Back in the musically conservative late 70's, Washington, D.C.'s Bad Brains were the shit. Although they may have looked like harmless marijuana-addled rastas, they were the avatars of just about everything related to or embodying the new "hardcore" sound. Call it speed-metal, thrash-punk, rasta-metal or whatever-- a single blanket term isn't nearly enough to describe the bloodthirsty aggression Bad Brains generated on their eponymous debut album, released only in cassette form back in 1982.

Masters of rhythmic dynamics, these guys could breeze through a host of abrupt tempo changes within a single song without ever losing any momentum. Expert guitarist Dr. Know's sophisticated but raging proto-metal guitar chops had actual fangs, and frontman H.R. spat angry, defiant, politically charged lyrics. As you may know, Bad Brains attempted a comeback in the early 90's. But after a few disappointing albums for indifferent major labels, and poor record sales in general, the legendary band called it quits for good around 1996.

Not surprisingly, none of the stiff, whitewashed bands on Never Give In: A Tribute to the Bad Brains even hint at the same anarchic punk energy Bad Brains effortlessly conveyed on stage and on record. So, hey, fellas, why not try doing something different? Deviate from the originals a little. Fuck with anything and everything. But don't expect to end up with worthy tribute material by attempting to move in on the same musical turf as the band themselves. You're merely setting yourself up for embarrassment.

The only legitimate sign of imaginative life on this tribute is Moby's refashioning of "Sailin' On." Here, the descendant of a famous fictional sperm whale completely deconstructs and rebuilds the song into a laid-back chunk of minimalist lounge-pop. Not bad for the richly pedigreed, deity-like Mr. Dancy-Pants, really. Especially compared to what one is subjected to on the remainder of these nearly unendurable 16 tracks.

Problem is, the lesser known hardcore and metal acts on Never Give In lack the imagination and the talent to do anything resembling the unexpected. Tribute albums have become so ubiquitous that the only way any of these collections could have redeeming value (at least for the consumer) is if a particular band were clever enough to bring any sort of inventive flair to the table-- a disturbingly rare feat, indeed. Otherwise, why should anyone pay attention? If you really want to hear a worthwhile tribute to Bad Brains, why not just go out and pick up a copy of the band's debut album, or 1986's I Against I?

I suppose the ambition here, for most of these bands, is to honor Bad Brains by attempting to sound just like them. And as the blatant near-uniformity of sound on Never Give In proves, these dopey metalheads' cast-iron, die-cut brains function in much the same one-dimensional mechanical fashion. The core of Bad Brains' sound was always elusive, and consisted of a hell of a lot more than meets the untutored ear. H.R.'s abrasive, snotty whine sounds like nothing else in music. Yet, judging from most of the cover versions included here, if you had never actually heard Bad Brains, you'd probably think they were just some early incarnation of Deicide.

As bland, emasculate bands like Sepultura and Skinlab prove, any easily angered suburban dumbfuck with the brain-mass of a melon and the ability to growl in the patented Hellraiser scaryvoice can produce a feeble-to-mediocre cover version of a Bad Brains song. And here, they puke up paltry replicas of "Gene Machine" and "The Messengers," respectively. Downset, doing their rendition of "Supertouch/Shitfit," sound like Keanu Reeves screaming at the top of his lungs, backed, of course, by bad boy Charlie Sheen wiggin' out on a Flying V with a Boss death metal stomp pedal. Ignite somehow turns the ferocious "Pay to Cum" into an Offspring song. "Banned in D.C.," my personal Bad Brains favorite, and arguably one of the greatest punk songs in existence, is mercifully but mysteriously left off this tribute. This is likely due to the fact that it's one of the band's trickiest songs to play.

So when does this rampant tribute crap become just an empty exercise in an individual band's selfish groping for some sort of old-school hardcore credibility? On the one hand, there's the admirable theoretical aspect of an honorary gesture like this-- different bands joining hands and supposedly heralding a particular influential group by recording an album of second-rate remakes. Well, that's all fine and good for the participants and the honorees, I guess. But what about the record-buying public at large? What does it do for us, exactly? As long as Bad Brains' own music is in print, a record like Never Give In just isn't necessary.

-Michael Sandlin