rhythm, and the sentiment becomes determined and filled with desire: "I wanna laugh and I want to love/ But not just love, that's not enough!"

The entirety of Dizzy Spells features enough gorgeously primitive twists like these to warrant an enthusiastic recommendation. These Dutch art-punks make truly exciting music, which is especially commendable when you consider they've been at it for so long. And the excitement is sustained so consistently over the hour-long running time that you'll almost begin to wish the six-minute songs were even longer. It's an hour of your life easily worth repeating. You might even find a reason to be this agitated. Hell, you might even find a reason to be Dutch. They're that good.

-Spencer Owen