I don't like being fooled. Tell me exactly what this drug-- prescription or otherwise-- is going to do to me. Don't make a comedy about apes and advertise it as a remake of a science fiction classic. And please, please don't stuff your bra or boxer briefs, because no one wins in that kind of situation; you won't be very well regarded when the truth comes out, and I'll be pissed off. Surprise me, if you will, but don't fool me.

The Busy Signals' sole member, Howard W. Hamilton III, has done the disservice of fooling me, you, and anyone else who listens to his sophomore release, Pretend Hits. How? The first track, "The New You," is a gorgeous pop track. It opens with an echoed sample of a man saying, "Watch it," which loops over soft percussion and acoustic touches. "It's so nice/ To finally feel the times changing," sings Hamilton ever so lightly. "I'm happy to say/ Everything new is old again/ Everything old has been retired." It's what you'd expect from the label that brought you Wheat's Hope and Adams-- by no means brilliant, and almost unbearably soothing.

Then Hamilton messes with a perfectly sound formula. First of all, I should mention that he has a moniker, HWH3, which is never a good sign. See, Hamilton fancies himself a hip-hop beat specialist. He sells discs of beats for all those budding emcees lurking around eBay. Man's got to make living, I know, and it's better that than being a roadie for Babes in Toyland, as he once was. But it looks like he sold all his good beats away, 'cause ain't none of them here.

"Buckle Down (feat. Har Mar Superstar and Phonte')" is freshly packaged, but perfectly stale. We're well past the expiration date. The prefab beat is cheaper than copping a feel in the mosh pit, and the twinkling piano or electronic calliope that occasionally drops in only ups the cheese factor. Then Phonte' levels with us: "Yo, the Busy Signals. Phonte'. H-dub the third. We put it down for y'all, like that. Yo. To the year whatever. I can't say the year 'cause it might outdate it. And y'all radios might not play it." Right, like it's not already outdated. And all I wanted to know was why there's an apostrophe at the end of Phonte'. Later, Har Mar gives us his best D'Angelo impersonation. It feels like it'll never end.

But it does, leading us to "The Freeway (feat. Robert Schneider)." Yes, that Robert Schneider, of Apples in Stereo, who also lends a production hand on many of these tracks. Though, you'd think production duties were held by Sean "Puffy" "P. Diddy" "Thief" Combs. If you've never heard a song that couples a basic hip-hop beat with an effects keyboard's female falsettos, then you should try to get out more often. And if you've never heard Robert Schneider, then come here and listen closely. Come closer, I won't bite. HE SHOULD NOT BE SINGING ON A HIP-HOP TRACK.

"All the Young Designers (Brian Tester Remix)" is decidedly more bearable, although it carries a distinctly 80's feel, mostly likely the result of cheap electronics. "Attention Please" is the first of four carefree, sample-based beat instrumentals that are largely responsible for the band's Cornershop comparisons. While not particularly self-sufficient, these songs are by no means as irritating as the misguided hip-hop tracks, of which "Fresh like Clear Gel (feat. Phonte')" is another. The very Spiritualized "Tomorrow's Ways Today," meanwhile, finally fulfills the promise of the first track, but at the album's close, when all hope has already been lost.

Trust me on this one. I'm not fooling you.

-Ryan Kearney