I got a heart so big it could crush this town. Really, I'm not just swiping a Tom Petty lyric for shits and giggles. My heart is huge, knocking off them block rocking beats like it was a couple of ugly English guys with a sampler. Speaking of which... techno music.

Back in the day, there was Meat Beat Manifesto. Don't get me wrong-- there still is a Meat Beat Manifesto, but in the early '90s it was the only sort of techno I could wrap my hands around. Storm the Studio and 99% are sheer works of genius. I rediscovered this last week when I took a little jaunt to Los Angeles. There I sat in front of the stereo, stoned to the bone and kicking ass on "Tekken 3." Hard beats, so thick and bloated that a set of octuplets could come spilling out at any moment. Have you heard these albums? If not, snatch them up. They're the blueprint for all of the rigid, noisy dance music of the early '90s.

Meanwhile, here in the late '90s, techno has taken a different track. Today's techno artists couldn't give a shit about anything under 120 BPM. Everything's too fast to dance to. Sorry if it dates me, but it's true. I don't want to hit a dance floor and wiggle back and forth at 900 BPM to jungle music. Arling and Cameron's latest in a string of American releases, All-In, has a handful of tracks like this but dancing doesn't seem to be the motive. Even on the track "We Love Dancing," the motive is less KMFDM and more on the jokey Aphex Twin tip. Remember "Milkman" from Aphex's Richard D. James Album? Who didn't bust a gut during the crazy "I would like some milk from the milkman's wife's tits" chorus? Deaf people, of course. Everybody else got the joke. "We Love Dancing" is a hyperactive number built around a sample of giggling four- year- olds singing the title and yelling "Yaaaaaaaay!" The joke is later resurrected on the Kraftwerk parody "We Love to Rock" and the spacy "We Love Dub."

I guess what I'm trying to say is that All-In is, yet isn't, a techno album. "Speeding Down the Highway-- Fastest Girl Around" is a nice merging of Buffalo Daughter and Stereolab without succumbing to the godawful hijinx of the Cardigans. "But What About the Boys" is a future gay club classic, and I say that with hope that future gay club classics won't entail Ace of Base or Human League. "Get It On" rubs itself all over shag carpeted bass lines before surrendering to jagged beats and Hammond organ. The sprightly fun of "Groovy" will have you tapping your foot and whistling in no time flat. Can you dance to it? Ask a dancer. I like music, and when you get right down to it, I like All-In.

-Jason Josephes