Here at Pitchfork, we pride ourselves on taking a scientific approach to the art of music criticism. We realize that by assigning a numerical value to a recording, we take on the responsibility of ensuring that the given rating is 100% accurate. Thus, I have transcribed my careful calculations for the rating of electronic noodler Martin Gretschmann's Rocket in the Pocket, starting with a neutral 5.

5.0 – A good, neutral 5

+1.5 – Neat organic samples

+1.0 – Plethora of unique electronic sounds

+1.1 – Unique electronic sounds are tastefully layered

–0.6 – Obnoxious drum machine beats

+0.2 – Occasional polyrhythms

+0.6 – Vocoder/Computer voices

–0.6 – Vocoder/Computer voices

+1.0 – Presence of actual, strong melodies

–0.6 – Casio bleeps lifted directly from Trio's "Da Da Da"

+0.1 – Cool song titles like "My Dog Eats Beats"

+0.5 – Insanely catchy single, "14 Zero Zero"

–0.5 – Nothing else is even the slightest bit catchy

+0.5 – Unpredictable

–1.0 – Unoriginal

–1.0 – Several songs long outstay their welcome

Thus, the LP is awarded a comfortable 7.2, declaring its general niftiness, despite its occasional rambling.

Rocket in the Pocket is by no means brilliant, but it's chock full of enough twisted beats, samples, and electronic noise to keep you guessing. The album's first two tracks, "My Dog Eats Beats" and "14 Zero Zero," are easily the record's standouts. "My Dog Eats Beats" opens up with an ambiguous synthesizer playing pure bliss in major thirds. The song then breaks down into pretty standard electronic fare with a 4/4 beat and simple minor riffage.

But before the track sinks into a vacuum of inanity, the original synth melody makes a welcome appearance, providing a sharp counterpoint to the new minor riff. As the song progresses, layer upon layer of noises, ranging from reverb-drenched otherworldly synthesizers to sampled pianos and saxophones, are added to the mix. "14 Zero Zero" opens with what sounds like the music that played after you beat a level in the Nintendo classic "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2." (That's right-- the arcade port!) A computerized voice sings a compelling melody, though as the track wears on, the voice's tinny overtones become as intolerable as a Davey Von Bohlen lisp.

The rest of Rocket in the Pocket sounds like a half-decent imitation of its first two tracks. Each song seems to follow a similar formula of gradually layered beats, blips, and samples. By the time the fifth or six track rolls around, you get the feeling that every synth hit, beat, and sample has been used before. And while the components tend to remain unchanged, these ingredients are never again arranged nearly as effectively as they are on the album's opening cuts.

Rocket in the Pocket is the kind of album that, by virtue of its individual sounds alone, makes a fun listen. But after a few spins, the coolness starts to fade. Fast. In other words-- to employ a cheesy journalistic analogy-- blastoff is no problem, but this Rocket burns up on re-entry.

-Matt LeMay