Punk rock's not supposed to be good and it's not supposed to be pretty. Duh. So why are so many so-called punk bands making music that's easy to listen to? Got me. I'm no punk afficionado and I don't find any inspiration from the heroin kids in "Decline of Western Civilization." And I don't even like Chaos UK, so all of you who want to fire up your emails and tell me I'm an asshole, go for it.

One thing I do know is that Chaos UK beats the hell out of Slayer and any harder bands that think two chords are one too many and that guitar solos should emulate the sounds of beating off. However, it becomes clear mighty fast that without Motorhead, there would be no Chaos UK. So, I'm putting the blame on Lemmy, a man who should be blamed for far more things than just this.

One more thing I know is that stupid people are a lot more interesting than smart people. The Clash and the Jam may have been all smart and ironic and shit, but Chaos UK are Brixton thugs who know that cops suck and a broken bottle is much better security than a billy club. I'm not talking about music, because the Clash and the Jam are much easier to listen to, but if I'm gonna get into a fight, I'd rather be listening to something that makes me want to fight. The Clash makes me want to write an essay. The Jam makes me want to dance. Chaos UK makes me want to break my nose on some bastard's forehead.

So let's say this: If it looks punk and it smells punk, it must be shitty. That's a compliment.

-Shan Fowler