As far as I can tell, there are basically four kinds of albums in the world. The first are the albums that you'd never listen to, let alone buy. Like Roger Waters' The Pros and Cons of Hitchhiking, the Crash Test Dummies' Give Yourself a Hand and the Spin Doctors' latest, Here Comes the Bride. The second group contains the albums most people agree are classics, that you probably own but rarely actually listen to; Led Zeppelin II, The White Album, and the Rolling Stones' Let It Bleed, por ejemplo. The third group consists of the albums in your collection-- the ones you don't sell off; the ones you really listen to. (On the better end of this group's spectrum are the albums you find yourself returning to over and over again; the ones you just can't get enough of.)

Then there's Category Four. Also known as the "Indie Cred Albums." These are the albums that you never listen to when you're alone, but which you make sure to have playing when you're expecting guests. The albums you play to make your friends think you're bad-ass. You know the scenario: you're having a few people over to hang out and drink beer, so you throw on something "challenging" or "experimental."

Your friends arrive, eventually somebody asks what you're listening to, and you spout off a band name that they've never heard of. They look back and forth between you and the stereo in quiet admiration. Then you toss off some ad- libbed, high- minded malarky like, "They're a German post- colonial big beat fuzz squirm- tronica collective." As they mumble quietly amongst themselves, you raise one Spock- like eyebrow and add, "It's pretty standard stuff, but I like it because there're some really cool dronophonic modulation effects." And after everybody's gone, you throw on AC/DC's Back in Black and flail your pale white ass around the house, singing into a hairbrush.

Bright's Blue Christian, the 12th installment in Darla Records' "Bliss Out" series, fits this bill perfectly. It's drony enough to be used for ambient (read: background) purposes, but has enough ride cymbal splashes and psycho saxophone to wig your friends out just a little bit. Rabid post- rock nerds will likely hear the sounds of the future in it, but it's not really new- sounding enough to disrupt conversation. Basically, it just sounds like... well, post- rock. There are nice bits here and there, but they're mostly lost amongst the album's sameness. The second track pretty much encapsulates the entire record: "Trip to the Sound- Alike Finals" sounds like pitting later- era Sonic Youth against Tortoise in a contest to see whose sound can be more predictable.

If this pompous party scenario is one you enjoy, as most of us music geeks do, then, by all means, pick up Blue Christian. It may not leave a lasting impression on you as a listener, but you can never have too many impress- your- friends albums. The cover art is pretty sweet too, so if you pick up the vinyl, you can lean the sleeve up against your stereo cabinet. At the end of the night, you can file it next to your copy of Telefunken's Flying Saucer Attack remix album and the Stereolab/ Nurse With Wound Crumb Duck EP. And then, finally, you can go get Kiss' Destroyer out from under the bed. It's okay, nobody's looking. Nobody will ever know.

-Zach Hooker